by Leela Ash
“Well Milo, we are in your debt. I was just about to do my best with them, but I’ll be honest, it wasn’t looking good. I don’t know what we would have done without you guys. You sure handled the situation.” She was genuinely moved. And looking around and seeing the dead beasts that were so recently seeking to finish her off brought home how much they had indeed done for her. Jessa took a moment to appreciate this man who had followed her so far. At the same time she told herself she would not let herself get stuck in a situation like this again. She had gotten sloppy.
Milo smiled shyly, turning a soft red glow from all of the attention. Mike was, of course, beyond relieved to have actually found her. But he was also determined not to scare her off again. He would play it cool this time. Even as these thoughts coursed through his mind, he couldn’t help but notice how readily Milo soaked up her praise. He could see that she meant it too, but he knew from experience that she was hardly the sentimental type. Or at least that was not all of her. As much as he wanted to just give himself to this woman, he knew he had to be careful and stay aware, lest he fall under her spell again. He just needed to give it time. Milo just looked down again, his toes scraping against the ground.
“Really Miss, I just spotted you. Mike here was the one that ran out and took down the dogs. But truth is he did want me to stay behind and keep an eye on you guys. But I knew he might need help, so I followed him down. I know how to deal with the doggies.” She liked this kid, and she realized, just like Mike had, that he had his own set of skills to add to the group.
“So are you guys going to the ocean with us?”
Jessa sighed and looked down at her son. He was always too loose with the invites, though she had already been thinking about asking the same thing once they had rested up a bit. She decided it was just fate. He had found them twice now. She wasn’t the type of woman to “test” man like that. She had run because she honestly had thought it was the best thing to do. But if she had been testing him, he had certainly come through with flying colors.
Still there was much that needed to be said between them, but there would be time for that once they were safe and secure. She was unsure why she kept running from him. She did feel safer with him around. She realized that she also felt a little weaker somehow. But for the first time she decided to challenge that assessment. Was she really weaker? Or was she just scared? She looked over at Michael again with a twinkle in her eye. “I should thank you as well.”
Now it was Michaels turn to blush.
5
“So, are you going to tell me why you left?”
Jessa looked up at him and resigned herself to having a conversation she didn’t necessarily want to have.
“Look, I appreciate you helping us and all, but…”
“What is up with you? I know you care about me. So why do you keep running away? Are you really going to just take off again?”
Jessa gave him a dirty look. She didn’t really know what else to do. He had her totally pegged. Didn’t he get that she did not want to look at this stuff? He also knew that she needed him, so he could afford to put her on the spot. She thought it was the guys that were supposed to be cold and unfeeling. She really didn’t know exactly “what was up” with her.
“No, I am not going to just take off, but you don’t have to look so smug. And don’t think you can just jump on me like you did back at the cottage again. I would hate for you to end up like Chase. Okay cupcake?”
Michael just gave her an exasperated look. He knew as well as she did that she had enjoyed that roll in the grass more than she could give words to. They had just felt so right together. He would just have to be patient again. But he was glad that he had voiced what had gone unspoken last time.
Jessa smiled and went to the bedroom where her son was sleeping, her defenses a little back in place. She needed a little hiding. It was just a lot for her to take. After her husband had passed she thought she would never be with another man again. Being around Michael was difficult and she felt better as soon as there was some space between them. It was going to be a long trip and she was still not sure why he was going her way. She still couldn’t quite believe that he meant what he said. She had an idea of what he really wanted and even though she wanted it too, she fought against her basic urges. When sleep finally came to her though, it was still Michael she dreamed of.
***
“Mom, everyone is up. It’s time to go.” Shane was giving her arm and back a not-so-gentle wake up shake.
Jessa’s eyes opened in a flash. She had slept way passed her usual time of dawn and the sun was high in the sky when she looked out.
“What time is it?”
Shane shrugged and handed her some sort of tea. She smelled it suspiciously and then took a drink.
“Thanks, who made this?”
“Milo. We went out and got some plants this morning for it. He’s really smart.”
Jessa stuffed down her annoyance at Shane going outside with the relative stranger. She didn’t know if she liked the idea of him going out alone with someone she didn’t know. Actually, she knew she didn’t like him going out without her period. There seemed to be a need to set some ground rules. Jessa had all intentions on telling Michael off as she got dressed, but when she smelled breakfast all cooked and ready, her initial anger quickly dissipated as her hunger won out. She took a couple of the little tortillas that he held out and sat down on the stairs of the porch.
“Shane said you guys were ready to go?”
“Almost. Just cooking up the rest of this batter before we go. It won’t keep and we will be grateful to have it for lunch or dinner. Do you always sleep so late?” It was not a criticism. He genuinely wanted to understand her patterns. Everyone had their ways, and they needed to be respected. Plus they did need to all get on the same page as soon as possible.
“No. I guess I was just more exhausted than I knew.”
