I can’t let it go at that, but encourage her to eat something instead of making her feel worse by going on about it.
“What makes you think it’s a he?” she finally asks after we both eat in silence for a while.
I shrug, looking out to the ocean. “A pretty girl like you," I muse aloud. “Makes sense you’d have admirers.”
She coughs loudly, coffee going down the wrong pipe.
“Admirer?” she finally gasps, laughing ironically. “When was the last time you got any sleep?” she asks, giving me a sideways glance.
“I mean it, Phoebe,” I tell her. “You’re beautiful, why wouldn’t you think someone could be driven half-crazy by you? Have you rejected anyone lately, anyone you can think of that would stalk you like this?”
I didn’t want to overwhelm her with questions, but now I can see even she’s willing to give it some thought.
Two heads are better than one after all.
She looks thoughtfully at the same horizon, but then puckers her lips, making a face.
“It’s sweet of you to say so, Max. But trust me, there’s no one in my life. Not now, not ever,” she reaffirms, making me feel that little stab of hurt again.
Didn’t she see what she does to me? Doesn’t she get it?
I feel like shaking her, grabbing her by the shoulders, and showing her just how much she means to me, but I have to remind myself, time and place. And everything on her terms.
I can’t push myself on her though, not if she doesn’t want me.
“I’ll tell you this much, Max,” she continues. “I’ve had plenty of people make fun of me, play pranks, and make me the butt of every joke since I was in grade school. Nothing changed through college either.”
She sounds like someone who’s seasoned in being down on herself, but if all that she’s said is true can I blame her?
“But why?” I hear myself asking her, asking the world really. “Why? How could anyone do that to you?”
Her head tilts and she narrows her eyes, only relaxing when she sees I’m being genuine.
“Ummm… My weight. My height, my clumsiness?” she tells me, a matter of fact. As if those are things I can even think about her let alone see.
Which I can’t. I don’t see any of that when I look at her, and I tell her so.
“Well, I don’t see those things when I look at you,” I tell her, surprising myself by suddenly feeling bashful, shy.
Only because I want to tell her just one thing, but I’m not sure if she feels exactly the same way.
“And what do you see when you look at me?” she asks, cocking a brow.
“I see someone who maybe wants a change. Someone who’s smart, caring. Beautiful,” I manage to get that much out.
She scoffs a laugh, blushing as she looks away.
“You’re very diplomatic, even sweet Maxwell Bear. But I’m not sure my life, let alone my little problem is so easily fixed by simply wanting it to change,” she finally sighs, turning to face me, her eyes looking sadder than ever.
“I wanna help you, Phoebe, I really do,” I tell her. “But you have to let me in.”
She licks her lips, opening them to tell me something when we both hear a gruff voice from behind us.
“Hey! Yo, Gold? Why’d you take off so fast?”
I’m on my feet in a second, turning with my fists balled up and ready to strike.
This piece of shit who’s been following her is about to get my own brand of justice.
I feel Phoebe right next to me, her hands on my arm, pulling it down.
“Max, no don’t. It’s… It’s my boss.”
I relax, a little but still keep an offense position as the guy gets closer.
He’s half a foot shorter than me and looks like he could take care of himself. He sniffs loudly as he eyes me up and down.
“Problem, fella?” he growls, cracking his neck before eyeballing Phoebe with a grin.
“Your dad’s lookin’ out for ya, Phoebe? That’s nice. But you ran off before I could talk to you after you finished your shift,” he tells her.
I let my hands relax, but keep close to Phoebe. Being called her dad makes me feel ancient. But I guess he’s just calling it how he sees it.
“Sorry, I just wanted to get home,” Phoebe pipes up. “What did you want to see me about?”
“Just askin’. If you still want that day off? I got somebody else who can take your spot for the next two days. I know you said you needed extra money, but the unions… I can’t work you nine days in a row. Sorry kid,” he says, looking over to me again, frowning at my suit.
She groans and starts to protest, but I squeeze her arm gently and lean in to tell her what I’ve been waiting for anyway.
“It’s alright, sweetie. We talked about me helping you out anyway, remember?” I ask her, noting her look of confusion but her boss looks like he’s done playing messenger for the day.
“See you Monday night, Gold. And don’t be late,” he says coldly, turning without saying goodbye and leaving us alone again.
“Nice guy, must be a hoot at the Christmas party,” I observe, but Phoebe’s not in a joking mood.
“What was all that about?” she growls at me, twisting her face in anger.
“I was all set to do extra to make up for what I owe… what I owe you now, then you come out with that?” she says, flushing a deeper shade of red.
“I was gonna talk to you about it,” I confess. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this past few hours, about how I can help you,” I remind her.
“Maybe I don’t need your help,” she huffs, looking hurt and angry. “Maybe I just wish everyone would just leave me alone!”
I feel my mouth hanging open. I don’t know what to say, except I know now she’s damn fine when she’s mad. Although I also know maybe now isn’t the best time to tell her that.
“Creepy stalker. Even creepier boss and now I’ve got some locksmith trying to tell me how to live my life,” she continues, far from being done just yet.
