by Quinn Loftis
“Wow,” Shelly said as she turned in a circle, taking in the stunning room.
There was a huge bed in the center of the room with four posts and gorgeous black silk fabric draped lazily around the tops and sides. The black-and-red silk sheets and comforter were covered in enough pillows to create an awesome pillow fort.
“For someone who was adamant that there be no sexy time, he sure gave us the perfect environment. Holy hellfire I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
Ra chuckled. “You’re not wrong.” His voice was dark and full of desire.
She had to be imagining it. There was no way someone who looked like him would want her. No flipping way. She was so inexperienced. He’d probably had loads of girlfriends and tons of experience. Her garden had been locked up tight and not once had a gardener come sniffing around. And she could not believe her mind had just conjured that analogy. Someone, please, set me back on fire.
“Are you all right?” Ra asked her.
She refused to look at him, afraid he’d somehow know what she’d just been thinking.
“I’m fabulous. Fantastic. Never better. Like, seriously, this is just… Wow!” Why couldn’t she shut up? She was never good at keeping her mouth closed, but this was ridiculous, even for her. “I mean, I’m in the underworld and not dead. That’s cool, right? Who gets to come to the underworld and not be screaming in horrible pain for all eternity? This girl”—she pointed to herself—“that’s who.”
Ra walked over to one of the couches, also covered in black fabric—the lord of the underworld had a thing for black—go figure. “Will you sit with me?” Ra asked in a calm, gentle way.
Shelly swung her arms at her side as she bit her lip. “Hmm-mm, sure.” She walked over and took the seat next to him but still didn’t look at him.
“Shelly,” he said. “Please look at me. I’d like to see your eyes. They’re quite lovely.”
Cue the girly sigh. After a few breaths, she did as he asked. When their eyes met, she felt herself falling deep, down into that dark gaze, and she never wanted to regain her footing. She could look into his eyes for the rest of her life and never be bored.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because then I’d have to die of embarrassment, which would suck. To live through the underworld only to die because of the ridiculous thoughts I was having about a guy.”
Ra’s lips turned up in a crooked smile. “How do you know they’re ridiculous?”
“Because I have the sudden urge to lick your lips, and that is not okay … aaaaannnd I said that out loud. Dammit!” She slapped her hand to her face. “This is why I’ve never had a boyfriend. Because I can’t keep my abnormal thoughts to myself. Way too often, they’re disturbing.” She couldn’t look at him again, not after telling him she wanted to lick his lips. Who did that? Tara would have fallen on her ass laughing. Bitch.
She felt something touching her hair and started. She turned her head and saw Ra’s hand out of the corner of her eye. He pushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he murmured.
“That’s like telling the ocean to stand still,” she said. “Not happening.”
“Would it help if I told you something I’m thinking?”
“Only if it makes you want to crawl in the deepest hole you can find and cover yourself in horse manure.”
He chuckled. “That’s pretty intense.” When she didn’t respond, she heard him sigh and settle back against the couch. “All right then. I’m not about to leave you feeling like you’re somehow defective, Shelly. But I also don’t want to scare you.”
“I’m not easily scared.”
His eyes warmed even more. “I can see that.” After a short pause, he continued. “Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted you.”
Shelly’s heart beat faster. Am I hearing things. Maybe I’m having a delusion because of my embarrassment. I must be trying to somehow lessen my shame by imagining him telling me this. Wait. I get it. I’m still unconscious. This whole thing is probably a dream.
But the dream kept speaking to her. “When I saw you lying on that table just before you woke up, I wanted to touch you. It was as if I wouldn’t be able to breathe until I knew you were real and okay. I needed to feel your skin against my own. I still do. I want to touch you and hold you. And I desire to do more than that, but I refuse to be unworthy of you. And taking anything that isn’t mine to take would make me unworthy.”
Shelly wanted to yell, “Be unworthy. Please, by all means, touch away.” But that would make her seem like a floozy. Even though when it came to Ra, she was definitely one breath away from floozy, she wanted to be worthy of him as well.
“Your confession only makes me want you more,” he continued. “It doesn’t repulse me or make me look at you any differently. I hope that one day I will have the privilege and right to lick your lips any time I want.”
Ra didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed by his confession. In fact, he looked sort of relieved, as if it had been a burden he’d been carrying, and now he was free of the heavy load.
Her breath caught, and Shelly wondered how she was supposed to be able to breathe after such a declaration. Every word that came out of his mouth dripped with a level of sincerity Shelly had never seen in a guy his age. Wait. How old was he?
“How old are you?” she blurted out.
Ra didn’t seem to be bothered by her abrupt question. “Twenty.”
“You seem quite mature for twenty.”
His eyes filled with amusement. “Do you know many twenty-year-old men?”
Okay, so that was a valid question considering she’d just made a collective statement about the whole of the twenty-year-old male population. “You’re pretty much it. And Elias, I guess … but I don’t know him, only that he has the hots for my best friend.”
“I think you will find elementalist males aren’t like human males.”
“Aren’t you human?”
He shrugged. “Yes, but we are a little more…”
“You mean like Tara?” she asked.
