I remember getting a lot of my premonition feelings when I was Krystal’s age. But I didn’t have any experience with psychic abilities or magick back then so I couldn’t tell what bad things were about to happen when the ominous feeling struck. One thing for certain is that Krystal is both psychic and magickal. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to use telepathy to talk to Jim and I in the hospital today. Fuck, I feel so bad for her. She had to watch her friends get raped and killed in front of her and I’m sure they didn’t just kill them quickly with a gun. The evil fucks probably tortured them first and murdered them slowly so they could savor it. I bet Krystal tried not to watch but couldn’t help herself, like when you drive by a car accident and you’re afraid to look but something compels you to. Something about the human brain just forces you to look. Besides, J probably threatened Krystal to make her watch. Or threatened Krystal’s parents. I’m sure fear of losing them would’ve made her do anything.
Whether or not I should offer to wipe some of Krystal and Priscilla’s memories is weighing heavily on my mind. I wish I was skillful enough at erasing them that I could just get inside their heads and erase the truly horrific ones. Unfortunately, with the way I learned to do it, you have to get inside a person’s mind and zone in on the most recent memory and start erasing them all backwards until you’ve deleted everything you wanted to. So, you’re wiping away their good memories along with the bad ones. It also gives them amnesia. They know they aren’t remembering things and could drive themselves crazy trying to, which could lead to anxiety and depression. Suffice to say, it’s not a decision to take lightly. Another factor to consider is that you reverse their mental age to whatever age they were at when you finished erasing their memories. So, Priscilla is 30 but she would have the mental age of a 15-year-old if I erased her last 15 years as J’s prisoner. Perhaps that’s not the worst thing in the world. It’s not like she’d have to go to high school or deal with any of your normal 15-year-old shit like puberty. It would just be her mind that’s 15, not her body. The thing is, deleting someone’s memories like this is not terribly difficult to do, which is why I’m thinking there must be a harder, more complicated spell that lets you erase specific memories. Lia, Shar and I will have to get together with all of our witchcraft books and Ruth’s Book of Shadows and search for such a spell this weekend, if not sooner. Bien sûr, I could consult the internet, but erasing someone’s memories seems like something where you want a reliable source, not some random spell site. Although there are a couple spell sites I really like. I just haven’t tried anything from them and I don’t think brain surgery is something I should attempt first.
Merde. I just remembered something. I have to write that article about the frog incident for the newspaper. I don’t need to hand it until the day after tomorrow but I’m not one to procrastinate. Besides, we have that memorial for Kat tomorrow night so that would only leave me a few hours in the afternoon to work on it. Guess I should get started now. But I’m only working on it until nine then I’m starting a new series on Netflix. It’s called Glitch and it’s about these dead people who come back to life. The big question is why they’ve been raised from the dead. It sounds intriguing and I am a fan of a French series called Les Revenants, which is also about the dead rising, so I have a feeling I’m really going to like it. I’m also a fan of this really weird show on HBO called The Leftovers, which is about a reality in which a large part of the world’s population just vanished one day. To be perfectly honest, it’s even stranger than Twin Peaks. Speaking of which, I am so excited about the upcoming third season, which is going to be on Showtime. Here’s hoping I live long enough to see it and that they do the original series justice. I’m sure they will though, since the creative minds behind the original series are the ones behind the return, David Lynch and Mark Frost. I do have photographic memories of seeing their names in green during the opening credits of Twin Peaks when I watched the original series (twice).
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
SHAR
I made it home just in time for dinner, which was at 7:30 tonight. My mother made American chop suey, which is macaroni, sauce and hamburg, but she kept some macaroni with just sauce on it for me. For someone who mostly cooks traditional Indian food, she makes a damn good sauce. Among other things, she puts a cup of red wine and lots of fresh basil in it. Very little oregano, however, which is probably because it’s one of my least favorite spices. Arja doesn’t like it either.
