“Really? Haven’t you not quite felt like yourself recently? Haven’t your thoughts become dark and twisted? Full of vulgarities, perhaps?”
I don’t say anything. That doesn’t mean anything. Just because black magick has been screwing with me, especially today, doesn’t mean that fucking J is inside me. That’s completely ridiculous.
“He only tells the truth. I’m right here in your head,” I hear J say.
“Shut up!” I yell. I spin around, expecting to find her behind me, but I don’t see her anywhere. It was her voice, though. It’s unmistakable. Hideous.
She cackles. “Knock knock.”
“Shut up!”
“It’s me. Jenna! And there’s no point in straining your annoying voice. I’m inside your brain. It’s just that now you’re hearing me in my voice instead of yours. Oh yes, I’ve been controlling your thinking quite often lately!”
Inside my brain. Mind-control. What the hell?
[I’ve been here since you killed me, sweetie. Now let me take the wheel.]
“Never!” I shout out loud.
[You will submit or your friends will die. Although, I’m sure you’ll want one of them dead after Aetheal tells you the secrets they’ve been keeping from you. Oh, yes, your friends are a bunch of liars.]
“I’m not going to buy into your lies, demon!” I scream.
[He’s only going to speak the truth, Emma. If it hurts too much, let me take over. I can take away your pain.]
“The biggest revelation I have for you, Emma, concerns your boyfriend Jim, formerly known as Tim,” Aetheal says. “Although Tim was not his real name. That was just one of his many identities. His real name is Lawerence. Lawrence Vossler.”
“I could give a crap about that.” I know he’s had other identities before. Big deal. [Oh, it is a big deal. Prepare for our head to spin.]
The demon grins. “Here’s the thing, Emma: Lawerence Vossler is a vampire.”
“That’s insane.” I would have noticed if he was a vampire. Duh!
“That doesn’t make sense, I’m sure, but allow me to elaborate. He’s what they call a magick vampire. The kind that can use magick, but first they have to take it from someone else, which they can only do when they touch a magickal being. Like yourself.”
That doesn’t make any sense. If there were really magick vampires then surely our Book of Shadows or one of the other witchcraft books we have would’ve mentioned them.
“You’re very lucky, Emma, because he’s come close to killing you on more than one occasion. Have you not noticed how you become weak in the knees and dizzy whenever you so much as kiss? Has it not been that way every time he’s touched you, if only with his lips?”
Oh my God, that does happen! It happened during our first date at that party where he brought a bottle of sangria and we drank it and kissed outside. And it’s happened every time since. Even when I kissed him in the school parking lot today. I thought that was normal, but it didn’t happen when I kissed January. Kissing her just felt good, not draining. Or like I was experiencing something magickal, not having the magick sucked out of me. Could this demon be telling the truth?
[You know he speaks the truth. You’ve suspected that something was off about Jimbo throughout your entire relationship. It’s kept you from fully trusting him. And you were right not to. He was using you. It wasn’t a soulmate spell that drew him to you in the school yard that day. He could smell your magick. Vampires are drawn to it. They can sense it from a mile away.]
You might be inside my head, but you’re never taking over, J!
[If you let me, you’ll be saving your friends and you won’t hurt anymore. All that guilt you carry will be gone. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop blaming yourself for everything?]
I can’t believe she’s in my head. Fuck! No wonder I punched January and moved too fast. I knew that wasn’t like me. I tried to blame it on being sleep deprived or the black magick, but it was J. Fuck you, J!
“Even if you’re right about Jim, I’ll never let her take over!” I shout at the demon.
“Lawerence, why don’t you speak for yourself,” Aetheal says.
I look behind me as Sati lowers her trident from Jim’s neck.
I glare at him.
His head and eyes move just enough that I can tell he’s not paralyzed, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even open his mouth to try. Instead, he frowns slightly, swallows hard and makes hurt puppy dog eyes. I can’t believe this. It can’t be true. It can’t be true. He couldn’t have been using me all this time. He has to be my soulmate. He has to be.
