by Rose, Renee
“Hello,” Lucy called, letting herself into Dr. Todd’s house.
“Hey there,” he said, poking his head out of the kitchen.
She gave him a kiss and handed him the bottle of Merlot she brought. “I brought some wine.”
“Nice,” he said, opening a drawer and retrieving a wine cork.
He poured them each a glass and took a glass dish with two thick steaks out of the oven. “I’ll put these on the grill.”
She trailed him outside, watching the ease with which he managed everything. She didn’t even know how to light a grill.
“Lucy, I need to talk to you about something,” he said, looking serious.
Her stomach dropped. “What?”
“I have an interview for a faculty position at Iowa State.”
She went completely cold.
“You’re leaving?”
“Well, I didn’t say that. It’s just an interview, and—”
Dizzy, she set her wine glass down on the concrete step, fearing she would drop it. “I can’t believe this,” she said, her chest tightening.
“Well, Ames, Iowa isn’t my first choice, but it might be better than working under Snelling.”
She couldn’t breathe. “You’ve been applying for jobs? And you didn’t tell me?” she asked shrilly.
“I’m telling you now. I didn’t want to say anything until something developed.”
“So now something has developed,” she echoed blankly.
“It’s one opportunity. There may be others.”
She couldn’t believe how cavalier he was about wrecking her life. He had told her he wanted a relationship, all the while applying out of state for new positions.
“You—” she spat, reaching for words. None came. “You suck. I hope you do end up in Ames, Iowa and I hope your department head is even worse than Snelling,” she said. She sounded like a child, but she didn’t care. She was five seconds away from bursting into tears and she didn’t want to do it in front of him.
She raced up the back steps and threw open the door, stomping through his house. Exiting the front door, she ran down the sidewalk, tears blurring her vision.
“Lucy,” he shouted. “Come back here so we can talk!”
“There’s nothing to discuss,” she screamed, unlocking her car door and jumping in. She started it before he reached the car and peeled out, leaving him standing on the sidewalk.
Fuck him. Fuck him and Iowa State University. Fuck them all.
Her phone rang. Sure it was him, she tossed her purse in the back seat, out of reach. She didn’t want to go home, in case he tried to find her there, so she drove to Fourth Avenue and went into one of the bars there to buy herself a drink. Some of the undergraduate students in her class were there, sitting at a table in the corner, and they waved her over and made room for her.
“Lucy Larson, the Sexy Scientist,” Gerry, one of the guys exclaimed, raising his beer. He had obviously had a few already.
“Shut up,” his friend said elbowing him. “I don’t think she appreciates being called that.”
Gerry squinted at her. “Do you know we all call you that?” he asked, slurring.
She looked out the window, too numb to care.
“Hey, you look sad,” Gerry said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Someone tell her a joke. Our T.A. needs some cheering up.”
Tears burned her eyes as she wallowed in self-pity. Cheering up was an impossibility.
She woke up at five in the morning and drove to the lab to do the cell counts and add growth media before anyone else arrived, then drove back home and climbed in bed. She did not ever want to see Dr. Todd again.
He had tried to call her repeatedly, but she did not even listen to the messages, not wanting to hear anything he had to say.
She spent most of the day sleeping or trying to sleep, preferring dreams to any thoughts she had while awake, but at four, she finally dragged herself out of bed and took a shower.
“Are you sick?” Cathy asked when she came out.
“Yeah. Kinda,” she said. She knew she looked terrible because she’d just seen herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face looked like she’d slept on it for the past fourteen hours.
Cathy looked at her with sympathy, which brought her self-pity back in full force. “Dr. Todd is applying for jobs at other universities,” she said. “And he didn’t bother to tell me until last night.”
“Uh oh,” she said. “Well, is he leaving for sure?”
She shrugged. “Nothing is settled.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Her lips twisted bitterly. “What can I do? I’m not going to drop out of the Ph.D. program to follow him. I mean, we’ve been dating less than a month.”
Cathy gave her a puzzled look. “Did he suggest you do that?”
“No,” she said. “He didn’t suggest anything. He never even discussed this with me. I just…” She fought back tears. “I really wish I never got involved with him to begin with. Because this is a no-win situation.”
Cathy nodded. “I’m sorry. It totally sucks.”
She ducked her head and went back to her bedroom to wallow in privacy. Tomorrow she would figure out how to face the world again.
When Lucy did not answer any of his calls or show up to the lab, he biked home to get his car and drove to her house. Her roommate answered the door and invited him in.
“Lucy,” Cathy called.
Lucy’s bedroom door opened and she came out, dressed in faded loose yoga pants and a tank top. She wore a sullen expression and her eyes were swollen and red.
“Hey,” she said.
Her roommate walked to the kitchen, but in the small house would still be in hearing distance.
“Come take a walk with me?”
She looked over her shoulder in her roommate’s direction and nodded. “I’ll get my shoes.”