Speaking of Arja, I’ve just knocked on her bedroom door. Although she probably didn’t hear me with her loud Bollywood music blasting. I don’t know how she listens to that stuff. We don’t even speak the language. I guess some of it is good for dancing, which I regularly hear her doing since our bedrooms share a wall. Plus, I’m one to talk considering that I listen to quite a bit of French musique and don’t understand half of it.
I knock on her door again, louder this time. “Arja!”
The music stops then she opens the door. “What’s up?”
“Any chance you can take me to your gym as a guest? I need to go swimming stat.”
Her brows knead together. “Why the urgency?”
“I’m trying out for the swim team at school tomorrow and I haven’t swam in something like three months.”
“Oh. What if you get too sore from swimming tonight and blow it tomorrow?” She’s only playing the devil’s advocate because she doesn’t want to take me.
I shrug. “If I’m sore tomorrow, I’ll have my friend January heal me.”
Her eyes grow wide. “You can heal people with magick?”
“Yes, of course. And she’s extra good at it.”
She grins. “That’s good to know.”
I sigh. “So, will you take me? Please?”
Her forehead and brows relax. A good sign. “I suppose. I should go work out anyway. Can you give me fifteen minutes?”
I nod. “Yes, yes. Thank you.”
We hit the road for the gym five minutes ago and Arja has barely said two words since. I should probably try to start a conversation. “Something on your mind, sis?”
“Yes.” She grins.
“Well, what is it?”
“A dream I had last night. At least I thought it was a dream, but it’s become clearer and clearer since I woke up.” The way she’s talking, it sounds like she has a card up her sleeve.
“OK, what is it?”
“It was about you, actually.”
I swallow hard. “Really?”
“Well, you, Li and Emma.”
I have no clue what she’s getting at. But I feel like she’s going to use the witch card against me. “I’m listening.”
“Well, the dream started with me finding you in the midst of having a seizure. Do you remember that?”
Of course, I do. And I don’t like where this is going. I just look at her and nod.
She shakes her head no. “See, you were seizing so hard that I went into a state of panic and called 911. Except you took the phone out of my hand. Does that sound right to you?”
I just nod again. I know what she’s about to say and I’m completely screwed.
She looks me in the eyes. And boy does she look angry. “Tell me how you took the phone out of my hand.”
“You already know.”
“I do.” She nods and smirks. “You used magick. Because that’s what witches do, right?”
My face reddens. How the hell does she remember this? I hypnotized her and made her forget. And it worked. I’m completely baffled. Does hypnosis not hold when you dream? Merde, merde, merde! I’m panicking. I want out of this car so bad. If I thought I could safely teleport out of it I would. Em and Li are going to kill me. And I’ll get kicked out of the house if she tells my parents! Please, Lord and Lady, make her forget again. Please, please, please. I’ll do anything. Just make her forget again.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell anyone,” she says.
“Th – th – thanks.” My teeth chatter as
I stutter. She’s lied to me before. Not during the past few years, but I still don’t feel like I should trust her with this. However, it seems like I have no choice. Damn it, my heart is beating so fast right now. I can actually hear it beating. Boom, boom, boom. It reminds me of gunshots. That’s all I need. Boom, boom, boom.
“Seriously, calm down. My lips are sealed. I won’t tell a soul.”
“D – d – do you me - mean that?”
“Yes,” she says and smiles. Was she just screwing with me when she looked at me like she wanted to sever my head from my body? Was that shit-eating grin for nothing? Her not saying anything to anyone seems too good to be true. It should’ve seemed that way when I hypnotized her, too. Goddess, this is bad. My teeth are chattering so hard I’m afraid I’m going to chip one. Maybe I should try to get in her head and erase her memories back to that morning before I used magick? No, I can’t do that to her. Then she’d be missing days and it would drive her crazy. I’m not going to drive my sister insane for the sake of my peace of mind. It’s wicked tempting, though!
