by T. S. Ryder
"What are you doing?" she cried.
"You were shot!"
Lana shook her head. "No, you were."
He glanced down at himself. Blood poured from several holes in his side. "Oh."
His head started to spin. Adrenaline ran through his blood, and he pressed his hands to his injuries. Lana's eyes were huge, face pale. Her hands trembled as she ripped off the skirt of her dress to wad into his wounds. Simon glanced around, looking to see if anybody else was shot. It didn't appear that they were. Police were pouring through the doors. Simon allowed himself to lie down.
"Don't worry," he said, brushing his fingers against her face. "I'll heal. I'm a shifter, it'll be fine."
"You shouldn't have done that. You could have been killed."
"They wanted to take your mother's ring."
She shook her head. "It's not worth your life, you silly wolf. Do you really think I'd care more about a ring than you?"
"I couldn't let them take it. I love you, Lana."
Her eyes widened.
Chapter Fifteen – Lana
After taking him to the hospital where the bullets were removed, Lana drove Simon back to his house and phoned Kari to tell her what had happened. Her sister was horrified, but Lana reassured her and told her she was going to stay with Simon just in case there was a complication. The doctor assured her that he was already well on his way to healing, but that didn't ease her worries. After he fell asleep, she finally allowed herself to think about what he said.
I love you.
It had been a long time since she had had somebody say that to her. Before the twins were born. Never in a situation like this.
She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. Simon loved her. Her heart beat faster and warmth spread through her limbs as she thought about it, but she shied away from the feelings. Kari's warning came back to her. There had been a lot going on, a lot of emotions to contend with. What if this wasn't the permanent type of love, just something born of needing stability and being afraid?
Lana turned away from where Simon slept soundly, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him she loved him too. Wanted it more than almost anything.
She sniffed and Simon rolled over. Pressing a hand to her mouth to keep quiet, Lana slipped out of the room. In the kitchen, she poured herself some apple juice and pressed the cool glass against her forehead.
"Hey." His gravelly voice made her jump. He yawned as he came into the kitchen, though his expression quickly became concerned. He crossed the space between them and gripped her free hand in his. "What's wrong?"
"You love me."
Simon's brows knit. "Is that a bad thing?"
Lana shook her head. "It's just . . . "
"Oh." Understanding crossed his face and he released her. "You don't love me. That's fine, I won't—"
"No." She shook her head hard, hating that he would think that. "That's not it at all. I do love you. I love you, Simon Wolfe. That's the problem."
The confusion deepened, and tears started to stream down her face. She didn't know if she could verbalize what she was feeling. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to get hurt. But he was worth the risk. She wanted to take a chance on him, on herself, but she had to think about the girls. If she and Simon gave this a try and it fell apart, where would it leave them? She set the juice down and hid her face in her hands, trying to work through her confusing emotions.
Simon wrapped his arms around her, kissed her forehead, and drew her to the sofa. He just held her there as she cried softly.
"Tell me what's wrong," he whispered.
"What if it doesn’t work out? What if I stop being in love with you? What if my cancer comes back and next time it kills me? I'm just afraid."
Simon's gaze softened. He stroked his hand over her short, silky hair and let out a sigh that vibrated into her. "I know. It's a scary thing, Lana, trusting someone with your heart."
"And what if you get hurt? What if . . . " she trailed off.
"If I get hurt? I won't go back to what I was, if that is what you're afraid of. No matter what, I am never going down that rabbit hole again. Not if we break up, not if the cancer returns. Never. But Lana, the chances of either of those things happening are remote. Especially your cancer coming back. Trust me, please."
Lana's tears increased as she heard the sincerity in his voice. Relief washed through her as she realized that was exactly what she was afraid of, more than anything. Doing something that would make him go back to what he had been before.
"Don't cry. Please." Simon wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb.
"I don't know why I am such a mess," she mumbled. "Even though this ball of anxiety and fear in my chest has unknotted, I can't stop crying."
She laughed, half at herself and half because she was so relieved by Simon's reassurances. There was something strong binding her and Simon together. Something that had moved past lust to actual true love. That wasn't something that would just disappear.
"If the cancer comes back and I die—"
"That won't happen."
Lana pressed her fingers to his lips. "I know that it's unlikely. Nearly zero chance. Okay, let's go with another scenario. I'm in a car crash. I get caught in another robbery and you're not there. I choke on a chicken bone. Anything. I need to know that you are going to be okay without me."
Simon kissed each fingertip individually. "I love you and I love Evie and Elaine. If, God forbid, anything happened to you or them . . . I would not spiral downward again. I promise."
Lana sniffed, trying to dry her tears.
"I want to be in your life, Lana. I want to be in the girls' lives as their father. If you need time to think about it, I can wait."
Her tears were still coming. Lana wanted to tell him she didn't need time, but the words got stuck in her throat. She couldn't think of what else to do, so she raised herself to his lips and kissed him hard.
