She focused on the strange man in the room. “How am I?”
“Fine, as far as I can tell.”
She looked back at Michael. “Is there a problem?”
He touched her face as he leaned closer to her. “Do you know if you were—mistreated—in any other way?”
“Are you asking if I was raped?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think so. Not that I’m aware of.”
“Do you want the doctor to check you?”
She looked into Michael’s eyes. “I guess he should.”
“Do you want me here?”
She nodded and held up her hand while the doctor positioned the sheet and had her raise her knees.
Michael stared straight back into her eyes as he tightly held her hand.
“What if I was?” she asked. “How will you feel about me then?”
“I love you,” he whispered. “Nothing is going to change that.”
She closed her eyes.
“Are you almost finished,” he asked the doctor harshly.
The doctor straightened her knees and pulled the sheet down. “There’s no tearing or bruising. I’d say that, while she was handled roughly, she wasn’t raped.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” said Michael. “You can leave now. If you find she needs anything after you’ve analyzed the blood you’ve drawn, I expect you to come immediately.”
“Of course, Your Highness.”
“And I expect your complete discretion.”
“You may be assured of it.”
When he’d gone, Michael lay his head beside hers on the pillow. “Oh, Jensen, you break my heart every time I look at you, every time I think of you. How can I let you go?”
Chapter Fourteen
Henry came flying into the bedroom. “Jensen?”
Michael was back in the chair beside the bed. He rose quickly and put his finger to his lips. “She’s sleeping.”
“Is she all right?” whispered Henry as he moved closer.
“She will be.”
He looked down at the sleeping face of his cherished sister. “Oh, my God,” he said when he saw the bruises. “How long has she been unconscious?”
“She’s in and out.”
“Has a doctor seen her?”
“Yes. She’s going to be fine.”
Henry touched Jensen’s hair. “Was she...was she...” He left the word unspoken.
“No,” said Michael. “If she had been, Ahmed would be a dead man now.”
Henry nodded. “I didn’t want to admit how worried about her I was until I knew she was safe. She might be my baby sister, but she’s always been my rock. My anchor.”
Michael said nothing.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been able to find her. Thank you, Michael. I’ll sit with her now.”
“It’s all right, Henry. I don’t mind being here at all. You must need to rest after your journey.”
Henry slapped his friend’s shoulder. “Get out of here and let me sit with my sister. You have a country to run.”
Michael reluctantly rose from the chair, his eyes on Jensen. “Let me know if anything changes.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll come back in a little while so you can take a break.”
Michael went to another section of his quarters, showered and changed into jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt, then went to his office where a mountain of mail, faxes and telephone messages waited for him.
His male secretary followed him, speaking a mile a minute in Arabic. Michael answered with short sentences, sat behind his desk and got to work.
And work he did, for hours, doing his best to shut out the fact that Jensen was down the hall.
Doing his best to shut out the knowledge that he was going to have to send her away and never see her again.
He did everything but return the phone calls. Those could be deferred to another day.
Then he sent his secretary away.
What Michael wanted—what he needed—was time alone; time to think.
“Michael?” said Nira from the doorway.
He looked at his sister and inwardly sighed. “What is it?”
“I think we need to talk.”
“About what?”
“May I come in? Your secretary is about to have a stroke because I’m in this part of the house.”
“Of course.”
She closed the door behind her.
“I want to offer you my congratulations on finding Henry and bringing his sister back safely.”
“Thank you.”
“You know, of course, that you must now send her away.”
Michael held on to his temper as he rose from his chair. “I don’t want to discuss this with you, Nira.”
“I’m your family. The only family you have left. Who else will you discuss this inappropriate attachment with?”
“Nira, this is none of your business.”
“It is my business if you disgrace our family name. The repercussions don’t just affect you, my brother. They affect me and my chances for a successful marriage.”
“Not if the man you choose to spend your life with is worthwhile and has enough character to marry you the woman and not the Hassan family.”
“You know that has nothing to do with it. Things here are the way they’ve been for centuries. It isn’t for you or me to suddenly change them. Not even our mother could do that.”
“Our mother was American.”
“And our father didn’t have a woman he was already engaged to when he met our mother. He wasn’t king. He was free in a way you’ll never be again.”
“You think I don’t know this?” he asked evenly. “You think this hasn’t haunted my every waking thought since I met Jensen?”
“Then I have your word that you won’t be doing anything foolish? I can count on this?”
“Nira,” Michael said in measured tones, “you’re my sister and I respect your feelings and wishes, but my relationship with Jensen O’Hara—or any other woman—is none of your business and I will not discuss it with you. Go back to your own quarters.”
She shook her head. “You’re going to throw everything away for her, aren’t you?”