She puts her hand on my shoulder and shakes me a little while smiling at me. “Take some deep breaths or one of those anxiety pills already.”
Deep breaths. Right. I start taking them. She isn’t going to tell anyone so I need to calm down. Besides, who would believe her if she told them? My parents would probably kick her out of the house for making such a stupid accusation. Still, Em and Li are going to be pissed. Merde. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
“How many ways do I have to tell you your secret is safe with me?” Arja asks.
“As many as possible.” My teeth have stopped chattering. My face doesn’t feel as flushed. I’m going to be OK. I’m going to practice my swimming and I’ll be fine. The hypnosis probably didn’t hold because I did it on my own. I must need Li and Em’s help to make it permanent.
We arrive at the gym just before eight. Arja says she’s going to use the treadmill and stair climber and goes off to do that. I know I have to, but I hate taking my eyes off of her. I’m afraid she’s going to tell people the first chance she gets, but I do realize she’d sound like she needs to be in a loony bin if she does.
I stretch my arms out and look at my hands. They’re not trembling, and I’m not freaking out anymore, so I climb the ladder into the shallow end of the pool. Maybe it’s because of what just happened with Arja, but it feels a little weird, to be honest. Maybe this pool is warmer than I’m used to? Or maybe it’s cooler? Something just feels a little off. Even braiding my hair in the locker room felt strange. Of course, these past few months have been the longest I’ve ever gone without swimming since I was around 12. The most water I’ve been in lately has been when I take a bath with Lia. So, I suppose being in a big pool again is bound to feel different. One thing is for certain, the chlorine smell is familiar. I have to breathe through my mouth and not dwell on it. Otherwise, it makes me sick to my stomach. That’s right, I’m a swimmer who can’t stand the smell of chlorine. You’d think I would’ve gotten used to it by now. I guess I do tolerate it better. But it smells almost as bad as puke to me.
Well, here goes nothing. I lower myself into the water so that it gets my whole body wet, including my head.
I stand up then lie down on the water, letting my body float. I kick off the side of the pool and start swimming, doing the breast stroke, which is one of the things I’m best at. I’ve come in first on the 100 meter several times and when I haven’t managed that, I’ve come in second. It feels so good, my arms and legs cutting through the water as I swim to the other side of the pool. Now being in it feels entirely familiar, which is wonderful. Not so great is that I’m using muscles I haven’t used much lately and I can tell my strength isn’t what it was a few months ago. Hopefully, I’m still good enough to make the team. I’m definitely going to be sore tomorrow, but at least January can make my muscles feel well rested before I try out. I wonder if that’s cheating? I suppose most people would say it is. But, hey, I’ve been through hell these past few months and that’s the only reason I haven’t been swimming regularly.
Having reached the end of the deep end, I turn around and kick off the side again, giving myself a boost. As I swim back toward the shallow end, my muscles don’t feel quite as strained. I wonder if I could use magick to give myself an edge tomorrow? Like how Em prays for strong hands and it usually works. I could pray for strong arms. Nah, that would definitely be cheating, which is not my style. Although, praying for something isn’t the same thing as doing a spell to make it happen, right? Because all you’re doing is asking the Gods and Goddesses to help you. If they do, that’s divine intervention and I’m sure they wouldn’t answer your prayer if helping you would be evil. So, maybe it’s worth praying for. Guess I’ll just have to see how I’m doing in the moment. All I know is I deserve to be on that team, partially because I’m a great swimmer and partially because of all the shit I’ve been through. So, I am certainly not about to rule praying out right now.
Arja and I are on our way home. We stayed at the gym for an hour and a half. I’m exhausted, but feeling pretty confident about my breast stroke and butterfly. Of course, if they already have people on the team who are famous for those then I might have to start specializing in something else. I really hope that doesn’t happen. Being on a team again is going to be a bit of an adjustment so I just don’t need the added stress of having to master something else. In any case, I’m trying to focus on swimming instead of Arja remembering my secret.
