“Hmmm,” I moan against him and then push him up so I can look at him. I feel the need to explain why I rushed away today.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as he senses something.
“Nothing is wrong. Well, I’ll know Monday, but for now, I think it’s good.”
“Spill it; we can only handle one person being sneaky.”
“I had a visit with my OB/GYN this morning. Went to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. The little stick reports I’m not, but they took some blood just to make sure. I also tried to return my great idea, who would’ve thought you can’t get a refund?” I say with a shrug of my shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gone with you. You know that, right?”
“I do, but I felt like I needed to do this myself. I can promise you the panic attack would not have been pretty.”
“Tabitha, let me explain something to you. No matter how or when it happens, I couldn’t think of anyone to share a child with, other than you. I’m not going anywhere. With you, I’m home.”
“Are you trying to get lucky, Mr. Northwood?”
“Is it working?”
“Nope, I am resistant to your charming ways.”
“How about if I tickle you? Then will you give yourself to me?”
“Do not even think about it. Do it and not only will the bases be closed until I hear back from the doctor, they will stay that way for a month,” I say sternly.
“Then we need to go out for dinner.”
“Good, I’m not cooking,” I say with a smile, and Carter leans in to place a kiss on my forehead.
“What time do we need to be at your parents’ tomorrow?”
“Two, why?”
“I have something I need to do in the morning. I’ll be back before we need to go.”
“Okay. I take it you still aren’t telling me?”
“Lips are sealed like your bases.”
“Not cool, lover boy.”
“Come, I’m hungry,” he announces as he pulls me up from the bed and swats my butt to move. It only fuels me to start making a tally of his actions. Turn around is fair play.
As we reach my car, I tell him we are having Mexican. Then it dawns on me that he might not like it. I turn slightly in my seat towards Carter. “You do like Mexican, right?”
“I do, just tell me where we’re going.”
Turning back around in my seat I smile at no one in particular. I’m just thankful he likes the same things I do. I’d hate for something so small to be our deal-breaker.
Carter
Tabitha declared last night that today was her lazy day. Not understanding the meaning behind that, I was afraid to ask exactly what it meant. Of course, she figured it out quickly from the strange expression all over my face. Her words to me were simple: bed and comfy.
Sliding out of bed, I head into the bathroom as quietly as I can. After I dress, I make my way out and over to her side. Leaning down, I dish out a quick kiss and explain I’ll be back in time for us to leave.
She tried all night to get out of me what I’m doing today, but I refuse to fill her in. I need this to be a wow factor. For her to understand exactly what she means to me. The effect of my showing it to her for the first time, the expression, that’s what I need to see. Sure, I could explain it all to her, but it wouldn’t mean the same as it being done. Plus, she might try to convince me otherwise. Tabitha’s never said anything about the tattoos I have; all she ever does is run her fingers around them each night. Her simple words: “They’re your story, Carter.” That’s one more reason to love her.
My Tabby Cat doesn’t try to change me. If anything, we change together. A wise man once told me that people are like the seasons; winter, spring, summer, and fall, and if you’re lucky enough, your life will be just as they are. It didn’t make sense to me for a long time, but now I understand a little better.
In life, you change. It goes from a cold winter’s night to a hot summer’s evening. Then, you experience the blossoms of spring in a new relationship. When fall comes around, you watch the leaves fall to the ground as you mourn the one you lost.
So far, we’ve experienced the winter, and currently holding in summer and spring. That’s where I plan to stay for a long time to come, as I can’t process the fall between us. I thought I’d lost her for good once, only to realize we were in our winter phase of life.
That’s why I feel it’s important to get this done today; it’s part of my master plan.
Pulling into the shop’s parking lot, I say a silent prayer to those above that this ends up looking like I described. Yesterday, I got a referral to “Ink Spot” from my guy back home. I’ve always had custom work and nothing generic will do for this.
As I walk in, I check-in and wait for Ed to come get me. When he steps around the corner, I notice the paper in his hands. Stepping up to the counter, I give him a quick hand shake and look down. Is it what I described? No … It’s ten times better than I could have envisioned it to be. Explaining in detail and the meaning behind this piece, Ed had asked to see my other work. He said it was to get a sense of my style and the healing I’ve done.
“Wow, man, I’m ready when you are,” I say.
“Give me just a moment and I’ll come back out and get you.”
With a quick nod, he’s off around the corner. Now, if it just turns out as magnificent as it looks on paper.
Chapter Thirty
Tabitha
CARTER LEFT THIS MORNING, being his secretive self, and I have no idea what he is up to. This has become a normal thing for my man, and a part of me is excited. Instead of stalking, he comes up with little surprises. Like the condo, it’s perfect and I can’t wait to move in with him. Something fresh and us as we move into the next phase of our relationship. Angela and I talked yesterday about how fast we’ve moved, in relation to others. I know Carter is it for me. No one else will compare to him, and I sure as hell don’t want to find someone else.
In reality, if this fails, I’ll choose to be alone from now until the end of time. I knew months ago, and accepted the fact that things wouldn’t progress. Now that he is divorced, I’m free to love the man I am meant to be with.
