by Addison Fox
“Exactly what it means, like everything else I just said. It’s a fact, Jason. You own it. You’ve lived there for some time now. It’s your apartment.”
“When I asked you to move in, it wasn’t to create a dividing line between what was yours and was mine.”
“There is no dividing it. All of it’s yours. Beyond a few suitcases of clothing and few odds and ends, the apartment and everything in it is yours. Your place. Your belongings.”
“I told you from the beginning my life was in New York, not Alaska. That it could never be in Alaska.”
“I’m well aware of that.” She broke off, not sure why she was even pushing the point. She wasn’t unhappy with her decision to move to New York. She loved the city and could see herself making a life here. “You’re the one who jumped when I called it your apartment.”
“Because it’s ours.”
He was an affable man—it was one of the qualities she loved most in him—but at that moment she wanted to scream.
The apartment wasn’t theirs. It was his. Just like the life they were living in New York was his.
And it was a life he clearly wasn’t happy with.
Chapter Five
“You look gorgeous.”
The words floated into Kate’s ear as Jason’s large hard chest pressed against her spine. The stiff material of his tuxedo jacket brushed against her exposed back, and she shivered lightly at the contact. With a soft smile, she stared back at him in the mirror and fought the urge to pinch herself. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
“I’d say we fix up pretty nicely.”
“I’d say we do.”
They hadn’t said all that much to each other over the past week—the events the night of his parents’ dinner party were still fresh for both of them—so they’d stuck to polite pleasantries and surface conversation.
And sex.
Lots and lots of sex.
It was one area of their relationship that functioned incredibly well, even as the rest of it was falling apart.
Plus, Kate admitted to herself, it was hard to talk when you were wrapped up tightly in each other.
She let her gaze roam over Jason’s broad shoulders and couldn’t resist a smile of pure feminine appreciation. Jason Shriver didn’t just fix up nicely—he looked incredible. The polished lines of his suit, the thick wave of his hair, the impossible sky blue of his eyes.
The man was an impressive vision, and all the confusion in the world over where their relationship was headed couldn’t dim this raw attraction that whipped through her.
“You’re sure this dress is okay?” She fussed with the black silk, embarrassed by the sudden rush of nerves that gripped her stomach with hard, flaming barbs.
Yes, she’d been to the dinner party at his parents’, but this was her first, formal introduction to society. The difficult conversation they’d had after the dinner party hadn’t been resolved . . . what could possibly happen between them after hours in a room full of New York’s crème de la crème?
“It’s perfect. You’re going to wow them, Kate. Absolutely wow them.”
She wasn’t so sure about that—or how she’d ever impress the mysterious “them”—but she kept her broad smile firmly fixed in place as she turned to focus on the black bow tie that hung untied around his neck. The light smell of his shaving cream wafted off the heat of his skin and she fought the urge to unbutton the studs that held his tuxedo shirt together.
If given the option, she’d much rather spend the night in his large bed and forgo the black tie event at Lincoln Center.
But she hadn’t been given the option.
She ignored the persistent feeling that she lacked any control over her own life. She had a similar feeling when her father was in the hospital, battling the cancer that eventually took him, with one key exception.
With her father’s illness, she’d had to maintain control on every area of his treatment. His appointments and his meals, his insurance and the paperwork. She’d spend her days either caring for him or tending to the volume of paperwork that one horrible sickness could render on the patient and his family.
But she’d owned it. Controlled it. And, if she did say so herself, kicked its ass.
With Jason, she just felt out of control.
She ignored the jab of memories as her fingers made quick work of his tie, resulting in a knot that was strong and tight and the bow nearly perfect. Jason leaned past her to inspect her work in the mirror.
“Where’d you learn to tie a tie that way?”
“Here and there.”
“Huh.” He touched his fingertips to the edges and nodded. “It’s perfect. Who’d have thought?”
The words caught her up short as she finished placing the back on her earring. “Who’d have thought what?”
His wide broad grin assailed her before he leaned in and pressed his lips to her throat. “I didn’t think there was a single bow tie in the entire state of Alaska.”
It’s just a joke. A joke, she admonished herself.
So why did it feel far sharper than a slap?
“Oh, we Alaskans know a few tricks or two.”
He gave her one quick, hard kiss before stepping back. “I guess you do.”
Kate watched Jason cross the room to gather up the cufflinks he’d laid on the bedside table earlier. His grin was still firmly in place as he turned to look at her. “You really do look gorgeous. But something’s missing.”
On a flood of panic, her hands swept over her body as she turned toward the mirror. “What?”
“This.”
He crossed over to her and pulled a jewelry box from his pocket. She recognized the emblem for the Indigo Blue hotel on the velvet immediately and stared up at him. “What’s this?”
“Open it.”
She did, lifting the lid to expose a small pendant she’d admired in the jewelry counter Susan Forsyth kept in the sundries store at the hotel. “Jason—” She swallowed hard. “It’s beautiful.”
