“It’s okay. Just relax and follow my lead.”
Shane proved to be an excellent dancer, guiding her smoothly in sync with the music. His hand nearly engulfed hers, while his other arm wrapped around her torso, holding her close. She leaned into him, taking pleasure in his clean, masculine scent.
“Dancing is just an excuse to hold you, you know,” he whispered in her ear.
His voice was low and intimate, and she shivered.
The music morphed to a favorite of hers as Sinatra crooned about some lovely lady flying him to the moon. Their pace slowed until finally they were practically standing still, simply holding each other. Shane leaned down and kissed her gently. Then he pulled back and gazed down at her, questioningly.
Beth lost herself in his gaze, in the heat and desire she saw there. This close, she could see tiny flecks of pale gold in his irises. She also saw a hunger that aroused her as much as it unnerved her.
“Will you stay with me tonight, Beth?” he said. His hand came up to cradle one side of her face, his thumb brushing her lower lip. “It’s okay if you’re not ready – ”
She felt like a champagne bubble about to burst. All she knew was that she wanted this. For once in her life, she wanted to let go and experience the heat and the passion that she’d been living without. Before she could chicken out, she took a deep breath and stepped right off the cliff. “I’ll stay. Yes.”
Chapter 15
Beth didn’t remember how she got there, but all of a sudden she was standing in front of a closed door at the end of a long hallway. Shane opened the door, and she walked inside.
She was expecting a bedroom, of course, and a really nice one based on what she’d seen so far of the rest of the apartment, but this wasn’t a bedroom by any stretch of the imagination. It was an entire suite of its own, an apartment within an apartment, with a sleeping area, a living and entertainment area, and a small gourmet kitchen and bar.
It was a masculine space, decorated in warm browns and blues, and as warm and cozy as the main room of the penthouse. On the hardwood floors were a number of large area rugs in browns, blues, and creams positioned about the room.
The ceilings were high in here, too, framed in crown molding with recessed lighting throughout, and the exterior wall was also glass from floor to ceiling, providing a panoramic view of the lake to the left and the city to the right. The nighttime scenery was magical, all flickering lights and towering glass, steel, and stone buildings. Long, heavy chocolate brown drapes hung from rods over the windows that they could be pulled shut to block out the light when needed – surely a necessity for sleeping in.
“Make yourself at home,” Shane said, loosening his tie. “I’m going to lose the tie and jacket.”
Shane disappeared through an open door, which presumably led to a walk-in closet. Beth wandered around the suite and quickly discovered her overnight bag perched on a padded bench at the foot of a massive bed. She grabbed her toiletries from her bag and went in search of the bathroom.
The en-suite bathroom turned out to be just as impressive as the rest of the apartment. The floor was brown travertine marble with flecks of gold. The walls were slate gray stone, and there was a stone hearth at the far side of the room. In addition to the large walk-in shower, there was also a hot tub in the corner that was big enough for half a dozen people. There were two private toilet stalls in the bathroom and a long marble counter with two sinks and full length mirror. Built-in cherry cabinetry provided plenty of storage for linens and toiletries.
“I could live in here,” she said, taking in the spacious and elegant space.
She made quick use of the facilities and brushed her teeth, then went in search of Shane. She found him standing barefoot at the wet bar, dressed in his trousers and shirt. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, and all she could think about was undoing the rest of the buttons to uncover what was underneath.
He turned to her and smiled. “Would you like a drink?”
“I’ve already had two glasses of wine, which is two glasses more than I usually drink. I’d better not.”
“A little bit of whiskey probably wouldn’t hurt,” he said. “It might help you relax.”
“Do you think so?” She’d never had hard liquor before, but if it might help her relax, she was game to try it.
He nodded. “It’s worth a try. Maybe then we could talk.”
Talk? The irony wasn’t lost on Beth. She was trying to get up the nerve to have sex with him, and he wanted to talk. “Talk about what?”
“You said you’d tell me about what happened to you. Maybe we should start there.”
She stepped back. “Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “No.” She walked to the windows and looked out at the inky night sky, feeling suddenly chilled to the bone. She rubbed her bare arms in a futile attempt to warm herself.
Shane came up behind her and placed his hands on her arms, stroking her. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m nervous,” she admitted. And wasn’t that a huge understatement. She knew she should tell him she was in over her head, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She’d just have to muddle through the best she could. “It’s been a while.... And it didn’t go well.”
His warm hands on her bare arms felt so good, she moaned. When she looked up, she saw his reflection in the glass in front of her.
“Beth, you panicked on me last night. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. If you confide in me, I’ll be better prepared.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Sweetheart, you said someone hurt you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if I don’t know what happened – ”
“No!” She moved out of his reach. “If I tell you, then tonight won’t happen.” He was right, but she also knew that if she had to relive that nightmare, she would be a wreck afterwards. Already she was feeling panicked just thinking about it.
“Take your pick!” she said, fear and frustration taking over. “Sex or my traumatic life story, but you can’t have both. I can’t handle both in one night.”
Shane rubbed a hand over his face, clearly struggling with competing desires. He sighed. “Beth.”