My mother talked to me when I had hit rock bottom and said I’d know when I found the one I was meant to be with. ‘Wow’ is how I can explain that statement. What she didn’t inform me of, is how hard it would hit, and when the rug got ripped from under your feet, what it would feel like. That pain I felt while we were apart is something I hope I never have to experience again. Life was turned upside down, and now, it’s right side up.
As I piddle around the apartment this morning, waiting on Carter to return, I decide to organize. I’ve gone into each room and done a brief sweep of junk, mentally calculating what to take and what to donate. Even though Carter hasn’t said anything, I know he’s bothered by my little incident with Cory. To surprise him, I plan to have a new bedroom set delivered to our new place. My room is perfect for me, but not for us. This is the one thing I can think of to show Carter I am ready for this next step.
Just as I click the buy button on a new comforter set, I hear him walk through the front door. Raising my head up from the computer, I lock eyes with the one who has changed me completely, the one who has found the key to my heart.
“Hi lover boy,” I say as I watch him saunter towards me.
Leaning down towards my face, he stops inches from my lips. “Hi, Tabby Cat,” he whispers before giving me a welcoming kiss.
“You going to tell me what you’ve been up to?”
“Not yet sweetheart, but soon. We need to leave soon. You ready?”
“I am, just let me finish this first,” I say as I turn the computer away from him a little.
“What are you working on?”
“A surprise. You know you aren’t the only one with tricks up your sleeve.”
“Trix are for kids, Tabby Cat,” he says with a laugh as he moves down the hall towards our room. Shaking my hea
d, I go back to finish my project before he returns.
Satisfied with my purchases, I close down my laptop and go to locate my shoes.
Carter’s back is to me and right now, I’d like to toss him onto the bed. Chastising myself for my own rule on the bases being closed, I march into my closet and find my comfy flats.
A short time later, Carter and I are hand in hand on the drive to my parents’, and it feels right.
Glancing towards him I ask, “Kelly is meeting us, right?”
“She is and thanks for inviting her. I feel bad for moving her to a whole new state.”
“I’m sure she’ll fit right in. Plus, she’s taken a liking to Jessica, and we all know she needs someone.”
“What’s the deal with her and your brother?”
“Hell if I know. Remember how I said I was guarded? Well he tops it by a million times. I know Seth loves Jessica, but he’s not going to commit.”
“Why? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Simple, he loves her, but he’s not going to put his heart on the line again. I have no idea how to make him try. I know Jessica and him are perfect for each other. She fought him for years. It’s their story to create, not mine. I can only support them both, and then that’s hard. I see how much Jessica wants that next step, but I don’t know how to tell her it might not ever happen,” I say as I shrug it off.
“Complex, that’s what those two are.”
“You can say that again. On a different note, you ready for today?”
“I am … Don’t worry babe, I’m not going to get scared off by your family.”
“You say that now, but just wait.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“No, we can just be adventurous, that’s all. Mom and Dad are laid back, and it surprises most.”
“I can’t wait to meet them, Tabitha. I mean that. They love you, so that means I’ll love them back.”
“Ah … So sweet of you … Love you too, Carter. I hope you know that. I don’t say it often, but I do.”
“I know and that’s why I don’t push it. You opened not only your heart, but your home to me. Not having to say it every five minutes … it’s okay with me. Remember, I hadn’t said it in years, and when I did, I think it was because I had to say it back.”
When I hear him talk about his relationship with Bethany, I’m not sure if I will ever completely understand it. It’s something you hear or read about, not the thing you expect from the one next to you. Maybe one day he will explain it more, but now, I don’t feel the need to know. It’s almost as if we both need a clean slate, a fresh start to life.
Zoned out in my own world, I’m startled when Carter announces that we have arrived.
Plastering a smile on my face, I look over and say, “Showtime, lover boy; are you ready?”
“Let’s do this,” is his only response as he gets out of my car and heads towards the passenger side. Just as I go to open my door, he stops and gives me a stern look.
“That’s another tally on your board. I will always open the door for you, Tabitha. Let me do the small things for you.”
“Okay,” I say, knowing this is a fight I don’t plan to have, earning me a sexy smirk.
Walking into my family home, I look around to see where my parents are. I notice the front of the house is empty and give Carter a mini tour as we pass down the hallway that leads to the patio.
I reach down and grab his hand as I open the French doors and smile when my father looks up at me.
Stepping over to the small group where my parents are, I pull Carter to me so I can introduce him.
“Mom, Dad, this is Carter Northwood.”
Carter lets go of my hand and reaches towards my father’s. “Nice to meet you, sir.”
“Please don’t call me sir. If she brought you here with that smile, I think Nathan will suffice.”
“Then nice to meet you, Nathan, and you as well, Anna,” he says to my mother.
Mom’s eyes grow wide as she glances over towards me and asks, “Dear, would you mind helping me in the kitchen.”
“Sure, Mom,” I say as I look over to Carter and let him know. “I’ll be right back.”