The truth was that it had been the first time she had actually felt safe enough to really sleep in a long time. When it was just her and Shane, she always had to worry about everything, all the time. She could never rest. She had not realized how much she had missed the sense of safety and ease that a group afforded. Even a small group of four was enough for her to feel that weigh shifter off her shoulders. It was also just a fact that the four of them together had better odds than just a woman with a child did alone.
“Well I’m glad you got some sleep. Hopefully it will improve your mood,” he said with a hint of a smile.
“Don’t count on it,” she replied.
“So Mom, where are we going?”
“East a little longer, then south. I have heard many times that the Keyes was spared a lot of the destruction. That will be the best place to go I think. No big cities or radiation to deal with.”
“But. You know we are going to have to deal with a few on the way though. Miami was hit hard and you pretty much have to go through it to get to the bridge. Tampa and Orlando can be bypassed, but we would have to go through Miami. It would be even worse to try and go around it I think.”
Michael was nervous about both her planned route as well as her final destination. He had never gone as far south as Miami himself, but he spent enough time in the over-grown state to know that he did not want to go there now. All the critters that had been there before were still there, only now a huge bunch of them were supersized and meaner than ever. Yesterday’s dog-beast pack would look like a bunch of circus poodles by comparison. For whatever reason Florida had been especially reclaimed by nature post-bombs. And as conditions deteriorated people emptied out of the state, streaming north, and probably south as well, he figured, further hastening the decay as well as nature’s return to the land. As soon as he had gotten a taste of it in the past he had headed out, and wasn’t overly anxious to visit it again now, especially not with a small child and a pretty sick teen in town.
Seeing the anxiety on his face she said, “I have dreams of this place. That’s where
we will be safe, I know it.” Then she paused for a moment as her expression changed…”Have you ever felt like you’re being guided?”
The question took him by surprise, mostly because he knew exactly how that felt. He had felt that was how he had found her the first time he laid eyes on her, as well as the time he had found her in the cottage, as well as the way he found her again yesterday. Yeah, he knew exactly what she meant, but he couldn’t say so. He didn’t really know what to say, he was rendered speechless. He had been ready to argue with her and try to convince her to pursue some other plan – any other plan. But things had worked out pretty well so far in following this guidance he had received, so he decided to take her question as a further form of his own guidance. He would take it as a sign that they were indeed meant to head south toward the Keyes. He wasn’t going let her know that though.
“Have you been in any of the big cities afterbombs,” he said, using the slang, “or just the smaller ones like wherever that was we just left?”
“I have seen enough to know what I’m asking, though it was before I had Shane. Look, I just want to find a safe spot, and I know this is the way. I just feel it. I know it won’t be easy to reach, but isn’t it worth a shot? There has to be a place where we can all start again on our own terms.”
Mike could see that he was not going to change her mind, and at this point he didn’t feel a need to. The conversation had given him his own epiphany. She was stubborn though. And he also realized that he would have her no other way – not that he really had her at all of course. But at least they were together. He had hope she would come around.
“Well, I guess I have nothing better to do at the moment. Milo, what do you think, do you want to go see the ocean?”
The young man smiled broadly and nodded his head. Somehow he at least had some fairly white teeth. They had not pressed him about his mother, but it was apparent that he had been alone for some time. It was clear how happy he was to be a part of a group. And he positively lit up to be asked his opinion on such an important topic as where to go. Of course it was obvious that Milo would go wherever they went, just so long as he didn’t have to be alone anymore. They could all relate to that.
6
“Billy do we really have to keep chasing this bitch? Let’s just let it go. It’s not worth it.”
The dark-haired man turned towards Jimmy and gave him a look that shut his mouth instantly. Everyone in the group knew not to cross Billy. It had been over a week they’d been out on her trail, but she was still days ahead. They had followed them easily enough to the cottage, where it appeared a third had joined up with them. But then it the tracks had separated, or almost snaked around each other. They decided it was easiest to just track the child when they had sign of him. If they lost him they would look for the woman, but they knew she would never leave his side. They followed them all the way right into the city. That had gotten tricky. They had come upon some dead beast but had lost the trail shortly afterward. Finally they surmised that they would be moving on and that was when, in a search of the far end of town they came upon signs again. Only now there appeared to be four, not just two.
Billy knew that he should turn back, but he couldn’t. He had to follow the code. It was all he had left of his father, and at times he felt it was all that held his little community together. His father used to run the gang, but after he died, most of the First Nine went their own way. Only a few of the first Laughing Dead, like Chase, had stayed on, and then only a handful more of their kin as well, like Billy, joined in to rebuild the numbers. They had struggled for a time but eventually grew strong again. They grew strong following the code. There had to be justice for the death. Chase had been one of the First Nine and that was that. It didn’t matter that he was an ass or had probably had it coming. Whoever was added to her band would have to pay the price for being in her company as well. He couldn’t let it go. Hell, he even kind of liked the lady who was so good with the plants. He thought of the tools in his bag and then of the accelerant he’d use to torch it all when they were done.
