by Delisa Lynn
Until Then
Copyright © 2016 by Delisa Lynn
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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www.authordelisalynn.com
Table of Contents
title page
copyright
dedication
chapter one
chapter two
chapter three
chapter four
chapter five
chapter six
chapter seven
chapter eight
chapter nine
chapter ten
chapter eleven
chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
chapter fourteen
chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen
chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen
chapter nineteen
chapter twenty
chapter twenty-one
chapter twenty-two
chapter twenty-three
epilogue
acknowledgements
other books
playlist
about the author
Anna, thank you so much for not being only a wonderful friend but for always being a message/text away. The last year has been rough, and you’ve been an amazing friend you’ve talked me through finishing this book as well as others. You’ve listened to my rants, and helped with all my research. Our daily chats, brainstorming and sprints, got this book finished.
This one is for you. I love you hard, lady.
There’s a saying that everything can change in the blink of an eye. I always thought, “Oh, nothing like that can happen to me…to us.” But that statement has never been truer than it is right now. My life was perfect…until two months before my wedding day.
As little girls, we dream of the perfect wedding. Wearing huge white sparkly dresses, making memories with our husbands to share with our children. I was one of those little girls, and I’d known for the last ten years that I wanted to marry Lucas. I’d been planning our wedding in my head for years. I had practiced writing my name as Rosealy Lowe for months. My designer white and silver wedding dress, which I flew to New York City and had custom made, was paid for. I’d paid the deposits on the chapel and the reception hall. Invitations had been mailed, and our honeymoon to Cancun had been booked.
My life was all set, and I was going to marry the man of my dreams. The man I wanted to father my children, the man who stole my heart when I didn’t even know what love was. The man I loved with all that I am, the man who was my best friend all through high school. The one I attended prom with all four years. The one I went to football games with, the one that was my best friend. The one I made love to my first time. The one I told all my secrets to, shared my fries with when we went out. The one I gave my heart to…only for him to stomp on it like it was a fucking spider.
Lucas was in an ATV accident a few months back. As a matter of fact, it was four months, twenty-one days and three hours. He doesn’t have any memory of me, or us. Nothing. He woke and asked who I was and why I was crying.
That wasn’t my Lucas in that hospital bed. My Lucas adored me. He loved me so much.
Until the accident claimed his memory.
Today, I’m leaving the place I call home. I can’t stay here. After he had been released from the hospital, his parents hired an in-home nurse. Whom he started dating. His parents hated me anyways; they never thought I was good enough for their baby boy. They thought I was trash because my daddy wasn’t part of the country club they belong to, because our house wasn’t as fancy as theirs. They didn’t want someone like me, who came from a broken home, to be with their baby.
Their only son.
My dad isn’t happy that I’m moving over two hundred miles from the only home I’ve ever known. I’m leaving my family and my friends, but I need this. I need to move on. Lucas has told me more than once in the last week that we will never have anything. That I’m not a part of his life, and never will be. His words still cut through me.
“You need to move on. Just forget about whatever you thought we had.”
So that’s exactly what I’m doing. I quit my job, bought a house a few hours from my grandparents in Ohio. I’ll start my life there, and do exactly what Lucas said. I’ll try to forget about him and our life, the life he doesn’t remember existed. The life I thought I was destined for, until now.
Loading up my small car, I pack as much as I can in it, leaving behind everything Lucas and I shared in our small condo. The one we just purchased last year. I guess it’s his problem now, seeing how it’s in his name.
Today, I’m saying good-bye to Michigan and everyone I’ve ever loved. They say that starting over is one of the hardest things I’ll endure, but hearing the love of my life tell me he doesn’t remember me and that he will never love me the way I love him has broken me.
I say my goodbye to my friends, and then finally my dad. Which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. He has always been my rock, my supporter, and my hero. He’s always stood by my choices and always gave me guidance through school; whether it was about sports or just needing an extra ear, my daddy was my go-to person. I’ve worked in the medical field for years, billing and coding, but once I arrive in Cleveland, there’s a new career path I’m taking. I want to be a firefighter. I’ve already inquired with a few of the local firehouses close to my new home. I’ll be able to complete the process once I arrive.
Here’s to starting my new life.
“Harris, can you hear me? I need you to call 911. Get your shit together,” Falcon says as he runs toward the suspects. “Call for backup, and do not fucking leave her. I’ll handle this, but I need backup now,” he yells as I hear more shots fired. The sound rings through my ears. Bang, bang, bang.
Three shots. Three shots that take her down. Take her away from me. I hear those three shots over and over as my ears ring.
“This can’t be fucking happening,” I say as I see the crimson spreading through her hair, down her face. She’s lying on her side, the blood pouring out. I’m frozen to the spot. I hear my name being called, but I just can’t move. How did this happen? I never wanted my work to follow me. I never thought she would be the one in the crossfire.
