“A Portal!”
“What about it?”
“All these attached freighters, Belvaille itself, they have Portals in them.”
I was quiet for a long while.
“That’s stupid,” I said finally.
“Why? They can bypass the Jam.”
“You’re talking about putting a Portal in a building? That’s impossible.”
“How do you know? You said yourself you don’t know how they work.”
“I know they need ships to navigate them and I know anyone near one will get turned inside-out. You can’t even put animals in cargo holds or they’ll get killed going through a Portal. Besides, how are you going to use it, throw something from the other side?”
“You can guide them through.”
“Guide? How? Stand there by an open Portal pulling on it? You’d die. Not to mention whatever you were trying to pull.”
“You could survive it, Hank,” Rendrae said.
“Why would I want to?”
“So you could use the Portal!”
“We already have Portals.”
“But those are the Navy’s!” Rendrae yelled, his voice scrambler screeching in protest.
“Do you have any idea how much a Portal costs? There’s a reason only the central government creates them. Not even states own Portals.”
“We have corporations on this station that are wealthier than any state. Do you really think money is a problem for them?”
“No. But I think there’s no reason to have an independent Portal in a building.”
“What would they gain by having Portals they could use at any time, not controlled by the Navy?”
“Um, the ability to turn anyone who activated them inside-out?”
“Shut up with that! You could survive.”
“Okay, sure. I could survive. But I’m not using them. I’ve never been asked to use them.”
“But who here is resistant like you?”
“Wallow,” I said, after a moment.
“Wallow,” Rendrae said flatly. “You think Wallow is like you?”
“Yeah.”
“You think when you stand next to a forty-foot Therezian people are like, ‘Gee, I can’t tell which one is Hank and which one is Wallow.’”
“You asked who is resistant like me. He definitely is.”
“But to use the Portal equipment you have to operate controls. What possible controls could Wallow use? He’d smash them. He’s far too big.”
“I don’t know.”
“They’re sitting on your front steps!”
I was totally taken by surprise. But not because I agreed, because I thought it was ridiculous.
“Gandrine? Have you ever seen them? I don’t even think they have hands.”
“They’re a space-faring species the same as we are. They can fly ships and understand advanced technology.”
“They’re really, unbelievably slow.”
“That doesn’t mean they can’t use computer controls,” Rendrae said.
“They never leave my porch. I wish they did.”
“Never? You have watched them every second of every day?” Rendrae asked sarcastically.
“No, of course not. But why would the Gandrine want to use Portals created by the corporations?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“And I can’t possibly imagine the corporations will save enough money to cover the costs of construction. Not in a million years. The Navy fees are high, but they aren’t that high,” I said.
“I agree completely. So then ask yourself, why are they doing it?”
CHAPTER 38
The next day I left my autocannon in my apartment and headed out. I was acutely aware the Gandrine weren’t on my steps. Were they off using a Portal somewhere? If so, to what purpose?
On the train to Zadeck Street I had a growing pit in my stomach. I didn’t go into the corporate areas, because I wasn’t corporate. But I wasn’t exactly afraid of them.
There were two streets that did frighten me.
One was a block that no one was allowed to use. Not even the corporations. It had nothing on it except a huge metal bubble constructed by a level-ten mutant who had long since left the station. There were permanent roadblocks at either end restricting access.
The other was Zadeck Street.
It was the most posh, wealthy avenue in all of Belvaille. It comprised three blocks of absolute ritzy splendor. The best shops were there. The best restaurants. Fine hotels the truly affluent stayed in for years at a time.
Unlike the drab rest of the station, every inch of every sidewalk was decorated. There was statuary and fountains and murals.
The wealthy paraded down the street like haughty birds displaying their plumage. In a city full of criminals and scum, this street existed because of one creature: Wallow.
Wallow the Therezian ensured there was no crime on the street. Despite his vast size, he could run from one end to the other in seconds—and without even stepping on anyone.
He was one of the greatest security guards in the entire galaxy and he was somehow on our space station. No one knows the circumstances of how he came here or came to work for Zadeck. It was exceedingly odd.
Whatever gang wars went on in the station, nothing touched Zadeck’s blocks. Because nothing could touch Wallow.
Unfortunately, Wallow didn’t like me much.
I had never been able to figure out why. I was a pleasant enough person, I thought. But it didn’t seem to matter. He had taken a dislike to me and made it known.
I inched my way down Zadeck Street with sweat pouring down my spine.
I felt a gust of wind and looked over to see Wallow standing next to me, squinting down.
He looked like a relatively “normal” Colmarian, just exploded to enormous size and his face had lots of ridges and bony surfaces. His enormous hands had only three fingers and no joints, which alone had prevented the Therezian species from ever becoming advanced.
Though when you had no need of anything and were impervious to everything you weren’t required to become master inventers. Necessity had left them altogether alone.
“Hi, Wallow,” I yelled up to him.
He stood there glaring at me. He had an evil face.
