by Delisa Lynn
“Well, I’m sure you know by now that your cousin is back. I’m really glad he is okay. The fucked up part is I lost Lila forever. Hell, I knew she was never mine. I was just filling that void. Ads, I know Lila could really use you right now, so please watch over her. You will be seeing Mr. Carls soon.” As I stand up, I see a yellow butterfly land on Addison’s stone.
I arrive at the memorial service and see all of Lila’s family and friends, but I just stand alone. I don’t want to intrude. Lila is standing between Nikki and Liam. Seeing her hold onto him makes me sick. I can’t hate him, though. I knew when I fell for her that she was his. I knew, eventually, she would run back to him with open arms. After the service, Lila notices me and walks over to me along with Nikki and Brody.
“Evan, thank you for coming. I’m really glad you did,” she whispers in my ear as she hugs me.
I hug her back. “I’m really sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.”
Just then, Liam walks over and grabs Lila’s hand. He looks me in the eyes and says, “Evan, thanks for coming. It means a lot to Lila.”
“No thanks needed, Liam. She knows I will always be here for her.”
My hands ball up at the hate in his eyes when he looks at me. I did him a favor. I kept his girl company while he couldn’t.
“Why don’t you join us all back at the house?” Lila asks me, touching my arm. “We are having dinner and drinks. It would mean a lot if you did.”
Damn, why does she have to be so beautiful? I still love her. She was just following her heart, the heart that I was madly in love with, the heart that borrowed mine and then broke it.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Lila. I better get going.”
“No, don’t be silly. You can join us,” she says as she pulls my arm toward the rest of the crowd. I’m not sure how everyone else feels about her ex-fiancé tagging along, but I’m very uncomfortable. I feel like I’m intruding.
Once we get to the Carls’ house, everyone sits around laughing, joking, and eating. Lila makes me a plate and brings it to me. Liam is staring us down.
“Thanks, Lila, but I’m not hungry. I ate this morning,” I say, trying not to look into her beautiful eyes.
She sits next to me. “You came all the way here, and I know you like potato salad, so please eat with us.”
Ahh hell, I can’t say no to her. I take the plate and start to eat. Liam walks over to us. He looks at the two of us sitting there, eating, and tells Lila he’s going to fix himself a plate. Oh fuck, she fed me and not him? That makes me smile.
After I finish eating, I talk to Mrs. Carls, Nikki, and Brody. Then I figure it’s time for me to go. I can’t stay here any longer. Looking at my darling Lila with her future husband is breaking me. Fuck, this is hurting me just as bad as everything that happened with Bryn.
“Lila, I’m going to go. I wish you the best. Take care of yourself,” I say as I hug her.
“Wait, I want to talk to you in private, please,” she asks as she takes my hand and leads me out into the guest house. I don’t see Liam anywhere. He must not know she’s bringing me out here.
“I should go. It’s hurting me so bad to see you with him,” I say as I run my hands through my hair.
She runs her hands over my face. God, she smells great. She’s wearing a black low-cut dress with a pair of black knee boots. She leans forward and starts running her hands across my chest. Fuck, what is she doing? My dick gets hard instantly. I haven’t been in her in four months.
“Lila, what are you doing? We can’t do this anymore. You made your choice.” I kiss her forehead.
“I want you. You are all I think about. I need you inside of me one last time. I’ve dreamed of making love to you again. I need you now. Please, Evan. You can’t walk away from me right now. I’m so broken inside and out. I love Liam and I will continue to be with him, but he isn’t you. I fell so fucking hard for you and it’s driving me crazy.”
She starts kissing me.
“This is the last time. I will give you whatever you need or want.”
I pick her up and wrap her legs around my waist. She unzips my pants and strokes me. I slide her panties to the side and slide myself inside of her. She’s so warm and wet.
“Oh, Lila, I love you so fucking much. I have wanted to be with you every goddamn day since you left.”
