But at that moment, I more or less believed that if the level of the Black Cats increased, we would be able to fight in front lines. At that point, I thought that Keita’s ideals may change the closed nature of the clearing groups.
In fact, the Black Cats were improving at what could be said to be an abnormally fast rate. The training area which we were using was a place I used to clear as part of the front lines. I knew all about that place, whether it was the danger spots or the effective spots. I continued to guide them like it was nothing, continued to come up with the most efficient plans, causing the average level of the Black Cats guild to greatly surpass that of the mainstream players. When I joined, we were still ten levels away from the front line, but this gap quickly became five. We continued to gain momentum and coll, and it was even likely that we would soon have enough to buy a guild home.
However, there was one problem. Sachi’s shield swordsman’s transformation couldn’t continue on.
But that couldn’t be helped. When facing against savage monsters at close distance, what’s more important than the value in levels was the courage to endure the fear and fight on until the end. Soon after SAO started, many players died because they panicked and sank into chaos. If I had to really say it, Sachi was really a quiet coward who didn’t look like she could take the role of a forward.
I felt that there was no need for Sachi to change types because I had the status that far exceeded that required to be a shield. However, the other members didn’t feel that way. Or rather, they seemed to be rather apologetic that I had to be the one being the forward, which would be extremely taxing. Even though she didn’t say it because the morale within the group was good, Sachi felt that the pressure was becoming greater.
At one night, Sachi suddenly disappeared from the rest place.
Everyone thought that the reason why they couldn’t identify her location from the guild member list was because she was alone in the dungeon. This made the members under Keita panic, and they immediately went out to look.
However, I was the only one to insist on searching outside the dungeon. The apparent reason was that there were several spots that couldn’t be tracked down. But in fact, I already had the high-level skill ‘Trace’ that could allow me to search for opposing enemies. Of course, I couldn’t explain this to my allies.
As Keita and the rest ran to the dungeon in that level, I went to Sachi’s room, activated the trace function, and followed the light green footsteps that appeared.
The small footprints went in a way everyone, including me, didn’t expect at all. She disappeared at a drain that was somewhat far from the main street. I tilted my head and walked in, and saw that in a corner in the darkness where the water droplets could be here, Sachi was squatting down with a mantle that she just got, one with an invisibility function.
“…Sachi.”
Once I said that, she shook her shoulder length black hair and looked up, muttering in surprise,
“Kirito…how did you know that I was here?”
I hesitated about how to answer it, and finally said.
“Instinct.”
“…I see.”
Sachi smiled and again put her face into the knees she was hugging. I tried my best to think of words, and said something that lacked creativity,
“…Everyone’s worried about you. They even sent people to the dungeon to look for you. Hurry up and go back.”
This time, it became a long silence. After a minute or two, I wanted to say the same thing again, but this time, Sachi’s weak voice came while she lowered her head,
“Hey, Kirito, let’s run away.”
I asked instinctively,
“Run away…from where?”
“From this town, everyone at the Black Cats, monsters…from SAO.”
I wasn’t so familiar with girls—or even humans such that I could answer this immediately. After thinking about it for a long time, I timidly asked,
“Do you…have an intention of committing suicide together?”
After a short silence, Sachi smiled.
“Fufu…yeah, that should be okay…no, sorry. I lied. If I had the courage to commit suicide, I wouldn’t have hid inside the town…don’t stand around. Sit down too.”
I didn’t know what to do, so I sat down slightly beside Sachi on the stone floor. From the semi-circle exit of the drain, I could see the town lights that were as small as the stars.
“…I’m scared of death. Because I’m scared, I practically couldn’t sleep during this time.”
Finally, Sachi muttered.
“Why did such a thing happen? Why couldn’t we leave the game? Why is it that we could die even if it was only a game? What could that Kayaba get by doing this? What’s the meaning in this…”
Actually, I could make an answer to each of the five questions. But even I knew that Sachi wasn’t looking for that sort of answer. I tried my best to think and said,
“Most likely, there’s no meaning…and nobody could benefit from it. The moment the world became like this, everyone lost the most precious thing to them.”
I endured my tears as I told a huge lie to the girl. That’s because I lied to myself to get stronger, and felt the satisfaction of this secret when I entered the Black Cats gang. In that sense, I obviously got my benefit.
At that time, I should have told everything to Sachi. If I had even a teeny-weeny bit of sincerity, I should have revealed my ugly ego out. In that case, Sachi may have some stress taken from her, and she may even feel somewhat relaxed.
However, what I could only say was a lie to steel myself more.
“…You won’t die.”
“Why do you say that?”
“…Even in our current state, the Black Cats are still a strong guild. We have achieved a safe margin too. If you stay in that guild, you can continue to live on safely. Also, you don’t really need to change into a swordsman.”
Sachi lifted her head and showed me a reliant expression. However, I couldn’t look straight into those eyes and lowered my head.
