A sharp, bittersweet tug pulled at his heart as if a rope linked him to her. Longing for her, and what she described, curled inside him. “Maybe we should have been born in a different time.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she said equally as soft.
For long minutes, she stood silently by his side. Two kindred spirits, Jake mused, feeling like one with her, feeling whole for only the second time in his life. The first being when he’d made love to her. The simmering tension of the last week and a half evaporated for the moment.
He realized the tender spot he once held for his pesky admirer had grown. Now, the remarkable woman had touched the deepest part of him and tapped into a pool of hidden emotions residing in his core.
I just want someone to love me.
“What is it you want, Jake? Your dearest, most heartfelt desire?” She leaned close, close enough for a waft of her wildflower scent to tickle his nose and his nerve endings. “Your freedom, right? Just ask your fairy godmother, and I’ll grant you your wish.”
Her earnest appeal made him chuckle. How in the world could she give him that when being with her, just looking at her brought frightening visions of a lasting life with her?
She came nearer, only scant inches from him. Her eyes, light and breathtaking, held an urgent, almost desperate need. “Ask me, Jake.”
Liquid fire suffused his body. His head buzzed with the intoxicating sight of her. His senses sharpened, heightened. Gut-wrenching yearning gripped him, refusing to release him from her spell. He closed his eyes, breaking the contact, but not the magic. Looking at her once again, he swallowed hard. “All right, can you give me my freedom?”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized the double-edged meaning. She had to cut the ties and put an end to this erotic entanglement. Because I sure the hell can’t.
She smiled sadly. “Abracadabra.” Callie waved an imaginary wand. “Your wish is granted, Jake Lassiter. You’re free.”
“If only it were that simple.”
“It is. It’s your choice.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “All you have to do is sign over guardianship of your cousins to me. I’ll stay here, look after them, guide them, and do whatever it takes until Lance reaches eighteen. At that time, they’ll be considered adults and won’t have to worry about social workers taking them away.”
Shock sliced through him. A dull roar blasted in his ears, growing in intensity. Give up my cousins? Had he heard her right?
Once he regained a semblance of control, he asked, “You want the boys? Why? What’s in it for you?”
“They need a home and someone to care for them. As for me, you can go on paying me the same rate. In three years, I just might have enough money socked away to buy Gramps’ ranch off you or whoever will own this place by then.”
He frowned, still stunned and with an emptiness inside.
On tiptoe, she stood and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The soft, delicate touch stirred him. She drew away, turning to leave. He grabbed her hand, halting her.
“Why are you doing this?” He searched her gaze, now moist and filled with love. His heart hitched.
“Because, silly, I’m your fairy godmother, and I want you to be happy and see that all your dreams come true.”
Unconditional love.
She pulled away then, but he held onto her as long as possible, her palm stroking his, her fingers brushing his, and fingertips sensuously sliding across his.
His heart stilled at her explanation, and then kicked into high gear, thundering in his chest. He watched her walk away, a tiny sway in her hips. Craving stabbed him. And a deep-seated feeling merged and grew, sweeping away the lingering remnants of cobwebs tangled with denial.
“Ah hell,” he whispered, discovering the truth, accepting his fate. His fairy godmother waved her magic wand, transforming him into a man deeply, irrevocably in love.
Chapter 21
Callie released the wailing calf, the heavy, stinging scent of branded hair and hide filling her nostrils. And the distinctive hiss, mingled with the familiar sounds of vocal cowhands and bawling cattle all around her, echoed in her mind. She straightened. With one hand rubbing her sore back, she swiped the back of her other hand across her damp brow.
“That’s the last one for today,” Jake said, gingerly laying aside the searing Lazy L branding iron. He looked up, capturing her gaze.
Her heart tripped over itself, thundering in her eardrums. A fine sheen of sweat covered his dirt-streaked face, but he looked wonderful to her. Swallowing hard, she forced a smile and stuck out a gloved hand. “Good job, partner.”