“I love you too. I love the way you feel inside of me. Please show me how much you love me. Make love to me like you never have before.” She pushes further into my body.
With every thrust I make, I know I can never have her again. I can feel my build up. “Lila, I’m ready to come. I need to pull out,” I say.
“No. Please, Evan, don’t. I want all of you. I need it. I need you.”
“Fuck, Lila, I can’t hold it any longer.”
I have her pushed up against the wall, and as I come, she does too. Our bodies rock against each other. Being inside of her and kissing her all over feels so wonderful.
“That was incredible. I love you so much and I’m so sorry for hurting you. I hope, in time, we can be friends again.” She kisses me.
“I have to go. You need to get back inside. I will always love you and be your friend, no matter what. Have a nice life, Lila.”
I kiss her and walk away. I walk past the front porch and see Liam and Ashton standing there, talking. I look at them both and say, “See ya around.”
They both say, “See ya.”
I don’t feel bad about what Lila and I did. He has her heart and that’s all that matters. I had her one last time and he will have her the rest of his life.
I go and check into a hotel. I need to take a shower and get a drink. I’m going to catch a flight in the morning. I call my dad and tell him everything about Lila and me. I haven’t been completely honest with him about Lila. I even tell him what happened today. He says he knew something was going on, but he was waiting for me to come to him.
I shower and order dinner. Then I receive a text from Brody.
Brody: You fucked her didn’t you? I think Liam knows. Where are you? We aren’t leaving until tomorrow.
Me: I made love to her, just as she asked me to. I’m at the Marriott. Come over dude and have a drink.
Brody: That’s my man, okay I will. Nikki is staying with Lila for a while so I will hang out with you.
When he arrives, I order some champagne and we hit up the mini bar. Those little drinks need to be bigger, that’s for sure. I think we drank everything that was in there. I’m gonna hate to see my bill in the morning, but, with the way I’m feeling, the bill is worth it.
“Hey, Brody. You fucked any seals lately?” I ask, laughing.
“Hell the fuck no, dude. That was a one time fuck up.”
“Yeah, she is a wild one, for sure. She is the only one that will ever love me, though,” I say as I feel tears sting my eyes.
He hugs me. “Fuck bro, you crying?”
“I’m good. Just thinking. If you really love Nikki, then tell her. Don’t let any other jerk have her.” I pat him on his back.
“You will not end up with Alyssa. You’ll find your forever. I promise you, dude, she is out there.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, bro. Thanks.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Three And A Half Years Later
I’ve been working at the law firm as a trial lawyer for a year now. I’ve spent the last six years working at the firm and living in the same damn loft in New York. Brody lives in Ohio, with Nikki, and Zander is back in Alabama. Audrey moved too, so the only person left is Alyssa.
I can’t stand her half the time, but she’s the only friend still here. She works at another law firm down the street. I haven’t slept with her in years, but she’s always around. She’s the one person I can count on to never leave me. No matter what I’m going through, she’s there.
Sometimes I wish she wasn’t. She’s never really betrayed me or screwed me over. I just don’t have any romantic feelings for h
er. She’s never had a steady boyfriend. I know she thinks I’m going to eventually give into her and be with her, but I won’t.
I was having lunch with some co-workers the other day when Brody called and said Lila was flying to New York for a wedding. Lila is now married to Liam, and they have twin girls. She’s a lawyer and she’s doing really well. I’m happy for them. I would love to see her, but it would bring back old memories. I don’t even have her number anymore. I know I’ll see her next year at Nikki and Brody’s wedding. Yep, he finally popped the big question. I’m happy for the two of them. They have always loved each other and I’m glad they found their way back to one another.
I’m having dinner with Alyssa at the café. She has a case she wants my opinion on. I’m so tired. I just go straight there from work. Alyssa and I are standing in the corner, getting ready to get a table, when I see Lila. She looks a little older. Her hair is shorter and she’s a little thicker, but she’s still beautiful.
