by T. S. Ryder
Every cell in her body felt like it froze. She had gotten so comfortable here that it felt like she was never going to leave. But what if Adam had gotten bored with her? She had never kissed anybody before. What if he had decided that her lips were nothing special, that she was nothing special, and he didn't want her anymore?
She couldn’t go back. Not to the people who had sold her for cocaine. Had Lena told him that she found her parents? Did he want to make her give him answers about them? And what did Jonas want with her? He always told her she wasn't worth the trouble she caused him. If she went back, he'd kill her. He had made it clear that he had no qualms about it. Her stomach churned.
Adam brushed her hair from her face and let his fingers trail down her neck. When he reached her collarbone, she half-hoped, half-feared that he would lower her neckline to reveal the scars Jonas left on her. She bit her lip, shivering. He withdrew.
"I told you that you were free to leave whenever you wanted," he said, his voice softer than one would expect from a man as huge as he was. "That also means you can stay for as long as you want. I am not going to make you do anything you don't want, Wanda. But—"
"There shouldn't be a but," she interrupted, shaking her head
"But," Adam continued firmly. "I would like you to tell me why you're so scared of him. Jonas will never have you again. And your parents—"
"I don't have parents."
Adam opened his mouth, but before he could continue, his cell phone rang. Wanda sighed in relief. Yes, things were progressing between them, but she wasn't ready to share that part of her past yet. Perhaps she was being silly, but if the people who were supposed to love her could abandon her… he could, too, and she wasn't going to give him her past until she knew that wasn't going to happen.
"It's my mother," the king grumbled. "She needs me to sign off on something. Feel free to take whatever books you want."
Wanda nodded stiffly. Adam hesitated, then leaned close. Like always, he kept a small space between them for her to close. How he knew to do that, she didn't know. After he was gone, she sank into a chair and hid her face in her hands. She had to tell him – wanted to tell him. About her parents, and everything she knew about what Jonas was doing.
She just didn't know how.
***
Later that day, Wanda stretched out on her bed wearing nothing but a smile as she eagerly consumed a new story. She was so engrossed in the tale that it wasn't until Adam called her name that she realized he was just outside her door, knocking. Wanda put the book up and quickly threw on a robe before answering it.
"You missed dinner," Adam said, holding a plate of food. "Are you upset with me?"
Heat rushed to Wanda's cheeks. "No. I started reading after I took a shower and… well, I got distracted."
"Good. Or, perhaps, not good. You might be upset with me soon. We need to talk." His gaze traveled down her body and he frowned. "Perhaps you should dress first."
Wanda had a feeling she knew what he wanted to talk about and shook her head. If she needed an escape, saying she had to dress would make a good excuse. What she hadn't expected was Adam to just step into her room and close the door behind himself.
Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, narrowing her eyes at him. "You're being very rude."
"I need to know what Jonas did to make you fear him so much. And what your parents did. Mother told me that you looked like you were about the faint when she told you she tracked them down. You need to tell me the truth, Wanda. They didn't abandon you to the streets when you were a child, did they?"
"It's none of your business."
"Maybe not, but this thing with Jonas is. Wanda, if he did anything to you—"
She couldn’t talk about this, not right now. Desperate to make him stop asking her about this, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Adam started, and Wanda maintained her advantage. She made full body contact with him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Adam gripped her tightly, kissing her back. He lifted her from the ground and carried her swiftly to the bed. When he set her down, Wanda reached for the tie on her robe.
Adam caught her wrists, stopping her. He shook his head, eyes twinkling. "I wasn't born yesterday, my dear. I know when someone is trying to change the subject. Why don't you dress?"
She scowled. "If you can't handle me being naked, then leave."
The vampire shrugged. He picked her up again, cradling her in one arm, and threw back the blankets. He slid in with her and Wanda grinned. Maybe her plan was working after all. But he didn't kiss her again, only put his arms around her and drew her in close with her head on his chest. His skin was cool but not cold, and the soft thump of a heartbeat came from inside.
"You have a heartbeat?"
"Yes. All vampires do. Well, at least this type of vampire. There are different types… Like dogs. I'd be a St. Bernard, but there are pit bulls, Pomeranians, hellhounds… all kinds."
Maybe this could be her distraction. "How many kinds?"
"Many." He was silent for a moment. "I was born human. My father… My father was an evil man who would hurt my mother. When I was fifteen, I killed him. But she loved him, and I don't think she ever really forgave me for it."
Wanda listened to his steady breathing, holding her own breath. She knew that Adam liked to keep things private, and her heart pounded wildly. If he was trusting her with this… Was it his way of saying that she could trust him with her own broken past?
"A vampire turned me, Christopher, and Mother all at the same time to fight his war against the crusaders for him. I… I was his best warrior. I can't remember how many people I killed in that first war, and then after the next, I said no more and killed him… There was always another war. Always more blood to shed. Christopher… he was never a soldier. He had a wife, children. He outlived them all, and his grandchildren, great-grandchildren until they wanted nothing more to do with him. And Mother? When she looks at me, all she sees is the lives I've taken."
"But if it was in the war, you had no choice."
