Shank's Mare

  'What for?' said Kita. 'It wouldn't matter to him if her eyes were crooked and her nose gone. He'd have her all the same.'

  'She's in the next room with her head clerk,' said Kawashiro. 'I'll just go and inquire.'

  Kawashiro jumped up with great readiness and went into the next room.

  'I'm going through with this, Kita,' said Yaji after the landlord had gone.

  'How brave you are! ' said Kita. 'Fancy you becoming a man-mistress with that face. Have you ever looked at yourself in the glass?'

  'Nonsense!' said Yaji. 'It doesn't matter about a man's looks. I'm better looking than you anyhow.'

  'Better looking, indeed!' said Kita. 'What do you say, Saheiji? If you were a woman which would you fall in love with, Yaji or me?'

  'I'd rather not fall in love with either of you,' said Saheiji, laughing. 'But when a person's in love they always think they're better looking than other people.'

  'We'll call it equal for looks, then,' said Kita,'but I think I ought to get her as I am the younger.'

  'You must give way to your seniors,' said Yaji.

  'I'll tell you what,' said Saheiji. 'You'd better draw lots. I'll hold the spills and whoever draws the long one shall have her.'

  'All right,' said Kita. 'Oh, great god of Sumiyoshi,' he prayed,'grant unto me that I may draw the long one.'

  'There,' said Saheiji. 'Now draw.'

  'I've got the long one,' cried Yaji. 'I've won.'

  In the midst of Yaji's rejoicing Kawashiro came back. ' It's all right,'he said. 'I've just been consulting with her head clerk. She'll make you an allowance of as much as you like and pay for all the burdock and eggs you can eat, besides providing you with silk clothes all the year round. But you'll have to take Sanzo and Koshiyoshi pills.'

  'In Edo, at the Santōkyōden,' said Yaji,'they have some pills called Tokushō, and without joking they give you enormous energy. I'll get some of those and take them.'

  'That's a good idea,' said Kawashiro. 'By the way, she's coming here.'

  'What, here?' cried Yaji. 'Now? How awful! In my present condition too. I say, Saheiji, is there a hairdresser in the neighbourhood?'

  'Get out,' said Kita. 'You can't make a crow white even if you wash it for a year, and you can't alter a man's disposition, either. You can't follow a trade with your eyes shut, so to speak. If she sees you she's bound to call it off.'

  'There's a fine-looking woman coming out of that room over there,' said Saheiji.

  'That's her, that's her,' said Kawashiro. 'She's probably coming here.'

  'How awful,' said Yaji, and he hurriedly arranged his collar and put on a solemn look.

  The widow was a fine-looking woman, with a skin as white as snow and an attractive manner. She was accompanied by her head clerk. Kawashiro rose to greet her.

  'This is a pleasure,' he said. 'Please come in.'

  'Excuse me,' said the widow, and she tittered as she entered.

  'Good day to all,' said the head clerk. 'They're all ladies in the other room and I had nobody to drink with. Luckily Kawashiro came in and invited us to join you.'

  'Sit down, sit down,' said Kawashiro. 'Excuse my boldness, but let me press you to have a cup of saké.'

  He handed a sake cup to the widow, who took it with a smile.

  'I've already drunk too much,' she said,'so I'll only take a drop.'

  She drank a little and then held out the cup to Kawashiro.

  'Won't you drink with me in return?' she asked.

  'I've been drinking a lot already,' said Kawashiro. 'Won't you offer it to somebody else?'

  'Then if you don't mind,' said the widow, and she held out the cup to Yaji.

  Yaji, who had been sitting as one in a dream, lost in contemplation of the widow's beauty, woke to life with a start on finding himself thus addressed.

  'Yes, yes,' he said, all in a flurry, and he seized hold of what he thought was a saké cup.

  'Here, what are you doing?' said Saheiji. 'That's not a sake cup you're holding. It's the tobacco-box.'

  'Ah, so it is,' said Yaji. 'Ten thousand excuses. Kita, pour for me.'

  'It's none of my business,' said Kita sulkily. 'Pour for yourself.'

  'What an unmannerly chap he is!' said Yaji.

  The waitress filled his cup and he tossed it off. Then he offered the cup to the head clerk.

  'No, no,' said the head clerk. 'You're an expert at drinking I can see. Have another on top of it.'