The pendant was gorgeous. A butterfly, its wings spread wide, sat nestled in the velvet box. Small diamonds made up the center of the butterfly’s body, and then a ring of pave diamonds crusted the edges of the wings. Susan had gotten the piece in years ago, and Kate had admired it through the years. Had been on the verge of buying it before her father had gotten sick and she’d opted to avoid buying something so frivolous in the face of not knowing what was to come with his medical bills.
“It’s beautiful on you. Here. Let me.” She turned so he could slip the necklace on and lock the clasp.
“I saw you look at it a few times when we passed the store. It clearly caught your eye.”
The urge to tell him how desperately she’d wanted to be a butterfly and fly away from Indigo—from the sickness and the loneliness and the grief—rose up in her throat. Instead, she only nodded.
“I love it. I’ve always loved it.”
He pressed his lips to hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding back the tears that wanted to fall.
Somehow, he’d known. Had known what something that was only a piece of metal and stones meant to her.
And had given it—and so much more—to her.
• • •
The line of limousines snaked at least two blocks long, waiting to drop their passengers in front of Lincoln Center. Kate had stayed oddly quiet on the ride over, and Jason wondered what bothered her.
Once again, he was stymied in trying to read her. She liked the butterfly, he knew. She’d touched it several times on the ride over and a small smile played the corners of her mouth.
So why was she so quiet? Was she angry about the jewelry instead of being happy about it?
They hadn’t spoken again of the harsh words they’d exchanged at the bar after his parents’ party, but he knew that was at the heart of the quiet week they’d spent, avoiding discussing the things that bothered both of them.
They’d sexed their way through the time since, but they
hadn’t dealt with it. And jewelry wasn’t a balm. He knew that, even without the shitty example set by his parents and further evidenced by his mother’s expansive collection of baubles.
At that thought, his annoyance only grew. He’d purchased the necklace because he’d seen her looking at it and wanted to make her smile. It had nothing to do with their fight and every time he thought to give it to her over the past week, it felt like attempting to rectify their fight with an expensive gift, which was never his intention.
The gift had been given freely, with no further expectation other than that she enjoy it.
But she wasn’t happy. And no matter how many ways he spun it or tried to come up with another answer, he couldn’t fight the truth. She thought he didn’t see it, but he did and the reality of her unhappiness cut surprisingly deep.
Kate might think he was immune, but he’d seen it from the beginning. He thought their trip to Alaska would help but things had only gotten worse since they returned home to New York, and he didn’t think it was entirely due to the fight.
A glance at her elegant profile—so familiar and so seductive—reminded him of all the things they’d left unsaid. And all the things they still needed to deal with.
“Are you warm enough? It’s a cold night and they’re calling for a big cold front tonight.”
She turned from the view outside the windows, a soft smile painting her lips in the glow of the street lamps. “You are talking to a woman born and raised in Alaska. I’m fine.”
“How do I keep forgetting that?”
“I’m not sure. Especially since I turn the heat down every night and don’t complain when you hog the blankets.”
“I just thought you were showing off those gorgeous legs of yours.”
She slid across the seat until they were touching, her lips hovering a breath away from his. “And here I thought I was playing it so cool. You’ve discovered my temptress ways.”
He reached for her hand, satisfied when she laced her fingers with his before he bent his head to drink from her lips. The moment exploded, warm and tender, as her mouth opened under his, their tongues mingling. An urgent desire to ask their driver to turn around and head straight back to the apartment gripped him but he resisted.
He’d do his duty, even if the time spent in public displays of power and wealth seemed increasingly more pointless the more he was required to do it. The heir to a major New York investment firm needed to see and be seen.
Whether he liked it or not.
Wasn’t that what was really underlying his father’s every word and action? “Win more business” was really code for “Show everyone how great and powerful my progeny is.” And “Get out there in society more” was really an admonishment to “Show off the company assets.”
Jason leaned in once more and pressed a quick kiss against Kate’s lips, allowing his father’s harsh words to fade as he sunk into her.
He knew the physical didn’t solve anything, but when he was wrapped up in her, he didn’t have to think about all the other areas of his life that sucked ass.
Areas that had no easy answers.
She laid a soft hand against his cheek. They’d figure this out, he knew—would figure out how to take the attraction that lived between them and create a life. Together. Kate was a part of his future.
She had to be.
• • •
Kate took in the glitter and glamour that surrounded her and once again fought the urge to pinch herself. How had she ended up here?
And how long would it take before someone pointed a finger at her and screamed “Imposter!” in a voice loud enough to wake the dead?
Camera flashes kept going off and everywhere she looked, she saw someone she recognized. A famous model had taken up court at the table next to them and a rock star and his entourage had the table beyond that. New York’s wealthiest had turned up for the gala and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she’d just walked out of the country store in a pair of overalls.
“Kate, darling.” Jason’s mother leaned toward her in a cloud of Chanel.
“Hello, Annette. It’s lovely to see you.”
