by Caryl McAdoo
“Yes, sir, of course.” She stiffened her back and looked him dead in his eyes. “I not only understand, but find myself in full agreement.”
“First thing, are you a believer?”
“Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.” A rush of calm, easy, amity blew over her. “I asked Jesus into my heart as a child. I’ve been His since I was eight.”
“Baptized?”
“Yes, sir. A large group of my neighbors on the prairie back home in Texas gathered for a baptismal service in the Red River right before that summer’s fish fry.”
“And your husband died in the war?”
“Yes, sir.” No reason to tell everything she knew, that his stubbornness killed him, not a Yankee bullet. Would that make a difference?
“Tell us about Marcus Ford.”
What? Marcus? What did he have to do with any of this? She filled her lungs then nodded. “Yes, sir. I met the Major on the stage between Mount Pleasant and Jefferson in October when I began my trip here. He’d served in my father’s brigade during the war, bunked with my husband who had also been a major. You might say we hit it off.”
“I see.”
She shrugged. “He planned on going to Nashville. Said he had an interview for a teaching position at the university there.”
“But…his plans changed?”
“Yes, I suppose they did, although I had no idea. I guess he decided to follow me here instead.”
“You say you hit it off. Could you please explain to the board what that means? Exactly.”
Her scalp tingled, and her dander wanted nothing more but to rise, but she kept her composure. Her boys’ future depended on it. These men had a right to quiz her.
“It means, sir, that we were—and are, to be completely truthful—attracted to each other. I’ve found Marcus Ford to be a man of the highest integrity, and I would never do anything to dishonor my heavenly Father or my earthly father.”
Brother Paul nodded as though he accepted her answer. “What are your plans with the man?”
Would loving Marcus help her cause? She couldn’t lie. Only the truth would do. All of the breath left her with a heavy sigh. “He’s ask me to marry him, sir…but…at this time, he isn’t a believer. I cannot, will not, unequally yoke myself.”
All the men’s heads bobbed to some degree. She hoped in favor of what she’d said. It seemed so, though Brother Paul appeared to tense up.
“There’s another matter we need to discuss.” The man looked over her head. Was he blushing?
“You may ask me anything, sir. I’ll answer any question to have the honor of being Michael and Gabriel’s mother.”
“Uh.” He cleared his throat, covering his mouth as if it were a cough. “It’s about…the time of life, ma’am. Uh –”
“No, sir. I’m not that old yet. I turned forty-two my last birthday.”
Smiling, he nodded. “The reason I ask…if you and Mister Ford were to marry—at some point in the future—then have a child of your own, it’s been our experience the adopted children suffer.”
She shook her head. “Never. That will not happen. Number one, Marcus blames God for the death of his first wife and baby. They succumbed to the yellow fever during the New Orleans epidemic.”
“I see.” Was that all he knew to say? Did he really see? Could he?
“Well, though my dearly departed always blamed himself for us not having any children, I can’t know that for a fact it was him and not myself.”
“Yes, but if….”
“If God, in His great mercy, blesses me with these two boys, then at any future time chooses to give me another child, then I would count all three His best blessings of my life, sir.”
“I see.”
“I’d never show any difference, for I know I couldn’t love a third child any more than I already love my Michael and Gabriel. No, a pregnancy would not affect how much I love my sons.
“I’m the oldest of five sisters and two brothers. Never once did I stop loving any of them, or love any of them less, because another came along.”
Her bother-in-law spoke up. “Rebecca, if we allow the adoption, where would you be living?”
“I plan on going back to Texas. Traveling with my sister Bonnie and her new husband. For now, the boys and I will live with Daddy and Mama May, but he’s hankering to move to Llano. That’s south, a few hundred miles in the Texas hill country. Levi and Rose.”
She faced the other men one at a time as she spoke. Mama taught her to look other people in their eyes. Let them know you see them.
“He’s my cousin by birth but more a brother. He and his wife want to buy the big house. I’ve thought about buying their place. It’d be better suited for the boys and me. But nothing is settled. I could build on the ranch.”
Her brother-in-law nodded and glanced around at his cohorts. “I know the place.” Then he faced her again. “Two boys by yourself…not so much now as when they’re older…you’d be taking on a handful.”
“I wouldn’t be alone. My father and brother have been very astute in business, and I’m a full partner. The ability to hire all the help I might need isn’t a problem, and I will. Still, with a family as big ours, there will be ample menfolk to help in anyway needed. Houston, Chester, Charley, Bart…to name a few.”
“Any other questions, gentlemen?” Paul looked both directions, no one responded.
“Thank you, Mis’ess Rusk. If you’d be so kind as to step out, we’ll let you know of our decision shortly.”
“Today? Oh, that will be wonderful! Thank you.” She stood, smiled at each man, then walked out. Perhaps she shouldn’t have told them what she’d decided, about going back to Texas, but that might sway them in the wrong direction.
If they found against her taking the boys home, she could apply again, promising to raise them right there in California.
Gwen, Bonnie, Clay, and Jasper waited on one side of the outer room. Even Mary Rachel waited with them, and Marcus sat a wingback in the far corner. She wanted him, to hug her tell her everything would be fine.
