* * *
Grant saddled up his horse. It was the only thing he knew to do when he needed to clear his head. He’d been in the kitchen making coffee when Ashley came walking in the front door. The only thing he had to be thankful for was that he caught her before she made it to his bedroom. She had a bad habit of just walking in there whenever she felt like it—and Grant had a worse habit of just letting her. For years they had done this crazy push and pull, back and forth, and he hadn’t even cared how dysfunctional it was until he met Jyl. Suddenly the fact that his dating history read like the phone book and the only one he’d gotten partially serious with assumed that when she was tired of being single again, he’d just take her back, was embarrassing to him.
Suddenly, this twenty-four-year-old woman had come into his life and shown him more class and maturity than he’d seen in the entire population of the women he’d dated, put together. He’d made up his mind that first day he asked her out and she’d said “no,” that he wasn’t going to give up. It wasn’t a game; he was tired of games. There was something about her even then that he knew he wanted to be a part of.
He clicked his tongue at the horse and headed him down the path that led to the main road. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he needed to clear his head before he came back and tried to talk to Jyl about this. Somehow he needed to make her believe that Ashley was part of his past—they all were. The past was where he wanted them all to stay because the only person he wanted to be his future was Jyl. He should have changed his locks, or asked for the key back, or at the very least he should have warned her about Ashley.
He rode the horse at a trot onto the main road. He was about two miles from his ranch when he saw King’s big lifted black Ford coming toward him. He pulled the horse to a stop and waited.
When King got close, he let his window down and with a chin tilt he said, “What’s up?” He looked like one of the teenagers he taught.
“I just needed some air,” Grant said. “What’s going on with you?”
“I have an interview scheduled with your hot red-haired friend.”
The anger Grant felt toward Ashley and himself was buzzing through his veins like a live wire. Hearing King calling Jyl “hot,” didn’t help. “Her name is Jyl!” he snapped.
“Whoa! Lots of negative energy here. Did you break up or what?”
“No. We didn’t break up. We weren’t together. Damn it! I don’t know, King. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“Is it cool that I’m here because if it’s not—”
“No, it’s fine. Go on. She’s expecting you. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Okay, man, but just so you know I’ve got a little thing for the blond. I won’t try and move in on your lady.”
Grant chuckled. “Thanks, King. In the spirit of someone getting the girl, I think the blond has a little thing for you too.”
“I could sense it,” he said. Grant rolled his eyes and clicked at his horse. He needed some feminine advice—even if it was going to come from one of the two women in his life that would probably smack him upside the head for screwing this up.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jyl hadn’t realized how late she’d slept in until she saw King coming up the driveway. “Shoot! It’s Friday already! I forgot about him.”
Sharla smiled a slow, sly grin and said, “I’ll keep the chief entertained. You go take your shower or whatever you need to do. Take your time.”
Jyl tossed her head in Gabe’s direction. He was at the table, dousing his pancakes in syrup.
“I’ll keep them both entertained and I’ll keep it PG-13.” Jyl raised an eyebrow and Sharla sighed. “Okay fine, G. I’ll keep it G-rated.”
“Thank you.” She headed to take her shower while Sharla fluffed out her long blond hair. She was so glad that Sharla was there. Christmas was going to be so much better with her here no matter where they were staying. By the time she made it back to the kitchen, King was finishing up the pancakes Sharla had made for him and they were talking and laughing like old friends. Gabe was staring with wide eyes at the big man who completely dwarfed him.
“Hi, King. Thanks so much for coming.” She felt strange calling him “King,” but to be honest, she’d forgotten his real name.
He stood up to take her hand and poor Gabe actually cringed. She smiled and shook the big man’s hand. Hers looked like a child’s against his palm. She looked at Gabe then and said, “You can play with your playdough if you want. Aunt Sharla and I brought it from the house yesterday.” He jumped down from the table and started to run off. “Hey! Did you thank Aunt Sharla for breakfast?”
“Thank you, Aunt Sharla.”
“No problem, buddy.”
He started to take off again and Jyl stopped him by saying, “Gabe, did you tell our guest it was nice meeting him?”
Gabe stepped behind his mother’s chair and looked up at the man who was still at least five feet tall sitting down. “Nice meeting you,” he said in a quiet voice. “Can I go play now, Mama?”
“Yeah, sweetie. Go ahead.”
He ran off then and King said, “Cute kid.”
“Thank you.”
“Can I have your hand?” he asked. Jyl was confused. Did he literally want her hand? He held out his meaty palm and as Sharla craned her neck from over by the sink to see what was happening, he closed it over her hand. Then he closed his eyes and startled her by saying, “You’ve had a lot of tragedy in your life that’s affected your outlook on things.”
“Are you a psychic?” she asked, cautiously removing her hand from his. She was really glad she hadn’t gone to his place to meet him alone.
“No, but I am trained in the art of reading people. I can read tragedy in you and strong love.”
