by Nikki McCoy
“I just didn’t think it would hurt that much. Or be so all-consuming.”
Lucas drew his brows together. “What about your safe word?”
“My what?”
He turned his head away from Kyle, unable to hide the anger he knew was written in every contour of his face. While his previous line of work had never allowed him to have an actual relationship, he’d had his fair share of experiences in domination. He’d even been the submissive a few times to learn his own reactions and detect them in those he dominated. The first and most crucial rule to be adhered to in BDSM was to respect safe words. They drew the fine line between pleasure versus pain and abuse.
When he was able to get his violent emotions under control, he asked, “What did you mean by ‘all-consuming’?” Lucas’ heart lurched as a tear slid down Kyle’s cheek and into the corner of his mouth.
“He started controlling everything I did. Told me when to shower, eat and talk. I wasn’t allowed out of the bedroom if he had company over. Getting my job was the first time in years he’d given me permission to be outside of the house without him or Jake.”
“And where does your brother fit into all of this?” Lucas growled. At Kyle’s startled expression, he said, “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. I just… Please go on.” Kyle wouldn’t meet his eyes, but thankfully his tone was enough to convince the younger man to finish his story.
“Jake was mad the first time he saw Craig hit me, but Craig turned around and bought him a new laptop. After that, the gifts kept coming and Jake agreed to keep an eye on me whenever Craig wasn’t at home.”
“And that’s why you think you can’t leave? Because Craig will stop giving your brother a free ride?”
Kyle looked up sharply, a mixture of defiance and pain in his eyes. “Jake was the only one who cared about me when I was homeless. He took me in and sheltered me. I owe him my life.”
“And he expects you to pay him back in blood?”
Kyle slammed his half-empty bottle down on the coffee table and stood up so quickly he wobbled. Lucas jumped up after him but when he reached out a hand for support, Kyle jerked away as though singed by his touch.
“Kyle, wait. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. You have to know that what your brother’s doing is wrong. He’s a grown man capable of taking care of himself.”
“I tried to get away once!” Kyle yelled, face now wet with unbridled tears. “He dragged me back. You think he’s going to give up his car, his monthly allowance and free rent? They won’t let me go.” His small frame trembled and he wrapped his arms around his midsection as though to hold himself together. In a ragged, defeated voice, he whispered, “They’ll never let me go.”
Lucas couldn’t hold back any longer. He closed the space between them in one large stride and gathered the slight figure into his arms. There was nothing he could say to that, never having found himself in a position to offer succour to another, so he simply held on as tightly as he dared and made shushing noises. Kyle’s shoulders shook with silent sobs and Lucas felt the dampness of his sorrow as it soaked through the front of his shirt.
In a perverse way, he was glad that he’d pushed the man beyond his limit. The feel of Kyle’s slender body pressed firmly against his, soft angles enveloped in his much larger frame, was enticing. He felt his cock swell beneath his shorts until it nudged Kyle’s abdomen but couldn’t bring himself to pull away. This arousal felt different from the lust that had ignited inside him with countless past lovers. It was stronger yet undeniably tender.
After Kyle’s sobs diminished to hiccups and halting breaths, Lucas walked backwards, pulling the young man down with him as he sat on the couch. “Let me give you this chance to get away from them completely. You’d be doing me a favour.”
Red-rimmed eyes peeked up at him through tousled strands of hair. “I don’t understand.”
“If I ever found out that Craig or your brother hurt you again, I wouldn’t be able to hold back like I did last time.”
Kyle’s eyes widened in shock then narrowed. “How did you get me out of there?”
Lucas grinned evilly. “I have my wicked ways. So, will you stay here?”
The man deliberated for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. “I can’t go back to the store. Craig and Jake will look for me there.”
Lucas tucked a stray lock behind one of Kyle’s ears. It still smelt of his shampoo from when he’d washed it. Despite the gruesome task of patching Kyle’s wounds, he’d taken secret pleasure in making sure every part of him was clean.
