Finding You

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by Jo Watson


  “What d’you mean? Have you been awake this whole time?” I glanced at the book; it was the cheesy romance novel that my mother had so graciously bestowed upon me. “Have you been reading that?”

  “I didn’t want to wake you. Do you know how beautiful you look when you’re sleeping?” My heart tugged in my chest. “I got this out of your bag to pass the time.” He opened it again. “It’s not that bad really…” He cleared his throat and started reading:

  She sat in the chair looking at him. He looked different this morning, as if somehow she knew him better. She longed for him. She longed to touch him, and make love to him, and tell him that she would be his forever. She was ready to commit herself to him in the most primal and intimate of ways. She wanted to know what it would be like to be loved by a man like him, what it would feel like to have him inside her.

  “What!” I sat up. “You’re making that up.” I snatched the book away and started reading: “‘She wanted to know what it would be like to be loved by a man like him, what it would feel like to have him inside her. Would she scream his name? Would he moan hers as they became one…’ Oh, I see. It does say that.” I cleared my throat and felt my temperature rise. All this talk of sex first thing in the morning was making me rather flustered.

  “So what do you think? Will they get their happily ever after?” Dimitri grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto him. It felt so normal, as if we were a couple waking up in bed together.

  “I don’t know, we could always flip to the end of the book to find out,” I said teasingly.

  “And you?” He stroked the hair from my face. “Are you going to get your happily ever after?”

  “I hope so. I hope the private investigator can find my dad. Then I guess I would.”

  A frown played on Dimitri’s forehead. “Is that the only way you’d be happy?” He looked at me with such intensity. “Isn’t there anything else?” His hands moved to my face and he cradled my cheeks gently, bringing me closer to him.

  “Yes. I guess there is.” My heart began to pound again as I stared into his eyes. Something uncontrollable was happening inside me. Words floated around in my head and then worked their way onto the tip of my tongue. I wanted to open my mouth and tell him how I felt, that I…

  The realization hit me all at once. This had crossed over from “like” a while ago. I’m not sure at what point it had happened, or what the exact moment was, but I think I had fallen in love with this man…

  We finally got out of bed and started the day—just like any other normal day. Except that it wasn’t. How could it be when the nature of our relationship had changed so dramatically overnight? For me anyway. Although it seemed like it had for Dimitri, too, because any chance he got, he was either touching me, wrapping his arms around me, or kissing me, as if I was his girlfriend. Am I? The thought made me smile, and I found myself in the strange, unfamiliar position of feeling happier than I’d felt in forever. I felt free and uninhibited here. I felt more at home here and more like myself with Dimitri than I ever had been.

  When he’d asked me a few days ago whether I’d ever experienced an attraction so strong that I couldn’t bear being away from that person—I hadn’t. But now I had. If it were possible to drink him in or inhale him, at this stage I would have.

  “Where are you taking me now?” I asked as the boat started moving again.

  “There are so many places I want to show you. And if you stayed here with me for a year, I still wouldn’t be able to show you everything.” He smiled at me in a way that said,

  “Stay with me for a year and have sex with me. January, February, September, whenever sex.”

  “But right now, I’m taking you to the moon.”

  And he wasn’t lying. It did look like the surface of the moon. Soon I came face-to-face with an alien, otherworldly place that was hard to imagine even existed on this planet. The landscape was white as snow. The sea in front of us was the bluest I had seen so far, and massive white cliffs rose up out of the water. The smooth white rocks spread out before us in strange, curvy shapes. Spires and arches and pillars of white rock punctuated the eerie white panorama.

  “It’s amazing,” I said in absolute awe as we approached in the boat. Dimitri cut the engines and dropped the anchor and the boat came to a soft, smooth rest, where it floated on the brilliant blue waters.

  “Grab a change of clothes,” Dimitri said as he started filling a bag up with dry towels and a pair of his shoes. I went downstairs and returned with another dress, a shirt, and an extra pair of shorts. He put them in the bag and then tossed it overboard.

  “Hey,” I shouted after it.

  “It’s waterproof,” he said with a smile before pulling his shirt off and then throwing himself overboard, doing a somersault as he went. He landed with a massive splash.

  I pulled my dress off to reveal my bathing suit and jumped into the water. It was so warm and crystal clear that I could see every detail of my hands if I held them in front of me underwater.

  Dimitri and I swam to the beach and climbed out. I thought we were going to join the other sunbathers on the beach, but Dimitri grabbed me by the hand. “Not here,” he said, leading me away from the beach. “I know you hate the sand.” We strolled hand in hand over an ever-changing white landscape. We walked across the hot surface, rounded a corner, walked under a white rocky overhang, and emerged at a small, natural pool in the rocks.

  “Our own private pool.” Dimitri climbed in.

  He sat down on the bottom and the water just covered his shoulders. I followed him in. It was like a Jacuzzi for two, only it was on top of a strange white landscape with no one in sight and a never-ending view across the blue sea. It was magical. We were so alone it felt like we might be the only two people on earth. If that were the case, there was no one other than Dimitri I would want to spend an eternity with on a deserted planet. As soon as I had submerged myself in the water he pulled me onto his lap.