  'Well,' said Yaji,'usually when I drink saké I get whiter and whiter till I'm as white as silk. But to-day, somehow, it's made me go all red.'

  'Allow me to offer a drink to your companion,' said the widow.

  'Yes, yes,' said Yaji. 'Here, Kitahachi, the lady wants to offer you a drink.'

  'Mind your own business,' said Kita.

  'Ha-ha-ha! ' laughed Yaji. 'Let me offer you one instead,' he said to the widow.

  The widow took the cup with a smirk and drank.

  'Dear me,' said Kawashiro. 'You two passing the sake cup to each other makes it look just like a wedding.'

  'He-he-he!' tittered the widow. 'How funny!'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji in turn.

  'Don't laugh so loud,' said Kita. ' You're laughing right into the food.'

  'Never mind,' said Yaji. 'You be quiet. I can never do anything to please this chap,' he went on. 'If I just sing a bit of a song to the guitar and get all the girls praising me and saying how clever I am, he gets so jealous I don't know what to do.'

  'Dear me,'said the widow. 'What a funny gentleman you are really.'

  At this Yaji's heart bounded in his bosom, for he thought he had captured her and that all his bad luck had vanished. Then the widow's maid came in.

  'Excuse me for interrupting you,' she said,'but I thought you would like to know that Master Arakichi has come and is waiting for you in the other room.'

  'Has Arakichi come?' cried the widow. 'Thank you, thank you. Excuse me everybody. Good-bye,' and she bowed hastily to them and hurried off, followed by her head clerk.

  Yaji was overwhelmed with astonishment. 'What's the matter?' he asked. 'Who's this Arakichi?'

  'That's Saburo Arakichi,' said Kawashiro. 'He's all the craze, —young and good-looking,—the leading actor in Ōsaka.'

  'Ah, that's why she rushed off in such a hurry,' said Yaji. 'Looks to me as if she was in love with him.'

  'It does look that way,' admitted Kawashiro.

  'Well, you mustn't let your courage go down, Yaji,' said Saheiji.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'What a joke! I say Yaji, when we were coming along I saw a barber's shop just near here. You'd better go and get your head shaved.'

  'You're always envious,' grumbled Yaji.

  While Yaji was grumbling to himself the head clerk came back.

  'You see what anxiety she gives me, Master Kawashiro,' he said. 'She's got a passion for that Arakichi and they's going off somewhere by boat together. I've got to walk. I always get the worst of it. So all our talk comes to nothing. Well, I must leave you now. Excuse me everybody.'

  He hurried off into the garden, where they saw the widow starting off with Arakichi and a maid, talking and laughing and looking very delighted.

  'That chap Arakichi is a fine-looking fellow,' said Saheiji.

  'What's there fine-looking about him?' said Yaji. 'Look at his sickly look. Seems as if he'd never been out in the sun.'

  'You may say what you like,' said the waitress,'but if he isn't a fine-looking man I never saw one. Why, there isn't a woman in Ōsaka that isn't in love with him.'

  'Look there, Yaji,' said Kita. 'She's whispering something in his ear and pointing over here and laughing. She's probably talking about you.'

  'Botheration!' said Yaji. 'Well, Master Kawashiro, it's very regrettable, very.'

  Meanwhile the widow went away talking and laughing without paying the least attention to any of them, and this made Yaji feel so unhappy that he spoke of going back to the inn.

  'I've got a good i
dea,' said Kawashiro. 'I've got a boat waiting. Let's go in it and interrupt their love making.'

  'That's a good idea,' said Yaji. ' Come on. Let's go.'

  'Wait a bit,' said Saheiji. 'It's beginning to rain.'

  'It doesn't matter if it rains cats and dogs,' said Yaji. 'Come along.'

  He jumped up and was going out, when ail at once there was a tremendous peal of thunder right over his head,—goro-goro-goro.

  'It's useless, it's useless,'they all cried, and Yaji ran back, almost stunned by the noise.

  Now the rain began to come down in torrents, the lightning flashed and the thunder roared, and the people rushed about the house, pulling out the shutters to keep out the rain. All the women in the house came into the room, frightened out of their wits.

  'That's finished you off,' said Kita. 'Wouldn't you like to be Arakichi now? They're in the boat, both wet through, and the widow's telling him how frightened she is and clinging to him.'

  'Yes,' said Kawashiro. 'She was in love with him before, but after this storm she'll never let him go.'

