by Liz Schulte
“Thanks.”
The front door swished open and Deputy Connelly came barreling in. His face was white and sweaty. “Here it goes,” I whispered.
“Sheriff Taylor,” he shouted. “Come quick.”
The older man stood up. “Take a deep breath, Connelly. What’s the problem?”
Alarm bells sounded in my head.
“Jeremiah Bowers has been assaulted, and the pawnshop’s been robbed.”
An inky sickness brewed in my stomach.
“They took all the jewelry.”
I jumped to my feet knocking over the chair. Frustration boiled in me like water in an electric tea kettle—quickly and violently.
“All the jewelry?” I yelled.
Ruth looked at me askance, her mouth opened in shock.
“The rings,” I said to her. “Babel’s family heirlooms. Jeremiah was resizing them for me.” I grabbed my purse. “Sheriff, I’m coming with you.” I stared Sheriff Taylor dead in the eye, daring him to argue with me.
He lifted his hands in surrender. “Okay.”
* * *
Jeremiah wasn’t in the shop because he’d been taken to Billy Bob’s clinic. Connelly said that Jeremiah had been listening to his MP3 player and hadn’t heard the perpetrator. He’d been clocked from behind and fell to the floor, unconscious.
I wandered around, begging my psychic ability to kick in and give me some useful information. At one point, I nearly knocked over a shelf full of sewing and quilting supplies, including bolts of muslin and fabric dye. Unfortunately, the pawnshop had too many personal objects, and all those feelings and flashes of images overwhelmed me. My heart broke as I relived the desperation of folks’ parting with items that had sentimental or historical value.
After only a few minutes, I had to leave.
Sheriff Taylor joined me outside and confirmed my worst fear. “I’m sorry, Sunny. They got everything, including your wedding rings.”
I burst into tears.
Chapter Five
7 days until the wedding...
I met Babe for lunch as Sunny’s Outlook, the restaurant Chavvah and I owned together. It was small but cozy and only served vegetarian dishes. We had a great crowd today, and it warmed me to see we were really filling a niche in Peculiar.
Babel greeted me with a smile, and my mood instantly improved. He hadn’t really smiled since the rings had been stolen. “Good news,” he said.
“They found the wedding bands?”
He leaned down and kissed me. “Not that, but I do have a place for our rehearsal dinner.”
“Fantastic!”
“It’s not The Glenn, but there is plenty of room, and the lodge is renting us tables and chairs.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”
“The courthouse.”
“What?”
“The town council has approved the use of the basement auditorium.” He drew me in for a hug. “I know it’s not what you were hoping for.”
“It’s perfect,” I told him. “I’ll brainstorm with Chavvah and Ruth about the decorations and the set up.”
He smiled again, and I could tell it made him happy to solve one of our problems. Occasionally, men needed to solve a problem. Especially when it seemed like everything in their world was out of control.
“I am so pleased,” I told him. I leaned in close and put my hand on his upper thigh. “Tonight, I will show you just how much.”
A satisfying growl rumbled in his chest. “So, everything’s back to...normal?”
“I wouldn’t say normal, but close enough.”
6 days until the wedding...
The morning brought me more good news. The small package I’d ordered on Wonderzin.com awaited me on the porch. Excitedly, I took it inside and opened the box. Inside, the box contained a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and My Beautiful Bella’s Hair Depilatory kit. Usually, the hair on my upper lip was blonde and fine, but since the pregnancy, it had gotten hairier and darker. I needed to do something about the little mustache growing in, but there was no way in hell I was letting wax touch my upper lip.
I patted Baby Trimmel. “You better be worth it, peanut.” I was kidding, but only a little. I’d been in a state of perpetual heartburn since the mystery meat sandwich at Blondina’s, and the extra salt had added to my bloating exponentially.
I sat on the stool in the bathroom. My complexion looked pretty good now that it was completely healed, and my hair, which I’d always thought was a little on the thin side, had a fullness about it that I loved. I’d have to dye it soon, the roots were started to show, but it was a lovely shade of golden blonde, and it really complimented my green eyes.