We’re listening to Kiss 108, which actually comes in at 107.9 but it’s been called Kiss 108 my whole life. They play the same 10 songs over and over again all day, but at least they play new stuff. A lot of radio stations around here just play ‘80s and 90s or easy listening crap like you hear in doctor’s offices. In any case, Kiss 108 can be my favorite or least favorite station, depending on what songs they have in heavy rotation. Right now “Hands to Myself” by Selena Gomez is on. I read that she’s really sick with lupus yet she doesn’t talk about it in interviews. Guess she doesn’t want people to pity her. I just think she’s incredibly strong.
Arja turns the radio down. “So, sister, I need to ask you a favor.”
Uh-oh. I knew that was coming. She’s my sister and I love her, but she wouldn’t just up and take me to the gym if she didn’t want something in return. Especially not now that she’s remembered my secret. “OK, I’m listening.”
“So, you know how I was saying there are no cute guys at work?” She started a bank teller job a month ago. Then her boyfriend dumped her because he lives an hour away and doesn’t drive and she couldn’t go see him as much now that she’s working full-time.
“I believe you mentioned it.”
“Well, a new guy started last week. Works in the loan department. Everyone’s calling him the loan shark because he’s so charming he could sell sand in the dessert.”
“And I take it he’s charmed you?”
She nods. “Yes, but, unfortunately, not on purpose. He barely even notices me. He sat a few chairs down at the lunchroom table yesterday and it was just us for five minutes and he didn’t say a word to me.”
“Did you try talking to him?” I bet she didn’t.
She shakes her head. “Nerves.”
This conversation is starting to make me impatient. “So, get to the part where you ask me this favor.” What the hell does she want?
“Well, I was just thinking, since you and Lia and Em are witches, maybe you could do a love spell to make him fall for me?”
I have to laugh. I just have to. Of all the things she could demand of us, she just wants some guy to fall for her?
Her nose twitches. “What’s so funny?”
I snicker again. “You.”
“Why?”
“Usually you have no trouble getting guys to go out with you. Now you’re so desperate you’re asking us to do a spell to get this loan shark’s attention?”
Her eyes squint a little as her brows dip. “You
’ll do it right?”
It’s not an outrageous request, but we don’t have a spell to make a specific person fall for you. “If I can find out how to do that.”
“You don’t have a love spell? You expect me to believe that?”
“Not that kind. But we do have a soulmate spell. You do it and it brings your soulmate to you. We could do that. We did it for Emma and she had her heart set on Jim and he asked her out the next day. But the guidance counselor came onto her, too. So, you could say the spell has side-effects.”
She raises an eyebrow. “So, it’ll probably make the guy from work ask me out but someone else will, too?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. That’s the thing.”
“But you’ll give it a try?”
“If Li and Em are OK with it.”
“C’mon, I’m keeping your secret and overlooking the fact that you must have used magick to make me forget it. The least you could do is make a guy fall for me.”
“You’re right. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.” Actually, they’re going to flip out when they find out she remembered we’re witches.
“Good. The guy’s name is Don Lee. Oh, and I have...” She reaches into her purse and digs for whatever she’s looking for.
I’m watching her look at first, but then I look up and see that we’ve swerved into the other lane and we’re about to hit a pick up truck. Instinctively, I grab the wheel and turn it ever so carefully until we’re back in our lane. Whew.
Arja grabs something from the purse. My hand is still on the wheel. A cruiser drives by, going in the opposite direction. The cop looks right at me as I withdraw my hand from the wheel. Please, Lord and Lady, don’t let him pull us over.
Arja plops something on my lap and grabs the wheel with two hands again. “Did you move the wheel?”
“Be grateful. We almost hit a pick up truck.”
“Oh.” She looks startled. Just a little.
In Memoriam Page 22