I should feel hurt, but the way her chin gets a dimple in it, the way she tosses her golden mane when she’s really pissed.
I can’t help but smile.
“It’s not funny,” she growls, pounding my chest until I close my hands over hers, calming her down instantly.
“I’m not making fun of you,” I promise her. “You’re just too cute when you’re mad.
There. I said it. Had to because it’s so true.
“Who are you?” she asks, holding back tears I know she wants to let fall. “Why would you of all people even give a crap about someone like me?”
I squeeze her hands in mine and lean closer to tell her softly.
“If you give me a chance, we might both find out.”
CHAPTER NINE
Phoebe
Damn Maxwell Bear.
Damn him for being so freaking perfect.
I just want to scream and shout, to finally howl out all the emotions I’ve bottled up for so long, and what does he do?
He holds my hands against his rock hard chest, looking down at me with puppy dog eyes, asking me to let him show me just how much he cares.
How much we might just care about each other if I’ll only just let it all happen.
“You called me sweetie just now,” I challenge him, still sniffing back tears. “Almost kissed me too, yesterday,” I hear myself say.
“Your boss thought I was your dad,” he explains. “Just playing along,” he adds, creasing a smile but keeping his hands over mine.
“And almost kissing me?”
I have to ask. I need to know.
“Almost,” Max says absently.
“But you never would have, not really,” I tell him, feeling like he never will now that I’ve acted like such a lunatic.
“I think when I do, if you ever want me to, I know I won’t be able to stop,” he tells me, taking my breath away with the last thing I thought I’d ever hear anyone say, least of all a man like Maxwel
l Bear.
Trembling under his touch, I wish I could muster the courage to stand on tippy toes and kiss him myself.
Wish I could believe any of this was real. Everything feels like some weird dream, but a good one I know I don’t have to wake up from ever again if I don’t want to.
Especially when it’s Max who leans in to kiss me.
To really kiss me this time.
I don’t try to stop him, wouldn’t dare. This is my chance and I’m determined not to let it pass me by a second time.
I feel like I’m floating as his lips press firmly over mine and it’s not until his grip around my body registers that I realize he’s picked me up as if I weigh nothing.
It’s a tender, slow kiss. Lips only.
He’s the perfect gentleman but I have to know, I’ve never had anyone kiss me like this or at all so I go for broke in case it never happens again.
Okay, so I discover I’m not much of a kisser as it turns out but Max is so patient, letting me find my own way as he returns my kiss once our mouths lock and our tongues start to explore.
I hear myself mewing, making strange sounds I can’t help. My whole body flushed with a sudden urge to do a whole lot more than just kiss and run my hands over Max.
His own low sounds, plus the sensation of his hardness pressing against me tell me I’m doing okay.
It feels so right, so natural. Like we’ve wasted enough time with talking already.
This is what we both should have been doing since the moment he laid eyes on me.
He was right too, once he starts he doesn’t want to stop and I have to press gently on his chest to signal I need to come up for air.
“Told you,” he groans gently in my ear, squeezing me tight before he sets me down.
“I could hold and kiss you all day, Phoebe. And all night too,” he says, which makes me flush harder than I already have.
His huge fingers curl around my hands as I look up at him, shivering a breath as I try to think of what to say. Try to even remember what we were even talking about.
It feels like the whole world has melted, along with all my troubles, and Max is like the rising sun behind us. The dawn of a new day. The start of the rest of my life for the better from now on.
“I want to take you home, Phoebe,” he says firmly.
No argument there, the thought of catching the subway back to my apartment doesn’t thrill me much.
But then I catch his real meaning.
“I’ve thought long and hard, all night. I don’t want you in that apartment another day. I want you and Trixie to come stay with me. So we can all be together,” he tells me, a matter of fact. Like it’s already happened.
Playing it safe, tactfully. I suggest maybe we just get me home first, so I can walk Trixie and maybe talk about it some more.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Phoebe,” he says earnestly, holding my hands tighter as he swells up, looking like he’ll burst if I don’t agree.
“I just want to know you’re safe. Know that you’re treated the way you deserve to be.”
His honesty and his passion bowl me over. He means every word and not in a trying to tell me what to do way, but in a way that a man might tell a woman how much he wants her. How much he has to offer me and the only way to prove it is by showing me. By doing everything he says he wants to.
Noting my silence and my hesitation, he apologizes.
“It’s too much isn’t it?” he groans, looking down at his feet and kicking at the ground gently with his foot.
“I’m not sorry though, Phoebe. I mean it. I want you. All of you and that means taking you away from that shitty apartment and this even shittier job,” he says, almost angry at the thought of me doing it all for even one more day.
I’m a little taken aback, to say the least. A little annoyed even.
“My shitty life?” I ask him, not quite repeating what he said, but I get the meaning.
“Shitty circumstances, Phoebe,” he says softly, looking into my eyes and shrugging a little.
“Your life isn’t shitty and neither are you, I just mean…”
I know what he means and my annoyance soon passes once I can see how genuine and caring he really is about all this.