It startled me to realize I was having a good day. It was the first in a long while that I didn’t feel like an ugly ogre.
“Hmm.” I smiled and unscrewed the lid on the remover. The depilatory smelled like roses and acetone, but not that unpleasant.
The directions said to leave it on for seven minutes, which seemed like a really random timeline. After, I would need to clean the area with a warm, wet washcloth and finish the process with the neutralizer.
The white cream burned on application, which meant it was working. Five minutes into the seven, and I saw blisters starting to form under the thick lotion.
“Oh crap.” I turned on the faucet and began dousing my face with copious amounts of water. My lip started tingling and numbness replaced the burning. I opened the second tube and slathered it on, realizing too late that the company had sent two tubes of depilatory and no neutralizer.
“Noooooo!” The word was muffled under the ever-increasing swell of my lips that now practically touched my nose. “Dis can’t ee appening.”
“Hey, darling,” I heard Babel call from the living room.
I ran to him, tears streaking my cheeks, and cried, “Aaaaah!”
I stopped cold.
He stood there with Great Aunt Erma Jean and Celia Trimmel.
Babel did a double-take. “Oh, dear Lord.”
“Babe, put some ice in a plastic baggie,” said Celia. I could only call her response total mom mode. “Where do you keep your antihistamines?”
While I didn’t find Celia the warmest of people, I was desperate for someone else to be in charge of my life in that very moment. She led me to the couch and helped me sit down. In short order, she handed me the cold compress, water with a straw, and a diphenhydramine tablet.
I sniffled. “Tank Oo.”
Babe sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
Hah.
* * *
An hour later, I was tired as hell, but at least the swelling hadn’t gotten worse and some of the feeling had returned to my upper lip. A quick call to Billy Bob reaffirmed Celia had done the right thing, and unfortunately, his miracle cream couldn’t cure this particular mess.
Celia and Erma Jean sat on the couch and stared at me. Celia looked concerned. The old lady practically vibrated with hostility. She pointed a gnarled finger at me.
“You are not meant to marry,” she said baldly. “Can’t you see the signs?”
Her words hung in the air as silence filled our living room. Babel’s face turned red, almost as red as mine had been days before. “I don’t believe in that nonsense,” he said with matter-of-fact determination.
The problem was, I did believe. I’d grown up with hippy-dippy mysticism crap during my formidable years, and I had an ability that could only be explained as something beyond this world. The fact that Babel was a shapeshifter, which pretty much screamed paranormal, didn’t seem to matter.
“Mom drove Auntie here so she could give the Sheriff a photograph of the rings,” explained Babel disrupting the tension. “They’re going to stay the night with us and return home tomorrow morning.”
“I’m sorry, Sunny,” Celia said. “We should have given you all more notice, but Auntie was really upset about her sister’s wedding bands.”
“They belong to Sunny now,” said Babel.
“Not until you speak the vows,” asserted Erma Jean. She grimaced. “My feet are tired and my back is sore. And I’m hungry.”
Exhaustion poured through me, but my inner hostess still surfaced. “I’ll throw something together for us.”
“No, you won’t,” said Babel firmly. “I’ll order take-out. You stay put and rest.”
He looked at his aunt. “Stop upsetting Sunny. Not another word about signs or canceling the wedding.”
Erma Jean waved him off. “Fine, fine.”
I appreciated Babel’s support and his determination. Yet, what if we were getting signs? What if there was some power beyond us that didn’t want Babe and I to wed? I could happily live with him in sin until we were old as dirt. It had worked for Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
Why wouldn’t it work for us?
Chapter Six
5 days until the wedding...
Finally, it was the night of the rehearsal dinner. The women’s auxiliary along with the high school’s pep club had taken on the task of transforming a dreary basement—which Babel had optimistically called the auditorium—into a room fit for a princess and her Prince Charming. The tablecloths were deep chocolate in color with pale blue runners down the middle. The metal chairs had been camouflaged with navy blue slipcovers. Becky’s Bakery had coordinated with the florist in Lake Ozarks, and the centerpieces were lovely mixes of baby’s breath, silver accents, and velvet cake lollipops in the shape of hearts. Tea lights lit each setting and made it appear as if the tables had been blessed by fairies.