When we walk away from the group, Mom puts her arm in mine and whispers, “Is that him?”
“That’s him,” I say.
Once in the kitchen, I know she will give me the twenty questions, and I welcome them. We haven’t been able to have the heart-to-heart, mother-daughter chat in years.
Carter
When we arrive at her parents’ house, I’m not sure what to expect. Did Tabitha explain our past to them, or mine for that matter? I haven’t been brought home for the first introductions in a while, and I have to admit, my palms are sweating.
Pleasantries are passed around and just as Tabitha walks away, her father motions for me to step aside with him.
“Son, I’m aware that my daughter’s heart was broken in the past, and I am aware once was by you. Just know I have my ways to know what’s going on with her. I need to know you aren’t going to shatter that girl’s heart again. Will you be the man she needs?”
Taking a moment before I answer, I square my shoulders and look eye to eye at the man who raised my Tabby Cat. “Yes sir, I am the man she needs, but it’s because I need her just as much. I plan to ask her to marry me, and give her the life she deserves. We might’ve come to know each other in a not so normal way, but the love grew faster than we imagined.”
“All she needs is love. You give her that, then I will be a happy father-in-law. Just to clarify, was that asking for my blessing?”
“I’ll love her every day for the rest of my life, and yes it was.”
Nathan takes his time before he responds, as if he’s trying to test me. A few minutes pass by with us in a staring contest, and then he says, “I approve, now to work on the other one.” He looks over my shoulder. I turn to see that Seth, Jessica, and Kelly have arrived.
With a pat on my shoulder, he walks away towards his son. I search the yard to see if I can find Tabitha, and I notice she’s talking with Cory. That need to claim her overcomes me and I stalk my way towards her.
Placing my arms around her waist, I lean in and say, “Missed you,” and it earns me a swat on the arm as she giggles.
I look over towards Cory and say, “Hey man, how’s it going?”
“Good … Carter, this is Meredith,” he says, pointing over towards her.
“Nice to meet you,” I say, noticing the turned up nose and have to stop and ask myself about the two of them. This will have to go into my mental bank for later.
“Come, I want to see my brother,” Tabitha says as she pulls out of my hold and heads over in their direction. The small group breaks and walks behind her. As I watch everyone, I almost feel sorry for them. Jessica and Seth are surrounded by people touching and gawking over the latest ultrasound picture.
It’s when I step closer, I notice Kelly. She has her eyes fixed on something beside me, and I turn to notice it’s Cory.
“Oh, this isn’t going to be good,” I mumble to myself. Standing beside Tabitha, I take it all in as I remind myself that this is the first family function I’ve been to in ages. My family stopped gathering years ago as the tension between us was unbearable. I wonder if they are always this chipper and together. I will have to learn to adapt to this kind of treatment.
It’s in this very moment that I have an idea. I just have to cross my fingers that it’s not too soon.
Yanking on Tabitha’s arm to get her attention, I look at her smile when she faces me. I did this once with her and I’ll do it again.
“Tabitha, I have something to not only show you, but ask you,” I say as I unbutton the top few holes of my shirt.
“Carter, what are you doing?” she says in an almost mortified voice, which gains the attention of everyone around us.
“Just listen to me for a moment,” I instruct as I get down on one knee and hear a few gasps from around us.
“Carter Northwood,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Tabitha Jean Michaelson, when I was lost and confused, I found you. Yes, it was bad timing, but the heart doesn’t understand time. All it knows is to beat a little quicker when the one you are destined to be with is near. That’s what mine does each time you walk in the room. In a world full of dark demons, you brought me a universe of light. You asked me recently why I was covered in black and I explained it was from the lack of sunshine. That sunshine is you, and I can’t live another day without you by my side. Knowing you has made me a better person; it’s made me see everything in a new way.” I stop for a moment to slide the side of my shirt open. I need for her to see the color before I move on.
“This is my new world, the one I need with you,” I stop again to whisper for her only. “I’ll show you more, later.” Still on one knee, I grab her hand and look into her eyes. “Tabitha, will you do me the honor of not only being my wife, but my lifeline. May you say yes, and never close the bases again?”
I slide the custom ring out of my pocket and place it right before her ring finger. Her hand is covering her mouth as tears slide down her face. The wait for this answer feels like the longest of my life.
Chapter Thirty-One
Tabitha
I’M LISTENING TO JESSICA explain the ultrasound to us as I feel Carter pull my arm. When I glance over, he’s undoing his shirt and kneeling down on one knee. My heart has risen up into my chest as I have no idea what he’s doing, and I ask myself, Is he doing what I really think he’s doing? I don’t have to wait very long as I listen to him pour his heart out in front of everyone around us.
The reality of it all grasps my heart into a vice when I see the ring pulled out of his pocket. It stills my breath as I take it in. Carter has had it made especially for me, no doubt. Sitting in a white gold setting, a diamond sits in the middle with a circle of pink diamonds surrounding it. It’s the side that I love, an infinity symbol circles up towards the middle. It’s the signature of our love, the symbol that each of us wears against our skin.
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