Crawling over to her, I pull her onto my lap.
“I love you. I just wanted to bring you coffee and tell you that I can’t wait to start our family. Please… Live, Kole,” she gasps then her breathing stops.
“Sherrie, no… Stay with me, baby. Help is on the way.” I rub my thumb over her lips. Her eyes are closed, and I feel her tears on my skin. “Baby, please don’t leave me,” I beg. Jesus, this can’t be happening.
I check her pulse—nothing. My wife, the love of my life, is gone. She’s really gone.
Placing her head gently on the ground, I stand up, wipe the te
ars that are streaming down my cheek, and start sprinting toward the other end of the street. They came this way; I saw one of them run in this direction. Pointing my gun as I round the corner, I hear someone’s cries.
“Please, don’t shoot. I didn’t mean to! I mean, it wasn’t me!” the young man cries as he falls to his knees.
“Get up!” I yell, but he doesn’t move. “I said get the fuck up. You killed her. You fucking killed her!” I scream as I walk toward him. He can’t be any older than twenty, if that.
“I’m so sorry. They made me. I needed the money. My mom is—”
“I don’t care why or who had you do what. You killed my goddamn wife. You took her away from me. She was my woman.” I hold my head in my hands, trying to keep it together, then glare at the guy in front of me, pointing my gun at him once more. “Get up! I should blow your fucking head off right now. I would get so much satisfaction from seeing your blood splattered on the cement, just like you did hers. Why her? Why did you shoot at her?” He hides his face but doesn’t say anything. “Why? Tell me why you decided to gun my wife down outside this coffee shop.”
“Harris, stop. She’s on her way to the hospital. He isn’t worth it. I’ll take care of him. You go be with Sherrie. She needs you. Come on, give me your gun,” Falcon says, walking toward me.
“No, she’s gone. This piece of shit killed her. She isn’t breathing. She’s just gone. The blood…it’s pouring from her mouth. Her hair’s covered in it,” I say, keeping my gun pointed at the suspect.
“Come on, just go to the hospital. I’ll take him into custody. He isn’t worth you losing your job, man. Sherrie’s family will need you. Stay strong, brother, I got this.”
“Don’t tell me what Sherrie’s family will need. She was my fucking wife, not yours. What if it were Brenda lying there? Would you be so goddamn calm then?” I seethe.
“Give me your goddamn gun, Kole! You can’t kill him, or it will forever be on your conscience. Trust me, killing him will not help your pain.”
“No, it sure won’t. But it can help, that’s for damn sure.” I want to see this piece of shit die. I want his family to feel what I’m feeling.
I’m lost, vulnerable, broken. And filled with hatred.
“Kole Harris, drop your gun. Come with me, I’ll take you to the hospital. Your sister is on her way, I just spoke with her,” Lopez says, stalking toward me. He’s married to my sister, Kathy. He and I have been best friends for years. He was my best man when Sherrie and I got married five years ago.
I feel my knees shaking. “She’s gone, Pez. This son of a bitch killed her.” The chilly September air fills my lungs as I breathe in deeply, trying to calm myself.
“I know, brother, I know. Your sister’s a mess. She’ll need you as much as you will her. Let Falcon take this garbage in. Just give me your gun,” he orders, reaching for my weapon. “Let’s go friend, you need to get to Kathy. She loves your wife as much as you do. I know you want to take him out, but that’s an easy out for him. He needs to suffer. Give me your gun.”
Dropping my weapon to the ground, I walk up to the kid and kick him as hard as I can before grabbing him by his hoodie. Pulling the hood over his head, so he can’t look me in my eyes, I ram my knee into his head. His screams make my blood boil, more than it already was.
“I hope you rot in Hell! That’s where you belong,” I say before pushing him into Falcon. “Lopez, let’s go.” I walk toward the cruiser, my legs moving faster than my brain, and although my pace is brisk, everything around me feels like it’s in slow motion before I reach the car door.
As we pull into the hospital parking lot, I see my sister, Kathy, and Sherrie’s mom. They’re crying and talking to some other folks. I tried holding it together on the way here, but she was my world. I think back to the conversation we had this morning.
“Kole, now that I’m finished with school, and you just got a promotion, I think it’s time. I’ll stop my birth control today. Jen said she could fit us in this week to see the fertility specialist.”
“Are you sure you’re ready? I know I am, but with you just starting your new job, will they be okay that you’re going to need time off?” I ask as I pull her into my arms.
“They’ll have to be. Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot will change, but you aren’t getting any younger, Harris.” She laughs.
“I say we get to work on starting our family right now then.” I smirk as I kiss her.
“I think I can pull a quickie off before I have to go to work,” she says, dropping the towel she’d been holding around her body.
I hear my name being called, bringing me back to the present. My sister grabs me, almost bringing me to my knees. Holding on to her, I finally shed the tears I’ve needed to.