"Maybe. Or maybe it was just the easiest thing for me to do. They say I made a deal with the devil, you know. Sometimes I think that I must have."
Wanda shivered.
Adam stroked her hair gently. "I've forgotten what it's like to be human. I forgot what it was like to be soft. I need someone who isn't afraid to put me in my place, even if I frighten them. I need someone who can stop me from becoming the devil."
His voice was heavy with emotion, and Wanda shivered again. He was bearing his soul to her, but she didn't know if she could do the same. She had spent so long fighting against any feeling or memory that made her weak. She turned her face into his chest.
"I first ran away when I was five," she blurted. "I lived on the streets for three months before the police found me and took me home. My parents made up a story about me staying with my grandmother, but they hadn't even noticed I was gone."
His hands were soft as they stroked her back, encouraging her to continue.
"The next time was when I was eleven. My mom noticed when I didn't clean the house after them. Then, when I was sixteen, I ran away again. That time Jonas found me. He took my back to my parents, and they were strung out of their heads. He promised them a steady supply of drugs if he could keep me. They agreed. I ran away from him once to go back to my parents. They sent me back."
Adam's arms trembled. She waited for him to speak, but he remained silent. Chewing her lip, Wanda looked up. The utter revulsion on his face made her flinch back from him.
"Adam?"
"I have to go," he said jerkily. "I… have to go."
He practically ran away. Wanda was left in the bed, alone, with a horrible well of emptiness rising in her. Now that he knew, he didn't want her. Nobody wanted her.
She collapsed into the pillows and burst into tears.
Chapter Seven – Adam
The custom-made punching bag that cost Adam over four thousand dollars split apart at the seams
on the fifth blow. Sand and stuffing flew into the air, spilling over the floor. The king growled, yanking the whole thing from the ceiling. Steel chains snapped like rubber bands, and he screamed when he threw it across the room. There weren't enough things in this stupid gym that he could take his anger out on without destroying. Maybe he ought to move to Africa where he could pick a fight with an elephant when he was in these moods.
Which was why everybody feared him.
Panting, Adam wiped his forehead. The sound of a clearing throat drew his attention across the room. Lena stood in the doorway, shaking her head at the mess that the gym was in. Her muscles were tense, but she didn't shy away from him when he walked to the water fountain near the door.
"Did you and Wanda have a fight?"
Adam grunted. "Why would you assume that?"
"Because when I walked by her room a little while ago, I could hear her sobbing."
Adam's heart twisted. She probably thought he was disgusted by her or something. The truth was that he had just been so angry when she told him what her parents had done. He knew he wouldn't have been able to hold it in, and didn't want that aggression to be misdirected. He could understand why she would think something else, though.
"What happened?" his mother pressed.
"She told me that her parents sold her to Jonas for drugs. I was just so angry. I couldn’t stay without exploding."
Lena sighed. "And you just walked away?"
"What else could I do?"
"Look, it was a shock and you're a… Well, you deal with things differently. But you did put your anger over her pain."
Adam flinched, despite his mother's gentle tone. He wasn't used to having to put anybody's anything over his own needs. He kicked the floor. "If I had stayed, I'd have vowed to destroy them, and that would have just scared her."
Lena nodded. "That's true. And she probably doesn't want to have to talk you down from your revenge fantasies."
"So what do I do?"
"Well, you came here to work out your anger, so that is a very good start," Lena said.
"You said I was putting my anger over her pain."
Lena smiled. "Yes, that's true, but let's do this in baby steps. You didn't want to frighten her, so that is a good thing. Are you calmer now?" At his nod, she continued. "Then you need to go back to Wanda. Hold her, let her cry. Assure her that she has worth and it's not valued in monetary terms. Tell her… tell her a few good points about her personality. Probably go with three or four, you don't want to overdo it otherwise it will feel fake."
Adam's mind reeled at all the instructions. He had faced down armies, but they hadn't been as intimidating as this. Words were not his strong suit. He said what he meant and what was on his mind, and when problems arose he dealt with them. Wanda's problems, though, weren't the kind that you could throw money at or beat into submission.
"What if she doesn't want to see me?" he asked, feeling strangely defenseless, like he had walked into a werewolf den without any protection.
"Then apologize for leaving, assure her that it wasn't because of her, and leave if she doesn't want you there." Lena embraced him. "My big, strong boy. Just let yourself be vulnerable with her."
Adam sighed. That felt like a pretty high order, but Wanda was worth it. He couldn't imagine what his life would be like without her in it. He'd go back to being the miserable person he was before, and that wasn't what he wanted out of life.
He made his way up to Wanda's room, rehearsing what he wanted to say to her over and over in his mind. There was no answer after he knocked, so he peeked in. Wanda lay on the bed, her breathing deep, her posture limp. Sleeping. With a sigh, the king slipped in. Wanda's face was tearstained and every once in a while she shuddered like she was crying in her dreams. His heart ached. How could he fix this?
"Wanda?"
She made a noise in her throat but didn't stir. Adam watched her sleep for a moment. She laid curled in on herself in a fetal position, one hand cupped behind her neck, the other grasping at the blankets. Like she was trying to protect herself. Adam felt his anger starting to rise again, but forced it back down. He reached to brush her hair from her face.
