by Linda Broday
“I don’t know that I can stop this time, darlin’.” He murmured the words against her lips, trying to warn her without separating himself from her lush mouth. “I’m merely a man, not a saint.”
Leaning back from him, she touched his lips with her fingers. “Don’t talk. I choose to be your wife in every way. This time there’ll be no turning back.”
Afraid to hope she meant to keep her word, Duel didn’t resist when she unbuttoned his shirt. Nor did he stop her when she pushed her hand inside to caress the fine hairs on his chest.
Between hungry kisses and heated strokes, they shed their clothes. The pile beside the bed grew until they had no more left to add.
From the tips of her dainty toes to her auburn crowning glory, Duel stroked, kissing every inch. A light brush here, a tender flit there, he gave his lady pleasure, and in turn, stole a piece of her to tuck inside his heart. Just in case.
Jessie’s airy caresses greatly disturbed his quest for control. Her fingertips flirted with his neck, back, and buttocks, threatening to cast him over the brink.
“Ahh. You drive me insane, lady.” He nibbled on a delicately formed ear, then left a trail of kisses down her throat.
The urge to plunge into her, to satisfy his primal needs almost overpowered him. Still, he recognized and respected the fears lodged deep within her and stifled his body’s craving.
When at last her raspy breathing matched his own, Duel rolled over and pulled her on top. He tried to ignore her pointed breasts thrusting against his chest.
“It’s up to you, darlin’. If you want me, here I am. You have control of whatever happens.”
Moonlight cupped her beautiful breasts, traced her lush curves. He almost burst with need to be inside her. The wild thought crossed his mind that if she turned away from him now, he would surely die of longing.
Honest passion danced across her features, and he could have sworn tears sparkled in her eyes.
“Thank you, my dearest.”
With unhurried movements, she lay upon him, her pliant shape molding against his hard muscle.
Lazily, her mouth came to his in a lingering kiss.
And when he strove to continue, she pushed herself above him and teasingly dipped her head until the ends of her hair brushed his chest. Then with deliberate torment, she dragged the strands across his nipples, down his belly, and… Oh my.
Each silky tress skimmed over and around his inflamed member, each individual strand paying homage to the tumult they were creating.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John!
Just as he reached the last of his fortitude, she gently took his thickness and guided it into her velvety softness. Moist heat closed around him.
She eased down upon him, and when she started to move her hips, tight, pulsating waves carried him to the land of milk and honey.
*
Later, lying with her head on his chest, Jessie smiled. A blanket of blissful calm spread through her. The experience she’d just savored couldn’t have happened to her.
Not after the years of nothing but sheer horror at the mere thought of intimacy with a man. Not after she’d betrayed Duel’s trust in her. She didn’t deserve such happiness.
Nagging guilt dimmed her glow. He gave her strength, and she’d repaid him by hiding a terrible secret.
The steady beat of Duel’s heart gave her courage to do what she must do. Even if he hated her for it.
“Duel, are you asleep?”
“Just tryin’ to catch my breath. You, dear lady, are something else.” His admiring tone added to her shame.
“I have something to tell you—something I should have told you from the start.”
He drew small circles on her bare shoulder. “Can it wait till morning? If it’s waited this long…”
She sat up and covered herself with the sheet. “It’s important.”
“Well, in that case.” He shifted until he leaned against the headboard. “Shoot.”
Now that she had his attention, she lost courage. What words did a woman use to destroy a man’s dream of a son of his own?
“You have to understand about the night I shot Jeremiah and what drove me to it.”
“Jess darlin’, no one in their right mind would blame you for what you did. I sure don’t.”
“They’re coming, Duel. Sure as the stars are twinkling in the sky, they’re coming to take me away.”
“They’ll have to get through me first, and that includes Luke too. I’ll fight every last one of them.”
She lovingly traced the deep crease near his mouth. “You can’t stop them. Hush now, I have to tell you my secret.”