He had a way of speaking that grounded her, both commanding and comforting at the same time. When he said her name like that, in that steadying tone, her mounting anxiety simply deflated.
“Please, not tonight,” she said, her voice no more than a whisper. “I don’t want to talk about it. I promise I will, soon, just not tonight. I want tonight to happen.”
“It will happen,” he said, coming toward her. He took her in his arms. “I just don’t want to make any mistakes, Beth.”
She looked up into his face. “On second thought, I will have that drink.”
He looked at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to say no.
“All right,” he finally said. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “But if I fuck this up, just remember who made the ultimatum here. It wasn’t me.”
“If anyone messes up tonight, it won’t be you,” she said.
He tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear. “I promised I wouldn’t let you run, remember?” He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then took her hand and led her to the living area. “Come.”
“Have a seat,” he said, and she sat down on a soft leather sofa that stood facing yet another wood-burning stone hearth.
Shane walked to the wet bar and pulled two tumblers from an overhead cupboard, along with a bottle of amber-colored liquor. Beth watched as he poured a scant half-inch of the liquor into one glass and a more generous amount into the other. Then he opened a bottle of water and added a dash of water into each glass.
“Have you ever had whiskey?” he asked, picking up both glasses and gently swirling them.
“No.”
He sat on the coffee table facing Beth and handed her the glass with the smaller amount of liquor in it.
After peering into the glass, she sniffed
it and made a face.
“Sip it slowly,” he cautioned her.
She took a hesitant sip of her drink and immediately began a violent coughing fit. “You drink this on purpose?” she said, gasping as the liquor burned the back of her throat on its way down.
Shane laughed. “Yes.” He took a sip of his drink. “I guess it’s an acquired taste.”
Beth took another sip, and this one burned just as badly. She swallowed with a scowl. “I don’t think I’ve acquired it.” She coughed again. “My throat’s on fire.”
He smiled at her. “You don’t have to finish it, sweetheart,” he said, reaching for her glass.
“No, I’ll finish it,” she said, looking dubiously at her glass. “I think I’ll need it.”
Shane set his glass down on the coffee table and stood. “Hold on.” He retrieved a small bottle of Coke from the fridge and brought it and the bottle of whiskey back.
“See if this helps,” he said, filling her small glass with Coke. Then he poured himself a second shot of whiskey, neat, and set the bottle on the coffee table.
Beth took a sip of her whiskey and Coke. “That’s much better,” she said, relieved. She could still taste a hint of the whiskey, but it was greatly mellowed out by the sweetness of the soft drink. It didn’t burn nearly as badly when it went down.
Shane chuckled, shaking his head. “I just mixed a 21-year-old Scotch whiskey with a soft drink.”
She froze. “Is that bad?”
He savored a sip of his two-grand a bottle whiskey and swallowed. “No, sweetheart,” he said, smiling at her. “It’s fine.”
Beth returned his smile, feeling like her heart was being squeezed in her chest. He amazed her with his gentleness and patience. She hadn’t known him very long, and already she trusted him more than she’d ever trusted anyone outside her family and Gabrielle. God, she wanted this to happen.
“Don’t let me run,” she said quietly.
Shane’s gaze darkened as he knocked back the rest of his whiskey. “I won’t,” he said in a gruff voice, wincing at the burn.
She laughed. “I thought you said to sip it.”
“I’m way past sipping now.”
Shane set his empty glass on the coffee table and leaned forward, cupping the back of Beth’s head with his broad palm. He pulled her forward, and they met halfway. When his mouth came down on hers, it was hot and urgent. Their tongues clashed, and she tasted the sweetness of the Coke, the pungency of the whiskey, and Shane. His mouth devoured hers hungrily. She thought she must be feeling the effects of the whiskey now because her belly warmed, and she began to tingle all over.
“Lights fifty percent,” he said, and the room dimmed, leaving them in a cozy, twilight setting. He looked at her. “You said earlier that your previous attempts at intimacy didn’t go well.”
She nodded. Oh, crap. Her body was loosening up nicely and starting to buzz, and he wanted to talk?
“Tell me what happened,” he said.
She attempted to pull back, wanting to put some distance between them, but he held her fast with a hand at her back of her head.
“I need you to tell me, Beth,” he said, looking her directly in the eye. “Why didn’t they go well? What went wrong?”
Mortified, she felt her face burn. She so didn’t want to talk about this right now. It might ruin any chance she had of getting through this night.
“Beth, please,” he said. “If you want this to turn out differently, you have to talk to me. I sure as hell don’t want to make the same mistakes someone else made.”
“I know,” she said, frustrated. “It’s just hard to talk about.”
He watched her expectantly, waiting for an answer. Beth figured they would be here all night if she didn’t tell him what he wanted to know.
“Can I have more whiskey?” She figured a little more of that fire warming her belly wouldn’t hurt.
He didn’t look overly happy at the idea, but he acquiesced. “Just a little bit.” He poured another half-inch of whiskey into her glass and added a generous amount of Coke.
She peered into her glass. “That wasn’t very much whiskey.”
“It’s enough,” he said. “The goal is to help you relax, not get you drunk.”