“Didn’t you think it was odd how much you had in common?” Aetheal asks. My eyes are still on Tim. Or whatever the fuck his name is.
“I love you, Em” he says. “But, yes, magick is what drew me to you. At first.”
Sati puts the pitchfork back to his neck. I’m tempted to say do whatever you want with him, but I have a hunch that’s just J’s influence. I want you gone, J! Gone! What is it they say in the movies? The power of Christ compels you!
J laughs. [Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...] As always, it’s the most twisted, evil laugh I’ve ever heard. Even more sinister than the demon’s.
[Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...]
I’m about to turn back to Aetheal when Sati shoves her pitchfork deep into Jim’s neck. She hits both of his jugular veins with its prongs and blood starts spurting everywhere, getting on Lia, Shar and January. Pete and Juliana are far enough away that they don’t get sprayed. Ditto for George, the high priestess and the coven.
“Noooooo!” I scream and collapse to my knees.
I’m half-surprised that blood is even coming out of Jim after what I just learned. I get up and run over, feeling obligated to help him, but by the time I reach him, Sati has pulled the trident out of him and he falls to the ground. Gurgling blood. I turn the electricity back on and punch Sati in the face with an electrical fist, but she barely flinches then she extends her trident, pressing the prongs against my abdomen. So hard that it feels like they’re piercing my skin. And it burns.
I grab the pitchfork with my electrified hands and Sati sure feels it. Her body lights up to the point that you can see her skeleton for a couple of seconds as she goes flying backwards, soaring over the rose bushes into the neighbor’s yard, where I assume she hits the ground. I bend over and pick up her trident, which immediately lights up from the trillion volts flowing through me.
The Donatello twins look like they’re ready to murder my sisters. In fact, one of them scrapes Shar’s neck with a prong of her trident and smirks at me as it starts bleeding. “Screw you, Emma! Just let Jenna take over or I will kill her and you know it.”
[Just surrender already! You know you can’t win this fight! Why let your friends die with you? Besides, you don’t want to hear the rest of their secrets. Unless you want the rest of your soul to be destroyed.]
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
“Do we have to kill more of your friends?” Aetheal asks.
“No!” I yell.
[You shouldn’t have done that to Sati. I’d say it’s a pity about your boyfriend, but he really was a vampire and you know it. And part of you is glad he’s gone. Why don’t you admit it and let me seize control before anyone else gets hurt?]
No fucking way, I’ll never submit to you, you evil fucking bitch. And he might’ve been a vampire, but I have no doubt that he also loved me.
[One, you’re speaking my language! Two, there’s no way he could’ve kept such a big secret from you if he truly loved you.]
“Look at me,” Aetheal demands.
I look him in the right eye. Maybe if I whip this trident into it he’ll die or break his concentration and they’ll stop being paralyzed.
[You couldn’t hurt him with a tank, never mind your electricity.]
I’m about to say we blinded one of his eyes, but he closes it for a beat then when he opens it it’s back to normal, solid black and undamaged. Merde, merde, merde!
[
You’re not nearly as strong as you think. Look at how many of you it took to kill me! And you didn’t even get rid of me. You just gave me the opportunity to get inside your head and stay there. Now your younger body will be mine and your soul will shrink into this tiny ball that can do nothing but sit back and watch the carnage. Unless you surrender right now and I let you have sweet dreams about your January while you’re back there. Think about it. You can have January every month of the year! It’ll be like living in the real world. Your other friends will be there, too. It’ll be paradise. Like the Summerland. And you’ll believe it’s all real the whole time. Except that no one will die or grow old unless you want them to. You could even make your parents younger.]
“Listen to her,” Aetheal says. “Doesn’t paradise sound nice? But if you’re not ready for my princess to take over, perhaps I should tell you about some other secrets your other so-called friends are keeping?”