“Don’t know why. I already know everything I need to about you,” he grumbled, and took her hand. Opening it, he rested his palm against hers, fingers touching fingers.
“About a month before I ki…before that night, Jeremiah kicked my stomach until he killed the life inside me. There was so much bleeding. I couldn’t stop it.” Those scenes ran through her mind as if they’d just happened. “I lost my baby.”
“Jess, I’m so sorry. For your sake, don’t do this. The bastard! I wish… I wish… Oh God!” Duel slammed his fist into his pillow.
“The assault permanently damaged me. A doctor told me I’ll never have children, not ever. My anger festered until I couldn’t take it anymore.” She covered her face with her hands, unable to look at her tall, noble Texan.
“Don’t, Jess.”
“I have to. You deserve to know what you’ve gotten.” She took a deep breath. “Jeremiah came into my room that night, pulled me downstairs where several of his friends waited.”
Her voice shook, recounting the vivid memory. “He shouted that I was of no use to him since I couldn’t bear children.”
“His own damn fault, the sorry-assed bastard!” Maybe the pain in his voice came from grief that he’d hitched his dream to half a woman, or maybe from anger. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Didn’t make any difference. He wouldn’t want her after this.
“Anyway, he told his friends to take me and do what they wanted. They laughed. I snatched the pistol out of Jeremiah’s holster and…and—”
Duel held her so tightly she could hardly breathe, as if by doing that he could prevent the nightmare from consuming her.
“Shhh. Don’t think about it. He’s not worth wasting a pennyweight of thought over.” He cradled her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. “I have you now and you’re safe.”
She didn’t want to see his stricken look and know that she’d caused it.
“Open your eyes, darlin’.” His gentle tone could have tamed the wildest, meanest maverick.
She wiped her tears and braced herself. Yet strangely, the amber lights held nothing frightening. What shone forth, poets had expressed for centuries in sonnets of love and adoration.
“I feel unworthy of you.” This time the tremble appeared in his deep voice.
“You want me? After everything I’ve told you?” She prayed for a miracle.
“Jess, you’re not an animal to be turned out or sold.” Duel kissed her soundly.
“You’re not disappointed? I know how much you want a son.”
“Darlin’, I promised to stand by you in sickness and in health, for better or worse, until death do us part. I didn’t vow to do all that just till I changed my mind. Besides, what you told me only makes me love you more.”
Unless her hearing had suddenly gone bad, he’d just declared his love for her.
“You love me? For real?”
“Is that so hard to believe? After my jealous rage over Hampton Pierson’s attentions and me pawing you every time you come close to me? Of course I love you.”
“But Annie?”
“That part of my life is over. I loved her once. That was then, this is now. I see that. You’re my wife, and I’m damn proud for you to wear my name.” He peered at her sternly, his gruff addition erasing all doubt. “One more thing. I wed you because I wanted y
ou, lady, not because of any thoughts about offspring.”
“Thank you.” The words came out no louder than a whisper. Her gratitude ran deep, making the simple statement seem inadequate for what she felt.
“Don’t have to thank me. I haven’t done anything. Just wish I could bring Foltry back from the dead and horsewhip the son of a bitch.” He tenderly pressed his lips to her open palm. “What you had to suffer—God help me—no woman should ever have to go through.”
*
A languid peace wound its way through Jessie. Their second lovemaking session had left her totally exhausted, but in a good way.
Snoring softly beside her, his arms holding her safe, Duel exhibited the same contentment. The harsh lines on his features seemed softer, meshing with his sensitive inner spirit.
He’d shown uncommon compassion for her this night. Despite the driving urges she knew he battled, he’d respected her mental fears and let her go at her own pace.
Overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, she caressed his cheek. How she loved this man, her knight of the Texas Plains. His tender lovemaking made her feel more than a fairy-tale princess in a storybook. The toasty flush inside made her the most beautiful woman in the world.
And tomorrow they’d discuss the Butler children.
Twenty-four
Henry hid his tearstained face in his mother’s skirt, ashamed, too afraid to come out.