She returned in flip flops, dragging her heels so the shoes scuffed the brick floor. “Let’s go,” she said, walking toward the door.
They walked side by side in silence until they passed the next house. “Lucy,” he began. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was applying for jobs. I didn’t want to worry you before we even got started.”
She didn’t answer.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he said softly.
She stopped and whirled on him. “Then don’t,” she gritted through clenched teeth.
“Okay, I won’t.”
She glowered, cocking her head.
“I brought it up last night so we could talk about our options. None of them, as far as I’m concerned, involve us going separate ways.”
She scowled and started walking again, looking at the ground.
“I’m not even sure Iowa State is the right place for either of us. It’s just one opportunity. But I’d like us to talk about what would be ideal so we know what to look for.”
Lucy’s anger looked like it had melted into a sulk.
“Wait,” he said, catching her arm and turning her to face him. “Let’s back up to the beginning. Do you want to pursue this relationship?”
A single tear spilled down her cheek. “Yes,” she croaked, sounding exasperated.
“Then why are you running away?”
She flushed, new tears popping in her eyes. “I don’t know—I am upset.”
“Did you want me to follow?”
She stared past him with unfocused eyes for a moment. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Okay,” he said and cupped her chin. “Just so we understand each other—if you run, I will always follow. I will drag you back and chain you to my bed if I need to. You will never get away.”
She giggled through her tears.
He raised his eyebrows. “And then I will punish you for running. Because we already established a rule about this.”
She swallowed and tried to pull away, a mixture of defensiveness and arousal flitting across her face.
“Come on,” he sai
d, taking her hand. “I’m taking you home so we can work this out.”
Her palm felt sweaty in his but she followed docilely, all the fight draining away.
When they reached her house, he said, “Go get your things, you are spending the night. In fact, I expect you to spend every night in my bed from now on. Understand?”
She didn’t answer, but the color in her cheeks showed the effect of his words. She ran up the steps and inside while he waited on the porch.
Fifteen minutes later, she emerged with a backpack. She had changed into a short but loose babydoll dress with cowgirl boots and her hair pulled into two pigtails.
“Wow,” he said, his cock stirring at her transformation. “You look good enough to eat.”
She smiled and let him take her backpack and open the car door for her. “Can we put my bike in your trunk?”
“I have a bike rack,” he said, taking the bicycle when she wheeled it over and lifting it onto the hooks. They settled in the car. “Are you hungry?”
“Um...I don’t know,” she said.
“Let’s try this—have you eaten today?”
She gave a hiccup of laughter. “No, not really.”
“Do you like La Salsa? Fish tacos and such?”
“Never tried it, but I’m game.”
He drove to the little fast food Mexican place and they ordered shrimp tacos and sat down.
“So how do you see this working?” Lucy asked. She was still sulky, but he could tell she wanted to come out of it.
“Well, if you gave up your Teaching Assistant job, you could just come with me, and do your research and write your thesis from a distance. You could fly back for meetings with your committee when necessary.”
“Yeah, right. What do you think the chances of me getting through the PhD program here with Snelling after you jump ship and take me with you?”
He knew she was stressed, but the dominant in him couldn’t let her snippy tone slide. If they were going to be in a relationship, they would need to develop skills for handling life’s stresses as a couple. “Lucy. I’m not the enemy here. This isn’t me against you. It’s us, together, facing the world. We’re working as a team to find a solution we both can live with.”
She rubbed her nose and dropped her eyes but said nothing.
“Yes, sir,” he prompted.
Her mouth twitched. “Yes, sir,” she said, softening and lifting her eyes again.
He picked up her hand and stroked her fingers. “Good girl. Another option is I wait the three or four years until you finish your thesis and then we begin a job search for the both of us.”
She brightened. “Would you do that?”
He lifted his shoulders. “I would consider it. I would have to remove myself from your committee and you wouldn’t be able to work in my lab, anymore.”
“Why not? Oh…” she said, comprehending the ethics involved. Her shoulders slumped. “Probably Snelling would be just as big a jerk in that situation, too. And he’d be getting his name on all your research, which he doesn’t deserve.”
He nodded.
“I could try to transfer to the university where you go.”
“Yes. That means the department would have to be big enough for you to have a thesis committee that I’m not on. At Iowa State I would be their lead faculty in Biochemistry, so it wouldn’t work.”
She sank lower in her chair. “Great.”
“So maybe Iowa State isn’t the best option for us.”
Her eyes lifted at the word us and he saw hope there. “Maybe you’ll get another offer somewhere bigger?”
“Exactly. Is that our best scenario?”
She took a sip of her iced tea and swallowed. “I think so, yes.”
“Then let’s try to make it happen.”
She entered Todd’s house emotionally raw, but happy. His commitment to her and their relationship had her heart fluttering, even though she did not completely trust or believe it. She still felt close to tears, almost losing composure again at the restaurant when he had reprimanded her for biting his head off.
