by Amy Ruttan
Blast.
He’d known she was going to be here and he’d planned to stay away from the event, because he’d managed to stay away from her the last few days. Zoe had been very insistent on coming because of her friends who were planning to attend.
So he’d steeled his resolve and planned to hide away in the corner, but then she’d been standing there beside the tree, looking breathtakingly beautiful in that gown, her hair swept up, her back bare so he could admire the graceful sweep of her long neck.
Then she looked at him and he was lost and for a moment he forgot why he was staying away from her.
She’s your colleague. Not a conquest.
“Is your father here?” he asked, trying to change the subject.
“Yes. He went over to speak to the host and hostess.” She nodded in that direction and he saw Charles smiling and laughing, though he looked terrible. Charles’s face was so gaunt.
“The chemotherapy is hard on him, I can see.” Thomas sighed. “It’s a shame.”
Geraldine frowned. “Yes. I told him we should just stay home, but he was insistent on coming and was very insistent on me attending.’
“Of course. This is your first formal function as his daughter.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a duke?” she asked again.
Thomas shrugged. “It’s not something I like to brag about. It’s just a title. I’m a surgeon. That I will brag about.”
“I don’t blame you for that in the least.” Then she laughed. “A duke living in a flat in Notting Hill.”
“I may have stretched the truth a tad. I’m afraid I live in quite a large house in Notting Hill. Staff quarters, the whole thing.”
“A flat is what you said.”
Thomas shrugged. “Well, my room is like a flat.”
Geraldine rolled her eyes and music began to filter out of the ballroom. Even though he shouldn’t, he decided he couldn’t resist taking her in his arms, even just for tonight, and having a dance. He took her half-filled champagne flute and set it down. Then he took her hand.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
“We’re going to have a dance.”
“No, I don’t think that’s wise,” she said, dragging her feet.
“I think it’s very wise. Besides, what harm can it do? We’re friends, right?”
“No,” she said. “We barely know each other.”
“Well, coworkers, then. Come on.”
“I’m a terrible dancer,” she said.
“I’ll lead. It’s not a problem.” He winked at her and gave a tug and she followed after him into the ballroom where people were dancing to the slow music played by the live band. He spun her round and then pulled her flush against him, before leading her out on the dance floor. His hand was on the small of her back as he led the dance.
“You know how to dance?”
“Of course. I’m a duke.” He winked at her and she laughed at his joke but turned her head away.
It felt so good, having her in his arms. He was cursing himself inwardly for doing something so unlike him again. He was pursuing the wrong woman. He couldn’t have her. Only as they moved across the dance floor in sync, his resolve was weakening, because he did want her.
She was forbidden fruit and he was sorely tempted. Geraldine deserved a man who could give her everything he couldn’t. He had money to support her, but he didn’t have a heart to give her. He couldn’t give her a family, even though that’s what he wanted to do.
Geraldine had been through enough pain. Just like him. She deserved more.
“Come on, this dance can’t be all that bad, Geraldine.”
A pink blush tinged her cheeks. “No, it’s not. It’s actually my first dance. I was a bit of a wallflower growing up. No one ever asked me to dance.”
“No one? They were out of their minds then. You’re a fantastic dancer, for the most part because that was my toe you just stepped on.”
“Sorry,” she said. Then she laughed. “Although you do deserve it for forcing me out here.”
He shrugged. “It’s quite all right.”
“Your sister looks beautiful tonight.” Geraldine nodded in the direction of Zoe standing on the edge of the dance floor smiling at him as they moved past.
“Yes, she’s a brat of the highest order. She’s the one who forced me out here tonight.”
“And what does she think of her brother being the notorious Dark Duke?”
He grinned. “She thinks it’s funny, if a bit disturbing. She adores me, though, so it doesn’t matter what I do as long as I’m up-front with her. We don’t hide anything from each other.”
A strange expression passed over her face.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. Just envious of your sibling relationship. I was an only child.” Geraldine smiled. “Zoe is a wonderful young woman. You should be proud.”
“I am.” He glanced back at his sister. “She’s my pride.”
And the closest thing he’d have to having a daughter.
The dancing ended and they stood there for a moment at the edge of the dance floor while the other dancers clapped the band. He still held onto her, staring down into those deep green eyes. He was so close he could reach down and just kiss her.
“Come on,” he whispered in her ear, drinking in her perfume.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m going to give you a reputation worthy of a lady.” He winked at her.
She blushed, but followed him to a curtained alcove by a window. It was dark in there and she was trembling in his arms.
“Thomas,” she whispered. “This isn’t wise.”
“I’m not going to do anything.” Though he wanted to. “You should’ve seen everyone looking at you. Looking at us. I have to keep up the appearance of being something of a rogue, so I can get all those matchmaking mothers off my back. I’m a highly desirable bachelor.”
“I guess, with your pedigree, you would be highly desirable.” She sighed. “My father is pushing me to find a suitable match. Like I need to be married.”