“We will stay the course and you will stop acting like whiny ass punks. We are only three now and we cannot just let it go. Would you not want your own death honored and revenge sought? This is how it has to be.”
They did not realize that this code was the glue that held their fragile little world together.
Marshal and Jimmy nodded their heads. They were there for the ride and would do whatever Billy wanted. They knew what was what. They just needed some reminding that there were some things that just had to be done. And they knew how to do them. They had done it before after all.
“Hell Billy, we are with you man. Just want to find this bitch so we can get back home is all.”
“I hear ya brothers. I am ready to get in bed with the old lady too. Soon guys, very soon. They can’t be that far ahead now.”
Billy took his leather jacket off and hung it on a nearby tree. The laughing skulls on the back stared back at him. He reached out his hand to touch the symbol from the past that had started it all. It had become inseparable from his memory of his father.
***
Michael was finding it harder and harder to keep his relationship with Jessa on a platonic basis. He was literally finding it harder and harder, he thought wryly. I mean, it was ridiculous, he thought. She obviously dug him, and he dug her. He could feel it! So why weren’t they getting together? It was maddening is what it was. He found himself purposely walking slower so he could get behind her and shamelessly watch her ass as she moved. He was reduced to acting like some high school kid. Milo even began to notice and nudged him a couple of times as to say, “What are you waiting for?” Of course there was nothing to say. He could not force her into something she wasn’t ready for, even though there were moments where he could see flashes of lust in her eyes as well.
Shaking his head to clear out it all out, he decided to focus on talking to the chatty five year old striding to keep pace with the adults next to him. The kid’s blue eyes positively glittered as Mike told him about how the world was once full of machines that did virtually every task you could imagine. They made a game of “Was there a machine to do such and such? Was there a machine to do this? To do that?” The kid never tired of it. It was amazing to see how enthralled the boy was about things that he himself had learned to take completely for granted once upon a time. Of course machines did not run as they once did, and when a machine did run, it was more often for a completely different purpose than originally intended. With roads in disrepair and the difficulty in maintenance and procuring food, cars were just a hindrance and barely any of the hunks of metal on the roads were kept drivable at this point. If a person was lucky enough to find a vehicle that worked, there was little chance of getting anywhere with the clogged throughways anyhow. Besides, even if the motors could be salvaged, the tires would be rotten. A community would be lucky to have the knowhow to have one motorized truck or vehicle. Motorcycles were a little more useful in that at least you didn’t have to worry about the roads so much. Still the tires were a pain. Without the infrastructure, even the simplest machines were a headache. For those reasons many just preferred walking. Some of the more established communities had horses.
Shane dreamed of machines and was always talking to Jessa about ones that he wanted to build when he got older. Now he had a whole new source to talk to about engines and batteries and gears, instead of about plants and cooking. It was bittersweet for Jessa. She was thrilled to see Shane so happy. Being around Michael he had just lit up. She could almost see him soaking in everything about Michael. He just hadn’t had any male figures to emulate since her husband died a few years ago. But that was the thing. She had always seen her husband as the one who would be that model for Shane. She could still see Kraven’s face every time she looked at Shane. It was hard to put it aside. She had at least stopped trying to find excuses to get away from Michael. She knew it wasn’t his fault, and she knew he was a good man.
But she wasn’t sure that she was ready to say she was all in either. She could make herself be ready. But she also realized that if she pushed him away again, he would most likely be gone for good. She was torn, to say the least, though Shane didn’t seem to have any problems committing.
For now though, this was all just so much mental clutter. They needed to stay together for their own safety. Everyone knew the score it seemed and they had all agreed to head south. This is what Jessa told herself as she felt his gaze linger on her ass yet again. Every time she looked behind her, his piercing blue eyes were waiting for a sign. They both knew it was going to happen, though Jessa was holding out as long as she could. A yes to him would be giving up the last of the control that had kept her safe thus far.
“What do you think? Does this look like a good place to stop for the night?”
His question woke her out of her thoughts and she looked back at him first, before looking at the small overgrown house on the hill ahead of her. She shrugged her shoulders and started walking up the weed-filled pebble walkway.
“Shane, stay out here with Milo for a minute until we make sure this place is safe.”
Shane nodded his head in agreement. This had become their new way of doing things and seemed to work out well. Milo was well suited for the role. He was an expert “hider” and if danger approached that would be their best line of defense anyhow. Meanwhile she and Michael were very adept at checking the houses for any danger. The system worked out well.
Jessa went in behind Michael and after checking every room, the two waiting outside were brought in. Then the windows and doors had to be secured, as well as the never-ending hunt for useful things. By the time the group was back in the living room with what they could find, the sun had been down for an hour. Jessa liked that Michael was so thorough. They were a lot alike in that way.