He’d always been straight to the point.
My eyes darted around the circle, looking for an indication on which answer I should give. The three other men stared back at me, eyes utterly blank of all emotion, aside from Adrian. He seemed clueless and out of the loop. “No, haven’t heard from her,” I lied.
Dex’s hand slapped the back of my neck before he squeezed. “That’s lie number one,” he pointed out and faced the other men. “Leave us.”
After looking back and forth between each other, the men dispersed out the back door. Mum rose from the couch, but Dex lifted his palm toward her, gesturing for her to sit.
Then he turned to face me. “Our virgin’s gone,” Dex continued. “Hadn’t answered or shown up for a fucking week. Do you know how hard it is to find a willing participant who’s a fucking virgin? Leigh was perfect. And imagine my surprise when I found who had her arrested.”
Dex knew, and my heart jumped into the pit of my stomach. “Mia had nothing to do with this,” I growled.
“Mia just became your biggest problem,” he said slowly. “Your wife took every chance of you walking out of Ghost’s office alive.”
My lip twitched, and I crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you talking about?”
“I had a meeting with the BOG leader, and we made a deal. It turns out Leigh was worth more than I’d anticipated. So, a pretty virgin with a tight fanny up for grabs in exchange for a raid by BOGs men. Once we got word of the time and place, they’d be your distraction to get you out of there. Now, we don’t have anything to exchange. Leigh was your one-way ticket, and now you’re on your own. There’s no time to find another Leigh.”
If Leigh was worth as much as he’d said, he wouldn’t have exchanged her for my life. The BOG raid was so nothing fell back on Dex. Another step ahead. The only person Dex looked out for was himself. He was nothing more than a little fish in a vast ocean with the appetite of a shark.
A shark who had planned to kill me all along, but only after he’d used me to do his bidding. He’d said it. I was disposable. And I’d made a promise to Mia.
I’d promised she would never lose me.
“Fuck you,” I whispered, my eyes darting over the counter as the puzzle became clearer. Slowly, I lifted my chin until our eyes met. First the news from James about Dex’s plans with Adrian, now this? My voice increased, the rage spilling into every word, “It was never over, was it?” My clenched fist pounded over the counter. “You think I’d give up my life to build your empire?”
There was humor in Dex’s narrowed eyes. “You fed me an opportunity, and I took it. You’re killing Ghost, and if you make it out alive, you can leave. You have my word.”
A dry chuckle stumbled from my lips. “Yeah? And what am I going to do with that? Throw it at you?”
Dex gripped my collar and yanked me forward until our foreheads collided. Spit flew from his lips as he screamed, “You will kill Ghost.”
“Go to Hell,” I stated, pushing him off me, and he stumbled backward. “I’m done with this bullshit. Find another bitch.”
I turned to leave when Dex’s voice touched the back of my neck. “You know what your Mum said once she found out Oscar’s death was your fault?” Dex’s tone was calm, practiced, and I paused in the middle of the living room and slid my gaze to her, “The only way to break you, was to break your heart. And I thought to myself … She’s exactly right. Oliver’s fucking heart. But what exactly makes Oliver Masters heart beat? I mean, he willingly gave up forty grand in exchange to find a fucking security guard. He drives an old station wagon for crying out loud, so it was never money he wanted. And sex?” He chuckled. “The young chap fingered a tight hole but didn’t smash. And for a while there, I almost believed the wanker sucked cock. But that only left one thing. Family. And I’m not talking about his brother or Mum … because we all know mummy dearest tried to get rid of him a long time ago. He never forgave her for the poisoning, the suffocation …”
With my gaze locked on Mum, my eyes burned. Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she tilted her face to the side, breaking the connection like a popsicle stick. I slammed my eyes shut and turned around to face him.
Dex flashed a smile. “Well, you know how that story went.”
“Get to the fucking point.”