“Everything’s already taken care of. I gave Jay permission to hire two new employees and asked him to fax me any paperwork for the next few weeks. If there’s an emergency, you can come with me so that you’re not alone. Meanwhile, you can help me set up orders from here.”
“You did all that for me?” Kyle asked in wonder.
It was Lucas’ turn to squirm. He could hardly explain the irrational desire he felt to help the man, let alone his attraction to him. “Everyone deserves a helping hand when they need it, and I doubt the store would suffer from my absence for a little while.”
“But other than stocking, I only know how to do inventory, and I know you won’t have eight hours of papers for me to sort through every day. I won’t be able to pull my weight, and—”
“Kyle.” Lucas framed his face with both hands, forcing the man to look at him. “If you really want to work, we’ll find something, but there’s no way I’ll let you strain yourself in your condition right now. You should be in the hospital. Besides, having you here is by no means an imposition on me.” He forced the next words out before he could change his mind. “But if you want me to take you back, I can do that, too.”
Kyle sniffed and twisted his hands in his lap. Lucas wasn’t sure if the other man’s hesitancy was due to him feeling like a burden or truly wanting to return to his boyfriend, but Lucas breathed a sigh of relief when Kyle shook his head.
“I don’t want to go back.”
“Good.” He looped his arms under Kyle’s knees and around his back and lifted him easily. Damn, he used to keep dogs that weighed more. His first priority would be to fatten Kyle up. There were muscles underneath that pale skin, but for the kind of work Kyle had done at the store, he must have got by on sheer determination. He just didn’t have the mass, or apparently the diet, to have enough energy to heft over fifty-pound cases five days out of the week.
Then again, Lucas supposed one could do almost anything if it meant escaping the hell that had been Kyle’s life thus far.
He carried the man back to his bedroom and tucked him under the covers once again. “I’m a light sleeper, so if you need anything else, just call for me.” Turning to leave, he was stopped by a surprisingly strong hand on his wrist.
“Please don’t go.” Deep green eyes glinted in the dim glow of the lamp on the nightstand, shadowed more with fear than by the dark bruises encircling them. Lucas eyed the empty spot on the bed beside Kyle then let his gaze wander down the man’s hidden body. He knew what lay beneath the covers—had explored every inch of it during his ministrations. He also knew that keeping his libido in check would be no small feat. It was the shimmer of trust shining through Kyle’s desperation, however, that undid him.
Pulling the covers back, he stretched his length between the sheets, leaving several inches of space between them. Without hesitation, Kyle snuggled closer, burying his face in Lucas’ neck and curling his hand under his chin. Lucas stiffened as hot breath fanned across his clavicles and warmth permeated his right side through the thin layer of the shirt Kyle was wearing. My shirt. For the first time in his life, he was experiencing what he imagined felt like intimacy…and it felt good.
Right.
The vibrations of soft snores tickled his chest less than a minute later and he willed his body to relax. Kyle was scared, that was all, and probably had nightmares. If Lucas could help keep those at bay with mere touch, then he would. The wall of solitude
he’d built around his heart since childhood was still intact…and would be long after Kyle found the strength to move on with his life.
Chapter Three
The next several days passed by at a lazy pace. Kyle had never felt more relaxed, more safe—or more confused—in his entire life. Over the course of the six months he’d worked for Lucas, he had gradually grown comfortable with looking people in the eye after being restricted from that act for so many years at Craig’s house. In the privacy of Lucas’ home, though, he often forgot that he had that freedom with the quiet man. It wasn’t that he compared his boss to his former boyfriend. It was rather that living with him felt intimate, in a way. Like a relationship.
He was also having trouble differentiating his desires from his fears. He found that he wanted to do many of the things for Lucas that he had done for Craig. When Lucas had deemed him fit enough to cook, clean and sit at the bed to help with paperwork, Kyle had found himself delighting in the praises the man would bestow upon him. They were few and often delivered in clipped, cool tones, but they made his stomach flutter and encouraged him to improve every time.
