by E. S. Moore
I turned to look at Ethan. He was wearing one of his cartoon T-shirts. It was smudged across the front as if he had spent quite a while in his lab below the basement doing something that involved dirt. His hair had grown over the last few months and it hung in his eyes, stringy, as if he had been sweating profusely.
I took Ethan in when he was just a kid. A vampire Count had killed his entire family, and we sort of bonded. I broke him out of his cell, mostly in my own rage at having my brother changed into a mindless beast and having my own life as a Pureblood ended.
Funny thing was, I’ve never asked him his last name. It wasn’t until now that it even crossed my mind. He was always just Ethan to me, a comfort in a world where blood and death prevailed.
Of course, everything wasn’t all lollipops and daisies with Ethan. He had problems of his own, namely, a demon he summoned in his lab nightly. The demon helped make my weapons, as well as other little gadgets like the fingerprint readers on all the doors, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.
“I’m fine,” I said. As much as I didn’t want to talk about it, Ethan was my only true friend. Even with his demon summoning, I could trust him more than anyone else. “It was just a really bad night.”
“The vampire give you troubles?”
I went to the dining room table and sat down. I so didn’t want to do this. “None at all.”
Ethan sat down across from me. He pulled my sword from its sheath and frowned. “You fought.”
“A little.”
He put the sword back and stared at me. I knew he was only concerned for my well-being, but for some reason, the look in his eye felt full of accusation. I had to look away.
“Kat, please,” he said, sounding hurt that I wouldn’t look at him. “Are you really okay?”
I started to nod but ended up shaking my head.
“Did you ...” He trailed off and cleared his throat before continuing, “Did you have to hunt tonight?”
“Sort of.”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
I sighed again. I knew talking around it wouldn’t help anything. I licked my lips and grimaced. I could taste the cop’s blood. I could still feel his skin between my teeth, the smell of his fear. God, I hoped someone got to him in time. I don’t think I could live with myself otherwise.
“Countess Telia is dead,” I said, figuring if I was going to tell him anything, I might as well start from the beginning. I still wasn’t so sure I would tell him the whole story. The cop was my problem. I didn’t need to burden him with that.
“That’s good,” he said, eyeing me carefully. “And?”
I took a deep breath before letting out the rest. “And I didn’t do it.”
He opened his mouth and closed it a few times. “Oh, uh,” he finally managed.
“Yeah.”
He took a sip of his coffee and set the mug down on the table. “Her own people, you think?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“Then what?”
I shrugged. “Mikael told me that other vampires and werewolves have been turning up dead recently. Telia wasn’t the first.”
Ethan digested that a moment before speaking. “What else did he say?”
“That everyone thinks I’m the one doing it.”
Ethan started to chew on his lower lip. He picked up his coffee and started to take a sip but set it down instead. “That could be bad.”
“No shit.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea.”
He nodded. We sat there silently for a few minutes more, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I really wanted to get upstairs and take a shower. I needed to wash the blood from me, the guilt. The longer I sat there, tasting the cop’s blood, the worse I was going to be later. I tended to dwell on things like killing innocent people.
But I didn’t move. I was afraid if I went upstairs now, I might break down. This was almost too much. A whole lot of shit just fell into my lap and I wasn’t ready for it. I mean, how was I to handle this killer, Adrian and his goons, and my own guilt over feeding on someone who didn’t deserve it. That’s a lot to deal with for one night.
“What about ... you know?” Ethan gestured toward me.
“What?”
“The blood.”
“What about it?”
He gave me a sickly smile. “If Telia was already dead, then how did you get all icky?”
There was nothing I could do but tell him. I told him all about the purple-haired werewolf, about the cop who showed up at the worst possible time. I told him everything, even though it made my stomach clench to think about it. Ethan deserved to know the truth. He was the one who had to live with me.
He took it all pretty calmly. I think that’s what I liked so much about him. He knew that any moment I could vamp out and kill him in a hunger-induced frenzy, yet he never flinched, never showed fear. He knew what I was and he accepted it. We both had our problems. It’s what bound us.
Still, it was hard telling him. I hated reminding him what I was. Sure, he and his demon provided me with silver weapons, but did he really need to know the details of my life? I wanted to protect him, not get him involved any deeper than he already was.
“Someone will help him,” he said once I was done. “You called it in. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I fed on him, Ethan.” I couldn’t keep the disgust out of my voice. “I could have killed him. I never should have let myself get that far gone. I should have been able to control myself.”
“It’ll be okay.”
“And what if it’s not?” I countered. “What if he dies? What if it hadn’t been a cop, but some kid instead?” I paused for a good ten seconds before continuing. “What if it had been you?”
“I would have poked you with your own knife and ran.” He grinned, though it was a tad bit forced. “Look,” he said, “I trust you. You’ve just gone through some crazy stuff, and the were attack had you all stressed out. It happens.”
I gritted my teeth and sat back. I wanted to spit, but it wouldn’t have been ladylike.
“It’ll work out,” Ethan said. “You’ll see.”
