The Right Side of Forever (The Perfect Duet Book 2)

by Meghan Quinn

  Sucking hard, she focuses her mouth on the head of my cock, pumping me with one hand and rolling my balls with the other.

  I grip her ass, feeling her slide ever so slightly on my chest, her arousal growing with every suck of my dick in her mouth. Fuck, I want to pull her backward so her wet pussy is over my mouth.

  Squeezing hard and sucking at the same time, she attacks my dick with her hand and her mouth, causing me to once again see stars. Best fucking head ever.

  I groan.

  I shift beneath her.

  Every last cell in my body focuses on the center where my balls tighten, my stomach drops, and I come so hard that my vision turns black and I’m dizzy. She’s pumping me so damn hard that for a second I think I blackout until she slows down and things come back into view.

  I drape my arm over my eyes, completely spent from one orgasm. “Fuck, Ryan.”

  She licks around my cock and then turns around so I can see her triumphant face. She lowers her mouth to my chest where she kisses it up and down. “I’m still turned on, Colby. I’m going to need you to take care of that.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her and then smile. “Well then, sit on my face so I can tongue fuck you again, baby.”

  The speed limits on base are infuriating. Twenty-five miles per hour at some parts, and there are no kids around anywhere. I get they don’t want dickheads speeding, but for fuck’s sake, this is torture.

  And speeding isn’t an option. If you get a ticket on base, you’re looking at a world of hurt from your commanding officer, and I prefer not to have to deal with that.

  My truck moves along slowly as my patience wears thin. After a long day at work, going through hours of briefing and debriefing and two hours in the jet, I want to be home and stretched out, Ryan on my side, curled in tightly.

  I also want to forget about the killer news that was handed out to me today. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t think it was going to be so goddamn quick, and I have no clue how to handle it.

  I’ve been re-stationed.

  My prior PCS wasn’t bad because I went from Luke in Phoenix to Nellis near Las Vegas. Pretty easy. But this new assignment? Fuck, it’s going to change everything.

  How the hell am I supposed to tell Ryan I’m leaving for Korea in three weeks?

  I knew it would happen at some point, but when Bent said our orders were pushed up, I had a sickening feeling hit me in the stomach and a sense of foreboding overwhelm me.

  I’m finally in a place in my personal life where I feel like everything is going right—the peace in my relationship with Ryan—and now I’m forced to mess with that.

  What the hell am I supposed to say to Ryan? Hey, babe, I love you, and even though we’ve only been dating for a little bit, I want you to drop everything and move to Korea with me?

  I know she loves me, but are we at that stage yet? The stage where we sacrifice our lives for each other? And when I say we, I mean her. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m committed to the Air Force, and when it comes to a military lifestyle, you don’t get an opinion.

  After what seems like forever, I finally pull into my driveway, Ryan’s car parked on the side of the street, my heart racing, knowing I’m going to see her in a few seconds. I grab my duffle-bag and quickly make my way into the house where I see Ryan sitting on the couch, reading a book she told me Oprah said was the “must read” for the year.

  She’s curled up in one of my shirts, tea at her side, and a blanket only covering her toes. She looks so fucking cuddle-able.

  I shut the door and she pulls her head from her book, taking me in. And this is what I love the most about us. Coming home to Ryan. To those gorgeous, fuckable lips, the sparkle in her mesmerizing blue eyes, the mischief brewing in her incredible mind, and the most incredible body I want to get lost in. Coming home, knowing not only is she my best friend, but she’s my lover, the love of my life. Fuck, I can’t lose this. There has to be a way we can make this work. I know there is a way we can make this work.

  “You’re home. I ordered Chinese. It should be here soon.” I sense sadness in her voice, like she’s masking it with a fake sense of happiness.

  Does she know?

  A little cautious, I say, “Thanks, baby.” I lean over the couch and place a kiss on her lips. “How’s your book?”

  “It’s okay. Kind of wish there was less internal dialogue and more sex. The main characters just started to hold hands. It’s freaking torture. I want to scream for them to whip out the dick already.”

  I chuckle and take a seat next to her on the couch. “Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Her face drops, and my throat tightens. I need to jump straight into this conversation. If I don’t, she’ll know something is up. Hell, it almost feels like something is up. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Balboa told Sage who maybe approached Ryan to ask if she was okay.

  She eyes me suspiciously. “Why do I feel like you’re about to drop a bomb on me?”

  Because I am.

  I take her hand in mine and rub her knuckles, wanting to stay connected with her as I deliver this new information, wanting to keep her as calm as possible.

  “So, obviously being in the military, I don’t get to make many decisions about my future, like when I get promoted, what I might fly, and where I might live.”

  She raises an eyebrow at me. “Are you moving across the country?”

  I wince. “Uh, more like across the world.”

  “What?” Her eyes widen. Okay, she didn’t know.

  “Before you start to freak out, it’s only for a year.” As if that really matters.

  “Where, Colby?”

  I take a deep breath and try to keep my face neutral. “Korea.”