“Evan, is that who the fuck I think it is?” Alyssa says.
“I think it is her,” I say as I stand there in shock.
Lila turns around and has a shocked look on her face when she sees us. Then she walks over to us.
“Hey, Evan, Alyssa. How are you? Are you two married?”
“Hey, and no, we are not married,” I say.
“Well, Lila Carls, I heard you are a big fancy lawyer now,” Alyssa says as she wraps her arm around mine.
“It’s Carls-Ellis, and yes, I am.”
Oh damn, she had to throw Liam’s name in there. She still hates Alyssa, I can tell. I want to hug her, tell her how much I miss her, but I don’t. I just stand with my hands in my pockets.
“Well, it was good seeing y’all. I have to get going.” She turns to walk away.
“Yeah, you too, sweets,” Alyssa says.
Now I’m just ready to go home. Seeing her just made my heart skip a few beats. I end up going home shortly after Lila leaves. Alyssa is kind of pissed and wants to join me, but I tell her I need alone time.
I’m so glad it’s Friday. I think about going to see my dad this upcoming weekend, but I’m not sure. I haven’t gone to Birmingham to see my grandparents in a few years, nor have I heard anything from Tatum. When I talk to Zander, he never mentions her. I’m sure she is a doctor by now.
I hear a knock at the door and I know exactly who it is. I knew she would come see me.
“Hey, Lila. Come on in.” Fuck, she is so goddamn beautiful.
“Is this a bad time?” she asks as she steps in. “If so, I can go.”
“Nope, it’s okay. Want a beer?” I say, walking to the fridge.
“Sure, that would be great.” She sits on the couch. I sit next to her and hand her a beer. I can see she is nervous. Hell, I’m nervous.
“So, how are you, Lila?”
“Good. I’m here for Heather’s wedding.”
“Yeah, I heard she was getting married.”
There’s silence. Then we talk for a couple hours. She shows me pics of her girls and tells me stories about them. She talks about Eric and his new girlfriend and Brody and Nikki.
“Do you wanna go to the park?”
“Sounds great. I thought you would never ask.”
We leave for the park hand in hand, just like the old times. Talking to her and holding her hand feels so good. I’ve only had sex four times since our last time together. I’m just tired of one night stands, tired of not being able to find anyone I’m interested in.
Lila and I eat a hotdog from the cart and watch the ducks eat. Then she asks if I want to get a drink at the hotel with her. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.
We have several drinks, and then we dance. She still smells as good as she did years ago. My heart is breaking all over again. I can’t let her back in. Hell, who am I kidding? I’ve never stopped loving her. The only other person I’ve ever loved this much is Tatum, but she too chose someone else over me.
“Lila, what are we doing here?” I ask as she lays her head on my chest.
“I’m not sure. It feels right to me. I’ve missed you so much. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Please come back and stay with me tonight. I need you more than you will ever know.”
“It’s not a good idea. You’re married now. I don’t think I can.”
“Please, just one night, Evan.” She kisses me.
Fuck, how can I say no? I start kissing her as we make our way to the elevator. I’m ready to take her right here in the elevator. I want to rip her clothes off and wrap her legs around my waist and just fuck the hell out of her.
Once we’re in the room, she starts undressing me and herself. Even after having children, her body is perfect. I kiss her breasts, then work my way down. I need to taste her. I haven’t tasted her in so long, I was afraid I would come when my tongue stroked her clit. She’s so wet and tastes so fucking good.
“Please fuck me now. I need you inside of me,” she begs.
I kiss my way back up. As soon as I guide myself inside of her, it’s like fireworks go off. Her warm wetness wrapping around my throbbing shaft is the best feeling ever. We make mad, and I mean mad, passionate love all goddamn night.
I awake to her giving me some much needed head. I love the way she always sucks the tip and slides her tongue up and down as she cups my balls.
“Good morning, beautiful. Now it’s my turn.”
