“Because you found someone way more reliable than me,” he answered with a chuckle. “How’s the baby?” He eyed her bulging belly.
“Good, good, second trimester’s a lot easier.” Mary’s expression changed. “We need to talk, right now,” she said, “There’s something you need to know, and I think I need to be the one to tell you. But you have to make me a promise.”
Jake was concerned by the tone of her voice. “What’s that?”
“Heed the message, but don’t kill the messenger. Let’s go to the medical library. It’ll be empty this time of day.”
* * * *
Mary used a key from the chain around her neck to unlock the door to the medical library. She’d guessed right—it was empty. She plopped down on the sole couch. Jake sat at the other end and angled his big body toward her. He reached down and grabbed her feet, flipping off her clogs and turning her so her feet rested in his lap. He began massaging her arches.
“Oh my God, that feels good,” breathed Mary. “Don’t tell Kenneth I let you do this. He might have to hurt you.”
Jake snorted. “Kenneth? Hurt me? He’s glad someone’s watching out for you since you never watch out for yourself. Why the hell are you still working nights? You should be off your feet and in bed with your husband.”
“Yeah, yeah, I wish. You’ll be happy to know, I’m only on nights for another month.” She hesitated for a moment. “That’s why we hired Peters.”
“Great,” Jake said, his voice dry as toast. “If I could, I’d go to days myself.”
Mary closed her eyes for a moment and let Jake work the kinks out of her tired feet and ankles. He was a good friend. They’d both grown up in the country around plain, hard-working folks. Neither of them was the type to mince words, and neither of them had a lot of patience with whining and stupidity. Mary dreaded telling him what she suspected, but more than that, she hated the thought of him being trapped in a situation that was not of his making. –She’d decided she wouldn’t stand for it.
Even though she and Jake had dated at one time, he’d become close friends with Kenneth. Jake had been a groomsman at their wedding nine months ago. Jake had introduced them in the first place. Kenneth still had a year to go in his neurosurgery residency, and then he intended to continue to work at the teaching hospital in Denver. Mary planned to stay with emergency medicine, but she hoped to cut down to part-time after the baby was born. And she didn’t want to wait more than three or four years to have a second child.
Older motherhood, it was an occupational hazard. Doctors spent so much time in school and training that it was rare for any female physician to have a baby before the age of thirty. By then, you could already be getting into fertility problems. Mary felt very lucky. She got pregnant on their honeymoon. So far, other than initial morning sickness and some lingering fatigue, Mary felt wonderful. She sighed as Jake’s hands worked their magic.
“You falling asleep on me, sweetheart?” Jake’s voice rumbled low, reminding Mary why she’d asked him to accompany her.
“Give me my feet, Jake. I can’t concentrate when you do that,” she grumbled.
He laughed and released her feet.
Mary turned to him. “Look, this is hard to tell you, so I’m just going to say it right out. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I think Janice is pregnant, and I don’t think the baby’s yours.” Mary paused a beat. “And I think she’s going to try to convince you it’s your kid.”
Jake stared at a spot on the wall just past her head.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I know perfectly well that this is none of my damn business but…well, it is my business!” Mary scolded, “You are one of my best friends, and if I hadn’t asked the ICU charge nurse to lend some extra staff that night, you never would have met Janice. I’m still not sure who made the first move.”
“I thought I did.” Jake laughed. “Maybe not.”
“Why are you laughing?” demanded Mary, irritated. “This could ruin your life. You are not going to marry her. I forbid it! I can’t even believe you two lasted almost seven months! She is so not your type!” Then Mary laughed at herself. “Listen to me, I sound like a pregnant, married, jealous ex-girlfriend.”
“I do love you, Mary,” said Jake. He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I won’t kill the messenger.”
“Then I’m going to pry. Is it possible? Could the kid be yours?”
Jake paused for only a second. “Anything’s possible, but I doubt it. You want details?”
“Yes,” she answered. “I’m a masochist.”
“I always used protection. You think Peters did?”
“You want my honest opinion?”