“I’m so sorry, Kole. She was a wonderful woman. God, she loved you so much. I just spoke to her not even two hours ago,” she cries as we hug. “I hope they catch him. Why was she there anyway?”
“Falcon has him. A kid, a fucking punk-ass teenager.” I sigh. “She was bringing us coffee. When I spoke to her, she asked where we were, so I told her. She wanted to see me before pulling a double shift at the hospital tonight. I didn’t think there would be trouble. But then we saw one of the guys we arrested a few weeks ago, and that kid was with him. The next thing I saw was her falling to the ground and the coffee flying through the air.”
“You saw it all? Oh, my God, that’s awful. I’m so sorry, bub,” she says, holding me tighter.
“I hope you have that bastard who killed my baby,” Tammie, Sherrie’s mom, grits out as she approaches Kathy and me.
“He’s in custody, Mom. He will pay.” I release Kathy to wrap my arms around my mother in law. She’s been an amazing second mother to me. Sherrie is all that she had. She was her only child.
“They said you have to identify her.” She sobs in my arms.
“What? I do?” I ask, looking at Lopez, now holding my sister in his arms.
“Come on, I’ll go with you. Kathy can stay with Tammie,” he states.
“I can’t do this right now… I just can’t.” I punch the brick wall behind us. I watched my wife die and now they want me to identify her?
“I’m sorry, but you have to. I’ll be right here with you.” Lopez grasps my shoulder. “It has to be done, you know that.” As he squeezes my shoulder, I nod in agreement.
Walking down the long hall, we come upon two cold metal doors. The ones no one wants to walk through. Once through them, the smell almost knocks me on my ass. The smell of death.
Lopez talks with the man in the white lab jacket, who I’m assuming is the coroner. I see him whisper a few things. I stare at the table with my wife’s dead body, covered with a white sheet. The man moves closer to her body then slides the sheet down. I see my beautiful wife, her pale skin bruised, her blonde hair pulled back behind her ears. My knees buckle, bile creeping through my esophagus. Turning toward the door, I make a beeline for the nearest trash can. I see Lopez walking toward me.
“Jesus, Kole, I’m so fucking sorry you had to do that. That you have to go through this. I told the coroner that was Sherrie. Let’s get you home, man,” he says as he hands me a few paper towels.
Everything I’d ever known and loved was gone in mere seconds, all because of my job. My fucking job cost me the love of my life.
Lopez offers me a ride home, and I gladly accept. Once we pull into the driveway, I feel sick. This is the house I purchased with my wife, the house she wanted. The house we were going to raise our children in.
“You need me to come in with you, brother?” He exits the truck.
“No, I need to do this on my own. I…I’ll call you later. Please, keep Kathy safe.” I slam the door and walk up the driveway. This house is all Sherrie talked about for months. Once we put the offer in and they accepted, she was beyond ecstatic.
Unlocking the door, I step inside, and her scent hits me like a wrecking ball. Locking the door, I grab the bottle of vodka off the liqu
or rack and head directly up the stairs. I take a quick glance at our bed then turn and walk into the guest room, crawling into that bed instead. Turning my phone off, I toss it on the floor. Opening the clear fuel, I down it.
My best friend, my wife, my soul mate—just a memory now.
Two Years Later
My life was almost complete. My wife had just become a nurse practitioner for one of the best hospitals in Ohio, and we’d decided it was time to have a baby. We both loved kids, and I knew she would be an amazing mother. But we never got that chance. It was taken in the blink of an eye. That bullet was meant for me. That weighs on my mind daily. All the what if questions clog my brain. What if she hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time? What if I hadn’t been in that particular location? What if… it had been me? How would she have dealt with it? How would she have dealt with it, I know I sure as hell have been a fucking mess since that horrible September day.
After leaving the force, I became severely depressed. Verge of suicidal depressed. Hell, who wouldn’t be? My wife was gunned down in front of me, after all. Liquor became my best friend, and one-night stands keep my dick happy. But is my heart happy? Fuck no. I’m too broken on the inside.
Love? What the hell is that? I know there will never be anyone I can love as I did my wife. Will I ever give love another shot? Maybe, depending on the woman. But it’s already been two years, yet no one has caught my attention.
I started working at Layton Fire Department sixteen months ago. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fireman or a policeman. Lucky for me, I’ve been able to do both. I can honestly say that being a fireman has been better than the eight years I spent on the force, plus the two as a detective.
Being a firefighter/paramedic is a rewarding career. I can help save lives. But there are others we can’t save, can’t get to in time, and those are still on my mind. When I was hired, I was told to drop the patient off and never think of them again. That’s easier fucking said than done. Many nights, I wonder if Sally, John, or Jane is even still alive if they were able to get a new home. Shit like that plays over in my mind. One thing I can say about my career change is that since I’m not a detective, my family will be safe. I can never put any of them in the line of fire again, as my wife was.