Thomas was intrigued. “You don’t want to get married?”
“No. Not particularly.”
“Why?”
“Does it matter? Why do I have to get married?”
“So, you wouldn’t be against a bit of romance that didn’t end in something more?”
Don’t. You can’t have her. Charles’s daughter.
“No, I wouldn’t mind,” she whispered. “I don’t need any promises made to me.”
His pulse thundered in his ears and he reached down to touch her cheek, which looked almost like alabaster in the moonlight filtering through the window. She didn’t need marriage, didn’t want it. Just like he didn’t want it. Perhaps he could just indulge once. Just one kiss. He was going to lean down and kiss her, but at that moment a scream rent the air.
They came out of the curtained alcove and looked back toward the dance floor to see what the commotion was about. Geraldine saw it first.
“Zoe!” Geraldine shouted, picking up her skirts and running.
Thomas spun around in time to see his sister crumple to the floor and go into a seizure before her body went rigid. By the time he got to her, she wasn’t breathing.
“Call emergency services and get a defibrillator here immediately,” he screamed above the din. He was handed one and charged it and was about to place the pads on her chest.
“No, you can’t!” Geraldine yelled, throwing herself over Zoe’s body.
“What’re you doing?” Thomas shouted.
“Zoe has a pacemaker. If you shock her with incorrect placement of the paddles, she’ll die.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
“PACEMAK
ER?” THOMAS SAID, dumbfounded, as Geraldine did chest compressions. He was angry at himself for not acting faster. For not knowing about Zoe’s pacemaker. For hesitating.
Wake up!
“Yes,” she answered. “They need to be an inch away if you’re going to shock her.”
“I know,” Thomas snapped. He adjusted the pads an inch away from where Geraldine indicated the device was implanted. “Clear.”
Geraldine moved her hands and he shocked his baby sister. It almost too much to bear, watching her convulse as the electric shock moved through her, trying to start her heart again. It was more than he could bear and he cried out as he watched her. The only real family he had. The only one who’d loved him unconditionally since his mother.
“Let me do that,” Charles said gently, taking the paddles from his hands. “You can’t, you’re family.”
Thomas mumbled his thanks and took a step back. Feeling lost and helpless, all he could do was watch. It was agonizing.
Geraldine continued chest compressions. “I think the pacemaker stopped firing.”
“When was the last time she had it checked?” Thomas demanded.
“Three days ago. She came to see me, and it was fine,” Geraldine said.
Thomas was so angry. Why hadn’t anyone told him that Zoe had a pacemaker, and since when? He also wanted to know who had put it in. He was ready to throttle whoever had. He felt like his trust had been violated, and he felt like a complete fool for saying that Zoe and he never hid anything from each other.
She clearly did and for one moment he wasn’t sure if he could trust anyone.
No wonder Geraldine had looked so oddly at him, it was because she knew the truth. She knew there was something that Zoe had been hiding from him. He felt betrayed and hurt. There was no one he could trust.
“Clear,” Charles shouted.
Geraldine stopped compressions and Thomas turned away, not wanting to watch has they shocked his sister again. This time, though, Zoe gasped for breath as the pacemaker obviously kicked back on.
Thank God.
“Zoe, you’re okay,” Geraldine whispered. “You’re okay. Your pacemaker stopped working and you had a seizure.”
Zoe didn’t say anything, just nodded and took deep breaths. The paramedics arrived then and Thomas stood back as they loaded his sister onto a stretcher, Geraldine and Charles were telling the paramedics all the important health information.
Geraldine picked up her skirts and began to follow the paramedics out. Thomas raced after them and took Zoe’s hand.
“I’m her brother and her guardian. I’m going with her,” Thomas stated firmly, not letting his sister’s hand go. He wouldn’t leave her. He’d take care of her. He hadn’t been able to save his mother all those years ago, but he’d save his little sister.
The paramedics nodded.
Zoe clung to her brother. She was shaking as she took deep breaths through the oxygen mask. Geraldine helped push the gurney out to the waiting ambulance. She climbed inside.
“You don’t have to come, Geraldine. I have it from here.” Thomas didn’t want to take her from the party. Zoe was his responsibility. The truth was that he didn’t want Geraldine to see him at this vulnerable moment with his sister. She couldn’t see him like this. No one did. Only there was also a piece of him that wanted her there.
“I’m coming with you. I’m her doctor.”
“No, you’re not her doctor. I’m her doctor.”
“No. You’re her brother. You can’t help and you know that. I am coming with you,” Geraldine said firmly, but with tenderness that he appreciated.
Thomas nodded and then squeezed Geri’s hand in thanks. She was right. He had no choice. He was Zoe’s brother, family, and there was no way he could be her doctor right now because doctors couldn’t work on their own family members. He had to let Geraldine help him.
“What if she needs surgery? You can’t help her then,” Thomas said. “I’m the cardiothoracic surgeon.”