He took her hand, holding it for long, lingering moments. If Callie thought the rawhide protection would shield her from the sensual touch of him, she was wrong. Dead wrong. A current buzzed from the point of contact, up her arm, and through the rest of her body.
Pulling free, she stuffed her tingling hand in her back pocket. “I’ll get Chessie and help herd the cattle to the summer pasture.”
“Forget it. Take the rest of the day off.”
“But there’s still a lot to do before nightfall.”
He shook his head. “Don’t argue with the boss. There’s enough of us here to do the job. I’ll walk you up to the house. There’s something we need to discuss.” He turned to his crew of bedraggled men, shouting out orders.
Fear gripped her. As she climbed over the corral rail, she wondered if Jake intended to dismiss her from his ranch, from his life.
The hard, sweaty work took its toll on everyone involved, Callie knew. She’d tended to his cousins’ many cuts, scrapes, and blisters since the first day. Now, with six days into spring round-up and only one more to go, she suddenly felt dispensable.
A few seconds later, walking by his side, silence stretched like a bull digging in his hooves and yanking on a rope, ready to snap. The taut air hummed and pulsed with thick, swirling energy.
He slowed his pace to match her much shorter strides. At one point, his arm brushed against hers. Her insides jerked in alarm, her blood pounding wildly in her veins.
Stiffly, she walked up the creaky porch stairs, dreading the outcome. She turned to him as he leaned against the post, crossing his arms over his chest and one foot over the other, his booted toe digging into the wooden floor.
She crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping for the best. “Well, now that you have me all to yourself, what are you going to do with me?” She kicked herself mentally as soon as the words escaped. Her voice, soft and sultry, issued an invitation, a very intimate one. Would he take her up on it or reject her?
He jerked his head to her, locking gazes. A flare blasted in the depths of his amber eyes. Just as quickly, he extinguished it, snubbing the embers before flames erupted.
Disappointment shafted through Callie. He doesn’t want me enough. I’m probably like all the others to him. A one-night stand. That last thought brought a well of despair.
He cleared his throat. “It’s about the boys.”
Through the unshed tears, she smiled fondly at the mention of his cousins. “They’re doing great, aren’t they? Oh, I know they got a little upset about the vaccination needles for the cattle and downright queasy during the castration process, but I don’t know any man who doesn’t sweat over the last part, do you?” If all else fails try humor, Callie girl.
He chuckled. The unexpected husky sound warmed Callie, making her toes curl, reminding her of their lovemaking when he did the same in her ear. Tiny thrills shot down her spine.
“You’re right about that.” He paused, averting his eyes. The air suddenly thickened with smothering tension. “I wanted you to know I’ve considered your suggestion about the boys’ guardianship. I don’t think it’s a good idea. It can’t be done …”
A sliver of ice pierced her heart. Cold perspiration bathed her body, chilling her. Don’t take the boys away from me, too. Not after I’ve gone and fallen head over heels in love with all the Lassiter men. “Of course it can. The legalities are simp
le enough. Just have your lawyer draw up the necessary papers and we’ll sign them.”
Jake returned his stare to her face, now blanched as white as an animal skeleton in the bleaching, unrelenting sun. An invisible hand squeezed his chest, twisting him in agony. He’d hurt her, unintentionally, but he had nevertheless.
How could he explain it? Maybe if he told her how deeply her talk of families and her easy dismissal of blood lines had affected him, freed him from a sense of a binding, unwanted duty, then she’d understand.
He simplified as best he could. “It’s not the legal aspect that’s stopping me. It’s the family obligation. My aunt and uncle entrusted them to me. And Duke would have wanted me to do this for the boys.”
A wealth of feelings chased across her features from disbelief, to confusion, to anger, and a whole host of others, all shifting, blending, and then leaving.
Jake ached for her, feeling the rioting emotions as if they were connected. In a sense, he felt they were. Love, he suspected, did the strangest things to people.