  “You know what I love most about this day?” Dimitri said, running his hands up and down my back.

  I shook my head, mesmerized by the feelings rushing through me once more.

  “I get to touch you whenever I want.” He paused and looked at me with pure lust. His eyes traveled down to my lips. “And I get to touch you however I like, too.”

  His hands came around to the front of me and moved up my body and onto my breasts. He brought his mouth down onto one and bit it gently through the bikini top.

  “Wait, I want to ask you something.” I pushed his head away quickly. “This feels like… this thing between us feels like a relationship, like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend or something…”

  “Aren’t we?”

  “Uh, I don’t know.”

  “Jane, you like logical arguments, so here goes. Two young, single people meet, they spend time together, they get to know each other, and they…” He slipped his hand into my bikini bottom. “They do things like this. What else would you call them?”

  “Wait, wait, wait!” I took his hand out and held it tightly. “But this is so unexpected and…” His hand broke free of my grip and began its wandering again. I let it. It traveled down until it was right back where it had started.

  “Oh God.” I winced. It wasn’t from pain. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen and…” He moved his hand back and forth a little. “Ah, mmm, and…” I could barely think straight. “I was just coming here to find my father. I never meant to come here and meet someone like yyy-oo-uuuu…” His hand moved a little faster and I almost forgot how to speak.

  “Wait!” I pulled his hand away again. “This is serious. I live in South Africa. You live in Greece and you love it here.”

  “You also love it here.” His hand started to slip back down, and my body began to crumble all over again. “You know, there are only two dentists on the whole of Santorini. I Googled it.”

  “What?” I pushed his hand away once more and stared at him. His green eyes met my gaze with such
intensity that they made my breath catch in my throat. “You’re being serious?”

  He smiled and then nodded.

  “But how would that work? I mean, I’m meant to be taking over my father’s business at the end of the year. Besides, I bet I would have to get a new practicing license all over again, it’s probably not even legal for a South African dentist to practice here, and how would one even establish a practice. Everyone hates the dentist, and they would probably all go to the one that they’ve been going to for years and not try some new girl.”

  “I’d go to you.” He smiled. “And my sisters.”

  “But do you have any idea how much money it would cost to even set that up. An X-ray machine alone probably costs twenty thousand dollars, not to mention all the lab equipment, and chairs and air compressors and drills and, and, and—” I felt quite panicked all of a sudden.

  “Stop thinking for once in your life.” His hand slipped back down. It was a determined little hand. And who was I to tell it not to go there.

  “Buuu… ttt—” I started to object again, but the things the hand was doing silenced me into a stupor.

  “Stop thinking and listen to your heart. What’s it telling you?”

  “But I never listen to my heart,” I somehow managed to say, despite growing waves of uncontainable pleasure.

  “That’s not true. You’re in Greece with me, aren’t you?”

  I couldn’t argue with that. My heart had been the organ that had governed this decision; my brain had no say in it whatsoever.

  “You know what my heart is telling me?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “My heart is telling me that I’ve met an amazing woman. I really like her, I like spending time with her and kissing her and…” He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “and if she’ll let me, making love to her?”

  “Uuuhhhh…” My throat dried up instantly. “It sounds, yes, it sounds like a pleasant idea.”

  Dimitri burst out laughing. “See, that’s what I love about you. You say the funniest things.”

  Oh my God, did he just say that he loved me? Suddenly the words bubbled up in my throat and I didn’t think I could hold them in, at all. They felt like they were swimming around in my mouth now and if I opened it, they would dive out uncontrollably. I bit my lip in an attempt to keep my mouth shut and the words trapped. But I was failing dismally. They were on the tip of my tongue again and they were about to force their way through my sealed lips, whether I wanted them to or not. There was no stopping them now…

  “I think I might be sort of falling in love with you, too.” They flew out. I couldn’t stop them, and it was only when I heard them that I fully realized what I had just said.

  Dimitri didn’t say anything. He just looked at me and I thought I saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes. This was not how I had imagined this going. Sudden panic gripped me: Maybe I had spoken too soon, maybe he didn’t feel the same way…

  “Come.” Dimitri climbed out of the water and pulled me with him. “I have a surprise for you.”

  He proceeded to lead me away from our private little paradise and before I knew it, we were in a taxi winding our way through the town. I was going through the journey in a kind of a giddy haze, vaguely aware of us stopping in front of a hotel and checking in. But when we walked into the room, my senses turned back on. My eyes flitted from the emperor-sized bed to a bottle of champagne, a huge basket of fresh fruit, a box of truffles, not to mention scented candles and roses strewn on the bed; the room practically screamed “romance” and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I stared at it openmouthed.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “I planned a whole romantic evening for us. I think they went a bit overboard with the petals, though,” he said.

  I gave him small, coy smile. “Planned? What kind of plan did you have in mind?”

  “It goes something like this…” He walked over to the champagne and opened it. It exploded with a loud pop and he poured two glasses and handed one to me.