But that wouldn’t do. Instead she faced her family and smiled best she could.
Gwendolyn stood. “What did they say?”
“That they would let me know something shortly.”
Time! What was taking so much of it?
Rebecca stood, stepped to the window, then sat back down. What was holding them up? She turned toward Gwendolyn. “How long has it been?”
She elbowed her husband. Clay pulled a watch from his vest pocket. “Twenty-two minutes.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I’m certain you mean an hour and twenty-two minutes, don’t you?”
Before her brother-in-law could correct his mistake, the door opened. Jethro Risen held it out. “Rebecca, would you be so kind as to join us?”
She couldn’t read the man’s face. He didn’t look like the bearer of good news…no hearty smile. But his tone wasn’t conciliatory either. She glanced at Marcus who offered an encouraging grin. If only the decision had been his, she’d be a shoe-in.
Stiffening her back, she marched in. “Of course.”
The men stood and Brother Paul gestured toward the same chair she’d sat before. “Have a seat, Mis’ess Rusk.”
She did, but couldn’t relax.
The preacher leaned in a bit. “If we don’t allow you to adopt the two boys, ma’am—being alone and all—what are your plans?”
“I’ll stay right here with my sons. I will not abandon them. Though I much prefer rearing them under the open skies of the Texas prairie.” She filled her lungs. Why was he asking that question? Should she ask? Had they decided against her? He did say if… She should say something or….
“And what if we felt it might be best to award only the older boy? One child would be easier.”
“I’d still stay here. I will not leave either, and I can hardly imagine you gentlemen would separate those brothers. I certainly could not. When I first came, Michael only wanted to sit the co
rner and watch over Gabriel.
“They’re family, sir. He loves his little brother. I could not live with myself if I were the cause of separating them. Besides, I love that baby, too.”
“I see.”
“And…” She cleared her throat and choked back a flood. “I think the little darling loves me, too. He smiles when I sing to him, touches my face… No. I couldn’t leave him. In my heart, those boys are mine.
“I can’t explain it, but from the first moment I laid eyes on them—I’d intended to look around more, see all the children—but in an instant, the Lord bonded my heart.”
“We understand, Mis’ess Rusk, that you’re lonely and need a distraction to fill your –”
“Distraction!” She stood. “Do you think that’s what those boys are to me? That could not be any further from the truth. I’ve prayed about this for months! I’m telling you all, God has given me those boys, no matter what you are to decide.”
Suddenly, Jethro stood next to her, patting her back.
She sniffed then looked around at each man, pleading with her eyes. “Please, gentlemen. You hold my life in your grip.”
“Won’t you sit, Rebecca?” Jethro pulled her chair out a bit. “Believe that we are torn over this decision and only want what’s best for you and the boys.”
Searching his eyes, she begged. “Then give them to me, Brother. I am what is best for them.” She sat again.
Brother Paul stood. “Well, Mis’ess Rusk that is exactly what I have decided to do. The board is recommending that the court allows you to adopt both boys.”
“You have?” Tears filled her eyes and she made no attempt to restrain them. You’re approving me? The adoption?”
On her feet, she hurried to each. She wanted to laugh, kiss every one of the galoots, but instead she took their hands one at a time into both of hers and shook their arms practically off. “Thank you! Bless you! You’ve made me the happiest woman in the world!”
They’d said yes!
She hugged Jethro then sniffed and wiped and blinked and giggled until the tears were gone. “Thank you, sirs. You will never regret this. I will be the best mother ever to those boys.”
Her brother-in-law took her by the shoulders. “Now, you know that the judge has the final say.”
“Yes, sir, of course.” A squeal escaped. “I’m so happy!” Then that one last final step tempered her enthusiasm. “My attorney says he always goes with you gentlemen’s recommendations.”
“Well, so far, but…” The preacher smiled. “I will keep you and our boys in my prayers.”
Marcus caught some of Rebecca’s elation, but more so, a growing nag that the boys would take too much of his love’s attention. While the sisters went on and on, Jethro Risen sidled up next to him.
“A word?”
“Sure.” Marcus glanced at Rebecca—she wouldn’t miss him, that shone clear—then let the man lead him into the adjacent room.
“You have an impressive talent, sir. The murals are breathtaking. We couldn’t be more pleased.”
“Thank you.” He looked through the open door. The sisters still clustered around her.
“Don’t know how long you’re planning on staying, but I’d like to hire you.”
He turned his full attention to the man. “What did you have in mind?”
“Commissioning a family portrait.”
That could take weeks. Marcus shrugged. “My future is uncertain….”
“We have plenty of extra room. Mary Rachel and I were thinking perhaps you would want to accompany Rebecca and the boys to town when the time came.”
“Thank you for the offer.”
“It’s my understanding you aren’t charging us for your work here—other than room and board. But that will not be the case if you’ll agree to do this for us. Mary Rachel has her heart set on it.”
“What if she doesn’t like it?”
“Not a consideration. We’ve seen your work. Would three hundred be adequate? Plus your expenses, of course. And room and board for the duration. How does that sound?”