“It’s perfect,” I gasped. “Oh, Babe. I love this so much.”
He pulled me back against his chest, his long arms wrapping around me from behind. “You deserve perfect.” He kissed the edge of my ear, sending tingles through me.
I might be in my thirties, but this man made me feel like a giddy teenager, and every day I fell in love with him all over again. I can’t believe I’d worried about bad omens and ill-fated romance. The wedding rehearsal, with Ruth officiating, had gone off without a hitch, and the rehearsal dinner was turning into something even better than I’d imagined.
For dinner, Blondina had come up with a beef dish, a chicken dish, a vegetarian dish and a special canned meat dish just for me. Disgustingly so, my mouth had been watering for the mystery meat all day. Babe’s parents had arrived early in the day, and other than a few perfunctory but perfectly amiable words, they hadn’t talked to me much.
I saw Jo Jo across the room, his short, brown hair had grown out, and he’d lost the blond streaks that had spotted his scalp when we’d first met. He stood near a handsome man with a square jaw, but with the same blue eyes as Jo Jo. I smiled. It was nice to see Brady out in the community. He’d spent too long in his self-imposed exile. The man who used to be the town drunk had truly turned his life around. Jo Jo waved, and Brady nodded at me. Not too far off from the Cormans was a table full of teenagers. I saw Kyle and Roger, along with two other boys and three very pretty young girls. I saw Jo Jo cast a glance their way, a strange look on his face as he watched them laughing and telling each other animated stories. Was he lonely? My heart ached for him. Between his work at the restaurant and offering emotional support for his dad’s sobriety, Jo Jo had had little time to be a kid.
Eldin Farraday, another deputy sheriff, and Taylor Thompson, one of Ruth’s oldest boys, leaned against the wall near the food warmers. Taylor was a nice man, unlike his twin Tyler, another deputy, who hadn’t been my biggest supporter when I first arrived in Peculiar. Tyler and Babe’s brother Judah had been BFFs for several years, but when you catch your best friend kissing your mom, it had a way of straining a relationship.
Soon, Blondina rang the dinner bell, and the wedding party and our immediate family lined up to be first at the buffet.
I headed straight for the special plate. The compressed fully-nitrated, salty, smoky cube of meat had been glazed to perfection with what smelled like an orange and honey sauce. “Oh my mercy,” I said putting the plate to my nose and inhaling deeply.
“That’s really gross,” Babe said.
I leveled my gaze at him. “Take it up with your progeny.”
He lifted his hands in surrender. “I think I’ll have the roast beef and caramelized carrots.”
I stuck out my tongue. I added steamed broccoli and garlic mash to my plate, then worked my way to the drink station. The choices were sparkling punch, iced tea, coffee, and water. With the amount of gas already bloating my intestines, I avoided the carbonated drinks and settled for a glass of sweet tea.
The glazed ham, which is what I settled on calling it, was mouthwatering. Literally, there was enough salt in the meal to dry out a desert. Baby Trimmel was happy, but I would have to go sodium free for the next couple of days if I wanted to squeeze my fat, swollen feet into my wedding shoes.
I downed the glass of iced tea with a very unladylike thirst and held the cup over Babe’s plate for him to fetch me more. It might have been a trick of the candlelight, but it almost looked like his skin had taken on a greenish cast. He was staring straight ahead, his hands clenched into fists, and his breathing was shallow.
I put my hand on his forearm. “Are you okay?”
He shook his head. Other than the chattering teenagers at the far table, an eerie silence fell over the rehearsal dinner. Ruth Thompson’s husband Ed was the first to break the quiet with what, in my opinion, was some of the loudest retching I’d ever heard.
Ed’s barfing started a chain reaction. People began throwing up on the tables, on the floor, and on each other.
