Fine. He’d probably pushed her too far tonight anyway. He’d give her some time to think about what he’d said. Maybe he wasn’t the man for her, but he certainly knew she deserved someone who treated her better than Dan did. The guy hadn’t even helped her keep her car running, for goodness’ sake.
He gestured to the cabin farthest from them. “Let’s start over there with that one.”
The cabins were small, the largest having only two rooms, but they were made of log to match the main house and good and sturdy. Mostly finished but still empty of furniture, each had multiple decks that overlooked the ocean and beach below.
Despite the strain still looming in the air between them, Marie sucked in a breath of awe when she walked into the entryway. She took in the cedar-paneled ceiling with the skylight, ran a hand over the cherry cupboards in the kitchen, and trudged up the pine half-log staircase to examine the loft. Throughout the walk through she held her silence, but when she stepped out onto the stone slate patio at the back, she breathed out, “Wow.”
He stepped up and leaned next to her at the rail.
A fog was rolling in. Far out against the horizon, all was a curtain of white, but the rocky coastline and white lines of frothy waves were still clear and sunny. Hot pink wild peas and bright yellow daisies dotted the coastline.
“These places are amazing. Your dad is a genius to have built up here.”
Reece put his back to the view and leaned his elbows against the rail, studying her face.
She had baby-blue eyes that held the power to knock the breath right out of him, long, wavy brown hair, and a pretty mouth that could drive him to distraction at the most inappropriate times. Like right now.
She cut a glance toward him, apparently having felt his study.
He kept his focus on her, knowing that, more than anything, he wanted a chance to get to know her again.
Giving a sharp little shake of her head, she strode back through the cabin. “Show me the other units and tell me what you have in mind.”
The next morning Marie climbed down from Reece’s truck in the church parking lot and helped Alyssa out of her car seat. Since Dan had disappeared at the party last night, she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him if he could pick them up this morning, and after that it had just seemed easier to stick with the plan and have Reece get them. Now she was second-guessing her decision. The warm feeling of completion it had given her to ride to church with him wasn’t something she should be feeling.
She reached in and snagged the large Tupperware filled with the still-warm cinnamon rolls she’d stayed up late to make the night before and baked this morning.
Reece had come around the truck and now waited to shut the door for her.
“Thanks, Reece.” She grabbed Alyssa’s hand and hustled across the parking lot to hurry down to the preschool wing. She hoped Reece would meet up with Dakota and that she could find Dan and talk him into giving her a ride home. Maybe Reece would forget about his lunch invitation and she could escape the torture of being glared at by his mother all afternoon.
Not to mention the torture of being around Reece. His admiring looks and compliments were trying her resolve to guard her heart from his charm, and guard his heart from her mistakes.
When she’d opened her door to his knock this morning, his eyes had lit up. “Hi, beautiful,” he’d said as he swept a look from her hair to her shoes and back again so quickly she might have missed it if she’d blinked.
That’s when the warm fuzzies had started. And she was still trying to shake them.
He’d inhaled appreciatively and whined conspiratorially with Alyssa all the way to church about how Marie didn’t care enough about either one of them to let them have a cinnamon roll early. And she’d caught herself laughing and slapping his hand as he’d tried to sneak off the lid to the container and steal a roll as he drove one handed.
So, okay, she was lying to herself again that she hoped he would run into Dakota, but it was what she knew was the right thing for him. What she should want.
“Mama, I’m hungry!” Alyssa tugged on her hand.
“Well, you should have eaten the cereal I gave you instead of only eating the cinnamon roll.”
“What!? She got a cinnamon roll?” Instead of letting himself be left behind, Reece kept pace with her. He reached for Alyssa and swung her up, tickling her mercilessly. “You didn’t tell me you’d already gotten one, Superwoman! Your mom wouldn’t even let me sniff them! Now I’m really hurt!”
Alyssa giggled and gave Reece as good as she got. “Mama must like me more!”
