by T. S. Ryder
“Sure! I need dinner.”
Thea met her an hour later at their usual pizza spot. She forced herself to eat, and drank water instead of soda. She would have to start making changes if she was going to have a healthy baby.
Elise slid into place across from her. “You do not look good, hon.”
“I know.” She let her cheek sit in her hand. “I have to tell you something. It’s been eating me up for weeks, but I didn’t know if I should tell you or not.”
“Is this why you’ve been bumming so much lately?”
“You noticed?”
“Of course I noticed.” Elise rolled her eyes. “I’ve only known you forever, you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re getting depressed? I’ve been waiting for you to tell me. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“You’ll see why when I tell you.”
“Okay.” Elise leaned forward and put her hand over Thea’s. “What is it?”
“Remember that night we all went to that party on Fifth?”
Elise smiled. “The night I met Paul?”
Thea nodded. “Did you know Logan and Sophia broke up that night?”
“Yeah, then he realized he made a huge mistake and begged her to take him back.”
“Well, right after he broke up with her, he came to my room.”
Elise pulled her eyebrows together. “Why?”
“We slept together.”
Elise stared at her for a minute. “You slept with Logan? My brother Logan?”
Thea nodded slowly.
Elise pulled her hand back and gave her a disgusted look. “Why?”
“I’ve had feelings for him for a long time,” she muttered, looking down at her half-eaten slice. “We’d been flirting that night like we always do, but a little more, I guess. He said he’d had feelings for me for years, too. He even said…”
“What?” Elise asked sharply. “He even said what? He loved you?”
Thea raised her shoulders.
“Ugh. Thea! Have you not been paying attention? My brother isn’t exactly the greatest guy when it comes to relationships. I love him to death, don’t get me wrong, but have you seen how he treats women?”
“What do you mean?” She’d never seen him do anything wrong.
“You don’t think breaking up with someone, going to sleep with someone else, then begging to get back together is an asshole thing to do? He’s cheated on girls. He’s left them at parties alone. He’s dated more than one without telling either. He’s slept with so many women, I can’t even count. Thea. He’s the typical asshole bad boy.”
“What are you talking about? Aside from the Sophia thing, when did he do all that?”
“Oh, let’s see.” Elise ticked off the years on her fingers. “Back in high school, remember Ashley?”
Thea nodded.
“Cheated on her twice. Then, he dated Nicole and Leslie, though no one knew about Leslie. Remember that huge party at the end of his senior year that we snuck into?”
She nodded again.
“Well, he took that girl Sarah as a date. And left with Jenna. And didn’t bother to tell Sarah. She was stuck there. She ended up calling her parents, who later called and let my parents have it for raising such an inconsiderate son.”
As she went through incident after incident, Thea remembered them all. The ones she knew about, at least. Some only Elise had known about, but she was right. Thea hadn’t seen any of this in a bad light. She knew Logan. All these things seemed like silly mistakes.
Either he was drunk or the girl was a bitch anyway, or he was just forgetful.
Thea shook her head. “You’re making him sound so bad. He’s not that bad. He’s made a few bad decisions, maybe. But he’s a really good guy.”
Elise sat back and crossed her arms. “And that’s why he said he loves you, slept with you, and the next morning got back together with his girlfriend?”
Thea didn’t really want to admit to the love potion thing. Not like this, with Elise already so mad. And there was no way she could tell her about the baby. Not yet. If Logan reacted badly, she’d just say, “I told you so.” Then she could get rid of it if she needed to, and her best friend didn’t need to know what an idiot she was.
“So maybe he should have waited a bit after breaking up with Sophia,” Thea said. “But I think he came to me for comfort. And there has always been something deep down between us. Now he’s seeing that. And when they break up, we’ll finally be together.”
“I do not approve of this at all. You’re going to get hurt because he’s a total jerk in relationships. Be his friend. Even sleep with him on occasion if you really want to. Although, eww, why would you want to? But do not be in a relationship with him, and get over whatever feelings you have. Thea, please. Do not fall in love with him. You deserve someone so much better.”
“But he’s the one I want, Lise. And do you really think that with our history, he would do that to me?”
“Based on his history, yes. This is a horrible idea, and you’re an idiot if you date him.”
“Come on. Don’t be like this. It’s hard enough knowing I slept with him and watching him be with Sophia.”
“See!” Her voice raised to a shriek. “He’s already hurting you and you’re not even in a relationship! End this. Now.”
Thea shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. She’d been much more emotional lately. Must be from the baby. But she didn’t want to cry now, in front of Elise. Not like this.
“I thought you’d be happy your best friend and your brother were getting together,” Thea said softly.
“Well, you were wrong. Really wrong.”
Chapter Six
Thea waited another week. She hoped Logan and Sophia would break up, but they didn’t. But she needed to decide soon what she was going to do about the baby, and in order to make the best choice, she had to tell Logan.
“I know things have been weird between us, but I really need to talk to you,” she texted him.