Copying him, she knocked back her drink in one swallow. Her eyes burned from the combination of the whiskey and the carbonation of the soft drink.
“Jesus, Beth!” Shane took the glass from her and set it next to his on the coffee table.
They both started laughing.
He couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips clinging to hers. “Is the whiskey helping?”
“I think so,” she said, losing herself in his beautiful eyes. “I can’t feel my toes anymore.”
Chapter 16
Shane moved to the sofa and hauled Beth onto his lap and turned her so that she was sitting sideways. He removed her sandals and tucked her bare feet up on the sofa cushions. “Now, talk to me.”
When she didn’t say anything, he made a frustrated noise that sounded an awful lot like a growl to her.
“You’d better start talking, Beth, unless you’re ready to experience your first spanking.”
She knew from the tone of his voice that he was just kidding about the spanking. Still, the idea of lying bare-bottom across his lap made her tingle from head to toe – and that had nothing to do with the whiskey. For a moment, she thought about simply calling his bluff and taking him up on his offer.
She could tell from his resolute expression that he wasn’t going to let her distract him, so she took a deep breath and let the words pour out of her. “I panic when I’m pinned down.”
His entire body tensed, but his voice was calm when he said, “Go on.”
“I can’t bear to be pinned down or restrained. When I tried to have sex before, and... he was on top...” She shuddered. It was such a painful memory, and she’d been so humiliated.
“Jesus, sweetheart,” he said, his lips in her hair. One of his hands came up and rubbed her back, while his other arm settled around her waist. After a long pause, he said, “Have you ever tried being on top?”
“No.”
“Would you be willing to try that?”
She chuckled nervously. “I’ll try anything.”
“Okay. What about the lights? Tell me about the lights.”
“I’m afraid of the dark,” she admitted, feeling ridiculous. Apparently the whiskey was loosening her tongue as well as warming her belly. Good grief! What 24-year-old is afraid of the dark?
But she figured she might as well lay it all out there, expose all of her dirty little secrets now and get it over with. He’d find it all out eventually, if he hung in there long enough.
“Can you tell me why?”
His voice was so gentle, so non-judgmental, it made her want to cry. She could feel panic beginning to circle around her, like a vulture searching for easy prey, ready to swoop in and consume her at its first opportunity.
“I don’t want to talk anymore, Shane.” Her voice was small and tinged with defeat. She was trying so desperately to hold back the tears and tamp down the fear.
He was silent for a long moment. “All right. It’s enough for now.”
Shane helped Beth to her feet and led her by the hand to the bed. “Sit,” he said.
The bed was clearly the focal piece of the room. It had a dark chocolate brown upholstered headboard and a pair of mahogany nightstands, one on each side of the bed, each holding a lamp. Like the rest of the room, the bed was decorated in neutrals. The sheets were cream, and the pillows echoed the dark brown theme. A padded bench stood at the foot of the bed. Beneath the bed was a large plush rug in the same shade of dark chocolate. The wall behind the bed had been made from vintage red bricks, which added to the industrial-chic feel of the decor.
Beth climbed up on the high bed and sat watching Shane warily. He seemed hesitant all of a sudden, and she was afraid he was going to change his mind about sex.
Or worse yet, he might decide she was simply too much effort. She knew without a doubt that he never had to work this hard to get laid.
The fear that he was on the verge of changing his mind gave her the motivation to move. She slipped off the bed and walked toward him. “I want to do this, Shane.”
When he didn’t make a move toward her, she reached for the placket of his shirt and started unbuttoning it from the top down. Shane stood passively, watching her nimble fingers release each button. He did nothing to help her, and yet he didn’t stop her either. Once she had the shirt unbuttoned, she pushed it off his broad shoulders and watched it slip to the rug at their feet.
As her eyes swept over his chest, her breath hitched in her throat and she swallowed. His chest was ... beautiful. All sculpted muscles and hard planes, covered with a light dusting of brown hair that converged into a happy trail that disappeared beneath the waistband of his trousers. There were numerous faded scars on his chest, long and jagged, undoubtedly souvenirs from his time in the military, but they only added to his attractiveness.
She reached for his belt, and when he did nothing to stop her, she unbuckled it and pulled it from his trousers, letting it drop to the rug with a dull thud.
His lips twitched, and he raised an eyebrow at her as if to say Okay, now what? That little bit of encouragement was all she needed to reach for the button on his trousers. Damn, she should have insisted on having more whiskey; this probably would’ve been a lot easier. As it was, she couldn’t believe this beautiful man was standing before her, letting her undress him.
After unbuttoning his trousers, she pulled his zipper down gingerly, careful of the impressive erection pressing against his trousers. Shane let his trousers drop to the floor, too, leaving him standing there in his black boxers. A magnificent erection tented the silky material.
“You’ve come this far,” he said, his voice like gravel. “For God’s sake, don’t stop now.”
Beth felt her face go up in flames, but she wasn’t about to stop. She was pretty sure he was testing her, to make sure this was really something she wanted. Surprisingly, she found that she liked the feeling of control. Shane was letting her call the shots, and she liked it.
Vulnerable: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 1) Page 14