“Would you give me any other kind?” Jake tugged on a lock of her hair that had strayed out of her ponytail.
“Then no, I don’t think he used protection. For God’s sake, they even did it in the residents’ break room. Last I checked, we don’t stock condoms in the break room! Sorry to be so blunt,” she added.
Mary knew Jake well enough to recognize the signs of anger just below the surface. He had cared for Janice, however brief their relationship was, and the betrayal hurt him, not terribly, but it hurt just the same. It had become obvious to everyone, including Jake, that Janice was making more of the relationship than actually existed. Everyone but Janice seemed to know that the breakup was coming, and they had anticipated hurt feelings, cold shoulders, crying jags, but not a public, get-even, in-your-face sexual fling with Peters.
Jake interrupted her thoughts. “How do you know she’s pregnant?”
“Easy,” Mary said. “Not only am I the oldest of six children, not only have I recently been there and done the early pregnancy thing, I’m a doctor. She walks around with a Coke in her hand and stocks saltines in her locker. It’s pretty hard to ignore the frequent trips to the bathroom. A couple weeks ago, she didn’t realize I was already in a stall when she rushed in, puked, then cleaned up and continued her shift as if nothing was amiss. She’s putting on weight, not much, but she’s a little rounder on top. I’m not even sure a guy would notice. Well,” she added, seeing the amusement in Jake’s eyes, “he’d notice, but not for the right reasons. A woman notices.”
Jake stood up. “You need to go home,” he said.
“What are you planning to do?” Mary asked, slipping on her clogs.
“Play nice,” Jake said with an insolent grin. “Don’t worry, I don’t intend to marry her, even if the kid turns out to be mine. I’ll wait and see. I wouldn’t abandon my own child. You know me better than that.”
“I didn’t think you would.”
Jake helped Mary to her feet. “She’ll have a rough time telling her dad, you know.”
“I know.” Mary shook her head. “I don’t envy her.”
* * * *
Jake made a quick stop in the ICU to check on Devlin. She appeared quiet, the O2 mask covering most of her mouth and nose. His heart clenched as he paused a moment in her doorway, taking in the tubes and lines everywhere. She didn’t deserve this. The results of the first blood cultures had come back, and Dr. Walters had added another antibiotic. He seemed to feel that Devlin was about as stable as she was going to be for now. He said he hoped to see signs of improvement within twenty-four hours. When Dr. Walters bent over a chart, Jake knew he’d been dismissed. It wasn’t personal.
Jake’s second stop was the ICU waiting room, where he found Mike sacked out on a couch, his jacket under his head, oblivious to the Disney VHS tape playing at full volume on the TV while three young kids used the remaining furniture as trampolines.
“C’mon, bud.” Jake punched his arm. “Let’s go.”
“Uuunnn,” mumbled Mike as he cracked open his eyes and stretched.
“Time to go,” repeated Jake. “You think you can drive, or you need me to get you to the station?”
“Nah, I got it,” Mike replied. “Just give me a sec.”
“Where’s your gun?”
Mike ga
ve him a dirty look. “Locked it in the vehicle. What you think I did with it? Contrary to popular belief, I do have a brain.”
“Yeah? That’s debatable.”
Mike rose to his feet. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?”
“Long night. Just a very long night. Let’s go.”
Mike turned toward the ICU. “You check on the girl?”
Jake started walking toward the ER parking lot. “She’s holding her own.”
“You coming back to see her?”
Jake hesitated before answering. “Yeah, later. Something I gotta do first. And then I need some sleep.”
“Something involving Janice?”
“You ask too many questions.”
“I am a cop. Occupational hazard.”
“Yeah, I need to talk to Janice, and then I gotta get some sleep.”
“Good luck. You definitely need it. And call me when you come back to see the girl. If I can, I’d like to tag along.”
Jake and Mike reached the ER parking lot. The sun had risen from behind the clouds, but the daylight seemed watered down, cold and pale. Janice waited in her car just beyond the door. Jake deliberately slowed his pace. She rolled down the window as they passed.