Vicky pushed him toward Duel and Jessie. “Apologize this instant or your father’s taking you to the woodshed.”
The boy stared glumly at his shoeless bare toes. His mother prodded, this time in a softer tone. “Go on, son.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“Louder, Henry.”
Jessie’s sympathy went out to the little boy. “It’s all right. He doesn’t have to do this.”
“Yes, he does.” A determined scowl marred Vicky’s attractive features.
Henry sniffled, wiping his nose on his shirtsleeve before he raised his head. “I’m sorry, Uncle Duel an’ Aunt Jessie. I didn’t mean to make Marley nearly die.”
“We know you didn’t, Henry.” Duel mussed the top of his nephew’s already tousled head.
“Will she get well?” The boy sniffled loudly again, a tremble in his little voice.
Jessie caught Duel’s anguished gaze. She meant her reassurance for both. “Yes, honey. She will. I know she will.” Confidence sprang from merely saying the words. To her husband, her eyes vowed their little girl would come back to them. Duel reached for her hand and squeezed.
“Vicky.” He turned to his sister. “Would you mind watching Two Bit for just a little while?”
“Be happy to, brother. Henry an’ me’ll stay for a while.”
Curiosity teased as Duel led her by the hand into the bright sunshine. “Where are you taking me?”
“A place you’ve never been.” His arm settled comfortably around her waist. “About time you met someone.”
Halfway up the hill, Jessie realized he headed for the lonely grave at the top. That he wanted to break down the barrier between them made her heart jubilant. After the deeply satisfying night of lovemaking that still brought a flush when she thought of it, she felt humbled and more proud of Duel.
Not even in the beginning had Jeremiah spared a moment to consider her emotional or physical distress. He’d plunged into her with a savage intensity, daring her to cry out.
She cast a sidelong glance at Duel. Though he was a mystery at times, she couldn’t imagine him treating her with anything less than respect. The common bond they shared required she repay him in kind.
“I wouldn’t want to intrude…”
“You’ll never do that, darlin’. Don’t waste a second thinking such nonsense. I want you in every part of my life.”
A slight breeze greeted them when they topped the gentle incline. An awe came over her that was hard to explain. Jessie felt as if she’d entered a church.
Duel squeezed her waist. Hatless, his coffee-brown hair ruffled in the wind. His proud jaw and noble carriage still reminded her of a great Apache warrior. She melted with love for this giant of a man.
“Annie, I want you to meet Jessie.” His deep voice quavered with emotion, giving the sole indication of his deep sentiment. “This lady’s my life now. I love her with my heart and soul.”
The flower-strewn resting place blurred as Jessie blinked. Then her gaze sought Duel’s and she spoke softly. “Annie, thank you for giving me this wonderful man. I’ll take very good care of him.” She took a deep breath. “You see, I love him, too.”
His head lowered, his firm mouth descending, teasing, touching hers. The moment became a timeless time, the lonely hilltop a placeless place where dreams and reality collided.
Forever after she’d always remember a sun-dappled morning when proof of Duel’s love became etched on the stone tablet of her soul.
She’d never dreamed her life would overflow with such a bounty of goodness and love. The dizzying whirl in her head made her feel as if she stood poised on a high precipice while balanced on one leg. How long would her luck last? And how could she keep it from ripping her heart out when it ended?
They stood arm in arm, her head snug in the curve of his shoulder. Silence did have a sound. It was the solemn whispers of two hearts embracing, becoming one.
Then Duel knelt for a reassurance before they turned to go. “Somehow, I knew you’d approve of her, Annie. Now you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
*
Marley Rose slipped in and out of her deep sleep. At present, the limp form rested in Jessie’s lap while she fed her more of the potato-coated cotton balls.
The main problem lay in getting them to go down. Jessie found herself trying to swallow for her.
Duel had moved two kitchen chairs beside Marley’s bed, where they could hold her more easily when feeding her. Now, he set the bowl on the floor and took one of the little hands.
