by Daniel Knapp
When Esther arrived at Ralston's office the following day, she was ready with her story. Alex, so mortified he could hardly raise his eyes, stared at the floor. Katherine McDonnell, her doctor, and the lawyers for both sides were already there. Esther nodded at Ralston and Alex's lawyer, whom she'd met in a hastily called meeting held the day before. Then she turned again to the McDonnell woman. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but try as she might, Esther could not place her.
"I think we should get right down to business," the opposing lawyer suggested confidently. "I see here in your deposition, Mrs. Carter, that you claim you have had…" He smiled at Alex. "Ah—congress with Judge Todd."
"That is correct," Esther said, her eyes on Dr. Sims. His attention on her was disquieting. "I was with Judge Todd the entire evening in question. And the night before. And the two nights before that. And each night following until the day of my wedding." She remembered that Carter had made a preliminary survey trip into the Sierras with Crocker as soon as they had returned to Sacramento. At the time, she had been sure he had arranged it simply to be away from her, weigh their arrangement, and adjust to it. Now she used his absence in a way that would cause her endless difficulty if the truth ever came out. "My husband was out of town immediately after we returned to the capital. He was gone for… over a week… During that time I returned to San Francisco and spent several more nights with Judge Todd. The entire week, in fact."
The lawyer's expression went from smug to uncertain. "You are saying that just before and immediately after your marriage, you… had relations with Judge Todd?"
"I am."
"You realize what this could do to you in a court trial?"
"I do."
"I take it that is why you have not, ah, spelled it all out in your deposition."
"That is correct."
"Well, it's an interesting story." The lawyer frowned, thinking quickly. "That leaves only Sunday, the night of Mrs. Carter's wedding." He turned to Katherine McDonnell. "Is it possible you have your dates wrong?"
"No, she hasn't," Ralston interjected. "She couldn't have been with Judge Todd that Sunday evening, either. He was with me—until well past midnight."
Esther wondered if Ralston were telling the truth. Alex put a hand over his eyes as the lawyer turned to her, a narrow-eyed look of utter scorn on his face.
"I'm sure my client hasn't mistaken the dates. As sure as I am that Mrs. Carter's story is a fabrication."
Alex's lawyer stood up. "It is no fabrication. Mrs. Carter is carrying Judge Todd's child."
"What?" Katherine McDonnell's lawyer looked as though he had been hit in the stomach with a shovel. He quickly collected himself. "You mean to tell me that—? This is absurd. She's been… cohabiting… with her husband for two months."
"My husband and I sleep in separate bedrooms. We do not… have not…"
Alex shifted uncomfortably as Dr. Sim's eyebrows shot up. "Are you telling us that you and your husband have"—the doctor cleared his throat—"never had relations?"
"That is exactly what I'm telling you!" Esther thought of the agony she would go through with Carter if she had to implement what she was about to say. She steeled herself and went on. "I am also telling you that I will testify so in court, and that I will also force my husband to verify it."
"My God," the opposing lawyer said, shaking his head. He turned back to her, bearing down. "You would reveal this, despite what it would do to you, to your marriage, to your reputation and your husband's—not to mention Judge Todd, here? Why?"
She gazed at Alex for a moment, wished he could have been spared all this, hoped he would not put two and two together and realize who she was. Then she turned back to Katherine McDonnell. "Because I love Mr. Todd. He is a dear friend and an impeccably honest man. I will not allow a conniving…"
Alex's lawyer put his hand on her arm and gently shook his head, stopping her. He turned to Katherine McDonnell and her counsel. "Mrs. Carter and Judge Todd are not the only ones who risk defamation in court. Should an examination—by a doctor of our choosing show that Miss McDonnell is not with child, she will face not only civil action for damages, but criminal charges as well."