“Hey, Jake,” she said, her voice pitched for his ears alone. “Um, I know you’re not too happy with me right now, and I’m really sorry about that. But I need to talk to you. I’d-I’d like to talk to you if that’s okay.”
Janice had a very husky voice in the morning, especially when she was tired. Even more so when they’d been at it all night long. It was something he’d found incredibly appealing when they first got together. Now, hearing that tone in her voice just made him feel disappointed. That’s the only word he could come up with. Disappointed in her, but even more disappointed in himself. He’d let things go too far with Janice. He should have ended it a lot sooner. No excuses. She’d convinced herself that he was her future. He knew it. If he was really honest with himself, he had to admit that he’d known within a couple of weeks that he was nothing of the kind. He should have ended it right then.
Jake was only twenty-four, and he had no intention of settling down for a long time. On the other hand, when you’re twenty-four, it’s hard to walk away from a beautiful, willing woman in your bed. Janice was very beautiful. She could also be funny and entertaining. Despite her normally well-heeled lifestyle, she’d even given backpacking a try once at his urging, and she did all right. It was rough on her, but she’d been a good sport. Jake didn’t think she’d ever try it again, but he appreciated the fact that she made the effort for him. Of course, she also insisted they hike back to the truck and drive forty miles into town one night for a dinner out. Janice took him to a Western store, the only clothing store open on a Saturday night in Stanley, Idaho, and bought him a button-down shirt to wear to the steak house. Jake humored her that night. But he’d never worn the shirt since, and he knew it irked her that it just sat in his closet.
Jake bent down toward the open car window.
“Sure, Janice,” he agreed, “seems like we might as well.”
He waved Mike on, and Mike continued to his patrol car without a backward glance. Jake folded his length into the passenger seat of her two-seater Mercedes coupe as she put it in gear.
“Do you mind coming for breakfast?” Janice asked, sounding a little uncertain. “I’m starved, and I know you haven’t eaten yet.”
Jake turned toward her, but Janice had put on her sunglasses and kept her eyes focused on the road ahead.
“That’s fine.”
They sat in silence for the remainder of the drive. Traffic was light, and in a little over ten minutes, they were pulling into a parking lot behind the waffle place near Jake’s apartment.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Janice said, her voice quivering slightly, “I just…I know you like this place.”
“I do.”
He got out of the car. Walking to the other side, he opened the driver’s door for Janice. She thanked him, and he nodded again, very polite. He held the door of the restaurant open for her too and spoke to the hostess about a table. Jake didn’t ask for one of his preferred tables near the front windows. He asked for a table in the back. He was hoping to give them a little more privacy, because he didn’t think either of them would be very happy with the outcome of their conversation.
“Thank you for coming,” Janice began, fiddling with her menu, “I’ve wanted to talk to you for the longest time, but I know, well, I know how angry you’ve been.”
The waitress poured them both coffee. Jake noticed that Janice set hers aside. Jake added cream to his coffee and stirred, wondering what she had planned. He decided he’d better choose his words carefully and say exactly what he meant so there would be no misunderstandings.
“I’m not angry anymore, Janice,” he told her.
She looked relieved. “Good,” she said, “I’ve been really worried. Jake, I didn’t…I mean, Jake, I wanted…”
The waitress approached, pad in hand, and asked if they wanted the usual. Jake nodded and handed her his unopened menu.
Janice said, “If you don’t mind, I think just some toast this morning, and would it be too much trouble to get some hot tea with lemon instead of the coffee, please?”
The waitress said, “Sure, honey,” as she picked up the menu next to Janice’s arm, along with the coffee cup.
“Since when do you drink tea?”
“Oh,” said Janice with a half smile, “I’ve developed a taste for it recently. Besides, I don’t want to be up all day. And you know I don’t like decaf.”
Again, Jake was very polite. “You were saying?”
“Jake, I didn’t mean that to happen. You have to know that. It didn’t mean anything to me,” Janice said, a note of quiet desperation in her voice. She reached for his hand. “I’ve told you how sorry I am, and I’ll tell you again and again until you believe me.”