Michael said nothing.
“You can’t do this to your people. They’ll be swallowed up by the likes of Ahmed. There’s no one to step into your shoes.”
“I know what my responsibilities are. And I know what the consequences of my actions—what-ever they are—will be.”
“Michael, I beg you...”
“Go, Nira.”
His sister stared at him for several seconds before turning and leaving the room.
Michael just sat there, his heart so heavy in his chest that he felt bowed by the weight.
Rising from his chair with a sigh, he went to his bedroom where Jensen still lay with Henry at her side. He had fallen asleep, his head on the mattress.
Michael touched his shoulder. “Henry?”
Henry raised his head, his eyes bleary with sleep.
“Go to bed. I’ll stay with her for the rest of the night.”
Henry looked at his sister and touched her hand, then rose from the chair. “I’ll come back in a few hours.”
“Don’t worry about it. I want to stay with her.”
Henry nodded. “I understand. Take good care of her.”
“I will.”
As soon as Henry had gone, Michael turned off all the lights except one on a table across the room, then sat on the edge of the bed and just watched Jensen sleep.
He wanted to memorize every feature; every expression; the sound of her breathing; the way her dark eyelashes fanned her flushed cheeks and contrasted with her blond hair; the contour of her jaw; the fullness of her lips and that hint of a dimple at the corner of her mouth that was evident even in sleep.
Never had he known anything with the absolute certainty that he knew he loved this woman with everything in him.
How on earth
was he going to get through the rest of his life without her?
Jensen opened her eyes and looked directly into his. A gentle smile curved her mouth. “Hello,” she said softly.
Michael brushed his hand gently over her forehead to push her hair back. “Hello.”
“What are you doing?”
“Watching you sleep.”
“It must be a slow night at the palace.”
A corner of his mouth lifted. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.”
“Good. The drugs must be wearing off.”
Michael started to rise from the bed, but Jensen caught his hand. “Are you leaving?”
“No. I was just going to move to the chair.”
“Please lie with me.”
“It’s not such a good idea, Jensen. Someone might walk in.”
“I’m not asking that you make love to me. Just hold me. Unless you don’t want to.”
Michael touched the curve of her hip. “Move over.”
Jensen did, but it caused her to wince.
“Are you all right?”
“Just sore.”
He lay beside her, his arm behind her head, and pulled her back against his chest. “Try to sleep,” he said. “Give yourself as much time to heal as possible.”
Jensen sighed. “I love being in your arms.”
Michael rubbed his cheek against her hair but didn’t say anything.
“You’re going to send me away, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“What if I refuse to leave?”
“I’ll have you escorted.”
“You love me, Michael. You know you do.”
He said nothing.
She turned her head and looked at him. “Don’t you?”
“This isn’t the right time to discuss this.”
“I understand you have obligations.”
“No, Jensen, you don’t. You come from a completely different culture. You have no idea what my obligations are or what effect my failing to meet them will have on thousands of people.”
“Michael...”
He put his lips against her ear. “Go to sleep.”
“Promise me you won’t leave me.”
“I’ll stay with you tonight.”
That had to be enough for the moment.
“Hold me closer,” she said.
Michael pulled her body closer to his, his arm around her waist, her back against his chest.
Jensen just had a feeling. She couldn’t explain it. “I’m not going to see you again after tonight, am I?”
There was a long hesitation. “No. You’ll be staying here until you’re healed. I’ll be returning to the city palace in the morning.”
“thy?”
“I have business. ...”
Jensen turned to face him, wincing with every movement. “Don’t lie to me, Michael. You’re leaving to get away from me.”
Their faces were inches apart. “All right. No lies. That’s exactly why I’m leaving.”
“You love me.”
“Yes.”
“I understand that we can’t be together in a traditional sense, that I’ll never be your wife.”
“That’s right.”
“But I can be your mistress.”
Michael stroked his fingers down her cheek. “Oh, Jensen, you deserve so much more than that.”
“I want you. If being your mistress is the only way I can have you, then that’s what I want.”
“But it’s not what I want for you. You deserve to have a man in your life who can be yours and yours alone. You deserve to have children.”
“Mistresses have children.”
“Illegitimate ones.”
“That’s not such a stigma in the United States anymore.”
“It is in my country.”
“Then I’ll live in my country if I’m lucky enough to bear a child of yours. We’ll see each other whenever we can.”
“No. I won’t do that to you. I won’t allow you to do it to yourself.”
“I’ll never love anyone else.”
Michael kissed her tenderly. “Nor will L”
“Make love to me.”
“After what you’ve just been through...”
“You’re leaving tomorrow. This is the last time we’ll ever be together. Don’t you want to be with me, too?”