“I guess that means I can forget about Gramps’ land.” She waited for his curt nod, and then went on, “So are you saying you’re not doing the rodeo circuit this year?” He heard hope along with shock.
“I’m still going.” He winced as she jerked back.
“Am I fired or not?”
He frowned. “Hell no! I’m trying to ask you to stay on and take care of the boys at least until the end of the school term when Stan graduates. That’s a few more weeks and I’ll double your present pay.”
“And after that, what happens to them?”
“I’ll take the boys on the road with me for a couple of weeks. Maybe by then they can help me figure out what to do with them since it’s obvious they’re not cut out to be ranchers.” Weariness settled on his shoulders; that had been the hardest thing for him to face. He dragged a hand over his face. “What do you say, Callie?”
“I’ll do it on one condition.”
Uneasiness slithered in his bones and a dull ache began behind his left temple. Gathering his courage, he asked, “And that is?”
“I don’t want a penny more than I’m getting now. I know it sounds crazy since I’m trying to save up, but, as it is, I feel like I’m stealing your money from you since this is the most fun I’ve ever had working.”
Shock crashed down on him, heavy and jolting. He figured the extra money would entice her to stay. Why would she give up that kind of cash? Why would she stay otherwise? “That’s it? Isn’t there something else you want?” He knew that happened to be a very loaded question, but he asked it anyway.
Her light green eyes, suddenly lit from within, made him suck in his breath. Love stole into his heart, whisking away the darkness, chasing light and warmth into the long, empty corridors of his soul.
In a husky whisper that stirred him to a fever pitch, she said, “Oh, there’s a lot of things I want, Jake Lassiter.”
***
Jake slowed his steps as he entered the tomb-like kitchen. He dropped his heavy leather duffel bag onto the floor. It hit with a dull thud.
He scanned the usually cheery room. The four occupants remained withdrawn and sullen. Marvin, sitting on a counter, cast his vacant gaze downward, his recently cut hair falling forward. Stan sprawled in a chair, his arms crossed over his chest and staring off into space. Lance sat nearby with his elbows propped up on the table and his head bowed in his cupped hands. Jake allowed himself to turn to Callie, her back ramrod straight and facing him as she stood looking out the kitchen window. His heart clutched in his chest, knowing he caused their mutual dismay.
Clearing his throat, he broke the silence. The tension remained, thick and ominous. “Well, I’m off. I’ve talked to Gus and Flossie and they’ll check in with you often. If you need anything, just ask them. And there’s always Mrs. Hudson in a pinch. She’s not much of a night person, but she said she’d come out here.”
Lance pinned him with a stare. “You’re not coming back, are you?”
The boy’s red-rimmed eyes met his. Jake felt as low as a pile of manure. Moving to Lance, Jake patted him affectionately on the shoulder. “Of course I am. We talked this all out. I’ll call a couple of times a week, maybe even stop by now and then when the rodeo schedule permits. And, as soon as school lets out, the three of you will join me on the road.” Jake realized he had to force a brightness into his voice he didn’t particularly feel. God, I’m going to miss them.
“What about Callie? Can she come, too?” Marvin grilled, putting Jake on the spot.
Callie came to his rescue. Turning, she faced the room, refusing to glance his way. “Don’t be silly. It’s a guy thing. No girls allowed, fellas. And, anyhow, maybe by that time I’ll have bought my spread and moved on.”
Dread hit Jake. The mere thought of her leaving sent his heart plummeting to his knees. He prayed she said that just to appease the boys. But he knew he couldn’t ask for more, wasn’t entitled to when he couldn’t offer her anything more than what he already had.
“In Montana, right?” Stan asked hopefully, shifting in his chair.
“Yeah, we wouldn’t know what to do without you,” Lance said. His voice struck a high note and cracked.
“Montana’s my home. Always has been and always will be.” Her assurance gained a round of smiles from the boys.
