by T. S. Ryder
“One beach, then two beaches, then three beaches. The government allows us to hunt because we don’t bother this population.” Noel narrowed his eyes at Kurtis. “We can’t risk losing their permission. Larger herds or not, what are we going to eat if we can’t bring in sea lions?”
Diana got to her feet. The alphas kept arguing as she came over to the map. It was a topographical one, showing elevations with little marks about ground fertility. The piece of property they were arguing about wasn’t very fertile at all, according to the legend. Diana frowned as her gaze skimmed the map. There. A large flat piece which good fertility.
She pointed at it. “What about that land there? Why can’t we use it for a field?”
“That’s Ridgeline territory,” Kurtis replied. “We need to expand the town for our growing population and that’s where we’ve started looking to expand.”
“Okay.” Diana chewed her lip, wondering if this was a time she needed to speak up or shut up. Yet, if she was going to be a queen, if she was going to be anything but the breeder for these four alphas, then she needed to know more and not be afraid of stating her opinion. She couldn’t be so blindly stubborn as she had been with the sea lion pup, but she couldn’t be a wallflower, either. “Um, Kurtis? Is there a reason why you need to move out rather than building up? There aren’t any apartment buildings in town, and that could save space and open up—”
Noel interrupted her. “We can’t have tall buildings on the island. Storm patterns and earthquake risks make it impossible. Everything we do, we do for a reason. You need to learn more about our way of life before you start suggesting that we change everything.”
Clearly, he was not over their fight. Diana flinched. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Noel ignored her and started to talk about the importance of that particular population of sea lions. Ricky started to argue with him, Kurtis backing him up. Bobby met her gaze. She opened her mouth again. He shook his head slightly. So even Bobby didn’t think she was any good here.
Diana turned away from them. Their argument only increased as she left the room. Tears burned her eyes. She was messing everything up. It had seemed like it was going so well, and now she had wrecked everything. Well. It wasn’t all her fault, but the original fights with Kurtis and Noel were her fault. With Kurtis, she had fought with him while he wasn’t fighting with her. With Noel, she had been insistent that she was right.
Ricky started to shout, and Diana flinched. She left the house, unable to stand the oppressive dark cloud hanging over it. She soon found Ruby, still in the garden, and plopped down next to her.
“What am I supposed to do when they don’t listen to each other? Or me?” They were far enough away that Diana couldn’t understand what they were saying, but their voices still carried. Diana shivered. What if the shouting turned physical?
“I messed up. I know that. And I know I have to approach each of them differently,” she continued as Ruby sat back on her heels and wiped her palms on her thighs. “I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I thought that things would get easier, not harder. After all the time I have spent here . . . This is so hard. I knew it would be, but . . . I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing. Queen. It was stupid of me to think that meant I had any real role to play.”
Ruby sighed. “Are you finished?”
Diana glared at her. “How about a little sympathy?”
“Not while you’re wallowing in self-pity. Yeah, it’s going to be tough. They are all strong, stubborn, and determined alphas. There’s a reason why things used to be settled in physical combat. Alphas aren’t known for backing down. This is also a very different arrangement for all of them.” Ruby considered her for a moment. “They’re always going to fight and argue. As much as combining the clans sounds nice in theory, they’re each going to be more focused on their own clan’s benefits. You’ll learn how to handle it.”
“I don’t want to learn how to handle it!” Diana clenched her hands. “I am not going to put myself in a situation where I have to listen to this,” she gestured to the house, “constantly. It’s not healthy. Right now, I’m not even sure if I should stay.”
Ruby’s expression turned to one of horror. “No. You can’t just give up like that. I know it’s hard, but things have gotten better since you’ve arrived. I mean, look what you did for the Flatlands.”
“I alienated Kurtis in doing so.”
“So, you’ve got a learning curve. Relationships are hard. Even the one-on-one ones . . . That was too much ‘one,’ wasn’t it?’
“I don’t care!”
Ruby frowned at her. “No need to rip off my head.”
Diana bit her tongue. The last thing she needed right now was to antagonize one of the few friends she had made on the island. Ruby was right, though. Relationships were hard. It was only to be expected that a relationship with four men who didn’t even like each other would be especially difficult.
“Bobby had the right idea about this,” she muttered. “Sex isn’t enough to make it work. We should have gotten to know one another first.”
“True . . . But sex might be able to stop this, at least.” Ruby gestured to the house. “They need something to unite them. And that’s you.”
Diana didn’t respond. She didn’t want to just be the sex toy that they used to calm down when they were fighting.
The screaming grew louder again. Her head pounded, and she needed this fight to stop. It didn’t matter how . . . She just wanted them to stop shouting. She wanted to have even a little bit of hope that this was going to work out for all of them . . . Maybe it was worth it, this time, to see if she could get them to get along in less-than-ideal circumstances . . .
“Thank you,” she murmured to Ruby, then stood. Her hands trembled as she made her way back to the house.
The shouting got louder, the alphas all trying to get themselves heard over the ruckus. She stopped in the kitchen, took a deep breath, and stripped off her clothes. If that didn’t get their attention, nothing would. Then, shivering with the worry that it might not work, she strode into the dining room.