“No, but I can find someone who can. We’ll get her help, don’t worry.” She squeezed his hand back, her touch reassuring. It felt so good to have that human connection. No one had ever shown him compassion like this before. He didn’t know what he’d been missing.
Thomas didn’t say anything further.
Still, he felt angry and hurt he hadn’t known about Zoe’s pacemaker. How could both Charles and Geraldine hide this from him? They were his partners. How could Zoe hide this from him? He felt hurt and he felt betrayed, but there was nothing he could do right now.
Right now his focus had to be on his little sister. And he was angry at himself for not seeing the signs of her condition. He was a cardiothoracic surgeon, for God’s sake.
The ride to the hospital was tense and he couldn’t stop the feelings of anger, confusion and fear whirling around inside him. He felt like he was going to burst at any moment. They pulled up at the hospital and all he could do was hold his sister’s hand as they wheeled her into the accident and emergency department.
They called down a cardiothoracic surgeon and Thomas felt foolish standing outside the pod, not being able to do what he was good at. This was the one time his medical training was useless, because there was nothing he could do to help.
And for the first time in a long time he understood what his patients’ families went through. He always had that sense of sympathy and connection with them because of what had happened to his mother, but he forgot what it felt like to feel completely helpless, and he didn’t like it one bit.
Geraldine stood back as the cardiothoracic surgeon stepped in and started checking the pacemaker. Scans were being ordered. Geraldine was just a cardiologist. She had hospital privileges, but she wasn’t a surgeon; didn’t have the training.
She glanced back at Thomas through the glass of the trauma pod and he could see the sympathy in her eyes. He went to the doorway.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.
“No. Please stay with her. I know there’s not much you can do, but it would make me feel better if you stayed with her. Zoe trusts you. She came to you. Not me.”
And it killed him to admit it.
“She didn’t want to worry you,” Geraldine said, trying to ease his concern, but it didn’t work.
“I would’ve rather known. This is a thousand times worse than not knowing.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t tell you. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”
And of course she was right. Geraldine had been just as stuck as him. In the heat of the moment he had been looking for someone to blame, but Geraldine couldn’t have told him even if she’d wanted to.
“Please stay. For me. I need you to stay.” His heart was tearing in two, waiting for her answer, and for putting his heart on the line, asking her to stay for him, but he needed her. Which terrified him.
Geraldine nodded. “I will. Of course I will.”
* * *
Geraldine stood by helplessly while the cardiothoracic surgical registrars did their work in the cath lab, but she’d promised Thomas that she would stay with his sister the whole time. She felt a little bit foolish, standing off to the side in a ball gown, but after a bit she didn’t care. She’d reminded herself that she’d done more embarrassing things in her younger days. This was nothing. She was doing this for her colleague.
Possibly her friend?
And she was doing this for her patient above all.
She’d seen the hurt in Thomas’s eyes. She knew how much he cared for his sister and it broke her heart that this had had to happen. Zoe was too young to have this kind of thing happen to her, but then again she thought that about all her pediatric heart patients.
They were too young to have broken hearts, as it were. They didn’t deserve it, which was why sh
e wanted to become a cardiologist. To save lives.
It was why she’d wanted to become a cardiothoracic surgeon. Only her foolish dealings with Frederick had ruined all that. She’d allowed her emotions to rule her instead of her head.
And when she and Thomas had been in that alcove together, she’d wanted him to kiss her. She had foolishly allowed her emotions to drive her decisions. And she was mad at herself for that. She was so weak.
She wasn’t going to let another man get in the way of her career again.
She was here to be a cardiologist. That was it. There would be no running away this time, because she wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
Right now while they were doing a heart catheterization to repair the damage to Zoe’s pacemaker she wished she had her surgical training so that she could help Zoe, to ease Thomas’s worry. She knew how to do this. She was good at heart catheterizations. Zoe was her patient and she should be the one in there.
Only she wasn’t. And it was all her own fault.
Thomas was pacing in the hallway. The pain etched on his face was more than Geri could bear. She’d never seen him like this. He’d always had that air of devil-may-care, always joking, always smiling, always a twinkle in his eye. There were also times he was so arrogant it set her teeth on edge, but this was different. She felt bad for him. She felt bad that this was happening to him. Her friend. That’s all he was. Her first real friend in London.
Geri took a deep breath and stepped out into the hallway. Thomas came rushing over to her, pain and worry etched into his face.
“Well?” he asked.
“They are doing the heart catheterization right now. The pacemaker was fine when I checked it four days ago. The computer ran a perfect test. She’s had that pacemaker since she was ten, there was nothing wrong with it.”
Thomas cursed under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes, but, like all technology, all machines can be faulty. They’re not good enough.”
“The heart catheterization will work. They’ll repair the faulty wiring in the pacemaker. She won’t need to have another one inserted again. She’s going to be fine.”