  'That's so,' said Kita. 'She'll never be able to say no, eh, Yaji?'

  'Don't talk to me,' said Yaji. 'I'm praying.'

  'There's another flash,' said Saheiji, and the thunder went goro-goro-goro-goro.

  'Oh, I'm so frightened,' said Kita, and he threw himself into Yaji's arms pretending that he was the widow. Yaji went flying.

  'Oh, oh, oh! ' he groaned. ' What did you want to do that for? Oh, oh, oh!'

  'Where does it hurt?' asked Kita.

  'It's the devil's nose in the wrapper,' said Yaji. 'Oh, it does hurt.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'That's it, is it?'

  'The rain's beginning to stop,' said Saheiji. 'Shall we go in the boat now?'

  'Come on,' said Yaji. 'Come on quickly.'

  He jumped up impatiently, but just as he got to the door there was a great flash of lightning and such a rattle of thunder over his head—goro-goro-goro-goro—that he fell down with a shriek.

  'Oh, oh! ' he groaned, his face wrinkled in pain.

  'What have you done now?' asked Saheiji.

  'What have I done now!' said Yaji. 'I've broken it. I've broken it.'

  'What have you broken?' asked Kita.

  'When it went pss-bang just now,' said Yaji,'I got such an alarm that I slipped and fell on the bridge of the devil's nose. Oh! it does hurt.'

  He kept hold of the devil's nose as he spoke whereupon they all burst into laughter.

  In a little time the rain stopped, the thunder got further and further away and the sky began to clear.

  'Come, it's getting fine now,' said Kawashiro. 'Let's have another cup before we go.'

  So some more sake was brought in and they each drank their fill to the accompaniment of many jests and much laughter.

  Afterwards Kawashiro took Yajirobei and Kitahachi back to his inn and there they stayed a long time till they had seen all the sights of the city. Then, both of them being stout-hearted Edo folk, able to bear all kinds of hardships and pass them off with a jest, they determined to set forth on their travels again. The landlord, impressed by their courage, presented them with new clothes and money for their travelling expenses, and thus they started off in search of new adventures.

  APPENDIX

  IKKU'S "AFTERTHOUGHT" INTRODUCTION

  [This so-called introduction to 'Hizakurigé' was written as an afterthought when the travels of the two heroes had been completed, and the details given in it are inconsistent in some particulars with those given in the travels themselves. Although in modern Japanese editions of 'Hizakurigé ' it is used as an introduction to the work, it has been thought best in this translation to add it as an appendix.]

  N the plain of Musashi, says the poem, the flowering grasses melt into the white clouds on the horizon. That was long long ago, when they used to delight in the swift flight of snipe in the twilight from the marshes behind the reed huts. But then, of course, they didn't know what the pleasure-quarter looks like when it is lit up in the evening.

  Nowadays the water that flows along the conduits into the wells is full of trout, and there are rows and rows of white-washed store-houses, and the pickle-tubs, empty sacks and broken umbrellas are so many that the landlords want to charge rent for the ground they take. Edo, in fact, is so prosperous that the country people think the streets must be paved with silver and gold, and they come up in their countless thousands and tens of thousands to pick it up.

  Among those who thus came to Edo was Yajirobei Tochimenya, who hailed from Fuchu in the province of Sunshū. He had been left fairly well off by his father,—able to lay his hands on a couple of hundred gold pieces at any time without any trouble; but he fell into such dissipated ways and, moreover, was so wrapped up in a boy called Hananosuké, the apprentice of Tarashirō Hanamizu, a strolling player, that, keeping to this path as strictly as though it were the path of filial duty, and as happy as a man who has dug up a pot of gold, by means of all sorts of foolish pranks he managed to make a tremendous hole in his property, and was finally compelled to hoist sail and fly with the boy from the town of Fuchū.

  When your debts pile up to Fuji's height

  That is the time to fly by night.

  Thus spitting out their silly jokes they went up to Edo and took a small house in Hatchō-bōri, Kanda. The small amount of money that Yajirobei had left was soon spent in eating the good things of Edo, and in drinking sake, the empty barrels of which in his kitchen were enough to supply all the wash-tubs needed for a tenement house. At last, when they had drunk up all their money, they decided that they would have to change their course of life. So Hananosuké coming of age, his name was changed to Kitahachi, and he was apprenticed at a respectable shop, where, being by nature a smart lad, he soon won the good will of his master and was entrusted with the handling of the petty cash. As for Yajirobei, he got some small jobs of painting, a trade which he had learnt in the country, and was thus able to make enough to buy rice and natto and shell-fish from the street-hawkers when they came round, which he did without even taking the trouble to move from his seat. But he never had a spare penny to bless himself with, and his wadded garment, which he had worn continuously ever since he came up from the country, was torn at the sleeves and the wadding all coming out. As for washing his clothes, it was never done because he had no one to do it for him.