All the fancy shoppers clogging the streets practically tore their tendons racing to get away from us. It was well known how much we disliked one another. Truthfully, though, they were getting away from me. Whether I disliked Wallow or not was of little importance.
I continued walking, gently.
He watched me go and after I had taken maybe a dozen steps, he took one, keeping even with me.
We continued to walk the length of the street like this. It was very disconcerting of course. I was not used to fear, but I knew full well that if he punched me, I was in for another hospital visit. If he chose to punch me twice, which he had never bothered to do, I would almost certainly die on the spot.
We came to the gilded door of Zadeck’s headquarters.
The regular bouncers had seen Wallow coming and walked clear away.
I reached out to open the door when it stopped. Wallow had blocked it with his finger. A finger I could easily bear hug.
The door was open enough that I could probably squeeze in, but I thought about what would happen if I was halfway and Wallow decided to press against the door.
I waited for Wallow to say something. But he just crouched there, finger out.
“Wallow,” I yelled, “is it alright for me to go inside?”
I smiled pleasantly.
“I’m unarmed,” I said, as if that mattered.
“Who you?” his deep voice rumbled.
Wallow did not talk much. It was frightening when he did. If any shoppers had been curiously observing the situation from a distance, they made that distance much greater on hearing Wallow speak.
“My name is Hank, Wallow,” I said. I wasn’t sure why Wallow always did this. I couldn’t figure if it wa
s his version of a joke or he was just really mean.
“Hank who?” he asked. And I think for the first time ever, I saw him smile. Because of his bone structure it looked like he was sticking out his lower jaw and exposing his teeth.
“Hank of Hank Block.”
“Your street stupid!” He said, and he jabbed his finger on the ground in front of me.
“Yes,” I agreed.
He stood up quickly, turned, and began walking down the street. People fled in all directions to clear a path, but he nimbly avoided them.
I was glad I hadn’t eaten or drank anything before I came because I would have soiled myself after that encounter.
I entered the building and was fairly dazzled.
Every surface, every crevice, was covered in some form of gleaming precious metal or bauble. It was like a thousand jewelry stores had exploded inside and splattered their contents against the walls.
A band of some sort was playing and there were dozens of rich people lounging around. Doing what, I could not tell.
What I thought was a very tall woman approached me until I heard his deep voice.
“Hey, Hank. What you doing around here?” he asked casually.
He was wearing a tall orange wig, had vast amounts of exaggerated makeup, big hoop earrings, was dressed in a long gown open at the chest which showed off his ample body hair, and he carried a painted submachine gun over his shoulder like a purse.
“What?” I stared.
“It’s me, Yimm’dus,” he said.
“Man, what are you wearing?”
“Eh, it’s the uniform here. You get used to it.”
“Why would you want to?” I asked.
“I made almost ten grand in tips last week,” he said coolly.
“Oh. I can see that, then. Is Zadeck here?”
“His office.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“I think so, yeah. She’s around a lot. She’s back there now with him I think.”
I stood up straighter. I wished I had my autocannon now. But Wallow would have crushed me if he’d seen it.
“Is she about this tall?” I asked, indicating with my hand. “And really thin?”
“Yeah, sounds about right.”
“And is she super muscular? Maybe has silver hair.”
“I don’t know how muscular she is. And her hair is blonde I think. Why you want to know?”
“Just curious. Hey, what is this place, anyway? I can’t figure out what your customers are doing.”
“Heh, I been here a year and I still haven’t figured it out,” he said.
“Anyway, can you take me to Zadeck?”
“Sure, but he might not see you. You know how he is.”
“Yeah.”
We walked along and I noticed Yimm’dus was wearing high heels.
“What do you do if you have to chase someone in those heels?” I asked.
“I’ve gotten pretty good with them.”
I gave him a nudge with my shoulder and he practically kicked me in the face he flipped over so fast and hit the ground.
I died laughing, but tried to stop when I saw how pissed Yimm’dus was. His dress was hiked to his knees.
“Hey! I have to pay for all these clothes!” He said.
I helped him to his feet and was still laughing but at a lower intensity.
“Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t know you would go flying like that.”
“Walking in heels and getting shoved in them are two different things. Why are you barefoot?”
“I can’t find anything I like. Your wig is lopsided.”
He took a moment to straighten it.
“Besides,” he began, “internal security is mostly just for show. We got Wallow outside and that’s pretty much all we need. Who’s going to try and cause trouble here?”
“Good point.”
At the office, Yimm’dus went in and I waited outside for the official word.
It was a long time coming and I browsed through my tele messages while I waited.
Finally I was given leave to enter as Yimm’dus took up his post outside the door.
Zadeck’s office was spacious and mirrored the contents of the outside rooms, though he couldn’t help having a desk, some chairs, scattered boxes, and other functional items.
Zadeck sat in a throne. Literally a throne. It looked foolish. Since it was situated behind his desk it made him look like the King of Clerks.
The man himself was thin and androgynous, with powder makeup, and a tight black dress suit. He looked at me with disdain.