It took a few minutes for them all to see her, but when they did, their argument died in the air. Her tense muscles relaxed a little and she let out a breath she’d been holding. “I know that I’m a newcomer,” she said awkwardly, wringing her hands. “And I’ve made mistakes since I came here. Some of them have been huge. Kurtis . . . Noel . . . I fucked up.” Swearing made her face go bright red, but it was the only word that felt strong enough for how she felt. “And Ricky, I still don’t know what you’re angry with me for, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. It feels like we’re all just falling apart, and if all we can do is fight, then what’s the point?”
Ricky looked away. Kurtis shuffled on the spot. Noel rubbed his eyes.
Bobby moved around the table and took her hands. “So, what you’re saying is that you want us all to . . . bond?”
“Well . . . yes.”
Bobby glanced at the others. “I think—"
“You’re the only one that she didn’t have something to say about.” Ricky shook his head. “Do you think that sex is going to fix all this?” He gestured to the whole group. There was something almost challenging in his expression.
Diana felt her heart plummeting but refused to allow herself to sink into despair. Her hands twisted as she shook her head. “No. I don’t. I honestly don’t.”
Ricky snorted and looked away.
“But I also know that if we just stand around fighting with each other, there is no hope of fixing things. I know that it’s going to take work, but . . . Please. Ricky. Noel. Kurtis. Bobby. Since I’ve come to the island, I have felt . . . I have felt more at peace and at home than I have ever in my life. I don’t want to give this up. I don’t want to give any of you up. I . . . Please. Please come back to me. I just need to have hope.”
Ricky shook his head. “We’re busy, Diana.”
Kurtis and Noel both look
ed away as well. Bobby reached for her hand, but she tore it away. Tears burned her eyes no matter how hard she tried to stop herself from crying. So that was going to be it, was it? Without a word, she left them again. It wasn’t that they didn’t want sex. She could understand that, given everything that had been going on, but she had poured her heart out, begging for hope . . . And they wouldn’t even give her a word of encouragement. Why was she even here?
Right. Because of her ex. Who stalked her, who put a dead dog in her apartment, who, now that she knew it was him, was no longer a threat. Well . . . she’d just have to prove to herself that she didn’t need to stay here. That she could leave whenever she wanted . . . and maybe she would.
Even if it ripped out her heart to think that she’d never see her alphas again.
Chapter Seventeen – Bobby
“So I guess not acting like idiots is off the table, then.”
Bobby didn’t care that the other alphas all glared at him. His bear snarled and snapped; he’d never felt it so bloodthirsty before. If he hadn’t been in total control of himself, he’d have shifted right there and attacked. They were acting like petulant children. Yes, Diana had messed up, but hadn’t they all at one point or another? They didn’t want to make it work. That was clear. His hands clenched as he glared at them all. “I guess that you guys were just using her for your own reasons, huh? What, hoping that she’d get pregnant with your child so you could take over the whole island like some sort of usurper?”
Noel snarled at him. “Shut up. You don’t belong here.”
“Right now? I belong here more than you do. This house was built for Diana and her mates.”
Ricky shook his head. “You have no idea what this is about.”
“I know that Diana was here, admitting that she had done wrong, asking not for forgiveness but for the chance to work things out. She was holding out her hands to you, and you ignored her.”
Kurtis snorted. “She was acting as though sex was all we needed to fix everything. She only did it to distract us from this.” He pointed at the map. “Then you can get what you want. She wasn’t listening to us about why we were doing what we were doing—”
“She literally asked you why you had to build there!” Bobby’s bear snarled and his words came out lisped from his teeth, which were starting to sharpen and lengthen. “She is trying. From where I’m standing, she’s trying far harder than any of you.”
The alphas shuffled on the spot but didn’t look at him.
“Noel, you had a fight with her, and while I understand why you were angry, you just left without a word. You disappeared for a week instead of waiting until you had calmed down and she had calmed down to explain the significance of the wedding feast. And Ricky . . . you just froze her out without her having any idea why. Are you alphas or children?”
Noel snarled. He opened his mouth to speak, but Bobby growled. Noel’s words caught in his throat and a look of surprise came over his face.
“The three of you have to think about what you really want. Because if it’s not Diana, flaws and all, then you’d damn well get out of her house and let her know so this doesn’t get even worse for her.”
Bobby turned on his heel and left without another word. Rage boiled through his blood as he headed outside and jumped on his moped. It took several hours for him to find Diana at the docks, watching as her stalker ex sped off in a boat.
“Diana?” He stepped up beside her.
“We couldn’t keep him locked up forever. He won’t be any trouble . . . and nobody’s going to believe him when he talks about an island with bear shifters on it.”
Bobby sighed. Part of him wanted to scold her for going behind their backs, but she was right. They couldn’t keep him locked up. He only hoped that this wouldn’t come back to bite them.
Diana didn’t want to go back to the communal home, so Bobby took her to his place on Black Sands territory. It was a camper van with a roof built over it, but the rest of the Black Sands clan needed proper housing more than he did. Without being a part of the established clans, they had had to build on their own. That meant doing their best to save money and use it to buy supplies needed to construct homes.