He nodded. “Exactly. Those of us who have been gifted with the magic of the elementals are still human, but we are much more, too.”
Shelly turned to face him. She pulled one leg up on the couch, bending it at the knee. There was a magnetic quality to Ra that made her want to get closer, but she forced herself not to climb into his lap because that would be weird. Right? She nodded. Yes, most definitely weird.
“Why are you nodding?” Ra asked.
She wanted to smack herself or kick her own ass for being a little crazy. Maybe she was more like Harley Quinn than she had admitted. “Because I often answer my own thoughts with words or motions that others won’t understand at all. It’s probably why I don’t have many friends.” She paused and then amended. “Okay, that's why I only have one friend. And I only have her because I kind of forced her to be my friend.”
Ra frowned. “I did not get the feeling that Tara was forced into your friendship. She cares deeply for you. She is very worried about you.”
“That’s just the way Tara is. She comes across as a hard ass, but inside, she’s just a squishy bear. If you tell her I said that, I might get stabby.”
He chuckled. “You are not what I expected.”
She tilted her head as she looked at him. “What do you mean?”
He seemed to think for a moment and then answered. “Any male who understands the value of a woman at his side dreams of the day when he will meet the female destined for him.” He paused, but Shelly couldn’t see the look on his face. The moment he started talking about destiny and having a woman at his side, she’d dropped her eyes.
She didn’t want to hear how she wasn’t his destiny because there was no way that she was meant for this man. He was handsome, confident, refined in a way she never would be, and important. She
was just an eighteen-year-old girl from a podunk little town in Kentucky. She had nothing to offer him. He was powerful, magical in the real sense of the word. Her gut clenched as she began to understand just how much she wasn’t worthy of him.
Shelly felt something touch her chin, and then her head was raised. Ra’s fingers forced her face up to his. But he can’t grab my eyes and make them raise, she thought.
“Little warrior,” he murmured. “Why do you keep refusing to look at me?”
Did he seriously just call her a warrior? And little? She wasn’t overweight, but she was tall. She never thought of herself as little, that was for sure.
“I want to see your eyes,” he said in a firmer tone.
And dammit-all if she didn’t react to that tone. Shelly was not going to touch that with a fifty-foot pole. There were enough odd things about her. She didn’t need to add that she was attracted to a man who ordered her around. She was freaky enough without that. She jumped when she felt his thumb run across her bottom lip. Her eyes rose to his, and a satisfied smirk settled on his handsome face.
“Tell me why you keep looking away from me.”
“Because you’re just so much,” she blurted out. Stupid, bossy tone. If he kept telling her what to do in that deep, soft, patient voice, she’d probably follow him around like a trained puppy. Shelly groaned out loud. Now she was picturing herself with a collar around her neck, complete with Ra holding an attached leash. Yep, she was nuts.
“I wish I could read your mind,” he said. “Your face is so full of expression.”
“If there ever comes a day that you can read my mind, I will have to jam a dagger in my eye so that all I can think about is the pain,” she said.
“What do you mean, ‘I’m so much’?”
She motioned to him, waving her hand up and down to indicate all of him. “You’re hella handsome. You’ve got a body that women pant over. You exude power as if it’s a second skin. You’re magical, literally. You have a compelling voice that I’m pretty sure women, and possibly some men, would pay to have you order them around.”
Ra’s eyes widened. “I don’t understand.”
She shook her head. “It’s better if you don’t try to understand anything that comes out of my mouth. You’ll either hurt or exhaust yourself.”
“I find you fascinating,” he said.
“You’d be the first.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
She shrugged. “It is what it is. When I said I’ve never had a boyfriend, I wasn’t being humble. I’ve never gone on a single date with anyone. Never held a guy's hand, never kissed a guy. Nada, nothing, zero, zilch.”
“Why is that a bad thing?” Ra asked. “Is there some value in having dated a lot? Does it somehow add to your worth as a female?”
“It makes you a desirable female,” she said without thinking.
“So, because you’ve never dated, you feel you are undesirable?”
Tears threatened to form in her eyes. Oh damn, I am not going to cry. She refused to reveal any more weaknesses to Ra. But hearing him say the words she believed to her very core—that she felt undesirable—was like dragging a razor blade across her nerves. It hurt because it was the truth. Why else would she have never been asked out by a single guy?
“Every male in your school is a fool,” Ra said with a little growl. “But I am glad they were fools. Because it means they didn’t get to know you properly. They have not had the privilege of being the one to hold your complete attention. Although…” He reached out and wrapped his hand around her wrist and ran his thumb across her pulse. “I hate that it has caused you such pain. It hurts me to know their lack of interest has caused you to doubt yourself as a woman. There is nothing wrong with you, Shelly. And I assure you, you are very, very desirable.”
Shelly didn’t know how to respond to that. She was watching his thumb caress her skin. His touch was like fire, making her whole body toasty warm. To keep from blurting that embarrassing thought out, she said, “Would you please finish what you were saying about finding the girl who is your destiny?” She didn’t know if she wanted him to continue, but she needed to get away from the topic they were on, or else she was going to become a puddle at his feet and probably beg him to hold her. Not cool.
