by Robin Hobb
She smiled at him. “You don’t seem hard to get along with. ”
“I’m not, for the right people,” he agreed with her. His smile said she was one of the right people. He extended a hand toward her, palm up, an invitation perhaps. “But I have my boundaries. I know what is mine, and I know that it’s my decision whether to share it or not. And there are some things that a man just doesn’t share. In a group like this, with so many youngsters, that’s going to seem harsh or selfish sometimes. But I think it’s only sensible. Now, if I’ve hunted and been successful, and I’ve got enough for myself and some left over, then I don’t mind sharing, and I think I’ve the right to expect the same of others. But you should know I’m not the sort that will short myself for the sake of being nice to someone else. For one thing, I’ve learned it’s seldom appreciated. For another, I know that my ability to hunt is based on my strength. If I weaken myself to be a nice fellow today, perhaps all of us will go hungry tomorrow if I’m too slow or distracted to kill my quarry. So I protect my own interests today, to be in a better position to help everyone tomorrow. ”
Tats leaned across her lap to speak to Greft. She hadn’t even realized he’d been listening to him. “So,” he asked conversationally, “how do you tell the difference between today and tomorrow?”
“Beg pardon?” Greft said, sounding annoyed at the interruption. His affability evaporated.
Tats didn’t move. He was practically lying in her lap. “How do you tell when it’s today and when it’s tomorrow, in terms of sharing what you have? At what point do you say to yourself, well, I didn’t share yesterday, so I was strong and hunted and got some meat today, so I can share this meat today. Or do you just keep thinking, I better eat it all myself so that I’ll be strong again tomorrow?”
“I think you’re missing my point,” Greft said.
“Am I? Explain it again, then. ” There was challenge in Tats’s voice.
Thymara gave Tats a small nudge to get him to move. He sat up, but somehow he was closer to her. His hip pressed hers now.
“I’ll try to explain it to you. ” Greft seemed amused. “But you may not understand. You’re a lot younger than I am, and I suspect you’ve lived by a different set of rules than we have. ” He paused and glanced across the fire. Harrikin and Boxter had risen and were in a good-natured shoving match. Hands braced on each other’s shoulders, feet dug into the mud, each strained to push the other back. On the sidelines, the other keepers shouted encouragement to the combatants. Greft shook his head, seeming displeased with their lighthearted play. “Life seems different when you haven’t had to deal with people thinking that you don’t have the right to exist. When I was young, no one thought I was entitled to anything. I begged when I was small, and when I was a bit older, I fought for what I needed. And when I was old enough to provide for myself and perhaps do a bit better than that, some people assumed that they had the right to share in whatever I managed to bring down. They seemed to think I should be grateful that they allowed me anything at all, even to exist. So unless you’ve lived under rules like that, I don’t think you can understand how we feel. I see this expedition as the chance to get away from the old rules and live where I can invent rules for myself. ”
“Is your first new rule to always take care of yourself first?”
“It might be. But there, I told you that you probably couldn’t understand. Of course, to balance that, there’s something I don’t understand about you. Why don’t you explain to us why you’re going upriver? Why are you discarding your life in Trehaug to set out with a bunch of rejects and misfits like us?” Greft made his question seem almost friendly.
Across the fire ring, Boxter triumphed. Harrikin crashed to the mud and then rolled away from him. “I give in!” he cried out, to a chorus of laughter. Both came back to take seats by the fire. The laughter died down, and quiet fell as everyone became aware of Tats and Greft staring at each other.
When Tats spoke, his voice was deeper than usual. “Maybe I don’t see it that way. And maybe I didn’t have the favored life that you imagine I did. Maybe I do understand you wanting to get away from Trehaug to a place where you can change the rules to suit yourself. Maybe most of us here are thinking to do just that. But I don’t think the first rule I’ll make is ‘me first. ’ ”
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A silence fell after Tats spoke, a silence that was bigger than the three of them. The fire crackled. Mosquitoes hummed in the darkness around them. The river rushed by as it always did, and somewhere off in the distance, a creature hooted shrilly and then was still. Thymara glanced around the circle and realized that most of the dragon keepers had focused on their conversation. She suddenly felt uncomfortable and trapped sitting between Greft and Tats, as if she represented territory to be won to one side or the other. She shifted her weight slightly away from Tats and felt cooler air touch her where his body had been against hers.