  “Korea?” she shouts, mouth falling open in shock. “Like . . . Korea, the country? Not some unknown small town in Georgia?”

  “Yes, Ryan, the country.” Fuck, her eyes start bouncing back and forth, and her mind is no doubt whirling. “It’s time I was stationed overseas. I knew it was coming. I’ve been stateside for too long, and they want some experienced F-22 pilots over there. We were PCS-ed and leave in three weeks.”

  “Wait, what? Three weeks?” She tries to pull away but I scoot closer.

  “Believe me, I wish we had more time to get things arranged, but they’re in desperate need for us. I wish there was some good news I could give you, but unfortunately, when it comes to the military, when they tell you to move, you move.”

  “But it’s Korea.” And prior to getting together with Ryan, this wouldn’t have bothered me. My soul purpose has been to protect and serve my country. But now, it’s like my heart is struggling to accept what it’s always known was my future. Assignments overseas. Life as an airman. I truly hadn’t had a clue what it would feel like to leave someone precious behind. And now I might find out.

  “I know. Until you, Ryan, I’ve never truly understood what the facts of military life would do to my significant other.”

  “Yeah . . .” she breathes out, avoiding all eye contact.

  Knowing this is going to sound crazy, I take a deep breath and say, “You can come with me, Ryan.”

  “Go with you?” She laughs nervously. “Go to Korea?”

  “Yeah, go to Korea. The base is really nice. They make it really livable for families.”

  “It’s Korea, Colby, across the world.”

  I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but I want you to think about it, because I want you there. I need you there.” Truer words I’ve never spoken. I need her with me.

  She shakes her head and stands from the couch. “I don’t know, Colby. I’m barely surviving Vegas. I’m still struggling. I’m still considering moving back to the Springs—”

  “What?” My brow pulls together. “What do you mean you’re thinking about moving back to Colorado? Why would you do that?”

  “I don’t know,” she answers, her hand pressed to her head. But from the look in he
r eyes, she does know. There’s something she’s not telling me. “You make me feel good, Colby, but is it enough?”

  “What the hell? Where is this coming from?” Color me confused, because I thought we were happy, but here she is, a few conversations away from moving from me.

  She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I mean, would you really want me to follow you to Korea? I offer nothing to the relationship. Would I be able to get a job? Or would I just be freeloading off you, unable to make you a damn meal for when you come home? What do you really see in me, Colby, that is worth anything?”

  I know I caught her off guard by springing Korea on her, but she’s throwing me more off balance with this conversation. What does she offer me? How does she not see how happy she makes me, how fucking desperate I am to have her around me all the time? Last thing I knew, we were good, solid, in love, so where the hell is this coming from?

  “You’re worth so much, Ryan.”

  Disagreeing with me, she walks toward her purse, and takes her keys. “I can’t do this right now. I need to go.”

  “Wait, hold the fuck on.” I step in front of the door before she can bolt, my anger starting to boil inside me. “You can’t just leave. You need to talk to me. This is a grown-up relationship, Ryan. We talk to each other, we work things out, and we find solutions. We don’t up and leave without a word. You need to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, because I can tell there is something you’re not telling me, and in order for this to work, you need to let me in.”

  Looking away, she lets out a low breath. “It’s been a tough day, okay? My mom called me and said she was coming to visit tomorrow. I’m anxious and nervous about seeing her and then this new information . . . It’s all too much to handle right now. I need some space.”

  I know what a trigger is. I have the same reaction Ryan is having right now when anything even remotely reminds me of my stepdad. I can understand where she is coming from, and from what she’s told me, her mom is a huge trigger, one I don’t think I’m ready to take on, because I might lose my shit around her.

  Trying not to take this personally and putting myself in Ryan’s shoes, I tamp down my anger and close the space between us, lifting her chin so she’s forced to look me in the eyes.

  “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way right now. If my stepdad were coming to visit, I would feel the same anxiety you are. I understand, baby. So if you want some space to work out your feelings, I’ll give you some space. But I don’t want you to drift too far away, okay? What I told you tonight was a shock, but what I said holds true. I want you with me.” I gently press a kiss across her lips. “I love you so goddamn much, Ryan, so please don’t let this news deter you from that. Okay?”

  She nods, but due to the blank stare in her eyes, I have a heart-sinking feeling in my chest.

  “Will you stay with me tonight? I’ll give you space, but will you sleep next to me? Eat the Chinese you ordered? I want to make sure you’re okay.” She looks away and I direct her eyes back to mine. “Please stay. I’ll give you all the space you need, please just stay with me.” Please don’t leave me. Show me we can conquer this.

  She bites her bottom lip and when I think she’s about to tell me to move, she lightly nods her head and buries her body into mine. Relief washes over me as I wrap my arms around her.

  Thank fuck.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  RYAN

  My hands shake, my knee bounces up and down, and my stomach churns to the point that I feel like I’m going to throw up.

  She’s going to be here any minute, and I’m terrified.