Simon jumped, startled, but soon laughed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her tight against his body and Lana moaned. Despite the turbulent emotional situation they had just come from, heat began to swirl through her body. Her core ached and she pulled at his clothes. Her chest heaved, wanting to be close to him, needing him more than she needed to breathe. Her eyes fluttered shut as her pulse quickened. Simon deepened the kiss with a moan, his hands moving down to cup her ass.
"Lana," he breathed into her mouth. "Tell me you want me."
She drew back slightly, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. "I want you . . . Sire."
Simon's eyes widened. He laughed and shook his head. "No, not this time. I want this to be gentle and sweet, more love than lust."
Lana nodded her understanding but still frowned. "We will have times when it's pure animal lust, right? Because I liked that."
His pupils dilated. She felt his lust increase through their clothes and giggled. Her scent swirled around them as the doctor lowered his head to kiss the deep crease of cleavage shown by her dress.
"Plenty of times," he promised. "Now, let's get you out of those ruined clothes."
Lana fell back into him, working off his clothing while he tore off her own. They were already ripped and blood-stained, so she didn't care. His hands became gentle. Lips pressed against her pulse, fingers nimbly unclasping her bra. Lana's breath hitched, but she didn't protest as her breasts fell free of their confines. Simon's fingertips traced the red scar. Then, he pressed a kiss to it. Lana's fingers ran through his hair.
"It's ugly," she blurted out.
"It shows how strong you are."
His mouth drifted down. Lana shivered as it fastened around her nipple, one hand moving between her thighs. Zings of pleasure shot through her. They swirled in the pit of her stomach and spread out through her arms and legs. Her back bowed, a moan vibrated from her throat. Simon moved to the other breast and she moaned again, her grip tightening in his hair. She hadn't thought anything could be better than the wild way he took
her that first time, but the skill and gentleness he used as he focused in on his target had her rethinking that. A quick gasp and she bucked her hips, trying to increase contact.
Simon moved back to her mouth with a searing kiss that had her whimpering. Lana clung to him tighter, not wanting him to ever let her go. His breath was hot against her face as he kissed her again and again. Lana's hands moved on instinct, removing the last bits of clothing separating them. She wrapped her legs around his waist when he pulled back. He tested her readiness, then rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you," he whispered. "I want you."
"You have me," she promised. "I'm here."
He kissed her again, this time so soft she almost missed it. He entered her, making the pleasure knot tighter in her core. She clung to him, crying out, then grew still as he paused, seated deep inside. Another kiss and he started moving. His motion was slow, steady, his gaze on hers, their breathing in and out as one. Lana held him tightly, her body trembling. She matched his movements, crying out as they came together, again and again, thoughts disappearing into feeling.
He was so handsome. So beautiful. She searched his face, memorizing every feature, the warmth of love swelling in her heart. She felt like it would have to burst if their love continued to increase. Simon smiled and kissed her again.
"I love you."
The joy in his voice undid her. Her heart thudded and heat spread out to her limbs as the knot inside her came undone. Pleasure flooded her body and she clung to Simon as her body thrashed this way and that.
"I love you, too," she groaned.
Simon kissed her repeatedly everywhere and finally ended with one long, deep kiss on her mouth. He rested for a moment with her hands sliding through the sweat on his back before he rolled off her. The chilly air made her shiver and Lana curled back up against him. His hand rested lightly on her back.
"Do you think maybe I'm too old for you?"
Lana raised a brow, surprised. "Too old?"
"Well, I am much older than you."
"I don't care about that." She splayed her hand over his chest. "I'm glad you're here with me. I love you."
He buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply. "I'm glad. You are the best thing to happen to me since Katie . . . I only hope that I end up as good for you as you are for me."
Lana almost sighed. She didn't know how to tell him how good for her he really was. It was more than stability. He made her feel things – hope for things she had always insisted she didn't need. But not needing wasn't the same as not wanting . . . Now how to tell him that?
"Are you having second thoughts about me?"
Simon jumped. "You? No. I love you, Lana. I want what is best for you. I want ―"
"I want you. Doesn't that tell you something?" She arched a brow at him, waiting for a response.
Simon thought a moment, then laughed and kissed her. "You have a point. Who am I to deny you what you want?"
"Who indeed," Lana purred as she brought her leg up over his hips. "Now I am the queen."
Chapter Sixteen – Simon
One Year Later
The day at the office had been hard. Clint had called in 'sick.' From the sound of his voice, Simon knew that he was laid up in bed with his wife. They were trying for another baby. As happy as he was for the two of them, Clint's absence made the workload increase. Simon hadn't realized just how much he relied on his friend.
He rolled his shoulders as he parked his car in the three-car garage. After some discussion, it was agreed that he would give up his place and move in with Lana at her mansion. It was the girls' home and bigger than his own place, anyway.
When he stepped into the house, he froze. Even though they had done a good job at stripping away everything that wasn't necessary, the place was a disaster. Toilet paper streamed everywhere, chocolatey handprints were on the walls and carpet, and the front banister that Simon had just replaced that morning was completely chewed through.
He sighed. "Lana? Evie? Elaine?"
A series of thumps down the stairs heralded the twins' approach. The girls made a flying leap off the final step and wrapped their arms around his waist.