Greft took a breath as if about to reply angrily. Then he sighed it slowly out. His voice was even, low, and pleasant as he said, “I was right. You don’t understand what I’m saying, because you haven’t been where I’ve been. Where we’ve all been. ” His voice rose on those last words, including all of them in on what he was trying to say to Tats. He paused and smiled at him before adding, “You’re just not like us. So I don’t think you can really understand why we’re here. Any more than I can understand why you’re here. ” He dropped his voice a notch, but his words still carried. “The Council was looking for Rain Wilders like us. The ones they’d like to be rid of. But I heard they also offered amnesty to certain others. Criminals, for example. I heard some people were offered a chance to leave Trehaug rather than face the consequences of what they had done. ”
Greft let his words hang in the night like the drifting smoke from the fire. When Tats said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” his words sounded unconvincing. “I just heard the money was good. And that they wanted people with no strong ties to Trehaug, people who could leave the city without leaving obligations behind. And that described me. ”
“Did it?” Greft asked politely.
It was Tats’s turn to look around at the others watching him. Some were merely following the conversation, but several of them were now regarding him with a curiosity bordering on suspicion. “It did,” Tats said harshly. He stood suddenly. “It does. I’ve got no ties to bind me anywhere. And the money is good. I’ve as much a right to be here as any of you. ” He turned away from them. “Gotta piss,” he muttered and stalked off into the surrounding darkness.
Thymara sat still, feeling the empty space where he had sat. Something had just happened, something bigger than the verbal sparring between the two young men. She tried to put a name to it and couldn’t. He’s shifted the balance, she thought as she glanced over at Greft. He had leaned forward and was pushing the ends of the firewood into the flames. He’s made Tats an outsider. And spoken for all of us as if he had the right to do so. Abruptly, he seemed a bit less charming than he had a few moments ago.
Greft settled back into his place in the circle. He smiled at her, but her face remained still. In the dancing firelight, other conversations were resuming as the keepers discussed their immediate concerns. They’d have to sleep soon if they were to get an early start tomorrow. Rapskal was already shaking out his blanket. Jerd stood suddenly. “I’m going for green branches. If the fire puts out enough smoke, it will keep some of the mosquitoes away. ”
“I’ll go with you,” Boxter offered, and Harrikin was already coming to his feet.
“No. Thank you,” she replied. She strode off into the darkening forest in the same direction Tats had gone.
Abruptly, Greft leaned close to Thymara. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset your beau like that. But someone had to tell him how it really is. ”
“He’s not my beau,” Thymara blurted out, shocked that Greft would think such a thing. Then she abruptly f
elt as if she had somehow betrayed Tats with that denial.
But Greft was smiling at her. “He isn’t your beau, eh? Well, well. What a surprise. ” Then, he raised one eyebrow at her and leaned closer to ask with a smirk, “Does he know that?”
“Of course he does! He knows the laws. Girls like me can’t be courted or married. We aren’t allowed to have children. So there’s no sense in having beaus. ”
Greft looked at her steadily. His eyes, blue on glowing blue, suddenly softened with sympathy. “You’ve been so well schooled in their rules, haven’t you? That’s a shame. ” He pressed his narrow lips together, shook his head, and gave a small sigh. For a time he watched the fire. Then when he looked back at her, his thin mouth stretched in a smile. He leaned closer to her, setting his hand on her thigh to speak right by her ear. His breath was warm on her ear and neck. It sent a shiver down her back. “Where we are going, we can make our own rules. Think about that. ”
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Then, smooth as a snake uncoiling, he rose and left her looking into the flames.