“…Really? I can live on until the end? Back to reality?”
“Ahh…you won’t die. You’ll live until the day when the game is cleared.”
Those were words that weren’t convincing and had no weight in them. Even so, Sachi leaned over to me, brought her face over to my left shoulder and cried for a while.
After a while, I sent a message to Keita and company and brought Sachi back to our hotel. Sachi went back to her room to rest, and I waited at the first level at the bar for Keita and the rest to return. I told them a few things—Sachi needed a much longer time to become a swordsman, and if possible, she should continue to be a lancer. Also, I could continue to be the forward.
Keita and the rest were wondering what happened between Sachi and me, but they happily agreed to my proposal. I heaved a sigh a relief, but this wouldn’t settle the real problem.
From the next night on, Sachi would come over to sleep in my room. She said that if she continued to be with me and hear that she wouldn’t die, she would be able to sleep peacefully. Now I definitely couldn’t sneak out at night to earn experience. Even so, it didn’t mean that my guilt of lying to Sachi and the rest disappeared.
For some reason, that memory was as compressed as a snowball, so I couldn’t remember much. One thing I was certain of though was that Sachi and I didn’t have a romantic relationship. We never slept in the same bed together, never cuddled each other, talk about love or even look at each other.
Our relationship was more likely stray cats that were licking each other’s wounds. Sachi would forget about her fear a bit because of my words, and I would rely on her to forget the guilt that I was a beater.
That’s right—It was because I neglected Sachi’s troubles that I found out this element of the SAO incident for the first time. Before that, I probably never felt the real terror of this SAO that had evolved into a death game. I systematically beat the low-leveled monsters I beat during the beta t
est, continued to level up and maintained in this safety margin. I wasn’t the Paladin Heathcliff, but in my memory, my life had never dropped into the danger zone.
I relied on the vast resources I got easily. Once I knew—that there were many players who were scared of death like this, I finally found a way to remove my guilt. Of course, that method was to continue protecting Sachi and the Black Cats.
For my own satisfaction, I forgot that I hid my level before entering the guild, forgot the memory that I ended up being the one protecting them, grooming them to be a top-notch guild. Every night, I would be at the bedside, comforting Sachi who was curled up in anxiety, saying to her ‘you won’t die, you won’t die, you’ll live on’ like a mantra. After time I say that, Sachi will show a smile somewhat under the blanket, stare at me and enter a light sleep.
However, Sachi still died in the end.
Less than a month after that night in the drain, she was hacked to death by a monster in front of me, and her body and soul were all scattered.
That day, Keita wanted to buy a little house as our guild home, brought the sum of money we finally gained and went to meet with the players who dealt with property. Sachi, I and the other three members were laughing as we were looking at the guild member common items column which had no items as we waited for Keita to return back. But after a while, the mace-user Tetsuo said,
“Let’s head to the dungeon before Keita comes back, arrange the function and scare that guy.”
The five of us entered the dungeon which we never went to before, the one which was just below the 3 levels the frontlines were at. Of course, I fought in that place before, and I knew that it was a place that was easy to earn money but had lots of traps. However, I didn’t tell them that.
In the dungeon, the levels were within the safe area, so our hunting was proceeding smoothly. After an hour, we earned the targeted amount of money, and just when everyone was ready to head back and buy things, the member who was the thief discovered a treasure chest.
At that time, I was vocal about ignoring it. But once I was asked the reason, I couldn’t say that the trap difficulty was up a level from this level on, and I could only stutter and emphasize that it looked dangerous.
The alarm trap sounded loudly, and the monsters swarmed into the room like a tidal wave. Immediately recognizing that the situation was dangerous, I immediately called for everyone to use the emergency escape crystal to get away. However, that place was designated as a place where the crystal would be ineffective—at that time, everyone, including me, ended up in either light or heavy panic.
The first one to die was the thief who activated the alarm. Then, it was mace-user Tetsuo, and the male lancer died behind him.
Panicking, I continued to swing the high-level sword skills I hid and killed waves after waves of monsters. But there were too many, and I didn’t have a chance to destroy the treasure chest that continued to rang.
As Sachi’s HP disappeared completely after being surrounded by the monster mob, she reached her right hand out to me as if she wanted to say something. Those widened eyes still showed the glow that she trusted me, just like every single night, until it was all heartbreaking.
I couldn’t remember how I survived. As I recovered, the mob of monsters and the 4 allies of mine weren’t in that room. But even in that situation, my HP bar dropped to about half.
Unable to think, I blankly returned back to the hotel.
Keita, who placed the brand new guild home key on the table and was waiting for us to come back, listened to me—how the 4 of them died, how I survived, and stared at me without expression. He said something like how beaters like me didn’t have a right to join them.
He ran out of the town in Aincrad, and then jumped over the fence without hesitation as I followed him from behind, into the endless void.