“Right.” I stood. As much as Ethan’s little pep talks usually helped, I wasn’t in the mood to feel any better. I wanted to suffer a little while longer. I wanted the guilt to wash over me and make me remember why I did what I did. It would serve as a reminder as to what I was, of what I was capable of doing if I wasn’t careful.
I made it all the way up three stairs this time before Ethan’s voice stopped me again.
“Kat?” he said. This time he didn’t sound as if he was curious. This time he sounded scared.
“What?” I asked, glancing down at him. He stood with his foot on the bottom step, his hands bracing him to the wall as if he was afraid that if he didn’t hold on to something, he might collapse.
“I, uh, I have a question.”
The way he said it made my eyes narrow. “What?”
He let out a little nervous laugh. “Well, um, I, uh.”
“Spit it out.”
He jerked at my harsh tone but did well in holding his ground. I could be scary when I wanted to be. “Well, you see, now that you know about what happens in my lab, and who I work with and all ...”
I nodded. “Belifal.”
“Beligral,” he corrected, his nervous smile wavering.
“Whatever.”
“Well, since you know about him and all, and I told him you know, he was interested to know who it was that knew.”
I glared at him.
“Right,” he said, licking his lips. “No babbling.”
“Right.”
Ethan took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell him anything more about you than he needed to know. He doesn’t even know your real name. I never told him and never plan to. I swear.” He held his hand up like a boy scout.
“What have you told him?” I let the anger show in my voice. I so didn’
t need a demon on top of everything else right then. I never wanted to deal with it if I could help it. Demons were something I didn’t fuck with. Ever.
“Well ...”
I sucked in an angry breath and Ethan’s eyes widened. How many sentences could he start with that one word without ever getting to the point?
“He knows you’re a vampire,” he said. “He knows you and I live together, but we aren’t, you know, together.” He reddened. “He knows you hunt vampires and werewolves, and that you are pretty good at what you do. He obviously knows about the silver weapons since he is the reason I can make them at all.”
“Okay,” I said, not liking this one bit. Who knew who else summoned the demon. If the right vampire Count just happened to be a summoner, it wasn’t too farfetched to think Ethan’s little play friend might give me up for the right price.
“It’s all stuff he could have figured out on his own, really.” Ethan’s face was so red he looked like he was suffering from sunstroke. “I think he knows you’re Lady Death, but I never said so specifically.”
“What’s the point?” I asked. I didn’t like the idea of my name, even my nickname, being known by a demon. Nothing good could come of it. “I want to take a shower sometime tonight and would really like some time alone.”
“Okay, yeah, well ...” Ethan scratched at the back of his neck and fidgeted. “He wants to meet you.”
I turned to fully face him. “What?”
“He thinks he can be of more use to you if he met you face-to-face.”
My mind whirled. What in the hell could a demon want with me? He had to know that if I killed vampires and werewolves for a living, demons wouldn’t be too much farther down my list. Hell, once I met him, the other monsters in my life might not seem so bad in comparison.
My gaze traveled toward the stairs leading down to the sitting room, as if I could see all the way down to the basement, to the next set of stairs leading into Ethan’s lab. “Is he down there now?”
If possible, Ethan’s face reddened even further. “Yeah.”
My next words came out clipped. “You left a fucking demon alone down there? In my house?”
Ethan stepped backward and nearly fell off the step. He might have if he hadn’t been clutching the wall so hard. “He’s in a circle. He can’t get out.”
“And you know that for sure?”
He nodded. “He can’t get out unless the circle is broken.”
I wanted to scream and rant at him. There was no way it was ever a good idea to leave a demon alone anywhere, inside a circle or not. Sometimes, despite how smart he could be, Ethan could be frustratingly stupid.
But what could I say? I knew almost nothing about demons and how to summon them. As far as I knew, the demon wasn’t even truly in this world. It could be a projection, some sort of glamour perhaps.
That brought someone else to mind. I quickly squashed the thought. I didn’t need to be thinking about him on top of everything else.
“No,” I said.
Ethan blinked. “No?”
“I’m not going to deal with this.”
“He might be able to do something for you.”
“I said no!” I screamed, taking a step down toward him.
Ethan scrambled back, eyes going so wide they were nearly all whites.
“I don’t want to fucking deal with this shit,” I said. “Tell your demon he can shove his help up his ass. I don’t need him.”
Ethan was nodding frantically and I realized how scary I must look to him. I had dried blood on my face, on my clothes. I could feel fresh blood coming from my gums, and my fangs were out and ready.
I turned away and hurried up the stairs, leaving Ethan shaking against the wall. I went straight to my room and slammed the door behind me.
I already hated myself for what I was, what I had so recently done. Now I had to add scaring the hell out of my only friend in the world to the list of shit I fucked up. This was definitely not turning out to be a good night.
I stripped out of my clothes, fighting back tears that threatened to break the surface. I would not cry. I was stronger than that.