She hadn’t apologized then or at all for her childish behavior and she hadn’t forgotten he had said he would punish her. Part of her still wanted to run and hide. The rest of her wanted to be forever taken in hand by her firm professor.
It seemed she would not have to wait, because he said, “Go into the bedroom and wait for me.”
“Yes, sir,” she murmured and walked to his room her cowgirl boots echoing on his hardwood floor.
She sat on the edge of the bed and took off her boots. She wondered if he wanted her to take off all her clothes? But surely he would have instructed her. She folded her fingers in her lap to wait.
Minutes ticked by. The butterflies in her stomach grew more animated, as she began to wonder what he planned for her. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to think at all. At last he entered. She jumped to her feet.
He carried a wooden spoon and a large hairbrush in his hand. He sat on the bed and pulled her to stand between his knees, his hands on her hips. He looked serious and she worried her lip, wondering what the tone of the punishment would be.
“First of all...are we settled about Iowa? Are you still angry with me? Or have anything left unexpressed?”
She wished her heart didn’t beat so hard at these moments of confrontation. “I don’t want you keeping things from me,” she said. “Especially when they affect me.”
He nodded. “Fair enough. I apologize for not telling you. In the future, I will keep you in the loop right from the start.”
“Thanks,” she said. She knew it was her turn to apologize. Why was it so hard? He made it seem quite easy. She found this standing in front of him to be agonizing. She would prefer him to just turn her over his knee and spank her until she wailed how sorry she was.
When she didn’t speak, he said, “Lucy, you agreed that when you are mad, you will come and talk to me instead of bailing on the relationship.”
“Well, I thought you were bailing on the relationship,” she said defensively.
His eyebrows shot up. “Are you really going to argue with me about this?”
She detected genuine irritation from him and she went cold. “I’m sorry,” she said immediately. She had already discovered there were many flavors of punishment at Todd’s hands, but she did not want to experience one where he was genuinely angry or annoyed with her.
She felt a wave of shame over her behavior. She’d been the typical brat, acting out like a child to get his attention, revelling in it when it came. She realized how lucky she was that he was willing to play her game, because many guys would roll their eyes at the drama and move on.
“Take off your clothes, Lucy,” he said.
His voice still had a hard edge to it, and she scrambled to comply.
“Lay over my lap.”
She bent over his lap and he trapped her legs under one of his. “I am not happy with you,” he said. He struck her with the wooden spoon, spanking her again and again. The surface area was small, but it packed a sting and she wriggled and whimpered over his knee. “I understand you were upset with me. I didn’t handle things right. It’s going to happen in this relationship,” he said, still beating a steady tempo on her squirming ass. “I’m not perfect. I’m not even experienced or good at relationships. And when I upset you, when I piss you off or hurt your feelings, I expect you to tell me about it, so I can make amends.”
“It’s hard,” she wailed.
He paused the spanking and rubbed her burning cheeks with his palm. “What’s hard?”
“It’s hard to tell someone when you’re mad at them.”
He ran a hand up her back to tangle in her hair. “I know it is,” he said. The sternness had gone out of his tone, replaced by warmth. “It will take practice. And sometimes you may find it easier to do from this position.”
She let out a nervous giggle, the idea of confessing her innermost secrets while over his knee more appealing t
han she cared to explore. The sensation of the flat wooden hairbrush circling her hot cheeks made her tense.
“I don’t care how mad you are, you will not run away from this relationship,” he said and began to spank her with the hairbrush. Far more intense than the wooden spoon, the brush made her hold her breath and claw at the comforter on his bed. He struck one side, then the other, laying into her with a vengeance. “If you truly need space from me, you will tell me that with your words,” he said.
“Okaaay,” she wailed, not that she expected him to stop.
“And if you just need me to take charge and spank your feelings out of you, we can work out a code for that, too.”
She tried to use her hands to pull herself forward, off his lap, to no avail. He had her pinned tightly, and showed no intention of stopping the sound spanking he had begun.
“Please,” she cried. “Ow!”
“I am teaching you a lesson, Lucy. You agreed to abide by my rules and when you disobey, you will be punished.”
“I’m sor-ry,” she protested. “I really am! I should have said it sooner.” She spoke quickly, hoping to get the right words out to stop the paddling. “I acted like a child and I deserve the spanking! Just please…”
“Please what?” he asked, never slowing the deliberate tattoo on her throbbing backside.
“I don’t know! It hurts,” she wailed.
“Settle into it, Lucy,” he advised, the gentleness returning to his tone. “I’m not stopping until I’m ready.”
Desperation welled and she lifted her head from the bed and gave a scream through clenched teeth.
He didn’t ease off, as this was punishment and he wanted to bring her to a place of real submission. Her vocalizations were a sign of resistance to the pain, the spanking, his authority. Her walls had gone up and it would take some work to get them down again. He continued to spank her well-reddened bottom, knowing she must be getting close to her limit.