“This isn’t happening,” I whispered. The smell of vomit soured the room. Those standing in line at the buffet put down their plates and bee-lined for the door. Oh, my God. Food poisoning? I sought Blondina out in the crowd. She was backed against the wall, her eyes wide with horror, her face as pale as the full moon.
Then she leaned over and vomited.
Babe’s hand went to his mouth and his cheeks puffed out.
Celia rose to her feet and grabbed me by the elbow. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you should get out of here. We can’t risk you getting sick.”
“I’ll stay with Babel,” said Daniel.
“I’m sorry,” I told my fiancé as Celia propelled me toward the exit. Great Aunt Erma Jean shuffled behind us.
As we headed up the stairs, Roger pushed past me hard enough that I had to grip the railing to keep from falling.
Kyle maneuvered past Erma Jean and Celia. I grabbed his arm, stopping his progress, and the world fell away.
“Jo Jo is under that stupid bitch’s spell,” Karina said.
“Let it go,” Roger told her. “He’s made his choice. If he wants out, he’s out.”
“The only way out of this pack is death,” Kyle said.
Karina’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean that, Kyle.”
Kyle’s piercing gaze made Karina shrink back.
Roger started laughing. Kyle’s expression softened and he started laughing too. “Of course, I don’t mean it. It’s not like I’m a psycho.” His smile widened. “Besides, we have a job to do. We won’t get the last half of the payment if we don’t finish what we started.”
I gasped and sank to my knees on the concrete steps. Kyle yanked his arm away, his expression furious. “Don’t touch me, freak.”
“What did you do?” roared Jo Jo.
Kyle turned and ran up the stairs. He barely made it past the doorway. Jo Jo rushed past us and pounced on his former friend.
I hurried up the rest of the steps as fast as I could, Celia and Erma Jean right behind me.
Jo Jo had Kyle pinned against the wall. My young friend’s face had partially shifted, and I could definitely see his mother’s mountain lion form in the shape of his nose and mouth.
“I didn’t do anything,” Kyle said. “She grabbed me.”
Jo Jo turned his green-eyed gaze on me. “Are you okay, Sunny?”<
br />
“Yes,” I told him, still catching my breath. “I’m fine. Really.”
Kyle pushed Jo Jo in the chest and broke free of Jo Jo’s grip. He scurried away and disappeared.
Brady came up the steps behind us. “Jo Jo, there’s no cell phone reception in the basement. Get outside and call Doc Smith, tell him we might have a widespread case of food poisoning here.”
Jo Jo nodded, his face returning to its human form, and took out his smartphone.
“So much for a perfect day,” I muttered.
“It’s just another sign,” said Erma Jean smugly, “that your marriage is doomed.”
* * *
2 days before the wedding…
“How are you feeling today?” I asked my groom who was lying on the couch with his forearm thrown over his face. He’d stopped throwing up within a few hours of the rehearsal dinner, but his stomach had been a little jacked since the incident.
“Better,” he grumbled.
“Do you think we should postpone the wedding?”
“No.”
“Babe…”
“No,” he said with more emphasis. He sat up and held his hand out to me.
I sighed but took it. I sat beside him, trying to act like a practical adult. I really wanted to hide under the covers with a pint of ice cream. “Blondina’s restaurant has been shut down for possible food mishandling, so we have no one to cater the reception, which isn’t a huge problem, considering we have no place to hold the reception.” The vomit smell hadn’t yet dissipated from the courthouse’s basement. “On top of that, you’re grandma’s rings are still missing. Our wedding is cursed.”
Babe took my hands and brought them to his lips. He kissed my knuckles tenderly, the look in his eyes full of love, and my heart skipped a beat. “You are the only woman in the world for me, Ambrosia Sunshine Haddock. If the whole town of Peculiar burned to the ground today, I would still find a way to marry you on Valentine’s Day. It’s your dream date, and because of that, I’ve made it mine. I will stand you in a field of gophers, have a cow officiate, and we can celebrate with the wind for all I care. You are mine, and I am yours, and two days from now, I will make you my wife. Come hell or high water.”