  I spent hours getting ready this morning, making sure my eyebrows were shaped perfectly, my hair straight and smooth, no frizz, and my outfit classy and stylish. I don’t think I can take any criticism, not right now. I have too much going on in my head.

  What am I supposed to do with my life? This job at the variety show isn’t working out like I thought it would, and I’m feeling more and more insecure as I make already beautiful women even more beautiful.

  It’s taken a huge hit to my self-confidence. I look at myself in the mirror and hate the woman I am, hate the worry lines I’ve developed, and the weathered look in my eyes.

  Colby, he’s . . . he’s everything I could have ever asked for in a man. He tries to lift me up rather than bring me down, but I don’t know if it’s enough. And Korea? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I desperately want to jump on board and say yes, let’s go, let’s do this. But I’m already lost. I still don’t know who I am, where I’m going with my life, and I don’t know if living in a completely different environment like Korea is going to improve my mental health.

  And I know my mental health is at an all-time low. It’s been at a low ever since I left Colorado Springs. I know I have Colby in my life now and I should be ecstatic, but there are some unresolved issues deep in my soul that plague me every damn day of my life, issues I can’t seem to get past, issues that are causing me severe mental distress. And it all stems from one person.

  The woman who will be here any moment.

  I left Colby’s house this morning, early enough, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before taking off. He wasn’t very happy I didn’t wake him up, but I wasn’t ready to start talking, to have a conversation about what to expect today.

  There is a knock at my door and my stomach immediately sinks.

  Looking at the door, my body is stiff, and I’m unable to move. I don’t know if I can do this.

  My mind goes to the little girl in middle school, her belly hanging over her jeans, and her mom poking it as she walks by, telling her to eat fewer potatoes and more carrots.

  Another knock.

  I nervously stand, the option not to answer becoming more and more like a reality. If I’m really quiet, maybe she won’t know I’m here. Then again, my car is out front, and she most likely saw it.

  I twist my hands together and take a step toward the door, scanning my room again to make sure nothing is out of place.

  Another step forward. Adjust my dress and run my tongue along my teeth.

  Another step. Scan the mirror, one more look.

  Makeup is good. Hair is good. Dress isn’t too revealing, but shows enough of my flat stomach I don’t believe I’ll be criticized. I can do this.

  With one last deep breath, I open the door . . . and there she is. My mom, standing on the other side, polished and perfect.

  My mom has never been known to wear mom jeans, yoga pants, or sweats as regular attire. She’s always in a pair of slacks or a dress with a matching cardigan, jewelry, and shoes. She spends a good portion of her morning getting ready for the day and doesn’t remove her look until she’s about to climb into bed.

  She’s the epitome of perfection. Fine, smooth skin, bright blue eyes, and perfectly highlighted hair. Her yoga has kept her body slim and trim, and her many facials have kept her looking incredibly young. At this point, I’m pretty sure we could be considered sisters.

  The short straps of her purse rest on her forearm, her hands clutched together, and her lips are pursed.

  She hasn’t changed a bit.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  Not even hiding it, she gives me the anticipated but loathed once-over, assessing me. I don’t fidget, I don’t hide, and I sure as hell don’t lower my chin. I keep it at an even level, as I hold on to the door for support, trying not to show how nervous I feel.

  “Ryan, it’s nice to see you.” She leans forward and pretends to hug me as she taps me on the shoulder. Standing straight again, she takes in my tiny apartment and says, “Shall I come in?”

  “Sure. It’s not much, but it works for now.” I step to the side and watch as her judgmental gaze begins her inventory.

  “You’re sleeping on an air mattress?”

  “Yeah, just until I find a new place and can get a bed.”

  She nods and keeps her hands at her sides while she takes in my camp
ing chairs and lack of kitchen.

  “Well, it seems like you’ve been living the best you can given what you have.”

  Is that a compliment?

  “But we can’t possibly have a conversation here in camping chairs. Shall we get lunch?”

  No, we shall not. How about instead, you go home and I crawl into my bed? How does that sound?

  “Sure.” I grab my purse and keys. “Anything you have in mind?”

  We walk out of my apartment as my mom holds her stomach. “Something nice.”

  And with that, she leads the way to the parking lot as if she’s lived here as long as I have. Phone in hand, I check it real quick, catching a text from Colby. Since I’m behind my mom and she can’t see me, I read it.

  Colby: Wanted to let you know I love you and I’m here for you.

  I press my lips together, my emotions getting the best of me as I realize he’s by far the best man I’ve ever met, kind and caring . . . and moving in three weeks.

  If he were here, I know he would protect me from my mom. He would boast about me, and tell her how amazing I am, because that’s what he tells me almost every day. But he’s not here because I didn’t invite him, too nervous that my mom would embarrass me in front of my boyfriend.

  We spend the next ten minutes not really speaking to each other but driving to the restaurant as my mom looks out the window. Occasionally I see her nose lift in disgust from the corner of my eye. Las Vegas is not a place I could see my mom enjoying. She’s not a snob, but she doesn’t agree with the vibe of Las Vegas, I know that for a fact. More of a health nut, this isn’t the place for her.