Alex, pained by the thought of fighting a lie with a possible untruth, stared straight ahead at a wall, fighting off the urge to end the proceedings and pay the woman off. There was a look of despair on the opposing lawyer's face. Dr. Sims shifted uneasily in his chair, and Katherine McDonnell, who was as beautiful as Ralston had described her, touched nervously at her carefully arranged hair. Her lawyer fought to regain his edge. "We… won't be threatened! Miss McDonnell has a bona fide paternity claim here…"
Alex's lawyer spoke softly. "Then the next step is to have both women examined. We will be happy to have Dr. Sims see Mrs. Carter first, at his office. Should you subsequently decide to notify us by legal means that Miss McDonnell has decided not to press her charge, a second examination—by a doctor we select—will not be necessary, and we will let the matter drop. Right where it belongs, I might add."
"Please open your eyes," Leander Sims said, after lingering all too long over his pelvic examination. "I want to give the rest of you a thorough look-see." He stared at her nose for a moment, not bothering to cover her with the sheet he had pulled aside.
She reached down and tried unsuccessfully to tug one corner of it across her thighs. "You're finished… there, aren't you?"
"Yes. No doubt about your being pregnant. For just about the length of time in question." He lifted her eyelids, then stared at the pale birthmark between her breasts and, finally, at her nipples. He half-smiled. "I've seen you before, haven't I?"
Lying there on the examination table, she was suddenly aware that the front of his pants were beginning to bulge slightly. "No. You haven't."
"I think I have."
"You're mistaken."
"I… can't recall where, but I'm certain of it." He let his hand trail over her breast.
Esther pushed up off the table and slapped him hard in the face. "You filthy lecher! You've finished your examination! Keep your damnable hands off me!"
He backed away, holding his cheek, startled at first, then sneering. "I thought you might be one of those rare women who enjoy it—with anybody."
She quickly began dressing. "Well, you were wrong! Just as wrong as you were about thinking you could profit by your stinking little scheme."
"My, you are a spitfire. Just like it with Judge Todd, do you? I don't believe that for a minute!"
Esther picked up a glass jar filled with cotton swabs. "Get out!" she screamed. "Get out or I'll smash your face with this."
Sims backed toward the door of the examining room. "I know I've seen you. It's been five years, but I couldn't forget that nose. I tended to you after—"
"If I ever hear a word from you again," she hissed, "if you ever cause me an ounce of trouble—for any reason—I will bring charges against you."
"For what?"
"You rotten, scheming fraud! You of all people know Miss McDonnell would be showing slightly by this time. Even in a dress. There are witnesses to the fact that she isn't. Even her own lawyer. Now get out, or the next time we see one another it will be at a trial that brings so much down on your head you'll be lucky to ever practice in California again."
He paused for a moment. "You people with money. You won't stop at anything, will you?" He glared at her and went out through the door, slamming it behind him.
She stayed in San Francisco for a week, expecting Alex to arrive at her front door to thank her after the charges were dropped. She was prepared to tell him almost everything, but it was Ralston who came instead.
"You were really something. I even believed you. For a moment there, when you said you loved Alex, I thought I was listening to someone else."
"I was… only stretching the truth. I care… deeply… for Alex Todd… as a friend."
"Well, you certainly proved your friendship. I hope someone goes to bat for me that way, if I ever nee
d it."
"You won't, Billy. You're too aware of what people are capable of. Alex will… I am only guessing… always be vulnerable to someone like the McDonnell woman. He… acts in the belief that most people are as honest as he is."
"You may be right." I doubt he could do what you did for him. It would be against his principles."
"It's against your principles, as well. But you could do it, couldn't you?"
"In a small way, I did. He wasn't with me the night of your wedding at all. I saw him earlier in the day, briefly. Had to take him home he was so drunk. Can you imagine? Alex? At noon on a Sunday? He'd been up all night. Kept repeating over and over, something like 'Wish her luck for me.' God, I think Judith's death had him a little out of his mind for a while."
Esther felt as though her insides were going to come apart. "Is he… has he continued the drinking?"
"No, I was able to talk some sense into him. He's been moody as hell, and he's done something I think is foolish, but other than that—by the way, before he left yesterday, he asked me to thank you again for what you did."