It is a lot to take in and I’m a creature of habit. I’ve gotten so used to everything just being me and Trixie, I honestly don’t know if I can risk just tossing away my job and apartment.
Even for Mr. Perfect here.
It all seems too good to be true.
“Just tell me you’ll think about it?” Max finally ask, reading my mind and sensing my mood, which he’s so good at it’s almost spooky.
“Oh, I’m thinking about it,” I counter. “But you can see how I can’t just leap into your arms and forget everything else. My job, my home. Even if it is a crummy situation at the moment – it’s all I’ve got Max and we have only just met.”
Party pooper.
It’s the truth though. In my heart I know I have feelings for Maxwell, big feelings I can’t deny. But I’ve moved so many times, changed towns and jobs so much. I’d hate to have to do it all again, start from zero just because I leaped before I looked.
He looks away thoughtfully, finally creasing his stubbled lip into a broad smile before he kisses me again.
“Deal,” he says, hugging me as he shields me from the sea breeze that’s whipped up. Some dark clouds loom over the horizon, and he suggests we head home. My home, just for now.
“Where did you park?” I ask, hooking my arm around his waist, soaking up his warmth and more of his cologne that seems to ooze out of him.
The pure essence of man mixed with spice and the woods after a rain.
“Across the street from your apartment,” he confesses and I have to laugh, mainly out of nervousness.
“So… You actually followed me on the subway then waited for me all night underneath a bridge?”
I can tell what he’s thinking, and he’s quick to tell me I’m mistaken.
“I’m not your stalker Phoebe. You’ve gotta believe me. I just couldn’t go back to my life without knowing where you were, what you were doing. Knowing you were safe.”
“And what about Trixie?” I ask, pretending to be annoyed. “Who was looking after her?” I protest.
“See?” he tells me, smiling. “That’s why we all need to stick together, the three of us.
“Like the three bears?” I murmur.
“Huh?” Max asks, leaning over.
“Nothing,” I whisper with a smile to myself. “Nothing.”
CHAPTER TEN
Maxwell
With no car at the ready, it’s a perfect excuse for a walk along the shoreline past the pier on our way back.
We’ve broken the ice, and I’ve told Phoebe as much as I can about how I feel about her. About how bad I want her, not just today but for every day after today as well.
She’s hesitant, but her own body seems to know what it needs as much as mine knows what it wants to give her.
Satisfied with holding each other as we walk and stopping to kiss her from time to time, we end up closer to civilization at some point after an hour or two. I hail a passing cab, taking us both back to her apartment.
Phoebe looks as tired as I feel, but there’s too much of a spark between us to make either of us want to show it.
Little Trixie, her baby is waiting patiently by the door once we get to her apartment, and Phoebe tells me we’ll need to walk her.
Sooner rather than later is best, I find out. Not even minding when I scoop up after her tiny dog before we even get half a block away.
“I think she likes you,” Phoebe teases me, but even I notice how interested little Trixie is in her mommy’s new best friend.
I deliberately avoid bringing up anything to do with those notes she’s been getting, nothing is going to ruin this for either of us. I promise her and myself silently.
After a brisk walk for a few more blocks before we head back, little Trix
ie is ready for a rest but there’s only one thing on my mind.
Fortunately, Phoebe feels the same way, and not long after we get back inside her apartment, we gravitate towards each other again. Our mouths locked and our bodies in a passionate embrace.
I want more than just hugs and kisses now, and her straying hands tell me she wants more as well.
“I want you, Phoebe,” I tell her between kisses. Both hands on her ample chest and her long flowing locks brushing against me as she moans loudly. She’s holding my hands there herself and guiding me to move my thick fingers over her stiff nipples just how I discover she likes it.
Her breathing matches mine, rapid and heavy. There’s no use denying ourselves anything anymore as we both feel helpless under the invisible force between us that’s bringing us together.
“Tell me you want it,” I groan in her ear, feeling her hand run up and down my hardness through my pants.
“I want you here,” she coos, gripping me through the fabric before guiding one of my hands between her thick thighs, gasping at my touch.
I can feel her heat already, sensing her wetness. Needing to taste all of her in my mouth and I tell her so.
“I want you to sit on my face and fuck it until you come in my mouth,” I hear myself telling her. Almost ordering her to do it, which only makes her whimper harder, her head giving little nods as she starts to struggle out of her work clothes.
Taking stock of the situation, I calm her with my lips, slowing the excitement just long enough so I can enjoy undressing her myself.
Teasing her clothes off her creamy smooth shoulders, running my lips across every inch of her exposed skin while she shudders under my touch.
“I want to unwrap you myself first though,” I whisper to her, trying hard to save her essence for last, but finding my hand straying between her legs again once her pants are down, bringing her juices to my lips and tasting her before letting her taste herself on my lips.
“Maxwell…” she gasps, her trembling hands clawing at me as she struggles to speak.
In moments she’s down to her bra and sodden panties, her chest heaving under my grip before I press her whole shivering body against mine. The heat and hardness from my own arousal pressing into her mound, making her jerk suddenly, already so close to her own climax.
Goldie Locks: A Steamy Standalone Instalove Romance Page 5