As soon as my clothes were off and tossed in the basket reserved for bloody clothing, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, making it as hot as I could stand it. Stepping in, I let the water wash over me, hoping that by the time it was done, all the pain would be gone, stripped away like flesh in acid.
The water washed my skin clean. It could do nothing for my soul.
5
I didn’t feel any better the following night. No matter how hard I tried to forget about what had happened, it kept replaying in my mind. It had been a long time since I’d attacked someone who hadn’t deserved it in some way. Those kinds of things stick with you.
I rose from my bed and went to the window. Heavy drapes were sewn together and taped to the wall as not to allow in any light during the day. I peeled back a corner and looked outside, hoping the night would raise my spirits.
Moonlight shone over the trees, giving life to them. It was a crisp, clear night, and the sound of bugs and night birds reached my ears.
But it did nothing to ease my mind.
I slapped the tape back in place and got dressed. The jeans were tight, but the T-shirt I grabbed was loose-fitting. It hung to midthigh and was well worn. I threw on some running shoes and went to the mirror to pull back my hair to keep it out of my face.
I looked nothing like the girl who had come home the previous night. The blood was gone; the black leather was in the hamper to be cleaned. I was a bit pale, but these days, so were a lot of other people.
I looked normal. Without my fangs poking through, without the gun and knives and sword, I could almost pass for human. I forced a smile, exposing my teeth. There was no hint of the vampire I truly was. As long as I didn’t touch silver or give in to my hunger, no one would be able to tell.
I never wore makeup, but I had some sitting on the counter. It always ran when I was fighting. Sweat and blood tended to do that. There wasn’t much point in putting on makeup when the first splatter on your face would ruin all the work.
But I had no intention of fighting anyone tonight. I just wanted to be normal for an evening, even if it was a lie.
The lipstick touched my lips and I jerked back, scolding myself. What was I thinking? No matter how much makeup I put on, no matter what kind of clothes I wore, I was still Kat Redding, Lady Death, vampire and werewolf hunter. Nothing would change that.
Still, I needed this. After last night, I really needed to do something normal. I needed to get away from all the blood and death, even if it was only for a night.
It took me a while to apply the makeup correctly. I had to wipe it off more than once and start again. My hands shook slightly as I put on the eyeliner, but at least it went on reasonably well.
I stood back and looked at myself. With the makeup, it was even harder to tell my true nature. I smiled again, this time trying to make my eyes soften as I did. It didn’t quite work, but at least it was a start.
Ethan was still in bed when I emerged from my bedroom. He had gone to bed late, so I didn’t blame him for sleeping in. I imagine he hadn’t had much of a good night, especially if he had to tell his demon what I’d said the night before.
I made my way quietly downstairs. My coat was hanging from the back of the chair and my weapons were gone. Ethan had probably spent most of the night working on them, fixing the nicks and scratches that would inevitably mar them after a night of fighting.
I grabbed my coat and considered heading out without my weapons but decided against it. If I went out unarmed, I would probably end up in a fight somewhere, wishing I had them. Just because I wanted to have a quiet night didn’t mean the bad guys would let me.
My belt was on the table in the basement. I grabbed two new knives and slid them into the hidden sheaths at the buckle. A new sword came next. I buckled on the belt and slid on a shoulder holster. There were a handfu
l of modified Glocks on the wall and I grabbed one, making sure to grab a few extra clips just in case.
I threw my coat on over it all. It settled on me comfortably, yet it made me feel dirty at the same time. Ethan had cleaned the blood off, bless him, but I could still smell it there, deep down within the leather. I fingered the spot where a werewolf ’s claw had torn a hole in it, touching the tight stitches that held it together. The coat, much like my own body, had endured quite a lot over the years.
I checked myself over to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. There were a couple of silver dust packets in my coat pocket, but I wouldn’t use them unless I really had to. They got in my eyes and on my skin and took forever to wash off. The sting always lasted for weeks.
I headed out into the garage and mounted my motorcycle. In minutes, I was on the road, driving without direction, just getting away.
I wanted to forget the past night even though I knew Adrian would need dealing with. Of everything else, he was the first on my list. Whoever was killing the vamps and wolves could wait. Adrian knew more about me, might even be able to trace me back from the Luna Cult. I couldn’t have that.
I took turns without thinking about them, breathing in the night air. It felt so good just to be out and not looking to kill someone, I almost closed my eyes and just relaxed. The cool night air calmed my nerves where a day in bed hadn’t.
I found myself drifting away from Columbus and moving out toward the suburbs. Vampires and werewolves were just as prevalent there as they were in the big city, but there was more open space, more chances to get lost. I knew the road I was taking, though it had been a while since I had traveled it.
Something tugged at me, some feeling that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I slowed down, letting cars pass by me. There were quite a few people out and I was given more than one appreciative look by passersby. I wasn’t sure how many of them were supes and how many were Purebloods. And honestly, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t looking for trouble tonight.
I turned down a road that was less familiar, though I had come out this way once to put down a rogue wolf years ago. The traffic thinned here, the houses appeared farther and farther apart.