Jake disengaged his hand from hers. “I believe you,” he replied, sincerity in his voice. “I believe you are sorry that it happened.”
Jake thanked the waitress as she brought the tea. Janice was silent. Jake could see tears shining in her eyes. God, this was hard. It had been bad enough breaking up with her the first time, but now he knew he’d have to make it very clear to her that things were not going back to the way they were. Ever.
Jake liked women. More to the point, he loved them. He didn’t want to hurt a woman, including Janice, but in this case, he didn’t have a choice. Regardless of the circumstances, Jake did not intend to marry her. If she was pregnant, and if by some unlikely twist of fate the child turned out to be his, he would take responsibility. Shit, he’d even raise the kid himself if she didn’t want it. Peters probably wouldn’t give a damn. Jake could feel himself grow angry as he thought about Jim Peters. He excused himself and headed to the restroom to cool off. He didn’t want to be angry with Janice. She’d got herself caught between a rock and a hard place, and while he didn’t plan to take responsibility for something he hadn’t done, he didn’t feel she deserved to be treated cruelly.
* * * *
Janice breathed a sigh of relief when Jake excused himself. She could tell that he believed that she was sorry. He said he wasn’t angry anymore. She should be feeling encouraged. Instead, she felt frightened and a little sick. Not morning sickness sick, but sick at the sudden, overwhelming realization that he honestly didn’t want her back. He didn’t care for her anymore, not in that way. Sitting at a lonely table in the back of Jake’s favorite breakfast place, it was crystal clear to Janice that she meant about as much to Jake as the waitress did, maybe less. What on earth had made her think she had a chance to win him back?
Jake returned at the same time as the waitress. The woman placed Janice’s toast in front of her, then handed Jake his big plate of extra-crispy hash browns, two eggs over easy, and whole wheat toast, along with a side of bacon. Janice couldn’t look at his breakfast. She thought she might gag at the smell a
lone.
“This was a bad idea,” she said, rising from her seat.
Jake pushed his plate away and guided her back down into her chair.
“Janice,” he said, his voice gentle, “say what you have to say. I’m listening.”
God, she wanted to cry. Why was he being so nice to her?
“I thought…I thought maybe there was a chance for us. Maybe we could work things out. Get back together. But, I know now we can’t. We can’t go back. It’s gone, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Jake answered in the same gentle voice, “it’s gone. We’re not going back.”
Janice felt her feet move all on their own, and without even realizing how she got there, she found herself standing by her car, Jake at her shoulder, helping her with her jacket.
“Get in.” He directed her into the passenger seat. She got in and handed him her keys.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Home,” Jake said, “I’m taking you home.”
“But how will you get back? How will you get to your car?”
Jake adjusted the seat and started the ignition. “Don’t worry about it.”
Chapter Three
Jake woke from an unusually deep sleep. He heard a phone ringing, but he couldn’t quite get his bearings. He didn’t know whether he was in his bunk at the station house or in his own bed. He’d been dreaming of eyes, aquamarine, flecked with gold. Large eyes, frightened eyes, and a pale face. He reached out to the side of his bed, his hand fumbling toward the noise.
“Hello?” Jake’s voice sounded harsh, even to his own ears.
“Wake up, buddy.” It was Mike, sounding inordinately cheerful.
“Fuck off,” replied Jake, and he hung up the phone, turning onto his stomach and burying his face in the pillow. The phone rang again.
“Wake up, asshole, or I’ll drag you out of bed,” demanded Mike, sounding far less cheerful.
Good, thought Jake. He couldn’t deal with cheerful today. “What time is it?”
“Nine and we gotta head back to the hospital. I think we got an ID on the kid, but Shauna says she won’t talk to her. Neither will the person who ID’d her. Your presence is requested. By the way, I’m coming with you. You need a lift? I saw your car parked at the fire station.”
Barrett, Julia Rachel - Anytime Darlin' (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 3