Day the 2nd of the Grain Moon
Year the 6th of the Independent Alliance of Traders
From Kim, Keeper of the Birds, Cassarick
To Erek, Keeper of the Birds, Bingtown and Detozi, Keeper of the Birds, Trehaug
Keeper Erek and Keeper Detozi,
When this position was given to me I was told firmly that the messenger birds were to be used only for official Council business, although Traders may be allowed to pay for the use of them for private messages. It was emphasized to me that Keepers have no special status that allows them to send messages for free. This, it seems to me, would include appending personal messages to official communications. I have no desire to report you for violating these rules, but if evidence of personal correspondence reaches me again, as it did by chance this time, I shall report you to all three Councils, and I am certain you will be liable for the expenses of all the free messages you have sent.
Respectfully,
Keeper Kim
Chapter Ten Cassarick
By the time they reached the main dock at Cassarick it was almost too dark to see. Even the mosquitoes had given up for the night. The lanterns hung on each corner of the barge illuminated little more than the preoccupied faces of the polers as they endlessly plodded past her. There was a hypnotic quality to watching their circling dance on the deck. Alise still found it amazing how easy it was for them to propel the barge upstream. When she had spoken of it to Captain Leftrin, he had grinned and said something about a very sophisticated hull design.
Alise had stayed out on the deck, well bundled against both the night chill and the insects that descended with darkness. The stars overhead had been distant and yet brilliant. Her first sight of the lights of the town had made her gasp in awe. Like Trehaug, the newer settlement of Cassarick was strung and strewn through the treetops above the river. The yellow lamplight shone from windows through a lacy network of branches. At first they looked like a scattering of stars caught in a net, but as the barge moved steadily closer, the lights grew larger and brighter.
“Won’t be long now,” Captain Leftrin told her on one of his frequent visits to her perch. “Ordinarily, we’d have stopped for the night an hour ago. But I know how anxious you are to get here and meet your dragons, so I’ve pushed my crew a bit today. I’d hoped we would dock while it was still light, but no such luck for us. So I suggest that you spend another night with us here, and make an early start of it tomorrow. ”
Sedric had come out on deck and joined them. In the dark, neither of them had noticed his soundless approach, and they both jumped when he spoke. “I do not think we are that tired. I think a bit of extra effort to find an inn that offers hot baths, soft beds, and a gentle wine with a warm meal would be worth it. ”
“You won’t find any of that here,” Captain Leftrin warned him. “Cassarick’s a young settlement yet; most of the folk who work here live here, and visitors are few. There’s little call for an inn. Oh, if we’d arrived while the sun was in the sky, we might have found a family that would give you a room for the night. But after dark, well, chances are you’d just go from door to door and find nothing. You’d have to climb a lot of steps in the dark. Or use a basket hoist, if you could find one that was manned and you were willing to pay the fee. ”
Alise nodded at his reasoning. “There’s no sense in packing up all our luggage and setting out in the dark in the hope of finding a hospitable family. One more night aboard the Tarman won’t hurt us, Sedric. In the morning, you can look for lodgings for us while I speak to the local council about the dragons. ” It seemed a solid arrangement to her. The boat was not palatial, but it was comfortable enough. The food was plain but nourishing. Captain Leftrin might be a bit rough around the edges, but his efforts at gallantry were flattering in their sincerity. She enjoyed his company even if Sedric obviously found him provincial. Several times that day Sedric had given her long-suffering glances at the captain’s extravagant compliments to her, and once he had smothered a laugh over the man’s efforts to be charming. She’d been surprised that it offended her when Sedric found the captain a cause for amusement. It seemed unkind and petty of him.
And flattering.
She tried not to dwell on that thought but could not help herself. Leftrin’s attentions to her had taken her completely by surprise. They had made her uncomfortable at first, and even suspicious. But in the last day, she had become convinced his admiration of her was sincere. She could not deny the thrill of pleasure that went through her at the thought of this rough, masculine river captain finding her attractive. He was so unlike any other man she had ever met. His company made her feel that she was truly adventurous, even reckless in undertaking this trip. At the same time, his evident strength and competence made her feel safe. She had indulged herself in his company, telling herself that it was only for a short time and that she had no intention of being unfaithful to Hest. She only wished to enjoy, for a time, that a man found her pretty.