“My friends don’t keep secrets from me!” I yell. I’m so tempted to hurl this electrified trident into one of his eyes, but I realize it’d be futile. I just hope Sati is dead. Even if Jim was a fucking vampire.
[You know he was a fucking vampire. Admit that part of you is relieved that he’s dead. And Sati shoved that pitchfork all the way up into his brain. No way he’s coming back to life this time. To be extra sure, we’re going to chop him up and bury the pieces all over.]
Damn it! How am I supposed to think straight with her inside my head? This is my worst fear coming true. Ever since I saw The Exorcist when I was 9, I’ve worried about getting possessed. I even talked to a priest about it, but he said if I was able to ask myself if I was possessed then it meant I wasn’t because I wouldn’t be able to ask myself that if I was. And I’m saying I am not possessed!
[Oh, but you are, you silly little girl.]
“Your closest friends, Lia and Sharan, are keeping a secret from you,” Aetheal says.
“Liar!” I yell.
“I’m only speaking the truth. Just this morning Lia had a premonition that your father died from a heart attack and she told Shar. But did either of them tell you?”
That can’t be true. The three of us don’t keep secrets from each other. That’s a solemn vow we’ve taken. And there’s no way they’d keep a secret about my dad dying.
[He’s telling you the truth. They’ve betrayed you.]
I look at Lia and Shar. I wish they weren’t paralyzed so I could see whatever expressions they’d make.
Aetheal points at them. “As you wish.”
Lia and Shar become unparalyzed and the twins lower their tridents a few inches away from their necks. They both look scared to death.
“Is the demon telling the truth?” I ask them.
“It just happened this afternoon,” Lia says. “We wanted to wait until tomorrow to tell you because you were so stressed about tonight.”
“It’s not supposed to happen until your mother’s birthday,” Shar says.
I guess I can kind of understand that. If it’s not supposed to happen until next week.
Aetheal raises his voice. “Oh, you’re prepared to forgive them already? Let’s see how easily they forgive you when I tell them your secret.”
“I don’t have any secrets from them!”
[Yes you do. Yes you do.]
I swear, every time Aetheal speaks his voice grows louder. “Have you no recollection of your conversation with George? The one you had last time you were at his store?”
Shit. I know what he’s talking about now.
[That’s right, you’re a lying cunt, just like they are!]
“He told you that you possessed more black magick than your friends because you played a greater role in killing Jenna, did he not?” Aetheal demands.
I don’t say anything. I’m trying to find a way to explain it. I just look at Lia and Shar apologetically.
“How could you keep such an important secret?” Shar asks. “You’ve been putting us all at risk.”
My teeth chatter as I speak, I’m so nervous. “We had our necklaces. I thought that would keep it under control.”
Lia and Shar both shake their heads and look like they’re condemning me.
[They’re not going to want anything to do with you now, Emma. You kept a dangerous secret from them. And you chose not to wear your necklace this morning. You wanted to prove to yourself that you didn’t need it. That you were more powerful than the black magick. But you weren’t. Look what you did to your fairy friend!]
That’s not true. I did not choose to leave my necklace off this morning. Of that much, I am certain.
“George told me not to tell you.” I say to Lia and Shar. “He said not to burden you with it. That you’d worry about me too much.”
Lia and Shar look disgusted and glare at George even though he’s still paralyzed.
“I’m sorry,” I say to my girls.
“Look where your secret got us!” Lia yells.
“You can still save them,” Aetheal says. “Simply accept Jenna and allow her to take control.”
[Just say you accept me. It’s that easy. You know you want to. That your friends will disown you after today. So, what’s the point in being you? Is being your pathetic little self worth their lives?]
They will have me back. I know they’ll forgive me in time.
[They won’t live that long. If you don’t let me take over, Aetheal will kill them. Or, maybe he’ll have the twins do it. Of course, if he tells the twins you killed Sati with your high voltage shit then he won’t have to ask them.]
I killed the bitch? Awesome!