“Point is, it was never what made his heart beat, but who,” Dex shoved his hand into the pocket of his pants and retrieved his phone. His eyes fixed to the bright screen as his finger scrolled. “Jake, Travis, and little Turner, who’s grown so much,” he grinned, and my muscles tensed, “but then there’s Mia. As soon as I laid eyes on her, mate, I about wacked myself off right then and let her watch. The girl is beautiful. I mean, look at her.” Dex held up the phone, the screen faced me, and it was a picture of Dex and Mia talking in the streets of Surrey, Mia’s hand pointing ahead as if she was giving him directions.
I blinked once, fear having a tight grip on my heart, and Dex pushed the phone back into his pocket. “You will kill Ghost, Oliver,” he continued. “And as long as the job gets done, I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to any of them. Chances are, yeah … you’ll die in that room, but you can at least die knowing Mia is safe. And if you so much as try to take me out, my boys standing right outside know the deal. Mia’s dead, all the bloodshed would be on your hands, and you’ll go back to prison for life.” Dex lifted his palms in the air and tilted from side to side, imitating a scale. “I’d say, things aren’t looking too good for you, mate.”
A scream ripped through me in the cabin of the car as I raced home to Mia in the middle of the black night and under the same moon I’d dreamed under countless times. I passed every car in my way, going well over a hundred miles per hour on M25 after the Queen Elizabeth II bridge.
My hand pounded over the glove compartment for it to open, and I shuffled inside for the stale pack of cigarettes, needing something to settle the anxiety. I lit the cigarette, an orange glow between my eyes, and inhaled the menthol, but the nicotine never eased the anxiety tearing me apart. Mia wasn’t safe, and there was only one way to make sure no one would touch her.
I had to break my promise.
I had to let go of her hand.
When I reached our cottage, my gaze fixed on our Christmas tree, pouring white lights from inside the house through the window as my feet flew up the steps and through the front door. Mia jumped from the spot in the corner of the couch, the blanket falling to the floor. “Ollie, what’s wrong?” she asked, walking toward me in my MAKE LOVE NOT WAR tee, her hair still damp from the shower.
Her hand reached for my chest, but my heart couldn’t take it. “You have to go,” I said, clutching her wrist and pulling it away. I walked into our bedroom and stood in front of the closet, and Mia followed close behind. “You can’t stay with Summer or Jake,” my hands shook as I pulled down a duffle from the top of the closet and turned toward her dresser, “You have to go back.” Every drawer I yanked open fell to the floor, and my hands automatically grabbed clothes, shoving them into the duffle while a fire blazed behind my eyes. I couldn’t see clearly. I couldn’t think clearly. The only goal consuming my brain was getting Mia back on a plane to the states—to get her as far away from here as possible.
“Ollie, stop!” Mia cried at my side, yanking clothes from my hands and pushing me away from the dresser. “I’m not leaving you!”
Turning, I gripped her shoulders and bent down to face her. “I fucking lied, Mia. Does this look like the face of someone who isn’t afraid?” I asked her, and my own reflection bounced off her golden-brown eyes. Raw. Vulnerable. Stripped to the core of my soul. “Because I’m terrified! I can’t allow anything to happen to you. This is the only way!”
Mia squinted her eyes and shoved my arms off her. “You’re a real son of a bitch, you know that? What happened to you and I? What happened to staying through this together?”
“There’s no you and I if we’re both fucking dead,” I shouted, and Mia turned, so I stepped out i
n front of her with my finger pointing at the wall. “You’re getting on that plane, Mia! You’re going be quiet, listen to me for once in your life, and get on that fucking plane.”
My gaze locked with hers, both of our chests heavily heaving. By this point, Mia’s eyes were bloodshot, soft lips trembling, and my heavy heart slammed inside its brittle cage, no match against her and the power she had over me. My breath held, tears sprang in my eyes, and a finality crossed her expression.
She’d made up her mind.
Mia walked around the bed, grabbed a pillow, and headed for the living room. “Make sure to clean up the mess when your done with your tantrum,” she barely whispered through her tears. A desperate growl erupted from deep in my throat, and I grabbed a drawer and threw it across the room, drilling a hole through drywall above the bed before crumbling to the floor against the dresser.