“What!” Reece set her on her feet. “You better run, little miss, because when I catch you, I’m going to give you a tickling you won’t soon forget.”
With a squeal Alyssa took off.
Reece caught her in four strides and gave her his promised retaliation.
Marie couldn’t help but chuckle even as she called, “Come on, you two, we’re going to be late!”
Alyssa hadn’t taken two more steps before they were right back where they started. “Mama, I’m hungry.”
“Honey, you just want another cinnamon roll. You’ll get a snack in Sunday school and another in children’s church, and we’ll have hot dogs and chili when we get home.”
“But I don’t like hot dogs.”
“Well, we’ll try to get something different the next time we go grocery shopping.”
“You always say that! And we still eat hot dogs and chili.”
She supposed that was true. Because she always seemed to run out of money in the grocery budget. But this was not the time or place to discuss her finances. Especially not since she could feel Reece studying her with a touch of speculation and understanding as he held one of the church doors open for them. Marie clenched her jaw and kept moving.
Great. Now he probably saw them as a charity case. But would it be so bad to be his charity case? That did it. She was losing her resolve to keep him at arm’s length. And that just wouldn’t do. She needed space to regain her determination. How was she going to ditch him?
She needn’t have worried. Reece’s mom and Dakota stood chatting in the foyer, Darlene smiling and engaged in a way that showed she really liked the younger woman.
“Reece!” Darlene called, gesturing for him to come over.
Dakota looked amazing in a long gypsy skirt and beaded orange blouse that made her tan beautiful against her blonde hair.
Marie waved at her with a smile and took advantage of Reece’s distraction to zip Alyssa down the hallway toward the preschool wing.
“But I wanted to say good-bye to Mr. Reece!” Poor Alyssa was practically running to keep up.
Marie slowed down. “I know, baby. But he’s busy right now. We’ll have to see him afterward to get your car seat. Uncle Kylen and Aunt Taysia are your teachers this month. Won’t that be fun?”
“Yay!”
Marie eased out a breath of relief that her daughter was so easily distracted.
This was another reason for her to stay away from Reece. So Alyssa wouldn’t get too attached to him.
After she dropped off Alyssa, she set her cinnamon rolls in the classroom where her Sunday school class would meet during the second service while Alyssa went to children’s church. She took a moment to scan her notes. Even though it was only a five-minute talk, she was a bit nervous about sharing in front of the whole class. But it was tradition. Everyone who signed up to bring a treat also gave a five-minute mini devotional at the beginning of the class time. At least she’d be able to get it over with quickly. Hopefully what she planned to share would make sense and reach people. Taysia had looked it over on Friday at work and, with tears in her eyes, told her it was amazing.
Marie wasn’t so sure. She chewed her lip and stuffed the paper back into her purse as she headed for the sanctuary. Sure, she’d been able to get it all down on paper, but would she be able to say all the stuff bumbling around in her heart? That was if she could even make herself ge
t up in front of everyone when the time came. Sheesh! She eased out a breath. Lord, I’m going to need a big kick in the seat of the pants when it’s time to share, and maybe an extra helping of peace to take away these jitters would be nice too.
The service had already started when she slid into the back pew. She hadn’t had time to look for Dan, but he would probably find her once he arrived. He was notorious for being late to church. And if she didn’t see him here, she would likely see him at the pickup basketball game the youth usually put together for a few minutes after church. Dan, Kylen, and Taysia were generally the ones who helped the youth pastor, Blaine, supervise the youth.
Even though most everyone was standing, she sank down onto the padded bench. She just needed a moment off her feet. It felt like she’d been rushing for forever. It had been a long week, capped off by a lot of emotional turmoil.
She closed her eyes and pulled in a slow breath, then eased it out through pursed lips. Her thoughts turned to Reece. She clenched her teeth. Lord, I’m really going to need Your help not to be selfish for the next few weeks. Help me to remember to put Reece’s needs above my own. And help Reece to see he’d be better off with someone like Dakota than with me.