The requisite cheek kisses were exchanged—this time Kate remembered to keep hers light and not too friendly or familiar—before turning to do the same to Jason’s father.
The older man bothered her and she’d not yet been able to put a finger on why. Although Annette maintained a stiff formality, Kate had seen glimpses of warmth underneath. But Tom was another story. She knew the man was a womanizer—Jason had told her that much—but he had an air about him that screamed snob and it set her teeth on edge.
With a smile she didn’t feel, she leaned in and pressed her cheek to his. The distinct scent of scotch assailed her nostrils and she wondered how many pre-event cocktails he’d had in addition to the glass in his hand. “It’s lovely to see you again, Thomas.”
Jason’s parents began talking at Jason and barely gave her another glance as they discussed who’d be sharing their table and how much they expected to donate this evening. She tried to keep up—all the while keeping that smile firmly in place—but no matter how hard she tried her head spun at the dizzying sums of money they discussed.
Without warning, images of her father’s medical bills assailed her, a strange echo of her thoughts while getting ready. Although the majority of them were paid, the staggering sums had shocked her as they arrived with morbid regularity.
To think the dollar amounts she worried over were paltry compared to what these people wanted to donate to the opera.
You’re in a different world now, Katie-girl.
The memory of her father’s warm, soothing voice comforted her, and she tried to take heart. He hadn’t raised her to cower in a corner or to think she wasn’t worth the floor under someone’s shoes, so why did she keep going to that place in her mind?
When Jason’s parents were pulled off in another direction Kate breathed an inward sigh of relief. One hurdle down.
“Would you like a glass of champagne?”
“You read my mind.”
With his hand at her back, Jason escorted her toward one of the many roving waiters and grabbed two flutes. After handing her one, he lifted his glass in toast. “To us.”
“To us.”
“And to the most beautiful woman in the room.”
She couldn’t hold back the smile at his words, or hide the light flush that crept up her neck at his appreciative stare. “You know there’s a model sitting at the table next to us.”
Jason’s hand snaked out and settled on her hip, pulling her closer. “Then she must be awfully jealous.”
Time seemed to stop as the two of them stared at each other, right there in the middle of the crowd. The same sense she’d had the first night she met him—that something big was happening—wrapped itself around the middle of her chest with tight bands.
She touched the necklace, the butterfly delicate under her fingertips. The piece offered a tangible sense of reassurance that the love she saw in his eyes—even if he didn’t speak the words—was there.
All the moments of confusion and worry that she’d made a mistake in coming to New York faded in the warmth of his gaze. The hand at her hip shifted, settling itself on the small of her back and she reveled in the strength of his touch. The firm touch of his fingers as the dark, musky scent of him filled her senses.
She’d spent a lifetime waiting for this, and she needed to hold on to the moments where she could see past all her confusion.
Past all her worries.
So why couldn’t she do that when real life intruded?
“Jason. You need to make introductions.”
Kate turned toward the overly loud voice and took in the row of blue bloods, dressed to the nines for the evening like a phalanx of well-dressed soldiers. Two women lead the charge, their dates standing a few steps behind.
Jason turned toward the visitors, his smile stiff as he made a rou
nd of introductions. “Pamela and John Van Wilton and Amanda and Theodore Brown.”
“Pammie and Mandy.” The one named Pamela stepped up, her expression calculating as she extended a manicured hand. “I could swear we’ve met before.”
“I’m afraid not.” Kate offered up a small smile and prayed they’d miss the connection Pamela was obviously headed toward. “I’ve only been in New York a short while.”
“No, no, I know we’ve met,” Pamela said, pressing the issue before turning toward Jason. “Come on now, why do I know I’ve met Kate before? She just looks so damn familiar.”
“I can’t say why, Pammie. To her point, she’s only been here a short while. I met Kate on my recent trip to Alaska.”
Kate saw the train wreck the moment the words were out of Jason’s mouth.
With deliberate motions—the wide eyes and dropped jaw adding a nice effect—Pammie snapped her fingers. “That’s it. I knew there was a connection. Didn’t Grier go up to Alaska recently?”
“She did.”
“Well, I’ll be. You look just like her.”
And just like that, Kate thought, real life intruded with a resounding thud.
Chapter Six
“Well that’s no surprise, really. Grier’s my sister.” Kate kept her gaze level on Pamela’s and her spine arrow-straight. She would not be put off by these people and she absolutely would not let them get the best of her.
Amanda spoke first. “Your sister? I didn’t know Pattycakes had another daughter.”
Kate let her gaze linger a moment longer on Pamela’s before turning toward the other woman. “Grier’s my half sister. We have the same father.”
“Grier never mentioned you.”
“We were raised separately. She and I were recently reacquainted.”
While Kate knew she hadn’t been at all welcoming at first of the sister she never knew existed, they were friends now. She’d be damned if she’d air family baggage to strangers.
“We need to take our seats.” Jason pointed toward the servers standing discreetly around the tables. “We’ll catch up with you all later.”