After hours, he answered back, “Okay.”
“When? Where?”
“I’m home. You can come here.”
“On my way.”
Her stomach twisted during the whole walk. She’d thought of a few ways to tell him, but they all sounded horrible in her mind. She knocked on the door and took several deep breaths. Logan pulled open the door and stepped aside to let her in. He didn’t smile or seem happy to see her.
They walked up the stairs to his room and she followed. He sat on his bed and watched her pace across his room.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“Good.”
“And Sophia?”
“She’s good.”
This was going nowhere. She threw out her original plans. “So, we haven’t really talked since that night we slept together, and you’ve made it clear that you think it was a mistake.”
She paused to look at him. He didn’t give any sign of agreement or disagreement.
“But the thing is,” she said, “Umm, well. Something happened that night.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Look, Thea, I know I almost said I love you and everything, and I acted like a total dick after. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I just don’t have feelings for you that are that strong. I do care about you, though. I’m sorry for how it all went down.”
“Okay. Well, the thing is, I sorta got pregnant that night.”
“Sorta?”
“I did. I’m pregnant.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath. “Crap.”
Her heart tightened. That was not what she had wanted him to say. “I haven’t really decided what to do yet, but I thought I should tell you first, either way.”
“Either way about what?”
“If I keep it or not.”
His gaze turned hard. “You’d really not keep it? We’ve been friends for years. I know what I just said, but geez, Thea, it’s not like we’re strangers or something. You don’t think we could handle bei
ng parents together?”
“I don’t know.” The tears she’d been holding back flowed down her cheek. “I had no idea how you’d react and when someone says they don’t really love you and regret sleeping with you, you don’t really assume that they’ll be excited about having a baby with you.”
“Well, to be honest, I don’t know that I am excited. It’s a shock. But that doesn’t mean I’d want you to have an abortion or give it up for adoption. This is our baby. If nothing else, having a baby with your best friend can’t be that bad of a thing, right?”
She lifted her shoulder and wiped her tears. “If that’s how you feel, then no, it won’t be bad. But I didn’t know what you’d want.”
He came to her and hugged her. “I feel like the biggest ass in the world. I’m sorry, Thea. I do care about you. I told you that before you told me, even. And even if I don’t love you completely, as in, being in love with you like a boyfriend should be, I do have some kind of love for you. At least the friendship kind. And that’s not nothing.”
She cried into his shoulder, a weird mixture of confusion and relief washing over her.
“Okay, here’s what I think we should do,” he said. “Let’s not do anything crazy just yet. This is a huge shock, and I need some time to wrap my head around this.”
She nodded and wiped her eyes. “I understand.”
“But promise me that, no matter what, we can keep this baby and stay friends through it?”
“Okay,” she whispered, not really sure what that would mean.
He kissed her forehead and hugged her again. “We’ll talk soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
She walked away from the house in a daze. A numbness had settled in. It hadn’t gone as bad or as good as it could have. But maybe once he got used to the idea, it would be better.
***
The next day, she got a text from Logan. “Thought through some things, and I’d like to talk it over with you. Can you come over after your classes?”
“Sure,” she’d said, then had to sit through another two hours of classes until she could go to him and find out what was going on.
As soon as her last class ended, she sent him a text to say she was on her way, then walked as quickly as she could.
When she got there, they went right up to his room, with no pause for niceties.
“Sit down,” he said.
She sat on his bed, her palms sweaty at the thought of what he might say. This could still go either way.
“Here’s the thing.” Logan paced across his bedroom like she had done the day before. “I’ve been up all night thinking about this. I know how important you are to me. I can’t imagine my life without you, you’ve been a part of it for so long. And even if we’re not totally in love with each other, it’s still my job to take care of you. And our baby.” He stopped walking and turned to her. “I broke up with Sophia. For good this time.”
“Are you sure that was a good idea?” Thea only asked because she didn’t want him to regret it later.
“I liked Sophia, but it wasn’t anything too serious. Maybe it would have grown into that, who knows, but I can’t be with her knowing you’re carrying my baby. It wouldn’t be right.”
He held out his arms to her and she went to him.
“Let’s do this,” he said. “Let’s have a baby together.”
She laughed as tears filled her eyes. “Really? You’re really, really sure? Because there’s no turning back after this.”
“I’m really, really sure.”
He leaned down and kissed her, and her heart filled with joy. This was going much better than she thought.
“This is nuts, though,” he said, when they’d finished kissing. “I can’t believe we’re going to have a baby.”
“I know. Took me a while for it to sink in.” She smiled, but something nagged at her gut. She felt like she needed to come clean now. If she didn’t tell him now and he found out later, that would be a very bad thing. This might ruin everything, but she thought it was better to get it out in the open and get it over with. “Logan, I have to tell you something. And you might be really mad about it.”
She stepped back from him to watch his reaction. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Okay. What?”
“Well, the night that we, umm, you know. I kind of…”
She twisted her hands together and looked at her feet.