“Like a lot of money.”
Jethro stuck out his hand. “Deal then?”
Marcus glanced over the man’s shoulder and caught her watching him. Suddenly, he knew what was afoot. She smiled and nodded. He looked back at the man he hoped would soon be his brother-in-law and grasped then shook his hand. “Deal.”
Time couldn’t have played into her hands any better.
The judge agreed to see her within the week, and the paperwork that made her a mother…a real live, bona fide mother…got filed at the county courthouse, making her the happiest woman alive. She and Wallace should have done it years ago.
It saddened her that he never experienced the joy of being a parent.
Not convinced either way about Marcus’ true leanings over being a father again, she sighed. He’d make a good one…if only….
The next morning right after breakfast, Rebecca lifted her carpetbag onto the bed and opened the top dresser drawer.
“What are you doing, Mama?”
“Packing. We’re going to town.”
“Why?”
“Well, you get to meet all your cousins, and I want to visit my sister.”
Michael jumped up on the bed and closed her bag. “No, don’t want to go. Me and Gabe are staying here. We live here. You, too.”
She stared at the boy. What had gotten into him? “But this isn’t our home. We’re going to have our own house in Texas. Would you like a pony?”
Jumping up and down on the feather mattress, he celebrated the idea. “Yes, I want my own pony, and Gabe needs one, too!”
“I promise when we get home to Texas….”
“But…” He plopped down, arms and legs sprawled. “My room is here.”
“Well, you’ll have a new room now at Aunt Mary and Uncle Jethro’s home. You’ll love them and your new cousins, too.”
“No, I won’t.” His bottom lip pouted, his little button nose wrinkled up, then tears streamed down his cheeks.
She scooped up her big boy—so small and defenseless—and hugged him tight. “Michael, my darling, what’s wrong?”
“Why you giving us away, Mama? Don’t you love us no more? I don’t want to be Aunt Mary’s boy.”
“Oh, baby, no! You and Gabriel are mine! Forever and ever. I’ll never give you to anyone. We’re only going to stay there together for a while until Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jasper get married.”
“What’s a cousin?”
She giggled and tickled him. “Other little boys and girls who are a part of your family. Cousins are the children of my brothers and sisters. After we have a long visit, then you and Gabe and I will travel back to Texas.”
“Texkus?”
“That’s a very big, beautiful state where our home is.” She held him tight until he wiggled free, then eased him down.
“And my pony?” He popped out of her lap, stepped back, and stared. Is Texkus where he is, too?”
“Absolutely! We’ll buy you the most handsome, gentle pony in all of the Lone Star State! And you can pick out one for Gabe, too. Because you’re right. He’ll need his own.”
“You promise? Can we have a puppy, too? We could share him.”
“Yes, sir. The ponies are a promise indeed. But you’ll have to feed them and brush their coats. We’ll see about a puppy.” How could she speak of canines and not remember Old Blue? “I got my first dog when I was nine.”
“What was his name?”
“Blue Dog, and he was a wonderful friend. The best pet in the whole wide world.”
“Wow. Can him be my dog now?”
“No, he got very old and passed, but your grandfather—my daddy—has one of his grandpups now named Newer Blue, but they call him Indigo. Maybe we could find one of his babies.” She smiled at her son.
“Promise?”
“Yes, sir.” She stuck out her hand. “Want to shake on it, Michael?”
He nodded and extend
ed both little mitts. “I’ll shake for Gabe. Him a baby.”
Taking both his chubby little hands, she waggled them up and down. What she really wanted to do more than anything was scoop him up and smother him with kisses. But being a boy, he’d suddenly got way too serious for her to go all mushy on him.
What had given him the idea she would ever give him away?
The ride to town proved interesting. Michael took it upon himself to sit between her and Marcus. In the past, she’d seen flashes of jealousy from both, but thought the man had befriended her oldest son.
Would she ever understand the male mind? It was cute that the boy wanted her to himself. She liked that.
Marcus would just have to…ooops…caught that thought before it bloomed. She needed to stop thinking of him as though he would be a part of her and the boys’ lives. Then again, things could change…he could get saved.
Daddy always said, nothing was too hard for God. She studied his profile…so handsome. Her hand went to her chest. Did her heart flutter? Was that a flutter?
Oh please, Lord, have mercy on me.
Unlike at Mercy House, she moved both boys into her room. Michael loved the idea. He also loved his cousins, especially Boaz. Seems the ten-year-old with three big sisters always wanted a little brother.
Now that she had her sons all signed, sealed, and delivered, what more could her heart want? Well, only three doors down the hall…except Marcus…his classification fell into the forbidden fruit category.
If only God would save his soul. And of course, He would, wanted to. He desired that none should perish. But…a man must believe, confess, and repent. Marcus would have to call on the name of the Lord.
Draw him, Father.
The morning of the third day at her sister’s, Rebecca stealthily rose, tucked Michael in tighter, then eased on downstairs. She’d hoped to find Marcus up, but only her brother-in-law sat the kitchen table.
The oriental cook worked on breakfast.
She grabbed a cup then slid in across from him. “Good morning. Is Mary Rachel awake yet?”