"Daddy!" Evie shouted. "You're home!"
Simon picked her up while Elaine scrambled up to his back. "Where's Mommy?"
"She's washing the kitchen," Elaine told him with a giggle. "Evie spilled milk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall over!"
"At least I didn't pee in the bathtub again."
Before they could really start arguing, Lana came into the room. Her golden hair was wound into a messy bun at the back of her head and her skin had a healthy glow to it. She looked somewhat tired, but she still beamed at him and kissed him.
"How was work?"
"Crazy. Not as crazy as it was here, apparently."
Lana sighed as she looked at the mess. "I think they need to go for a run."
"Aunt Kari brought a present," Evie said. "Mommy, where is the present?"
"I've got it here." Lana handed him a box.
Simon's brow pulled as he opened the box. As he did so, the scent of cedar wafted up. Inside the box was a green-tinted soap, shaped like a wolf. Simon smiled as he picked it up. It was carved with fine detail, translucent. Clearly, a lot of time had been spent on it. Lana's sister was finally accepting him.
"Girls, I need you two to go upstairs and get ready for a run," Simon told them, letting both girls slide to the floor.
There had been something else that had been bothering him all day and he needed to ask Lana about it. He didn't want to bring it up in front of the girls, though. Now that they were four years old, they were much more observant. He waited until they had charged up the stairs, now arguing about where they were going. He took Lana's hands in his.
"Sorry I wasn't able to call. It was crazy today. How was your appointment?" His heart thudded against his chest, waiting for the answer. He had hardly been able to get to the bathroom as they were so slammed with work. He had been tempted to hole up in his office to call her, but, unfortunately, there were just too many patients waiting for him.
Lana stretched to her toes and pressed another kiss to his mouth. "It was good. There's no sign of cancer. One year down. Everything is really good. White blood cell counts, muscle tone, recovery, everything."
Simon wrapped his arms around her and swung her in a circle. A laugh bubbled up in Lana's throat, making him grin even wider. Her green eyes flared in delight and he couldn't stop himself from kissing her again. Lana lifted her legs around his waist. He grasped her hips, backing her against the wall, and kissed a little harder while keeping an ear out for any sound of the girls coming back down the stairs.
When the first thumps sounded, he set her back down. Her cheeks were flushed and lips were swollen. He wanted to lift her over his shoulders and run to their room, but there was no time for it right now. He never thought that he would ever find love again after Katie, but here he was. A beautiful woman who loved him and two darling girls full of life and energy. What more could he ask for?
"Elaine won't put on her hat," Evie shouted down from upstairs. "Not even if it rains!"
Simon glanced outside at the bright, sunny day.
"She doesn't have to, sweetie," Lana called. She shared a look with Simon that had him laughing. The twins could be quite particular at times. "You should probably take off your suit jacket so you can be ready when they come back down."
Given how impatient their little girls got when things weren't done exactly when they expected, Simon had to agree. They were going to have to learn how to handle such situations, of course, but today wasn't a day where he wanted to argue with them about anything. It was too important, too special. He smiled nervously at Lana as he pulled off his jacket.
Lana bent down and picked something up from the floor. "What's this?"
Simon looked at what she held, and his hand immediately went to his pocket. It was empty. He reached for the nondescript box, but Lana opened it before he co
uld stop her. Her eyes widened and she dropped it. Simon caught it before it could fall again. The diamond ring nestled inside had hardly shifted. He smiled sheepishly as Lana pressed both of her hands to her mouth and looked up at him with a stunned, awed expression.
"I was going to get the girls to help me ask you when we got home from the cemetery," he said, ducking his head. "You weren't supposed to find out like this. I had everything planned, I wanted to involve the girls and—"
"You're going to propose?"
Simon gave her another smile. "Yeah. But since you've already seen the ring, it's not going to be a surprise like I planned. I'm sorry, Lana. I wanted it to be a special story that we could tell everybody about—"
She caught his face and kissed him deeply. Her tongue swept across his lips, causing him to groan. Simon gripped her hips and pulled her closer as fire built in his core. He loved the effect she had on him. It was something that he would never tire of. His arms snaked around her waist as he pulled her closer, grinding himself briefly against her. With a gasp, she pulled away. Her head turned towards the stairs.
"Sorry," she said. "I thought I heard the girls."
Simon slanted his lips across hers again. "Speaking of which . . . what do you say we just plop them in front of the TV for an hour so we can go upstairs?"
A pink flush rose in Lana's cheeks. She swatted his arm. "You brat."
"If you don't want to—"
"You know very well that I want nothing more." She let out a heavy sigh. "Ugh. I wish we could. But I have a house to clean and you were taking the girls for a run. They need to burn off energy, I can only imagine what sort of mischief they'd get into in an hour."
Simon glanced around. "The house isn't that bad. If you want to come with us, I'll help you clean up when we get back."
Lana kissed him again. "That's sweet. But in case you've forgotten, I don't have four legs. I can't run like you. Besides, you planned this for you and the girls. I've already visited Katie's grave. I think it's time you tell the girls about her, and I think it would mean more if it were coming from you."