He stared at her for a few heartbeats, seeming to decide if he was going to force more out of her or give in to her question. Finally, he spoke. “What I was trying to say was that of all the times I’ve dreamt of the woman destined for me, she wasn’t so full of life. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t you.”
Shelly felt her heart speeding up. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “You think I’m your destiny? And you believe there actually is someone destined for you?” What guy thought that? Having a soul mate, so to speak, was something girls dreamed about. She’d never heard of a guy thinking there was one woman out there created for him. But then, what did she know about guys? After the short time she’d been in Ra’s presence, she was beginning to realize that she didn’t know a darn thing about the opposite sex.
Ra nodded. “I do believe there is a woman for me. And yes … I believe it’s you.” His hand tightened a little on her wrist, and she got the distinct impression he wanted to pull her closer. Shelly wanted that, too. “Why else would I be so drawn to you when I have never felt that way about any other female I have ever come in contact with in my life?”
“I don’t know,” she said, though she wasn’t sure if he expected an answer. “How can it be me?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I’m just me,” she said, a little louder than she meant to. Her breathing became erratic. Frankly, she was scaring herself. Shelly had never felt so insecure and unsure of herself as she did at that moment. She always portrayed a girl full of confidence. She had to because the life-sucking teenage girls in her school would attack like a pack of bloodthirsty piranhas if they sensed any insecurity in her or anyone else. She had to be strong, secure, and confident at all times, even when she felt none of those things. But Ra was stripping all of those disguises away. Not on purpose. But his simple words and presence made her question everything she’d thought she knew about herself. “I’m nothing special, Ra. I’m a small-town girl with anger issues. Oh…” She held a finger in the air. “And I’m a pervert. I mean, seriously, I joke about sex like I know something about it. Of course, I know the mechanics, obviously—health class—but, I mean, I joke like I somehow have experienced it when I’ve yet to even been kissed. I am not for you because you deserve someone like you.”
“Like me?” His brow drew down deep. “Explain.”
Shelly couldn’t help but laugh. There was that bossy, sexy thing again. “Fine. I’ll explain. To put it bluntly, you need someone awesome … like you. You’re the type of person who demands people's attention without saying a word. They look to you for leadership simply because you exude a level of self-assurance few people have. I’m not sure how to explain it. But I do know I don’t have it.”
“Then I will just have to convince you otherwise,” he said matter-of-factly. “You are more than amazing, little warrior.”
“You don’t even know me,” Shelly pointed out.
“Something inside of me recognizes that you are to be mine.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but he shook his head and her mouth snapped closed.
“Don’t argue. There’s no point. We live in a world where magic is real, elemental spirits are real. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that you are my soul mate and I am yours.”
She wanted that to be true. No, she didn’t know Ra, but she had instincts. And her instincts said he was a rare individual. A guy who would love someone with everything he was. He would put her before everyone else, even himself. And she hoped with every fiber of her being that what he said was true—that she was his and he was hers.
“This is heavy.” Shelly exhaled a deep breath.
“It is,” Ra agreed
. His hand was still wrapped around her wrist, and he didn’t seem to have plans of releasing her anytime soon.
“Maybe we should get to know one another before we go declaring soul mate status and undying love,” Shelly suggested.
He smiled at her and her heart melted. Without smiling, he was something to behold. Smiling … at her … he was just … wow.
“You probably shouldn’t smile,” she said.
His smile fell. “Why?”
“Because it makes me want to do more than lick your lips and … dammit, someone should staple my lips closed.” Shelly pinched herself, hoping the pain would bring her to her senses.
“I’m not stopping you,” Ra said, his lashes dropping over his eyes as his voice lowered another octave.
No smiling and no talking. She’d have to make a list for him. Shelly fanned herself. “Is it hot in here? I mean, I realize it’s hell, but I think it’s hotter than it’s supposed to be. Do you think there’s a thermostat somewhere?”
“Shelly.” Ra laughed. “You delight me so.”
She froze, her eyes wide. “I do?”
He nodded. “You do. Very much. Will you tell me about yourself?”
“I think you should go first. My life story will take all of five minutes, and it's a snooze-fest.”
“I doubt that. You’re too feisty to have a boring life.”
She grinned. That was something she couldn’t disagree with. She was feisty, but sometimes her feistiness was merely a shield to cover up her insecurities. It worked most of the time. The only one who saw past it was Tara.
Shelly groaned and threw herself against the back of the couch. “Fine. I’m from nowhere-ville Kentucky, AKA Buffalo. I go to a high school full of bitches and pricks. Except for Tara. She’s the only one not in those categories. I’m an only child. My parents are still married and, for the most part, pretty great. They’re sickeningly in love. They make me gag frequently, and not just because they think it’s funny, but because they are truly giddy about each other. I like to read. No, I won’t tell you what kind of books. My favorite color is”—she glanced at his beautiful skin and smirked—“tan. I believe that ice cream should be served at every meal. Santa is real. And I frequently binge on Netflix. That’s me in a nutshell.”