Hours passed, and the only sound in our home was a show playing over the telly and Mia’s soft sniffles from the living room. I’d been in this same position the entire time, bent at the knees and my legs numb. Utterly drained from the toll of emotions happening within me, my limbs were weak as I got to my feet and made my way to her.
Mia’s back was to me as she laid over our leather couch, her brown hair spilling off the pillow and over the edge. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and she turned over at the sound of my voice to face me. Her eyes were swollen and cheeks so red, her freckles were lost, but still so goddamn beautiful. “I’m scared, Mia.”
“I know, I am too,” she admitted, then moved back to give me room. I peeled off my hoodie and tee then slipped out of my jeans before sinking over the couch beside her. She immediately warmed me, and my fingers pushed through her hair as she shook her head. “I’m not leaving you, Ollie. There’s nothing you can say or do to make me leave. I’m staying with you. No matter what happens, I’m going to be right here with you every step of the way.”
The right thing to do was tell her I was a dead man—to prepare her for the inevitable, but I couldn’t find it in me. It was better off anyway, Mia not knowing. She’d only do something incredibly stupid like beg me not to take the call and run away from it all. But we couldn’t force Travis, Summer, Jake, and the rest of them to take off with us. If we ran, Dex would be out for blood. He’d take away everything that made my heart beat inside my chest, most importantly, Mia. And if dying meant she’d be safe, I’d die a thousand deaths.
“Promise me something, Mia,” I said as her shallow breaths hit my lips. Mia lifted her eyes to mine, and she nodded once. “If one night I don’t come home, don’t wait for me. Instead, close your eyes and go to sleep, that way, no matter where I am, I can still be with you,” her eyes bounced between mine, and I swallowed, “dream of me, alright? Promise me you’ll do that.”
Mia’s lips parted and eyes glazed over. “I promise.”
I abandoned the couch and picked her up, carrying her in my arms back to our bed. She didn’t say anything about the hole in the wall, the broken drawer lying beside our bed, or the clothes draping over our wooden headboard. Mia only kept her eyes on mine as I laid her over the mattress and slowly undressed her.
The only way I could get through this moment was to keep myself together when all my body and emotions wanted to do was break apart at the thought of this being our last time. Her ivory skin glowed against the white sheets of our bed, and I took my time, running the tips of my fingers over her lips, down her neck, and over her breast. Every inch of her had branded into my mind, but tonight, she’d sear into my soul so I’d remember us far after death.
My fingers grazed down her stomach, and it slightly rose and fell beneath my touch. I flicked my eyes up, and her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her eyes closed. “Open your eyes, love,” I whispered, and her thick lashes blinked open.
I continued my journey, her entire body shuddering when my fingers brushed her sex, and her thighs broke apart under my silent command. Mia’s eyes fluttered, and a breath caught in her throat as my eyes drifted down her torso. My heart hammered, and her tender core starved to be kissed.
I crawled between her legs and up her torso until my nose grazed hers. My mouth moved down to her neck to kiss the spot below her ear just once. “The first time we made love,” I whispered over her throat. “I asked something of you before it happened. What did I ask you to do?”
Mia’s back arched, and her nipples grazed my chest before she said, “You wanted me to remember the moment and the way you made me feel.”
“Yes,” I grinned, moving my mouth back to hers, “hold on to this too.”
And we made love that night like every other night, and though I was unable to hide the way my heart danced to our last song, she would never notice or see the difference. I’d never held back when it came down to the two of us, and Mia always had the power over me. My other half—my strength.
The girl was a design, a form of art. Painters, musicians, nor novelists could capture or mimic the way she lit galaxies beneath my flesh or make my heart beat to the tune of River Flows in You. Even the most talented would be jealous of the way she moved like paint across my skin into my bloodstream. For over two years, I’d poured her through every line, word, and syllable of poetry, but could never get it just right.
An absolute wonder.