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Then Sedric had reacted to him in a way that she could only construe as protective. It had shocked her. And stirred to new life her ancient childhood infatuation with him. Even before he had blossomed into such a gloriously handsome man, he had fascinated her. He’d paid attention to her when no other boy would have looked at her, with her wild red hair and thick freckles and flat bosom. He’d been kind. Oh, how she had dreamed of him, her best friend’s big brother, being more than kind to her. She’d twined their initials on her lesson papers, and stolen one of his riding gloves. It had smelled like him, and she both blushed and laughed to recall how she had kept it under her pillow and smelled it every evening before she went to sleep. She could not recall now what had become of it, or when she had given up her dream that someday he would turn to her and admit that he loved her, too. Was it possible that he had once cared for her? Was it remotely possible that in some corner of his heart, he still did?
Oh, it was a silly fancy, as silly as her timid flirtation with the captain. Silly and absolutely delicious. And what harm could it be for her to imagine, just for a day or so, that two such different men could find her attractive? Hest had, for years now, made her feel so dowdy and stupid and boring. In the light and warmth of the captain’s regard and Sedric’s protectiveness, she felt like a flower stirring back to life.
In her brief time on the Tarman, Alise felt her adventure had approached what she had imagined it would be. The big scow sat so low in the water that it seemed but a breath above the river; it made the trees tower all the higher above them. The birds and the strange river creatures, both dangerous and mild, were closer to her here. From the barge’s deck, she’d had glimpses of what Leftrin called marsh elk and riverpig. One large, toothy gallator had slid from his sunbathing on the mudbank to come and keep pace with the barge for a time until Skelly had given him a good rap with her pole t
hat sent him slashing back to shore. She had seen several varieties of very large water birds; Leftrin had caught her sketching them into her journal and been completely amazed at her great artistic talent. He’d persuaded her to leaf back through her days on the river so that he could exclaim over some of her other efforts. She had blushed with pleasure when he’d recognized Captain Trell from one of her sketches, and when he’d told her the Rain Wild names for some of the exotic plants she’d drawn, she’d pleased him immensely by lettering their names in under her sketches. “So pleased to have been of ser vice to such a scholar, ma’am!” he had told her, with such sincerity that she had blushed.
One insight he had given her had dismayed her. He’d sought her out as she sat in her chair on top of the deckhouse, bundled against the evening chill, with the netting of her hat pinned down against the insects. “Would you mind if I joined you briefly?” His careful formality was at odds with his rough demeanor. “It comes to me that I’ve a bit of information that you might want to know. ”
“Of course you may join me! This is your ship, isn’t it?” she replied, at once intrigued by his conspiratorial tone.
Without more ado, he’d taken a seat on the deck next to her chair, folding up with an ease that surprised her. “Well, it’s like this,” he began immediately. “The Council at Cassarick has made a plan about the dragons. The dragons have agreed to it, but for a number of reasons, the word hasn’t been spread about much. But seeing as how it’s important to you that the dragons be there for you to talk to, I’ve decided to take you in, confidential-like. The fact is, the Council is getting ready to move the dragons out of there. And the word I’ve received is that it’s to happen soon. Within the month for certain. ”
“Move them? But how? And to where? Why would they do this?” She was shocked.
“Well, as to how, the only way they can go is under their own power. By foot. And to where? That’s something I haven’t been fully told yet. Only that it’s upriver a way. The why is pretty easy; everyone in the Rain Wilds knows that the dragons have become more than nuisances at Cassarick. They’re a real danger to the workers in the buried city, and to the inhabitants. Hungry, bad tempered, and some of them aren’t too bright. Not bright enough to know they shouldn’t bite off the hand that feeds them, if you take my meaning. I don’t know how they’ve persuaded the dragons to leave, but they have. If they can get a crew together to sort of herd them along, they’ll move them out of there as soon as they can. ”