Most of them were the same chores he’d done at Craig’s house, which had also been done out of a desire to please. He soon realised he’d enjoyed doing these things for years. Maybe not the work itself, but because making another happy made him happy. Did that mean it was possible he hadn’t tried hard enough to get away from Craig because he’d secretly enjoyed the humiliation and abuse that also came with his former relationship? He hadn’t thought that he liked it, and yet he couldn’t shake the yearning to please Lucas any way he could, just as he had tried to do for Craig.
He’d seen similar cases on television shows, on those rare occasions when he’d been allowed to watch TV. He had learned to live with pain just as the victims on the shows had. They’d spoken of how, when given the chance to escape it, they preferred to stay. When asked why, they’d said it was because they loved their partner and were too afraid to live without them, but Kyle had always suspected that some of them had grown to crave the abuse.
The thought of his handsome, gentle boss hurting him the way Craig had made him sick to his stomach. He could think of much more pleasurable things for that man to do to him with his large, heavily muscled body. The question persisted, eating away at his mind until he thought he might go mad.
“Hey, kid. Get dressed. We’re going out.”
Kyle jumped at the deep baritone of Lucas’ voice from the doorway of the bedroom. If his boss were a few inches taller, he’d be in jeopardy of hitting his head on the top of the frame. A sleek, black silk shirt moulded to his broad chest, hanging free but not long enough to hide the snug fit of the black jeans that hugged his firm hips and huge thighs.
He had discovered that Lucas had a penchant for the colour black when he wore casual clothes. On anyone else it might have come across as a statement, but on his boss, it made his already mellow charisma feel even more calming. Almost soothing, in a way.
The thrill that always raced through him when he took in the man’s sexy features quickly dissipated when that word clicked in his brain.
Kid.
He’d always felt a small amount of irritation whenever Lucas called him that. He was a grown man but he was beginning to wonder if, now that Lucas was aware of his situation, that’s how his boss really saw him. After all, how many grown-ups stay in a destructive relationship because they’re too weak to get away? Of course, there were the people on those shows, but even Kyle could see that they weren’t really mature about their decisions.
“Out?”
Lucas moved into the room with that slow, purposeful gait of his. He began piling the spread of papers Kyle had been working on into one stack, repeating, “Yes. Out. I’ve been procrastinating on the grocery shopping for too long and you need some clothes.”
Kyle looked down at the triple-X large shirt he’d borrowed from Lucas and frowned. Okay, so he had been running around in nothing but the man’s T-shirts since arriving here. To his embarrassment, Lucas’ drawstring pyjama bottoms had been so long on him, he’d tripped more than walked. But he liked wearing the shirts. They smelt of musk and aftershave, and other than the nights when Kyle could guilt Lucas into sleeping beside him, it was the only constant reminder of the man that made him feel safe—far away from Craig and his brother.
They did need food, however, what with Lucas practically laying down the law that he eat three full meals a day with snacks thrown in here and there.
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “You could use my paycheque to get the groceries, and I can give you my size for a pair of pants. I’m not picky.”
Lucas paused in his actions and pierced Kyle with his intense, blue gaze. “What’s wrong, Kyle?”
“Nothing,” he replied a little too quickly. “I just want to get these orders ready for you to fax off. Store’s been getting a lot of business and I know it’s harder for you to conduct it from here.” Kyle broke contact and busied himself with the papers Lucas hadn’t grabbed yet, hoping the older man would let it go.
Lucas walked around to the side of the bed and seated himself inches away. He slowly lifted his hand to grip Kyle’s chin, forcing it up so that he had no choice but to meet the man’s eyes. “I won’t let him hurt you again. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Kyle started to throw on his façade of bravado and deny the man’s accusation of his fear, but quickly realised it was useless. He was that ‘kid’ Lucas so appropriately called him. The one who clung to his only saviour in the middle of the night when the nightmares stripped him of his manhood, reducing him to tears and tremors. The kid who was too afraid to go out into public for fear of seeing his ex around every corner.