  “I thought it might start with champagne. Then I thought we could do this…” He took me by the hand and led me onto the balcony. We were high up, but you could still see the sparkling sea below. The veranda had a small plunge pool and a large hammock that stretched across its entire length. It was spectacular.

  “Then what?” I asked, sipping on the champagne. He turned and smiled in a way that almost made my fingers loosen around the glass and drop it to the floor. He walked up to me and took the champagne flute from my hands. He put his glass down, too, and then pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside exuberantly. He reached out and pulled my dress over my head and dropped it on the floor. Then he started tugging on his shorts and boxers until both had fallen to the floor. I glanced down for a moment and saw him in his full nakedness. Then he did the same to me: pulled all my clothes off until I was standing completely naked in front of him.

  “And now what?” I asked. I couldn’t hide the feelings in my voice. The whisperiness was a dead giveaway.

  We stood opposite each other and just stared. Our eyes roving up and down each other’s bodies. Awe. That was the only word I could think of at this stage.

  “And now…” he said, looking at me intensely, “now I am going to do this…” He pulled me toward him and walked us backward to the hammock and then laid me down on it. He slowly lowered his body onto mine and the hammock swayed. I felt weightless underneath him.

  “And now this is the moment that I was going to tell you, that even though I only met you seven days ago, I think I’ve developed really strong feelings for you. I also think I’m falling in love with you, Jane. And then I was planning on doing this.”

  I gasped as he parted my legs and slipped inside me. So, so slowly. The hammock swung gently back and forth as I wrapped my legs around him. I pushed my hips up toward him and heard him exhale sharply. And then he kissed me gently on the lips and it felt like an act of pure love.

  “Is it crazy to have fallen for someone in seven days?” he whispered loudly before going back in and kissing me again. It was slow, sensual, and deep.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered back. “This whole thing has been crazy.” The feel of his hot tongue, his wet lips, his warm breath on me as it escaped from his mouth in tiny groans. His tongue explored, his hips started moving, slowly, fluidly, thrusting and receding. His mouth moved to my neck, where he nuzzled me softly and sensually.

  A moan escaped my lips as he got into a rhythm on top of me, the hammock swinging gently below us. I wrapped my arms around him and let our bodies rock as one together. I had never felt closer or more connected to another person than in that moment.

  Dimitri’s movements started speeding up. I clawed at his back as I felt myself speeding toward my release. He grabbed my face between his hands and attempted to kiss me in between the gagged, sharp breaths coming out of his mouth and then the start of a low moan.

  We both moved faster together until his body stiffened on top of me at exactly the same time as mine did. We finished together, and held on to each other for ages. I could feel his heart pounding against my sweaty chest, and mine got into a rhythm with it. He finally climbed off me and lay beside me on the hammock. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into the crook of his arm. There was a gentle evening breeze rushing past us, and we just lay together swinging and looking up at the sky.

  I felt at peace, truly at peace for the first time in a long time, possibly ever. The tight ball that had taken up permanent residence in my stomach was gone, and I felt completely comfortable with the silence and closeness. In that moment, looking up at the evening sky, I realized how different I felt. I was a totally different person. Greece had changed me. Just like Dimitri had said it would.

  I was no longer Plain Jane Smith, the girl that didn’t do spontaneous and wild. I was the girl who followed her heart and went with the flow. I was the kind of girl that ended up in Greece, who had wild sex in an alleyway and skinny-dipped a
nd was now lying naked in a hammock with the most amazing man.

  I wondered how many times my father had stared up at the exact same sky. I wondered if I had also walked in his shoes and seen and done the things he had. Maybe he was even looking up right now? Had he ever looked at the sky and wondered if I was looking up at it, too? Of course, I still had a little nagging doubt—I had no way of knowing whether he even knew of my existence. My father’s name was never put down on the birth certificate. Back then the law didn’t even require him to know that Phoebe was pregnant with me.

  But there was just something inside me that somehow made me sure. I felt some strange connection to this person I had never met. And the more time I’d spent here, the stronger it had become—and in turn, the stronger my connection to myself had become.

  I snuggled up even closer to Dimitri as I watched the night grow even darker. Coming here had changed me. Dimitri had helped change me. Somewhere along the way—and I couldn’t pinpoint when it had happened—I’d fallen for this man.

  I had discovered my own deep connection to this place, which I guess had always been somewhere inside me. It was probably the tiny piece I had gotten from my father. In some way, coming here had made me feel more whole and complete than I ever had. This was the cheesy ending to my novel: I’d come to Greece looking for my father, but had also found love and myself along the way.

  “You know, in this really weird way, I feel closer to my father than I’ve ever felt before. I feel like I’ve gotten to know him by seeing and doing all the things we have. It sounds silly… I know.”

  “It doesn’t sound silly.” He turned and looked at me and a massive smile broke out across his face, and then he sighed. It sounded like a sigh of relief. What was he so relieved about? “I hoped that would happen. I really, really hoped you would tell me that.”

  I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my elbow. “I just can’t wait to really meet him, though. I feel like meeting him will be the final piece of the puzzle that comes together.”

 

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