There was also a woman in the room who I was much more concerned with. She was fairly short, attractive, and had long blonde hair. She stood directly across from the door instead of near Zadeck, who was far to my left. She wore a dress that covered all her body and any muscles she may or may not possess.
I stared at her the moment I came in. I couldn’t tell if it was the pale sister.
“So. Why have you come to my street, Hank?”
“Uh, so who’s this?” I asked pleasantly. “Hello,” I said to her.
The woman smiled and waved, but did not answer. Maybe her voice would signal her identity as well? But I wasn’t sure I would recognize if it was similar to the other sisters.
Zadeck kept talking about something or other but I ignored him. I was trying to prepare myself for fighting this pale sister. I had no weapons at all. If she simply wanted to run away I couldn’t dream of catching her.
While it wasn’t stated explicitly, I was fairly certain the pale sisters wanted their triplet returned intact and alive.
But I still wasn’t sure if this was her. Without the silver hair, and bikini, and pale skin, so much was different. Garm was right, anyone, with the right body tone, could resemble them.
Zadeck kept rambling self-importantly.
I walked over to the woman.
“What’s your name?” I asked, holding out my hand to shake.
“Clo,” she answered, the one syllable name not shedding tremendous light on her vocal patterns.
She took my hand in a girl handshake, just using the tips of two fingers.
I could hear Zadeck’s voice growing louder and more annoyed as no one paid him any attention. He was the kind of guy who needed to be the center of every room.
But I didn’t care about him. My interest was how I could identify this woman.
I thought for a moment.
Then I reached out my hands and basically felt her up. She was very thin, but bony. When I took hold of her arm, it was weak without any muscle tone at all.
This was not the pale sister.
She began screaming.
Yimm’dus opened the door, sticking his head in.
“Shoot him!” Zadeck yelled, pointing at me.
“Shoot Hank?” Yimm’dus questioned. “Why?”
“Because I said so! Shoot him!”
“Sorry,” I said, holding my hands in front of me as I turned to face Zadeck. “I was looking for someone. It was an honest mistake.”
The woman was still screaming.
“You! Do as you’re told!” Zadeck yelled.
Yimm’dus seemed torn, but he shrugged.
“Sorry, Hank.” He aimed his gun-purse and fired.
“Ow.” I said. “If I could ask you about your last girlfriend, Zadeck…”
The woman was screaming even more now that someone was shooting.
“Shoot him again!” Zadeck commanded.
“It’s not going to do anything,” Yimm’dus tried to explain.
But he fired anyway.
“Ow. I’ll leave in just a moment. Could you tell me where your last girlfriend might be?” I asked.
“Oh, you’ll see what happens when you leave this building!” Zadeck laughed.
Hmm. I hadn’t really thought about that. I walked over to Yimm’dus.
“Hey. Give me your gun,” I said.
“Hank,” he whispered desperately. “I can’t do that.
”
I gave him a shove and he tried to take a step backwards, twisted his ankle, and fell down.
I walked over to him and took the gun.
“Sorry,” I said.
I was in Zadeck’s office with a gun. Zadeck no longer looked as confident and the woman was still screaming.
“You can stop that, miss. And sorry for grabbing you. Zadeck, come with me.”
He hesitated. I fired the gun and hit the wall next to him.
The woman, just to prove she was capable, screamed even louder.
“Sorry,” I said to her again. “Now you can stop.”
Zadeck stepped from behind his desk and I saw he was wearing what must have been eight inch heels.
“Take those off,” I said, indicating his shoes. “Don’t you have any boots or flats?”
He walked carefully to the side of his office, keeping his eyes on me and the gun, and opened a closet. There must have been a hundred pairs of shoes inside.
“Pick something sensible for walking.”
Yimm’dus had gotten to his feet and was at a loss what to do.
Zadeck was changing shoes when I leaned out of the office to talk to Yimm’dus.
“He’s going to be pissed if you don’t sacrifice yourself trying to save him,” I whispered. “We can make a show of it if you like. Just be quick about it.”
“Thanks,” he whispered back.
“You won’t get away with this!” Yimm’dus yelled bombastically.
“Won’t I though?” I responded with equally bad acting.
Zadeck was watching and even the woman had stopped screeching.
“Zadeck doesn’t deserve your mistreatment. He is the best boss in the galaxy,” Yimm’dus said, brownnosing way too much.
He then punched me on the side of the face, hurting his hand.
“I’ll…” but I couldn’t think of any more dialogue, so I just made the motion of bringing the gun down on Yimm’dus’s skull.
But he dodged to the side.
“You’ll never get away with this!” He continued unnecessarily.
“Yes, Yimm’dus. I really need to get away now.”
I moved closer and grabbed hold of his shoulder with my left hand. I could see he was trying to resist and carry this play on further, but I outvoted him and easily pushed him to the ground.
I then hit him on the cranium with the gun.
Hard Luck Hank: Basketful of Crap Page 15