Michael didn’t say anything. He kissed her long and deep, then rose from the bed, crossed the room to lock the door, then returned to Jensen, stripping off his clothes before lying back on the bed and pulling her into his arms.
He nuzzled her ear. “If I hurt you, tell me.”
“Oh,” she breathed, “there’s nothing you could do that would hurt me.”
His mouth moved over her neck and the swell of her breast. His tongue found her nipple and circled it, then he covered it with his mouth and gently sucked.
Jensen couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips.
He wasn’t in any hurry as he moved from one breast to the other while his gentle hands moved down her stomach and over her hips, coming back up between her legs and circling his fingers until Jensen was literally writhing.
Then he stopped and raised himself over her, kissing her deeply and letting her feel his desire between her legs without actually entering her.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Oh, yes,” she breathed as she moved her hands down his body and held him close to her. “I want to touch you,” she said as he caught her hand before it reached its mark.
“No.” He kissed her more deeply. “One touch from you and I’ll be gone.”
“Michael.”
He kissed his way along her jaw. “What?”
“I want you inside me now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Right now.”
Michael placed himself directly between her legs and slid himself inside her. “Oh, Lord,” he said, “don’t move.”
Jensen lay completely still, savoring the way it felt to be filled by the man she loved. Her every nerve tingled with desire and expectation.
After a moment, he began moving slowly, in and out.
Jensen had wanted Michael as badly as he’d wanted her. “Michael,” she said breathlessly in his ear as she wrapped her legs tightly around him. “I’m not going to last much longer.”
He thrust himself inside her up to the hilt, harder and harder, until they both cried out from the sheer agony of the pleasure.
He thrust more slowly and gently as they both came down, then was still.
Jensen held on to him. “Stay inside me,” she said against his hear. “Let me just feel you a little longer.”
And feel him she did. Within minutes, he filled her again. Jensen began a rhythmic movement with her hips and Michael reacted by meeting her every motion with one of his own of opposite but equal intensity.
She wrapped herself around him, her hands stroking his back, her hips moving with a circular motion.
Within minutes, they were both beyond anything but each other as they exploded again.
Jensen fell weakly back against the pillows. Michael collapsed beside her, pulling her tightly into his arms.
For a long time, neither of them spoke.
Then Michael rested his chin against her forehead. “How am I ever going to let you go now?”
“Don’t,” she said simply. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me. I just want to be with you. I just want to have the freedom to love you and be loved by you. Is that too much to ask?”
“I knew we shouldn’t have made love. The last thing I want to do is hurt you and that’s exactly what I’ve done.”
“No,” said Jensen, raising her fingers to his lips. “I wouldn’t change what happened between us for the world. If we hadn’t, I would have spent the rest of my life wondering what might have been.”
“And now?”
“Same question. Different circumstances.”
Michael kissed her fingers,
then drew her hand away from his lips and kissed her long and tenderly. Pulling her into his arms, he held her close.
“About this mistress thing,” she said softly, “you have to let me do it...be it. I can’t go through the rest of my life knowing you’re somewhere in the world and I’ll never see you again.”
“Being any man’s mistress—particularly a married man’s—goes against everything you believe in.”
She reached up and cupped his face in her soft hands. “Michael, I love you so much it hurts. If all you can offer me is the hope of seeing you once in a while, I’ll take it.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. How, he wondered, could he marry another woman, make love to another woman, have children with another woman, when the only one he’d ever loved—the only one he’d every truly wanted—was half a world away?
“It will tear my heart out when you leave me,” he said, “but you will leave. And you will get on with your life.”
Jensen choked back a sob. “Please don’t do this to us, Michael. Please don’t send me away.”
Michael pulled her back into his arms and buried his face in her hair. For a long time they just lay there, holding each other.
“I love you,” he finally whispered in her ear, “with all my heart and soul. And that’s why I have to let you go.” He raised his head and looked into her eyes. “You know this.”
Jensen gazed into his eyes for a long moment, then touched his cheek with her hand. “I wish you weren’t so damned honorable.”
Michael managed a half smile. “What happened between us tonight had nothing to do with honor.”
“You’re not married yet.”
His eyes moved over her face; this face he’d never be able to push from his mind. “I think I would have been all right if you hadn’t come into my life. I could have managed this marriage.”
“Only because you didn’t know what love was any more than I did when I came here.”
“And now I know.” He kissed her gently. “And I almost wish I didn’t, because it’s going to make the rest of my life a living hell.”
Chapter Fifteen
When Jensen walked into her Wisconsin farmhouse, it was past midnight. All she had was her backpack, and she dropped that on the floor near the door before walking into the darkened living room and sinking onto the couch.
Her dog would have been with the Shermans at their home down the road.
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