I pick her up, take her to the shower, and make love to her again. Then we order breakfast. Her phone starts ringing and I can tell it’s Liam. By the expression on her face, I know she regrets everything that just happened. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but she’s very short with her replies and rushes off the phone. She starts crying when she hangs up. I just hold her and tell her it’s fine, that we can’t do this again.
“I know. I just love and miss you so much. I know it’s wrong of me. I love Liam and my life so much, but I have always wanted you in my life too.” She cries on my chest.
I start to get dressed. “Come on. You have a wedding to attend and then I will see you after.”
Finally understanding I can never be with her again, I leave the room. She goes to the wedding and I go to the office. I have a case I need to look at before Monday.
Lila calls me after the wedding and I meet her at the hotel. I stay with her and hold her all night. I take her to the airport the next morning and kiss her goodbye for the last time. While she boards the plane, I make a vow to myself that I will move on and put her in the past, just like the others.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Evan
I’m on my way home from dropping Lila off at the airport when I receive a phone call from Zander. He won’t tell me anything except come to Alabama. I have no fucking clue what is going on. All I can think about is my grandparents. I’m afraid something is wrong with one of them. I turn around and go back to the airport. Zan says to call him when I arrive in Birmingham and he’ll pick me up.
It takes me eight hours to get here. I didn’t even bring any bags with me. I’ll have to get some clothes when I find out what’s going on. When I walk through the terminal, I see Zander and Audrey from a distance. Audrey runs into my arms.
“Oh God, Evan. I’m so glad you’re here. She really needs you. He almost killed her, but she got him good,” Audrey says.
“What is going on? Who are you talking about?”
“Bro, fucking Thayer tried to kill Tatum. He beat the fuck out of her and shot her. Somehow, she managed to get the gun from him and she shot him in the shoulder and did so much damage that he had to have his arm amputated. He threatened to hurt her loved ones if she left him,” Zander says, tears in his eyes.
“I want to kill that motherfucker. Please tell me they aren’t in the same hospital?” I ask.
“No, they have him on lockdown. He is going to jail for a long time.”
“Good, Zan. That piece of shit doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Ta. Now, get me to her.”
***
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My beautiful Tatum is lying in the hospital bed with all kinds of machines and wires around her. Her beautiful long hair is caked in blood. He shot her and broke her ribs, her arm, and her nose. She’s alive and she’s going to have a long recovery. I can’t believe that bastard would hurt her like this. She’s so little and beautiful.
“Ta, I’m here, baby. I’m never leaving your side. I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy and making sure you are protected. He will never touch you again. Baby, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand.” She squeezes my hand as a tear rolls down her cheek. “Can you open your eyes, Ta? Open them for me, please.” I run my hand along her cheek bone. She starts blinking and tries to talk. “Shhh, baby, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s me.”
I call for a nurse to come in and a young, tall girl walks in. “My name is Ali and I’m Miss Kelley’s day nurse. Looks like our girl wants to talk.”
She starts removing wires and tubes. Tatum opens her eyes and holds my hand tightly.
“It’s okay, love. I’m here and I’m not leaving you. You can talk soon and you can tell me everything,” I say, rubbing her face.
“She should be okay now. Let me know if you need anything else.” The nurse walks out.
“Ev…Evan, thank you for coming. I have missed you so much. I love you so much. I always have and always will. He was going to kill you if I left him. That first day I saw you after all those years, he said I had to marry him and if I didn’t, he would kill you.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m here and I’m fine. Don’t cry, love. He will never hurt either of us again. I promise you that.” I bend down and kiss her forehead.
“Do you still want me, Evan?” she asks with tears falling down her bruised cheeks.
I kiss her. “Tatum Kelley, I have loved and wanted you since I could remember. This time, I’m not letting you go. I have loved and been broken more than once. If you will give me one hundred percent and aren’t borrowing my heart again, it’s all yours, darlin’.”