“Come on, sweetheart. Swallow for Mama.” She massaged the small throat and finally found success.
Since she’d followed the doctor’s instructions to the letter, Marley had choked only once. It had terrified Jessie. Luckily, Duel showed an aptitude for getting things unstuck.
“What’s that noise?” he asked suddenly.
Jessie wiped her little darling’s mouth and cocked her head. “I don’t hear anything except your father snoring in the chair.”
Vicky and Henry had long since gone home. Walt, however, had camped in the sitting room. Marley’s situation broke his heart. She’d never seen the man so worried. He worshiped his newest granddaughter.
“No, it’s something else.” Duel dropped Marley’s hand and went to investigate.
A few minutes later he returned. Sharp clicks on the wooden floor captured her attention, and she looked up in astonishment. Yellow Dog padded along by Duel’s side.
“I found him scratching on the front door and whining. Almost broke the darn thing down.”
The whimpering animal sniffed Marley’s feet, licked her hand, then jumped onto the empty place beside Jessie, as if the chair had been put there specifically for him.
“Hey there, Boobie.” Jessie scratched his ears. “Duel, he’s come to check on Marley Rose. He senses something bad’s happened to her.”
“Nothing like being booted out of the way by an overgrown mutt.” Though he grumbled, he wore a pleased look. “Guess he’ll be wanting to sleep with us too.”
“The poor thing’s worried. Animals are very loyal to the ones they love.”
“That’s all well and good, but if he thinks he’s gonna take my place, he’s got another think coming.”
Yellow Dog chuffed and eyed him balefully.
“Seems he’s issued you a challenge.” Jessie placed Marley back in her bed and tucked a light blanket around her.
Despite Duel’s growl, he smoothed the dog’s head. “And I’m drawing the line when that mangy goat starts head-buttin’ the door to come in.”
/> The heaviness squeezing Jessie’s heart seemed to lessen. Her smile felt warmer than it had for days. Surely the angel of death would stay away, seeing the love that surrounded the special little girl.
“I think her color’s better, don’t you?”
“Marley’s better, you say?” Walt asked. Evidently Yellow Dog’s arrival had wakened the man. He ambled to the bed. “Don’t seem as peaked as she did.”
“Pop, that might not mean anything.”
“Shoot fire, son, we gotta have hope.” Walt patted Yellow Dog’s thick coat. The man appeared to think nothing strange about the animal’s perch beside Marley. As if it were an everyday occurrence.
“Walt, now that you’ve had a nap, would you mind sitting with her for a spell?” Jessie asked. “We’ve some chores to attend.”
“Be glad to, honey.” Walt beamed with pride that they found him useful. “Take as long as you need. The mutt and me’ll have a nice conversation.”
Knowing the man she loved like a father would watch for any change, Jessie bustled around the kitchen while Duel got caught up outdoors. A sweet-potato pie for supper might lift everyone’s spirits. Besides, doing nice things for Duel made her feel more worthy of his love.
When she slipped the pie into the oven, she caught sight of him, hoe in hand, chopping weeds in the sorghum field. The wavy stalks, full of spiked florets, reached almost to his waist. Briefly, she wondered how long till harvest.
“Please, let it hurry,” she murmured quietly. An ominous feeling overcame her that perhaps time grew short.
With the supper meal cooking, she washed some necessities outside on the rub board. Busy slipping the clothespins over the tops of Marley’s clean diapers, she felt a presence behind her and whirled.
“I never get tired of watching you.” Duel’s slow drawl sent a rush of heat through her veins.
Breathless anticipation made Jessie tongue-tied. She fumbled with the clothespins in her apron pocket and regarded the source of her problem.
“Won’t get any work done that way, Mr. McClain.”
“Not work I’m thinking about.” The twinkle in his eyes reminded her of a naughty little boy. He shifted the blade of grass that hung from his mouth. “Most assuredly it’s not chores on my mind at the moment.”