What Keita said was the truth. It couldn’t be debated. It was my arrogance that killed 4 members of the Black Cats of the Full Moon—no, 5. If they never met me, they would have continued to remain in the safe middle zone, and they wouldn’t trigger what was a trap.
To survive in SAO, what we needed wasn’t reflexes or numerical value in levels, but ample information. I increased their levels with high efficiency but didn’t tell them information. That was a tragedy I caused with my own two hands, and I personally killed Sachi who I swore to protect.
Whether she wanted to curse viciously at her final moment, I had to endure it. The reason why I continued to look for that rumored revival item was just to listen to those words.
Part 3
During the four days remaining until Christmas, my level went up once more, to 70.
During this time, I did not sleep at all. This would be the price. Sometimes I get these piercing headaches, as if I was being struck by nails, but I think that even if I were to lie down, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
Since that encounter, Cline’s guild Fuurinkazan has never been to the ant’s valley again. I continued to mix in line with the other guilds, hunting the mechanical ants alone. The expressions of those players who saw my eyes had also finally turned from ridicule to disgust. Although sometimes there are still players that respond to me, as soon as anyone met with my line of sight, the face would immediately turn away from me.
Among of the group of players whose target was the Christmas gift, the biggest question was where exactly was the giant fir tree that «Nicholas the Apostate» would appear under—regarding this question, I took advantage of the wait time in the ant valley, and obtained a very likely answer.
I had gone to the coordinates that I bought from various intelligence businesses, but even though the exteriors appeared to be Christmas trees, they were in fact not fir trees, but pine trees. The needles on pine trees are not the same. The front end of fir leaves has a thin and elongated oval shape. Because in the real world I have these two types of trees in my back yard, I know this.
A few months ago, I was on the thirty-fifth floor’s training area where there was a random transfer dungeon called the “Lost Forest”, and in a particular corner I found a giant curved tree. I thought that there had to be some hidden meaning to the shape, possibly the starting point of some unknown task and so carefully investigated, but nothing was found. In retrospect, that giant tree was a fir tree. On Christmas – that is, tonight, special Mob «Nicholas the Apostate» should appear there under the tree.
I listened to the calling sound that indicated I was now up a level to 70 without any feeling, and after the ant mob around me was dealt with, I took out from my bag a teleport crystal. Without greeting the players currently in line, I went straight to the frontline floor where I was lodging, to the main street area of the forty-ninth floor.
I raised my head to look at the transfer gate plaza’s clock tower, to see that it was three hours away from midnight. Probably because they wanted to spend Christmas Eve together, around the square was full of players in couples. I quickly crossed them to go back to the hotel.
Charging into my hotel room, I immediately opened the storage box installed in the room, taking from the item window that popped up all the restoration, detoxification crystals and potions and the like. Although these alone could count up a hefty balance sheet, I would not pity it even if all of them were used up.
As soon as I took out a single-handed sword from my collection, confirmed its durability, I took off the sword on my back that I used to fight the ants and exchanged it. Then I also exchanged my leather coat and armor and everything else for new items. When I had finished, I was about to close the window when I saw my inventory and stopped my hand.
There, in addition to the «Self» written there, my own inventory page, was another label that read the name «Sachi».
This is the result of a very good relationship between two players, but one which has not progressed to «Marriage» —such players set their own common items window. This is different from the way that all items in marriage are shared in that only items in this separate window
are shared.
Sachi, who had never asked for a confession or to hold hands previously, requested shortly before her death to set up this window. When I asked for the reason, she gave an answer that was difficult to accept, that is was for easily exchanging healing potions and similar items—if this was the purpose, there was clearly already a guild open that could be used for that. But I nonetheless agreed, and set up this window to share only between Sachi and me.
Though Sachi died, this window still remained. Of course, the friend list would also still retain Sachi’s name, but it would be a grey that could not be contacted. And the few remaining healing potions left in the shared inventory, these would also not be used. After half a year, even with the guild page deleted without feeling, I was unable to remove the label of Sachi’s name. Of course—the reason was not that I believed she could be resurrected—I just couldn’t forgive the self that would have been able to feel better after having deleted her name.
I only recovered and closed the window after looking at Sachi’s name for ten minutes. It was two hours until midnight.
As I walked out of the room and towards the direction of the transfer gate, I kept thinking about that expression on Sachi’s face in her final moment, what she was thinking, and, what exactly she wanted to say.
Transferring to the gate on the thirty-fifth floor, I came to a completely different square from that of the frontline, one that was very quiet. Maybe because there was still some distance from here to the main battlefield of intermediate players, the main street area was simply not worth strolling through. But still, I pulled up my coat’s collar to avoid the eyes of several players in the area, quickly leaving the street.
Sword Art Online - Volume 2 - Aincrad (Side Stories) Page 22