"Left?"
"Yes, he didn't think it would be wise to say goodbye personally. Didn't want to risk embarrassing you."
"Left San Francisco yesterday?"
"Yes. Didn't he tell you? He said he'd written to thank you."
"He sent a beautiful letter of appreciation."
"Well, I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. The whole thing mortified him. He took his extended leave of absence, after all. Got himself a commission as a major from General Sumner over at the Presidio."
"In the Union Army?"
"Yep." Ralston looked at his watch. "Could have served here in the West, but he wouldn't hear of it. On his way to Washington for assignment. I'd guess the clipper he's on is a third of the way to Panama by now."
Sixty-seven
Esther knew the baby was Todd's the moment she saw the shape of its body. Bull Carter didn't seem to notice, nor did he object when Esther requested that the child be named Todd—after "her grandfather." He doted over the infant, softening toward Esther even though she continued to say no to his less and less frequent entreaties. He had enough on his hands to keep his mind off her. Since passage of the Pacific Railroad Act that spring, he had been working sixteen-hour days at Charles Crocker's dry-goods warehouse and the Central Pacific's modest offices over Huntington and Hopkins's hardware store on K Street.
That was the only thing that could be called modest about the Central Pacific. They were already pushing Stanford's nomination for governor. Through Judah, Huntington had obtained a thirty-year government loan granting $16,000 per mile for work on the flatlands, $32,000 for the foothills, and $48,000 per mile in mountain terrain, far more than the construction cost.
"That Huntington is a fox," Bull Carter said one evening over dinner. "He's got a geologist who will testify that mountain soil can be found four miles east of Sacramento. Can you beat that? Son of a bitch—excuse me—is gonna move the Sierras forty miles west on the survey maps so we'll get the higher rate almost from ground-breaking time next January."
Esther toyed with the food on her plate. She had been thinking of Moses lately, wanting to give him a taste of the outside world so he could make his own decision about going into the priesthood. It was the least she could do for him. He would be fifteen in the fall, old enough to work this summer if Carter would find a job for him. Now was not the time to comment acidly on the rapaciousness of the Big Four.
"What does Judah think of all this?"
"He don't like it at all. But he's keeping his mouth shut. He better keep on keeping his mouth shut, too. If he tries anything, they'll force him out quick as look at him."
"I hope that doesn't happen."
"Hope so too. He's not a bad little fella. I don't hardly understand what he's talkin' about half the time, but I like him."
He was in a good mood. She decided to seize the opportunity. "Bull ... I ... I want to ask you a favor."
"What kinda favor?"
"I want you to find a job this summer—at the construction company—for… the son of a friend of mine."
"There won't be no jobs 'til winter. Just preliminary stocking, preparations. I don't see how I can do it."
"Please? I would appreciate it."
"Who's the kid? How old is he?" Carter looked at her, thinking.
"Fifteen. He's… Solana's son. He's away at school."
"An injun kid? Forget it."
She thought for a moment. "I said I would appreciate it. I think you know what I mean."
His eyebrows rose, and he shook his head slowly, not believing what he was thinking. "Esther, I ain't as smart as you. You'll have to spell it out for me."
She measured out the difficult words. "While he is here, working at the construction company—and no longer—I would be… willing to… accommodate… you. Occasionally."
Carter laughed nervously, still slightly incredulous. "You mean? The two of us… like… uh…" His voice dropped to almost a whisper. "Once a… once a week?"
Esther looked away for a moment, then turned back. She nodded.
"Gaaaaahdamn! Esther, sweetheart, you got a deal." He laughed again, completely forgetting his usual "Excuse me."
"Just while he is here."
"I know, I know." He was more delighted than she had ever seen him. "Maybe… maybe I can talk him into staying on 'til the whole damn railroad's finished." He saw her frown. "I was just joking, Esther," he added quickly. "Just joking, for God's sake."