He showed her into the camper, then curled up next to her on the bed. It was narrow, hardly big enough for the two of them, but Diana relaxed into him with a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t think this through. Any of it. I was so swept up in how hot everybody was and the attention they were giving me that I didn’t consider that it wouldn’t all be diamonds and roses. Now it feels like they don’t care . . . Did I really screw up that badly? Or did I just jump off the pedestal and knock theirs over at the same time?”
“They care, but it’s different for them. They’re used to getting everything that they want, and it’s not like any of them have had real relationships.”
Diana snuggled a little closer to Bobby. Despite the situation, desire swirled in his lower belly. He nuzzled into the back of her neck, loving the lavender scent he found there. Diana sighed again and wrapped her arms around his.
“You mean besides Ricky and Kurtis?”
Bobby shrugged. “I’m not sure that the rumors that they were lovers were real or not, but when you’re an alpha, you’re expected to go wild with sex until you find the one that makes all the others fade away.”
Diana snorted. “Yeah. As though that’s possible.” She went silent for a long moment, then swallowed. He could actually hear her throat working. “So, is that what is going on with them? They’re used to having sex all the time, now they’re restraining themselves, and I’m not enough to—”
“No.” Bobby kissed the back of her head, trying to be comforting. “This doesn’t have anything to do with how sexually available you are. It’s about their personalities and not knowing how to handle a proper relationship.”
She brought one of his hands to her lips. “I don’t know if I know how to handle a proper relationship either. Maybe we should just stop trying to do this queen thing and each of you finds your own mate instead.”
“I don’t think that would work.”
“Why not? We should just cut our losses before we get hurt even more.”
Bobby was silent for a moment, considering how to continue with this conversation. It wasn’t as simple as just stating the fact. After everything that had been happening lately, it was going to be difficult for her to believe what he had to say. “Is that what you want?” he asked, his voice low.
After a moment, she shook her head. “No. I want to go back in time and stop myself from messing everything up.”
Good. There was that at least. He slid his hands down her arms, trying to give her a gentle, comforting touch. “Then you should know that breaking this up and saying that they each need to find their own mates won’t work. Even though they’re being a bunch of complete morons —”
“They’re not being morons, they have every right to be mad.”
“Hey.” Bobby’s hands briefly tightened. “They are being morons. You don’t even know what Ricky is mad about. And the others, they need to talk. And while I can’t say that it was a . . . wise decision to strip down and invite them for an orgy while we were all fighting like that—” that earned him a weak chuckle “— they had no right to act like that. Like you weren’t important to them.”
“Maybe I’m not.”
“You are. I wouldn’t be trying to convince you to be our queen otherwise . . . ” He held her a little tighter, his bear making noises of determination in his chest. He wanted to protect her from everything that could cause her to cry. And yes, part of him wanted to return to the other alphas and beat them to pulps. That wouldn’t help, though. “If I had any doubts that this could work out to be beneficial to all of us, I’d say screw ‘em and ask you to live in my palace with just me and the flies.”
Diana laughed. She turned around and wrapped her arms around him. So tightly. “At least I haven’t screwed up with you.
”
Bobby hugged her to his chest. He kissed her gently again and again. His heart burned. He knew, without a doubt, that there wasn’t anything she could do to make him turn from her. It wasn’t the right time at all, but . . . he was, without a doubt, completely and fully in love with her.
***
Diana decided to live in his camper with him until things got less complicated. He showed her around the Black Sands territory and taught her how to use his little forge. Several days passed, and none of the other alphas attempted to come see her. Bobby’s heart ached to see how sad this made Diana, but he held onto hope. They were still texting her, and that was better than nothing. She texted back, but they didn’t talk to each other on the phone. Whenever he saw them, they asked about her. And he made sure that each of them knew that she missed them.
When Noel appeared outside the camper, shoulders slumped and with an expression of dread on his face, Bobby wasn’t sure if he ought to be happy or worried. Noel squeezed the back of his neck when Diana came out to see him. Was he aware of how his muscles flexed when he did that?
“Hey.” His voice was low and gravelly. “Can we talk?”
Diana chewed on her lower lip and nodded. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Bobby wanted to follow after them, but he resisted the urge. Instead, he watched them walk through the grassy path toward the beach. He turned back to his forge and added a few more bricks of hard-packed wood chippings. It was important that they had their talk alone.
When Noel and Diana returned a couple hours later, her eyes were red and puffy but she was holding Noel’s hand. Bobby closed up the forge and walked over to meet them, his eyes on her. His bear wanted to tackle the bigger alpha for making her cry, but that would be a poor idea, considering their relative sizes. And because Diana seemed to have worked things out with him.
She saw Bobby’s worried glance and gave him a smile. “It’s okay. We just had a very long talk about ritual and tradition and that little sea lion pup.” Her lip trembled but she managed a smile. “And even if we had a place to put it, it probably would end up drowning anyway. So . . . for the wedding feast . . . ”