Tales From the Crib

Home > Other > Tales From the Crib > Page 28
Tales From the Crib Page 28

by Jennifer Coburn


  “Zipped?” she said as though she’d never heard of the concept.

  He continued, “Or was it wide open like it is now?” He rushed over to her purse and held it up as if he were presenting Exhibit A to the ladies and gentlemen of the jury. “Look at this bag. There are two take-out menus, a day planner, five sheets of loose paper, and a pack of tissues. You’ve got a regular goat feedbag here.” By this time, Anjoli was laughing her silent inhale of a laugh. Jack continued. “I must argue that it was not, in fact, your consciousness that attracted said goat, but rather the paper, paper, paper tempting, taunting, dare I say inviting any normal red-blooded goat to help himself to the contents of your purse!” Anjoli laughed and declared herself guilty of being a flake.

  Jack was such fun these days. It’s hard to imagine that just three years earlier we almost divorced. My cousin Richard always says that everyone has two marriages, but the lucky ones get to have them both with the same person. Jack’s and my marriage was far from seamless, but it was definitely experiencing a renaissance. Appropriately enough he’s a painter. And my body is pale and doughy.

  As I thought back to the day last summer when Anjoli’s Playbill was snatched from her purse by the goat at the zoo, I hoped that she’d be more careful now that Paz was her cargo.

  Of course, at the core, Anjoli was the same goddess of her own universe. She still dabbled in every new age healing workshop New York offered. When Jack and I first moved in to our new place, Anjoli offered her “space-clearing” services to us as a housewarming gift. She’d just completed a six-week ghost-busting class and danced around the house burning sage incense and ringing tingsha bells in every corner. For Christmas she gave us a refresher cleansing, using the techniques she recently learned at an advanced space-clearing class in Los Angeles. She chanted and blew high-pitch notes through a thin bamboo flute-like instrument. Jack and I learned long ago to just roll our eyes and thank her. There was no use fighting Anjoli and her magical thinking. She was convinced that all old homes were potential apparition hotels, and insisted she save us from some crotchety dead colonial dude with an ax to grind. Jack and I just shrugged and let her chant away while our neighbors sang “Silent Night” at the doorstep. She is odd for sure, but she’s my mother. Plus, what harm could she do?

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  The Queen Gene

 

 

 


‹ Prev