Aetheal stomps his foot. Harder this time. The ground cracks again and comes open so close to January that a slight breeze could cause her to fall in.
“Worried about losing your girlfriend January?” Aetheal asks. “She didn’t even tell you about her second mission, which you blew, as you well know. And she was always going to choose Pete. She just wanted to experiment with you.”
I turn to January. “I’ve already forgiven you. Just tell me I wasn’t going to be some experiment that you’d use then throw away?”
“You weren’t. Never. Not for a second.”
“Absolve her all you want, Emma. It won’t make a difference when we slaughter her! So, what will it be?” Aetheal demands. “Either you accept Jenna or your friends all die. It’s that simple. And you make your decision now.”
[Make a decision, make a decision. Just accept me already. The next thing you know, you’ll be getting up for school in the morning and you’ll have the best day ever.]
I don’t believe that. I can’t trust you. You’d just shove me way down in some hole and do whatever you want.Put me in a cell like you did to your sister!
My phone rings in my pocket.
“You should answer that,” Aetheal says.
I’m confused. Why does he want me to answer my phone when he’s dying for me to let J take over already?
Aetheal raises his voice. “Answer it. I insist.”
Fine. I’ll answer the fucking phone. My hand shaking, I take it out of my pocket. It’s my mother calling.
“Mom?” I say. Lord and Lady, please don’t let dad have had a heart attack.
“I’m afraid I have some very bad news, Em.”
Holy fuck. It takes me a moment just to mutter, “What?”
“I just received a call from Krystal’s parents. I’m afraid she took her own life tonight.”
What? That’s not possible! She wasn’t suicidal. “No, no – it can’t be. I’m supposed to visit her tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry, Em,” mom says.
“Me, too.” My phone slips out of my hand. It bounces upon hitting the ground then goes flying into one of the cracks in the ground. I drop down to my knees because my legs start shaking too much to stand.
“What is it?” January asks.
“Krystal,” I mutter. “She committed suicide.”
January’s jaw drops.
“You’re no good for a
nyone, Emma.” Aetheal says. “Now decide!”
Now I know what Ruth meant by be mindful of yourself. She was trying to alert me to the fact that there were thoughts in my stupid head that didn’t belong to me! That I should be mindful of myself, as opposed to the someone else that was screwing with me. Get the fuck out of me, J!
[Jamais, jamais, jamais! You know what that means!]
“Decide!” Aetheal screams. It’s tantamount to having a lion roar two feet in front of your face. Then he grabs the backyard’s biggest tree and rips it out of the ground, getting dirt in everyone’s faces, including mine.
Before I can say a word, he slams the tree down on George’s house, like he’s hitting the roof with a hammer, decimating it. “Should I clobber your friends with this?”
No, no, no. This can’t be happening. It just can’t. J, you need to get the fuck out of my head now. Go possess one of the twins. I’m sure either of them would love to have you.
[Ah, but possessing someone who immediately accepts you wouldn’t be very fun. I’m enjoying the challenge of corrupting someone like you. And now you’ve crossed lines you can’t go back from. Your friendships are ruined. Poor twelve year old virgin Krystal is dead. Just submit to me already. Say you accept me.]
Aetheal holds the tree up above his head and it bursts into flames. “Accept my princess or your friends will all pay the price!” Without even waiting for me to say something, he slams the bottom of the tree – the roots, which are ablaze like the rest of it – down on George’s coven, including George and the high priestess. Since they’re paralyzed, there are no screams and nobody tries to get out from under it.
I’m too shocked to say anything. I run over and try to pull George out from under the tree because his arms and torso are sticking out, but the ends of the tree’s roots turn into snake heads and start biting him and the other members of the coven. One bites George in the back of his neck and another his left hip. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is all my fault. First I got Kat killed, now George and the whole coven. I can’t believe this is actually happening.
[Oh, but it is, Emma!]
“Do you want your friends to suffer the same fate?” Aetheal asks. “I won’t ask again.”
In Memoriam Page 41