Wanda's hand shot out, slapping at him. She jerked away, screaming in a hoarse, sleepy voice. Adam jumped back, holding out his hands as her fists came at him. When she saw it was him she stopped and blinked owlishly.
"Adam?"
"Hi. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Why are you in my bedroom?" Wanda yawned and glared at him. "You come in here and watch me sleep? That's creepy."
Adam flinched. "Sorry. Do you want me to leave?"
She shook her head and flipped back the blankets. Adam approached slowly, checking if that was an invitation, and slid into the bed next to her. She cuddled up to him, fitting herself under his arm. The king sighed in relief, grateful to see that he hadn't completely ruined his relationship with her.
"I'm sorry I left earlier," he said. "I just… hearing that you were treated that way by your own family made me so angry."
Wanda shivered. "You walking away hurts more."
He flinched again, and his arms tightened around her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He paused. "I can have your parents arrested for this if you want."
"No. I'd rather see them in rehab. They don't really have their own lives – just the drugs. I might hate them for what they did, but maybe it would have been different if they were clean. I don't know. Maybe nothing would have changed it." She pressed herself closer to him. "Jonas, though… I wasn't the only girl he had."
There were more like Wanda in his clutches, terrified? Adam fought to keep himself calm. He should know about something like this! Why had nobody come forward? Why hadn't Wanda? He kept his mouth shut, though, stroking her arms gently, wanting to comfort her.
"He used us to ferry his drugs around the country. Wherever he wanted them sent, he would send one of us. We were all from the same backgrounds. Girls that nobody would miss." Her voice took on a bitter tone. "He kept us locked up unless we were on missions. I ran away so many times, but he always got me back. The last time, he bit my throat. I thought he was going to kill me, but he just bit me and let me bleed. I stopped trying to run away after that."
Adam glanced down as she pulled her collar down. The scars from teeth piercing skin were clear, a half-moon with the canines sunk in deep. He fought to keep his head level as he took them in. What else had that monster done?
"He never touched us," Wanda blurted, sensing his thoughts. "He never… molested us. Never."
"That doesn't mean that what he did do wasn't terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"I wanted to tell you what he was. But I was too afraid that you'd end up like him."
He kissed the top of her head, wanting to comfort her and having no idea how. "Everything he did is immoral and illegal. I will arrest him immediately."
Wanda's arms tightened around him. "Don't leave me. I know it's selfish and you should go right away to throw him in jail. But I don't want to be by myself. Not right now. Please?"
Adam relaxed next to her again. "I'll stay with you."
"Thank you."
He stroked her hair as they laid there in silence. His emotions were in turmoil, but they kept circling back to Wanda. He wanted –needed – to protect Wanda. Whatever else happened from here on out, he would act for her. Jonas would be arrested and he would spend the rest of his life in jail. His properties would all be seized by the crown and sold, the funds distributed to the humans he held unlawfully. And all the other vampires who knew what he was doing and stood by would join him in jail.
For the moment, though, he would stay with Wanda, making sure she was alright.
Chapter Eight – Wanda
A splash of light seeping through her curtains woke Wanda the next morning. It hit a pan on the stove, reflecting directly into her eyes. Normally she would have just rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, but this morning something rock-hard wa
s wrapped around her, keeping her from moving. She pushed herself to her elbow.
Adam still wore his usual black suit, but sometime during the night he had abandoned his jacket and tie. His dress shirt was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest, revealing a strip of hairless skin. Wanda ran her fingers over it, marveling at how soft his skin was over those hard muscles.
His eyes fluttered open and he smiled down at her. Her heart skipped a beat. He was so different than she had expected the king of the vampires to be. So different from what she expected any vampire to be. Yes, he was a hard man, but his hardness was more him trying to protect himself from his own terrible past than anything else. He was a man who had never allowed himself to love.
A man who feared love, just like her.
"Morning," he whispered, brushing her hair from her face. "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah. It feels good to have finally told the truth."
She rested her chin on his chest, considering him. When he first gave her the two thousand dollars and told her she was free to leave if that was what she wanted, she hadn't known how to believe him. Now, though, she knew he was sincere. He wouldn’t have tried to stop her. A man who proposed and then said it was fine to turn him down. Was that self-confidence, or was that a part of his fear, too?
And then it hit her. She could do anything she wanted. He had no expectations. He wasn't making her stay, he wasn't making her let him into her bed. He wasn't even asking for anything more.
She rose up, lifting herself to his lips. Adam kissed her back chastely, but she wanted more than that. With a throaty growl, she swung herself over him, straddling his hips, and kissed him harder. With a moan, he parted his lips, but before she could claim her victory, he had his tongue in her mouth. They battled for supremacy, heat flooding through her body.
A tight feeling built in her core and Wanda moved back and forth, trying to satisfy the ache building inside of her. Adam groaned, and she repeated the action. His hands clung to her hips, digging in tightly. She liked the pressure they built and liked it even more when he started rocking her back and forth in a way that had everything shooting fireworks through her blood.