Something kicked him in the gut. She hadn’t directly answered the question. Evading a yes or no worked for his cousins but not for him, not by a long shot. He bit back the demanding need to discover the truth; he had no rights where she was concerned.
A few minutes later, Jake, along with the others, stood beside his beat-up pickup truck. Stan hoisted the duffel bag into the back. It hit with a clatter.
“Don’t worry about a thing, Jake,” Stan said, shaking hands. “You can count on me.” A quiver of emotion tugged at his chin.
“Good.” Jake nodded curtly, thinking the boy tried unsuccessfully to be a man. A notch of confidence in Jake’s plans of freedom chipped wide open, dropping away and disintegrating. If he stayed much longer, he wouldn’t be worth a damn.
Marvin followed his oldest brother, pumping Jake’s hand. “I’ll try not to blow up anything while you’re gone.” Sadness laced his tone, plucking at Jake’s heartstrings.
“You see that you do that, Marv.”
Lance, holding a rolled-up paper bag, hugged Jake awkwardly. He whispered, “Callie made the brownies. Do me a favor and don’t throw them out the window until you’re miles down the road, okay?”
Jake chuckled, nearly choking on the sudden thickness clogging his throat. “Sure thing, buddy.”
Lance pulled back. Jake grabbed the heavy bag as Lance shoved it into his hands. Jake faced Callie. His heart turned over in his chest as he looked his fill. How beautiful, he thought, recalling other times when he’d been lucky to gaze openly at her. She looked like an angel, a very sexy, very sassy one.
Images of her beneath him, holding him, kissing him, caressing him, loving him flashed through his mind. An ache, so deep, so raw, and so bittersweet swept over him, touching him in his core.
Lord, how I love this woman.
Every fiber, every cell screamed it out. But he swallowed it whole, burying it once again. He could never give her what she wanted, what she needed. A home. A family.
Liberty and his dream of winning the championship still beckoned, calling him away.
This is my last chance.
She raised her hand, palm side facing him, holding up three fingers. “I, Callie Jean Andrews, do solemnly swear to be the best fairy godmother in all the land.”
He laughed. It came out raw and strangled. He longed to scoop her up in his arms and hug her forever. Instead, he said gruffly, “As if I ever had a doubt in the world.”
Before he made a fool of himself, Jake tipped his hat to her and got in his truck, tossing the bag of brownies on the seat beside him. Twisting the key, the motor roared to life. He revved the engine a couple of times,
and then set it in motion.
Looking out the rearview mirror, he watched as the boys gathered around Callie. The four of them waved in unison. He sucked in his breath, and then returned their goodbye waves.
A line echoed in his head. Lord, he had so much to lose.
Reaching the end of the driveway, Jake stopped for a drawn-out moment, fighting the war inside him.
Freedom and the championship won.
Pressing his foot on the accelerator, he turned left. Once on the main road, he glanced in the mirror again, recalling other times, happier times, when the long trail of dust kicking up behind him filled him with excitement and a sense of adventure.
This time, joy failed him. Instead, in its place, desolation hit like a ton of bricks, heavy and pressing. What the hell was happening to him?
Chapter 22
Callie stood on the bottom rung of the corral. Leaning against the rough wood, she scratched Chessie’s neck, uttering nonsensical, meaningless sounds of praise.
“Ain’t the same around here without Jake, is it?” Gus drew near, dropping the feed bucket he carried to the ground and joining her.
Callie’s aching heart answered for her, squeezing a little tighter. She pasted a smile on her lips and turned to him. “Flossie will be bringing the boys home from school soon enough and you’ll forget being lonesome.”
He twirled the end of his mustache, clearly considering her. “Well now, they haven’t been the same, either. I’ve never seen them so quiet. Even Flossie isn’t as talkative.”
This time her smile came out genuine, yet sad. “It’s still new to them. Give them longer than just the past five days and it’ll change.”
“Funny thing, missing someone. Minutes seem like hours, hours like days, days like years…”
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