“Wow … that’s amazing,” Sharla said.
“Who did you lose?” he asked.
“My husband … my son’s father.”
“I’m sorry for your loss. Remember that when we lose someone we love, they’re always with us—watching over us.”
“Any ideas how I could talk to him?” she asked with a half-smile. She’d really love to ask Josh what he thought of all of this mess she’d got herself into here in Colorado.
King smiled and said, “I don’t know if you believe in God or not, but you talk to your loved one the same way that you talk to God—you pray.”
* * *
Grant had only taken his light jacket when he left on the horse and he had forgotten his gloves. He was about half frozen by the time he stopped the horse in front of his brother’s house and slid off. He took the horse to his brother’s barn and put him in one of the stalls. When he came back out, he ran into Scott on his way in.
“Geez, Grant! You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing in there?”
“I just put Doc in one of the stalls. I need to talk to Kat, unless—”
“Is this about a woman?”
“Yep. Two women, actually.”
Scott made a face and said, “That’s Kat’s department, little brother. I’m sorry, but you know if she hadn’t snagged me in high school, I’d still be single. I know not a thing about love.”
Grant laughed. “True story. Do you need any help out here?”
“Nah, I’m just going to throw some hay in the holding pens and check on the piglets. They keep squirming out the hole in the fence.”
“Okay,” Grant told him. “Wish me luck.”
“Sure but, ‘Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,’ keeps coming to mind.”
Grant laughed. “Thanks.” He headed into the house, softly muttering the prayer under his breath. He found Kat in the laundry room, shoveling little boy jeans and sweatshirts into the washing machine. “Hey,” he said.
She looked up and with one look at his face said, “What did you do?”
“What makes you think I did something?”
“I have three boys. I recognize
that look anywhere.”
He looked around the quiet kitchen and said, “Speaking of those three crazies, why is it so quiet in here? Did you shovel them all out into the snow?”
“Don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind a time or two. They’re with Sadie. Your dad came over with the tractor this morning to clear the driveway and the boys went home with him.”
“Why does Dad come to do your driveways? He never comes to do mine.”
“If you had a woman and kids, it would be different with Dad, you know that. So now tell me,” she said, slapping the lid on the washer closed. “What did you do?”
“You know that Jyl, Gabe, and Jyl’s friend Sharla are staying with me right now, right?”
“Yes. Jyl told me all about it during our daily call yesterday. She sounded happy though.”
“Yeah, she was pretty happy yesterday. It was this morning when she got woken up to the sound of Ashley’s voice that things went south.”
“No! Oh my God, Grant, what were you thinking? You let that woman in there while Jyl was there?”
“Actually, she let herself in … with her key.”
“You might just be the stupidest man alive,” she said.
“Normally, I’d argue that point. Today, however, I’m feeling it.”
“So what are you gonna do about it?”
He shrugged. “That’s why I’m here. She says she’s not mad at me, but she sure does act like she is. I tried to tell her how Ashley was my past. She didn’t want to hear it.”
“Well good for her.”
“Thanks.”
“Oh come on! You know what I mean. If Ashley was your past then why would she still have a key? You were planning on taking her back, just like you always do.”
“I never really ‘planned’ on taking her back. That always just happened, and yes, I assumed it would happen again.”
“You are an idiot.”
“I think we’ve established that. Now how about some words of wisdom.”
“Do you love her, Grant?”
“Um … I care about her and her son—”
“That wasn’t the question, Grant. Don’t think about it, just answer the question. Are you in love with her?”
“Yes.” Yes? I’m in love with her? I’m in love with her. Her and Gabriel both. The thought of them moving back out of his house hurt as much as if they’d been in a relationship and she was going to leave him. “Yes. I’m in love with her.”
“Good. What are you going to do about it?”
“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be telling me? I came here for help. I don’t know what to do about it. No woman has ever had me this confused before. One day she wants nothing to do with me and the next she’s kissing me like she means it—now she’s pissed about Ashley having a key … or about me not telling her about Ashley, or something, but she says she’s not. What am I supposed to do?”
“You just be honest with her and keep telling her how you feel. That poor girl has been through so much. She’s scared, but yesterday when we talked on the phone I could hear how happy she was, being with you.”
“Did she say that, or did you just ‘hear’ it?”
“I heard it. She gushed about how good you’ve been to them all and how much fun Gabe is having being with you. She doesn’t sound like she wants to run to me. She’s just scared that you’re going to hurt them and now that she knows the truth about you and Ashley …” She saw the look on his face and continued, “Telling her how you feel doesn’t have to be about hearing those words back, Grant. If you truly love someone, you’re supposed to want them to be happy whether they’re with you or not, right? Tell her you want her to be happy. Show her that you respect her enough and trust her enough that you’re willing to be honest with her. That way, she’ll be honest with you too. You can start off on even footing before you have to decide where to go from there, but wherever it is, try to go at her pace as much as possible.”