Beside her the cushion sank, indicating someone had sat beside her. A fleeting moment of thankfulness that Dan had found her disappeared as Reece’s cologne registered with a pleasant ripple of awareness.
She deflated and kept her eyes closed. Lord? Were You listening?
Maybe He had been. Maybe this was a test.
She turned her gaze on Reece. He was singing, but gave her his attention and quirked a brow as though to ask what she wanted.
He looked different without his Stetson. She’d forgotten how curly his hair was. He had it trimmed close on the sides and a touch longer on the top. Just mussed enough to invite the combing of her fingers. She fisted her hand.
Leaning closer, she whispered, “Dan usually sits by me.”
“If he shows up, I’ll move,” he whispered back.
“What if he shows up and sees you here and gets the wrong idea?”
“If he doesn’t boot me out of the way, he doesn’t deserve you. He better learn to fight for what he wants.”
An elderly lady in front of them turned and shushed them with a scowl.
Reece leaned even closer and spoke right into her ear. “Like I am.”
Marie snatched up her bulletin and dug in her purse for a pen. “What about what I want?!?” she scrawled, giving “I want” three quick underlines. She thrust the paper at him.
He read it, then reached over and took the pen from her hand. “What do you want?” He’d underlined the word “do.”
Marie felt a surge of anger so forceful she almost hucked the pen he handed back to her across the sanctuary. What did she want? She stuffed the pen back into her purse and shoved the bulletin into the case on the iPad Kylen and Taysia had given her last Christmas.
What did she want?
She wanted everyone to be happy. That’s what. Alyssa. Reece. Dan. Darlene. Dakota. Myself. The problem was, there didn’t seem to be a way to make everyone happy in this situation.
But if making others happy curtailed her own happiness a little, so be it.
Now if only the stubborn man beside her would just open his eyes and see what was best for him.
Chapter 9
Marie swallowed hard and smoothed her hands over her skirt as Brad Tolland, the leader of their Sunday school class, closed the opening prayer.
He scanned the room and smiled brightly. “Before we get into today’s lesson, we are privileged to have Marie Sinclair bring us our Sweet Inspirations segment this morning.”
Marie stood on jellylike legs. She was glad she hadn’t given in to the temptation to eat one of the cinnamon rolls this morning as she pulled them out of the oven, or someone on the front row would likely soon be wearing it.
Breathe. Just breathe.
Thankfully Reece had been called away by his rather perturbed mother just after the main service had come to an end, and Marie had cut and run for this room without him following. She’d be even more of a nervous wreck if he were in the room, because he, of all people, knew intimately some of the journey she planned to share.
She stopped behind the much-too-skinny podium, smoothed out her notes, then white-knuckled the edges. She forced a smile and eye contact. “Good morning, everyone. First, I’ll ask you to say a quick prayer for me—and for yourselves, because I don’t want anyone to leave wearing my breakfast.”
A chuckle rippled through the room even as Marie felt her face heat. Why had she said that? It certainly hadn’t been in her notes.
She glanced down at the paper. Focus. “Seriously, when Brad asked if I’d be willing to do a Sweet Inspirations slot, I totally didn’t want to do it, but I told him I’d think about it. All that week, so many little things happened that reminded me of how far God has brought me, and I really felt this strong sense God wanted me to do this.” Her gaze landed on Dakota. A friendly face! Thank You, Jesus. “So the next time Brad asked, I said yes…reluctantly, very reluctantly…but Brad got his yes, nonetheless.”
Another chuckle. Maybe she wasn’t going to bomb this as badly as she’d feared.
“For my treat this morning, I made cinnamon rolls.”
“And they’re great too!” Graham Sanders called from the back of the room with a full mouth.
Marie smiled as a rumble of humor spread through the room. “Thanks, Graham. Anyhow, I wanted to relate those to the woman at the well we read about in John chapter four. Cinnamon rolls wouldn’t be much without the filling. If there was no butter or cinnamon and sugar wrapped up inside all the dough, they wouldn’t be much to speak of. But just adding those few ingredients sort of brings them to life, you know?”