I’d spent the last few years falling in love with her, and I could die easy knowing Mia Rose was strong enough on her own. She never needed anyone. It was true, I’d pushed her to bring her back, but she’d always been the one to save herself. Perhaps that was my purpose in this lifetime with Mia, to remind her the struggle and fight along the way could be just as beautiful as the freedom she’d find once I was gone because … we were once together, and it was beautiful.
It was Christmas day, and we had a full house earlier for a gift exchange with Lynch, Travis’s family, Jake, and Liam. Smiles and laughter had filled the room as everyone enjoyed my famous hot chocolate, and the Christmas music Mia played on the piano. Nearing the end, Jake and Lynch had teamed up for a game of charades, both pissed off a shared bottle of spiced eggnog. How the two of them won had been beyond me.
After everyone left, a Mazzy Star song blessed the speakers, interrupting the Christmas vibes. Mia shrieked from the kitchen and ran toward me in a snowflake printed red sweater and leather pants, forcing me off the couch. “Dance with me,” she asked, and she never had to ask twice. I pushed the coffee table out of the way, and we danced in our living room in front of the fire, the colored lights from our Christmas tree glimmering in her eyes. “When can I give you my present?”
We’d talked about this. I’d told Mia not to spend heaps of dosh on me, then she had mentioned the first year was paper. I’d told her it was for anniversaries, not Christmas, but Mia never liked to follow the rules, and my heart had clenched at the thought of not making it to our first anniversary, so I’d agreed. Paper it was.
With her arms wrapped around my shoulder and an eager smile tugging on her lips, I went to open my mouth when my phone chimed.
The air grew thick. My stomach turned at the slight sound, and I tucked my hand into the front pocket of my pants to retrieve my phone and held it out to the side.
My mobile lit up. It’s go time. The three simple words across the screen paralyzed me.
My eyes wouldn’t move from the screen, and a beating struck in my ears. My fist clenched, and my pulse ticked from the pads of my fingers against the phone.
“Ollie, what is it?” Mia asked, but her voice sounded distant, lost as my insides screamed.
The room spun, Mazzy played, and it felt as if the entire cottage was submerged in water.
“Ollie?” Mia asked again, touching my face.
Her tiny hand clutched my chin to move my eyes back to hers, and I wet my dry lips before swallowing the agony back down. “I,” I paused to clear my throat of emotions, “I have to go.” It came out as a question. Did I have to go?
Of course, I had to go. It was the only way to keep her sa
fe.
“Now?” Mia tilted her head with a frown. “It’s Christmas.”
“Believe me when I say, I don’t want to. It’s the absolute last thing I want to do, love. But I don’t have a choice.” I forced a smile, and it took every bit of effort. Mia studied my expression, seeing straight through it. I averted my gaze and lifted her arm from around my shoulder to bring her palm to my lips, pressing a kiss inside. “I have to go change.”
I left her standing there in the living room to make my way toward the bedroom. The only thing keeping me sane and steady was the fact she’d be safe and free. It was the only thought chanting inside my head over and over while I quickly changed into a pair of black jeans, a white tee, and a black hoodie. Hopping on one leg, I pulled my black boots on in the doorway to look out into the living room. Mia was busy dragging the coffee table back in place and picking up mugs from the side tables, cleaning, which she rarely ever did. This time, I’d left the gun under the mattress for Mia in case she needed protection, hoping she’d never have to use it. I hurried to the antique wardrobe to retrieve a letter I’d written for her, the second gun Travis had gotten this week, and a box of bullets.
My eyes darted back and forth around the wardrobe toward the door, catching Mia folding a blanket and laying it over the couch, and my shaky hands slid bullets into the magazine. I’d do whatever it took to come home to her, and this time, I was going in fully loaded. After making sure the safety was on, I tucked the gun behind me and closed the drawers.
Mia was in the kitchen, her back to me, and I paused mid-step on my way to her, only to spin back around to breathe. Oxygen turned scarce, scattering in and out from between my lips as my stomach twisted into knots. With one swipe of my palm down my face, I collected the tears and dropped my head back in search of any strength left within me before turning back around.
Now Open Your Eyes (Stay With Me series Book 3) Page 32