“So the diamond engagement ring for Christmas is probably too much?”
Her eyes widened and she said, “You didn’t?”
Grant laughed. “No, I didn’t. I just now realized something though—I would if I thought she’d take it.”
Kat shook her head at him and said, “Baby steps, brother-in-law of mine. Baby steps.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jyl ended up really enjoying her interview with Kusagra. He was definitely eccentric in some ways, but he was also funny and intelligent and able to offer her a whole world of information about Native American history in Shiloh Falls. She had enough information for several posts before he left, and Sharla had a date for the Christmas parade and boutique. Jyl wished that she was more like her friend sometimes. Sharla was always able to take things in the here and now. She wasn’t worried about where she and Kusagra might end up. She was just happy for the opportunity to spend the day with him tomorrow. She wouldn’t even think about the next day until then. Jyl would like to blame her obsession with the future on being a mother, but the truth was she’d always been that way.
As King was leaving, Grant returned from his horseback ride. He and King shook hands and as soon as King touched him, he said, “I think the curse is going to end with you.” She saw Grant’s lips twitch like he was trying not to laugh. King caught that too because he said, “You don’t have to believe me—you’ll see.” He looked back at Jyl when he said it and then he left.
When he was gone she looked at Grant and said, “What did he mean by that?”
He did smile then. She wished that it didn’t affect her the way that it did. “His great-grandfather became angry with my great-grandfather and supposedly put a ‘curse’ on our family. Apparently, I’m the one who’s going to break it.”
“Oh,” she wanted to know more, but she didn’t want to ask him to tell her and let him think he was off the hook for not telling her about the ex-girlfriend with a key to his house. She turned and started to go back inside.
“Jyl,” he called after her. “Can we talk?”
She turned around slowly. “About what?”
“You. Me. Ashley. Us.”
She wasn’t sure that she wanted to talk about any of it. Wouldn’t it be easier to walk away if she stayed a little bit angry? It would be, but for some reason she stood rooted to her spot, “Okay, talk.”
“Where’s Gabe?”
“He’s showing Aunt Sharla how to make race cars out of playdough.”
“Do you want to sit out here? Are you cold?”
“I’m fine. You’re stalling.”
He grinned. “True. Can I sit down?”
“It’s your porch.” Wow, that was immature. Feeling bad, she stepped back out of the way and let him come up the steps. He waited for her to sit down and then he took the chair next to hers.
“I’m sorry that you found out about Ashley the way you did.”
“The only thing I really found out about her was that she had a key to your house—and she’s not a nice person. I really don’t know what you ever saw in her.” She was also sure she didn’t know where this was all coming from. She’d already told herself that who he was dating—or dated—was not her business.
“She wasn’t always so hard,” he said. Jyl liked him defending her even less than she did knowing he’d dated her. “She has some medical problems that no one knows about. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. They took all of her female parts and not only did that make her depressed because she could never have kids, it messed with her hormones so her moods spiral up and down. People in town just think she’s this awful person. No one knows that she’s really suffering. I’ve tried to talk her into going public over it, but she’s afraid it will ruin her career somehow.”
“Damn it!”
Grant looked amused. “Damn it … what?”
“I’m a terrible person. I, of all people know that you just never know what someone else is going through. I jumped to conclusions—”
“You didn’t have a
nything to go on other than the way she was acting this morning. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not all hormones. She can be one of the most stuck-up people you’ve ever met in your life and that was even before she got sick, so don’t feel too bad. I guess me telling you about her being sick is more defending me than her. I’ve taken her back probably ten times over the years and no one understands why. That’s what I felt for her and I know that she doesn’t do well alone, so I let her come and go as she needed to.”
“So why did you make her leave her key now? What if she needs you?”
“If she needs me … I’ll do what I can for her. But I’m not going to take her back again. I’m not going to assume anymore that I’ll just end up with her someday.”
“Why?”
“Because I finally figured out that when you meet the right person, settling for the wrong one is no longer an option.”
“You’re talking about me?”
“Yes. I’m talking about you.”
“I don’t want to be responsible for you cutting your … your friend out of your life. I can’t make any promises to you, Grant.”
“See though, that’s just the thing. I don’t remember asking you to make any promises. I’m happy with the here and now … if it’s with you and Gabe. I’m not in a hurry. I can wait until you think it’s been long enough that you’re not disrespecting Gabe’s father. I can wait until Gabe’s older if you want. I can wait for however long it takes you. All I ask of you is the present.”
“I’ve never meant to send you mixed signals. …”
He smiled. “I realize that. I’ve never lost anyone that I loved like that, but I can imagine how it would be difficult to move on without feeling guilty just for being alive. But I take heart in the fact that you’re even struggling with it.”
She furrowed her brow and said, “Why would you take heart in that?”
“Because to me it says there’s hope—for us. You haven’t just shut me down. You being worried about being with me says that you’ve thought about it—you’ve considered it. That gives me hope.”
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