Several nodded. At the back of the room, a few people were still dishing rolls onto paper plates and grabbing coffee from the dispenser. This was casual. She could do this. She took a breath.
“Before I met Jesus, I was a lot like the woman at the well. I’d had a lot going on in my life. Had searched for true, real, lasting love for a long time.” She swallowed. “My mother chose to leave my father and me when I was ten years old for another man. I haven’t ever seen her since she walked out the door. She ruffled my hair, said she was going to the store for a few minutes, and never came back. My father found out from one of her friends that she’d moved across the country with a man she’d been seeing for quite some time.” Marie paused to regain her composure. “My father turned to drinking. He was in and out of jail, and I often stayed with my aunt, who resented having to take care of me. She had her own two problem children.”
She met Dakota’s eyes and saw so much pain there it was like a punch in the gut. She needed to lighten this up.
“Anyhow, the long story short, my dad was arrested when I was just sixteen for breaking and entering with intent to harm. He got seven years. I was on my own. My aunt said she wouldn’t take me, that I was old enough to take care of myself.”
Several tsks reached her ears.
Marie pressed her lips together. She was about to get to the hardest part. But this was important. God, use my patheticness to reach someone. To keep them from traveling so far down the path I traveled. “I was all alone and I felt so…needy. I had this hollow ache inside I knew I needed to fill or die trying. But I had no idea where to look.”
At the back of the room, one of the blonde Blackburn twins rolled her eyes and fiddled with one of the three diamond lip rings in her upper lip. Her expression said she was having a hard time believing Marie’s story. Either that or Marie shouldn’t have let it control her life.
Marie pressed on despite the knot which formed in her stomach. “So I looked pretty much everywhere. I looked in drugs. But thankfully I didn’t like the feeling of waking up and not being able to remember where I’d been or anything that had happened the night before. Maybe it was God’s way of sparing me from that road.” She s
hrugged. “I looked in alcohol. But again, my father had always been such a drinker booze never appealed to me much. About that time our landlord figured out Dad was gone, and he kicked me out of the house we’d been renting. That was when I turned to…men.”
She felt warmth crawling up her neck. Why had she thought this was a good idea? Didn’t a lot of people in the church already look down on her enough because she’d had a daughter out of wedlock?
Dakota offered a little nod of encouragement and Marie could have run over and hugged her.
“At first it was just to get a little money or have a bed to sleep in for the night. And then, it just sort of became the thing I did. I knew it wasn’t right. And I knew it wasn’t filling me up. But I didn’t know where else to turn.”
She flipped her notes over. “About that time I was walking through town when I happened to see Mom’s Gym was hiring a receptionist.” She laughed. “Many of you know Taysia Sumner owns that place, and I have to tell you, I have no explanation for why she hired me other than she told me years later she saw a lost soul and knew giving me a job was a way to help.”
Great, now she was going to cry. “The woman at the well had had five husbands. I was like her in a way, only worse. I’d tried everything. Every guy who would have me. I was still hollow. No butter. No sugar. No cinnamon. But slowly over that first year I worked for Taysia, I saw something in her…something I knew I was craving, but just didn’t quite know how to get my hands on. She started bringing me to church and got me a Bible, which I barely read.”
More chuckles relieved a bit more of her tension. She was almost through.
“I was still doing my thing, but oh man, how I wanted the inner peace, joy, and kindness I saw in her. The Bible says people will know us by our love, and let me tell you, Taysia did a LOT of loving on me. She helped me get into a place and probably gave me more chances when I goofed up at work than a Dalmatian has spots. It wasn’t until after I got pregnant with my daughter, Alyssa, that I finally was hit one day by what a rotten sinner I was. It took that long for my eyes to be opened. I know Taysia did a lot of praying for me. And the Holy Spirit was working on me.
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