She knew he wasn't being facetious at all, but for now she had enough to think about. She had received the third of a series of letters from Alex. He never said as much, but she sensed from the tone of his letters that he had seen combat. She also knew instinctively that there was more to his writing than the desire to remain in touch with a "friend," as he put it, during the lonely hours between battles. He never came right out with it, but she wondered if, upon reflection, he had begun to suspect who she really was. She thought several times of writing him more than just an encouraging letter, telling him everything, but then decided against it. She would go to him after he returned home. It was not the sort of thing to write about. Not while he was at war. And there was no way to convey all she wanted to. No, he must see her face, know from the look in her eyes that she loved him still, despite everything that had happened. She was convinced it was her only hope of ever winning his forgiveness, if that were still possible. She began to long for that meeting, that confession, and the more she yearned for it, the greater her fear became that he would be killed.
When Moses arrived that summer, reawakened sadness and a measure of guilt were added to the whisper of fear for Alex she carried with her every day. The loose-limbed, natural coordination he inherited from his father counterbalanced the awkwardness of adolescence. As he stepped down off the stage from Marysville, Esther was struck by other similarities to Mosby: the boy's rawboned features and even gaze. He had a handsomer face than his father and less of Mosby's flat, almost reptilian stare, but the similarity was still enough to make Esther shudder.
She wondered if the ripple of remembered hatred engendered by the sight of the boy showed as he looked at her for a moment, hesitantly studying her face, then walked toward Solana, finally relaxed, and embraced the Indian woman.
Solana immediately sensed the question in the boy's mind as he turned again and stared at Esther in confusion. "You see?" she said, laughing, coming completely out of the shell of withdrawal she had retreated to since the massacre. "He has grown to be a fine man." He is Mos-by's son, she thought. There is no question with that face.
Esther held out her hand.
"This is the woman who… found you in the snow, in the mountains, when you were a child," Solana quickly said.
"Then you are not my mother?" Moses asked Solana, still staring at Esther.
"It is time you knew that we could not know who your mother was, and that I… adopted you." So
lana said wisely.
Esther noticed Solana was studying the boy's face, then saw her nod to herself almost imperceptibly, as though she had finally confirmed something. But then Moses pulled her thoughts in another direction as they picked up his bags and headed for the waiting carriage.
"Then who are you?" he asked, glancing again at Esther.
"I…" The words stuck in her throat.
"Mrs. Carter is your friend," Solana quickly intervened. "She was my friend first, then after she… found you… and gave you to me to care for, she helped you go to the school."
"I never knew who paid for the school," he said, obviously deep in thought. "It costs a lot of money. I wondered about it."
"Mrs. Carter pays for all of it because she wanted to help you."
They got into the carriage and started off for Esther's place.
"I've never had the chance to thank you," Moses said. "I didn't even know it was you."
"That's perfectly all right, Moses. It was really nothing. I simply had the money, and we wanted to help you. It was Solana who did the important thing—raising you when you were a baby."
"I remember much of that time," Moses said as he began playing absently with young Todd in his wicker carrying crib. "Sometimes I think I can remember all the way back to the time I was born. Isn't that strange?"
"No one can go back that far," Solana said, uneasy.
"I know," Moses responded, "but sometimes it seems that way. Sometimes I have a feeling that I know about some things I couldn't possibly know."
Esther turned, and for a moment, as she caught Moses stealing a darting glance at her, she was sure he knew she was his mother. She was aware that he was watching her again when Solana suddenly reined the carriage team toward the Indian school rather than continuing toward Esther's home.
"It will be better if he stays with me," Solana explained. "There is room for him in the… apartment, and there are two boys from the village at the school. Perhaps he will remember them."
"Yes," Esther said. "Perhaps that will be better."
She was sure there was no way he could possibly know she was his mother, but the eerie feeling that he sensed it lasted until he came home from work the following day. Bull Carter's arm was over the boy's shoulder when he brought him back unexpectedly for dinner that night. He had clearly won Moses over, and whatever questions about Esther had arisen in the boy's mind, they were obviously buried now in his fascination with the railroad and his unalloyed worship of her husband.