  Seeing his way of life one of his friends in the neighbourhood —one who had helped him to spend his money—proposed that he should marry a woman, somewhat older than himself, who had worked as a servant in the friend's house for a number of years, so that the cracked pot might have a new lid to keep it together, and the rents in his clothes, gaping like the mouths of wolves, should be sewn up. In fact that he should have someone to look after him.

  With a hard-working woman to take care of him and see that he went to bed early, Yajirobei passed his life in contentment, twenty years slipping away before he was aware of it. But as mountain potatoes, however long they grow, will never become eels, so Yajirobei remained poor. This did not trouble him, however. He still cracked his empty jokes, and his house was the haunt of all the lazy fellows in the neighbourhood, who kept the kitchen filled with empty sake bottles and made it impossible to take the lid off the bean-paste for fear it should go sour with their discordant thrumming on the samisen.

  One day, when Yajirobei was absent and Futsu, his wife, was engaged in the kitchen in making preparations for the morrow, Chōma, the woman who lived in the house at the back of the alley, peeped out of her backdoor.

  'Excuse me, Mrs. Futsu,' she said,'but I should be glad if you could lend me a little sauce. Oh dear! Oh dear! How we did keep it up last night! There's my old sot of a husband, he hasn't come home yet. The other night, when he came home late, the landlord's wife complained that he knocked at the gate at the head of the alley as if he was going to break it. But there, she's always exaggerating and scolding about something. She ain't got any right to call him stupid eve
n if he is. She's too bad, really, ain't she? What if the rent ain't paid for a year or two? It ain't as if we didn't mean to pay it some time. When it comes to that if she's so strict why don't she mend the gutter where it's all gone rotten? Making us clean up the dogs' dirt, too, in front of our houses. What does she think we are, eh, Mrs. Kun?'

  The woman whom she thus drew into the conversation was suckling a baby in the house opposite. She now came down to the gate.

  'Don't speak so loud,' she said. 'Kentsu's doing a little job for herself in the yard and you know what a chatterbox she is and how she likes to toady up to the landlord's wife by telling her all the bad things we say about her. Look here, what do you think I heard? You know that girl that came to that house the other day, that they said was the wife's younger sister. Well, she didn't go out to service as they said. I found out all about it. It was an awful surprise to me. The day before yesterday she went to a mansion in Shitaya all dressed up to see if she'd suit an old man who wants a young mistress. They say he paid seven ryō as advance money. Fancy a girl with a face like that going out as a mistress. What impudence! If I wasn't so bald and the wen by my ear was a little smaller I'd go out as somebody's mistress myself and make some money. He-he-he! Hasn't your husband come home yet, Mrs. Futsu? Dear me! Whisper about someone and you see his shadow. There he is, just come back.'

  At the sight of Yajirobei all the women went into their houses.

  'That brute of a woman doesn't care if I sleep on the doorstep,' said Yaji. 'Here, Futsu, is the tea made?'

  'Dear, dear! ' said Futsu. 'You do nothing but drink. I suppose you haven't had anything to eat yet?'

  'Of course not,' replied Yaji. ' I was too busy at the grog shop to go to the prog shop.'

  'Well, Kitahachi's been sending someone here to ask for you ever so many times.'

  'He wants me to lend him some money.'

  'Lend him some money?' cried Futsu. 'What nonsense! What's it about?'

  'That fellow's got himself into a mess by taking some of his master's money,' said Yaji. 'Of course he'll be dismissed if it's found out, but it would be very hard on him if he were dismissed just now. The head clerk got an attack of colic in the head the other day and his head got so hard that he died. Then the master, like all these old fools, he must go and take a young wife, and she's worn him out. He won't last more than a day or two, that's certain. So all Kitahachi's got to do is to stop where he is and take the widow. It'll be like digging up a pot of gold for him, and it won't be so bad for me either. But what we've got to do is to keep him from being dismissed. Well, let's have something to eat. What have you got?'