“You didn’t.”
She looked up at him. He didn’t look angry, exactly. More shocked and in disbelief.
“I spiked your coffee earlier that day with a love potion.” She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for him to scream at her.
“You did.”
Instead of screaming, though, he laughed.
“You’re not mad?”
“Well, I’m a little irked that you tricked me, but I should have known. I mean, we joked about it constantly over the years. I’m actually a little impressed.”
He stroked his chin and looked off in the distance for a minute. Then he went to this bookshelf and pulled out a potions book. “That’s what I thought. Alcohol heightens the effect.” He turned the page and read more. “Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“What?”
“It only works if some feelings of warmth exist between the drinker and the maker. Well, there you go. I guess that’s saying something, isn’t it? It worked, so you know I’m not lying when I say I do care for you.”
“I never thought you were lying. And you didn’t drink very much anyway. Sophia came and you tossed most of it out.”
“Oh. Right.” He read a bit more and shut the book. “Well, there’s our solution, then.”
“What is?”
“Just feed me love potions, and I’ll take them until I’m madly in love with you.” He laughed.
“I can’t believe you’re not mad about this.”
He shrugged. “Like I said, I’m impressed. It’s a hard potion. And a little flattered, actually. You had the whole campus of guys to pick from and you picked me. Who you’ve already seen the worst parts of. My gross habits, my horrible flaws. And besides, my friends and I have a competition of who can trick who the best when it comes to potions and spells. I should have been more on guard.”
“I guess.”
“I do want to see it, though. That’s a hard potion. I never perfected it.” He kissed her again and hugged her. “It’ll be different dating a witch. I’ve never been with any sort of magic caster before. It’ll be a nice change, I think.”
“Hey, Logan, are you—” Elise opened the door and froze. “What the hell?”
Thea dropped her arms and stepped back. “Elise, don’t get mad.”
“Don’t get mad? I told you not to date my brother. Logan, what are you doing? You’re just going to end up hurting her!”
“Lise, chill, it’s not what you think,” Logan said.
“Or really? Because I think you were just kissing.”
“We were, but—”
“Then you need to stop it now!” Elise balled her hands into fists and growled in frustration.
“Please calm down,” Thea said. “Why are you getting so mad about this?”
“Why?! I told you why!” She was shouting now, and the rest of the house had to be able to hear her. “He is an ass when it comes to women. He’s going to use you and toss you aside, just like he did with Sophia. Again. Maybe you don’t care about that because he ditched her for you, but what’s going to happen when he finds someone better and ditches you for them? Then you’re going to come crying to me, and I won’t want to hear it.”
“Stop.” Logan put his hand on her shoulder. “Let us explain the whole story.”
Thea caught his eye and shook her head. She leaned close to whisper in his ear. “Don’t tell her I’m pregnant. Not yet.”
He made a face like he didn’t agree, but when he continued, he said, “We’ve been friends for a really long time.”
“That’s what she was whispering about?” El
ise demanded. “I knew that.”
“No, she just doesn’t think that I should tell you that we’re officially dating now.”
Elise stomped her foot. “No! You have to break up right now. You can’t do this.”
“You could just be happy for us,” Thea said. She could already feel the tears making her throat thick. She needed her best friend right now. And it wasn’t like Elise to be angry like this.
“Happy for you? Right, oh, okay. Sure, I’m happy that my brother will somehow manage to fuck up my best friend’s life and break her heart. That’s about as happy as I can get.”
“Geez,” Logan said. “You act like I’m the biggest scumbag in the world. Your dating history isn’t squeaky clean, either, little sis.”
“Whatever. I warned you both,” Elise said. “Don’t be kissing around me or holding hands or whatever. In fact, just don’t be around me at all.” She slammed the door shut and they heard her stomp down the hall and slam her bedroom door shut.
“That went well,” Thea said. She sat back on his bed and put her head in her hands.
“Why is she so mad over this? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I told her I slept with you and she warned me to stay away from you because of how you treat women.”
“I don’t think I’m that bad. Do you?” He stood in front of her, but all she could see were his feet.
“No. Not really. Sometimes. I don’t know. I guess I thought I was different since we’ve been friends so long?”
“You are.” He put a finger under her chin and lifted it. “You’ve always been the only girl besides my sister that I was totally comfortable around. I can say anything to you or in front of you and you won’t flinch. You already know all my friends and, like I said, my gross habits. You know me better than anyone besides Elise. This makes so much sense.”
She smiled at him and nodded. “That’s what I thought. That’s why I gave you the love potion.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t figure this out on my own sooner. But from the first time I saw you naked by accident, when you were like sixteen, I wanted you.” He sat beside her on the bed and put his arm around her. “Do you know how many times I jerked off to the thought of these huge breasts?”
He cupped her breast and kissed her, putting his hand at her back to bring her closer. Their kissing started to heat up and Thea felt herself get wet. He wasn’t on the love potion now. This was all him. And that made it feel even better.