He was fooling no one.
In one last vain attempt, he blurted out, “I have no pants to wear. Yours wouldn’t fit me, remember?”
His boss chuckled, seeing right through his ruse. “I had Jay bring over a pair of his when he came over yesterday to drop off the spreadsheets, along with some of his old tennis shoes. The jeans will still be big on you, but I have an extra belt I can carve a hole into to keep them up.”
“Jay knows I’m here?” A wave of heat flushed Kyle’s face and he tried to duck his head but Lucas held him firmly.
“Yes, but not why. That’s nobody’s business but yours and mine.”
Some of the tension eased from his muscles. It seemed as though it would be obvious that the only reason a man as gorgeous as Lucas would have him living in his house was because he was doing Kyle a favour. He was a charity case. And while that may be the truth, it still hurt his pride to know that others were aware of it as well.
“Okay, I’ll get ready.”
He expected Lucas to pull his hand back and finish organising the papers, so he was completely surprised when the man leant forwards until their lips were barely centimetres apart. Up close, he could see that the blue in Lucas’ eyes was flecked with green and grey crystals which sparkled in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the open window. Kyle smelt coffee and mint on his breath and was held mesmerised when heat whispered over his face as the man exhaled raggedly.
His heart sped until he thought it might burst from his chest as he imagined those hard lips crushing down on his, taking all that he had to give. And then they were on him. Instead of steel and pressure, they grazed along his in the lightest of touches. When Lucas slid his tongue over the seam of his mouth, Kyle’s cock twitched and he moaned, leaning in and parting his lips in silent invitation.
Lucas brought his other hand up to cup the back of Kyle’s head, holding him still and taking control of the kiss. His senses reeled as his mouth was plundered. He wanted to match Lucas stroke for stroke, to show how much he wanted this, but it felt natural to simply let the other man take possession of him. His body thrummed with excitement.
How many times had he imagined this—bending to the will of one so much stronger than he, yet out of trust and n
ot for fear of reprisal for his inadequacies.
When Lucas gave one last, languorous sweep of his tongue and pulled back, they were both panting. Kyle could see lust burning in Lucas’ eyes and wonder hit him anew at the idea that this man, this perfect specimen of masculinity, could find him attractive.
Lucas blinked then shook his head as if to clear cobwebs from it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Insecurity immediately cooled his passion and Kyle looked away once his chin was free. No, they shouldn’t have done that, because he was a kid with a future that looked as promising as a prayer cast into the wind. And Lucas was… Well, Lucas was definitely out of his league.
“It’s okay. I’ll go with you. Where are the pants Jay brought over?” He tried not to let bitterness sharpen his words, but wasn’t sure if he’d succeeded or not. Lucas got up and went to the doorway, retrieving a plastic bag from the floor outside.
“I’ll wait for you in the living room.”
The large man practically ran from the room and Kyle sighed. Funny how when he’d been living with Craig, all he’d dreamt about was being able to live his life alone, by his own rules. Now that thought stabbed through his chest with a kind of empty finality. He dressed in his borrowed sneakers and jeans, which he had to hold up as he trudged through the kitchen.
Lucas met him at the front door with a flat, black belt in one hand and a pocket knife in the other. He swiftly measured Kyle’s waist and dug a hole in the belt to fit. Lucas’ movements were smooth and methodical as he looped the belt through the straps around his waist and pulled it tight. Kneeling, his head came to Kyle’s abdomen. He bent lower to concentrate on the buckle and Kyle could feel his cock stirring again as he peered down at the bowed head so close to his groin. Fortunately, the pants were too baggy and bunched at the front for them to tent.
He followed Lucas to the car and got into the passenger’s seat. The silence between them as Lucas drove into the city wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but neither was it the easy companionship they’d enjoyed over the past several days. As they left behind the sedate, nearly identical rows of suburban houses for the flourishing streets of the clustered shopping districts, Kyle’s anxiety began to rise.