Until Then

by Delisa Lynn

  “Pizza cool?” I ask as we pull in the parking lot of Pizza World. “It’s buffet-style, so there are a lot of choices.”

  “Sure, I’m starved.” She winks and opens her door as I walk around, meeting her in front of the truck. We walk hand in hand into the restaurant.

  “How many more tests do you have to take before you can pass the fire exam?” Hell, I think I took two or three.

  “Two more, and then I’m good to go. If I pass, of course.”

  “What makes you want to be a firefighter?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t ask me the same question.

  “Honestly?” She grabs a tray and walks down the buffet line. “I’d thought about it for years, and then when I moved here and became a paramedic, I just knew that I really did want to pursue it.”

  “Damn, that’s a good reason. It’s a tough job, but rewarding.”

  “Why did you switch? I mean, you were a detective, right?”

  I tense at the question, dragging a few pieces of chicken pizza onto my plate to stall for a couple seconds. “I was, for five years. I just wanted something different.”

  “I can’t fault you there. I totally get that. So, all your family lives here?” She slides in the booth, and I settle across from her.

  “Yes, both my parents still live in the same house I was raised in. My dad is an Army recruiter. My mom and aunt own Fancy Flowers, around the corner.”

  “That’s awesome. It sucks being away from my family. I was close with my dad. My mom left when I was a baby, so it was always just the two of us. Sure, he had girlfriends here and there, but I always wanted a sibling, and he never granted my wish.” She laughs.

  “Kathy and I have always been pretty close. There’s only a year difference between us. She and Lopez have been married for a while. My mom is ready for some grandkids.”

  “I’m sure. Why haven’t you ever been married?” she asks, and I know I need to tell her, but I’m not sure I want to here. Or if I’m ready to open up to her at all.

  “Just not my thing right now, I guess. London and Abbott have hit it off pretty well,” I say, changing the subject.

  “Yes, they have. She seems to really like him.” Her tongue darts out around her straw.

  Fuck, that mouth has my length stirring in my jeans.

  Shit, quit thinking about fucking her mouth. Clearing my throat, I say, “He’s pretty fond of her as well.”

  “This pizza is really good.” She moans around a bite.

  “Yeah, it’s one of my favorite places. Has been since I was a kid. Do you see your grandparents much since you’ve moved closer to them?”

  “Not as much as I should. I keep telling myself that I’m going to visit them more, but I’ve been focusing on joining the fire squad.”

  “I can understand that. They live in the country, yeah?” I ask, wanting to deflect any and all questions away from me, and my past. I’m not ready to discuss my life just yet.

  “They do, a few hours from here. I may venture out there in the next few weeks.”

  “I’m sure they would like that.”

  “Yeah… Maybe you could go with me. Just as friends, you know.”

  “That would be nice,” I reply, and she gives me that signature grin. We continue eating and talking, never bringing up my life as a cop, or my wife.

  After Kole had dropped me off, he headed home. I wanted to ask him in, but after the sex session and pizza, I was feeling things for him I shouldn’t have been. I keep telling myself not to fall for him. Sex—that’s all I can offer.

  That all men are the same…selfish pigs.

  Kicking off my shoes, I grab a bottle of wine and head toward the bathroom. A bubble bath and my Kindle have been calling my name since last night.

  With everything that happened with Lucas, I’ve built this wall around my heart, making a vow to myself that I wouldn’t fall for another man, that I wouldn’t love anyone else. I just can’t. But Kole has this effect on me, makes me want to push him away; I cannot and will not be hurt by another man ever again. I can remember the look in the eyes of the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. The look he gave me when he said he didn’t remember me or our life together. The life we built was just a mere dream. One day, we were happy and in love, and a day later, it was all gone.

  Pushing the thoughts out of my mind, I slide into the warm water. Yes, this is Heaven.

  Skimming through the books on my Kindle, I land on the one I’ve been dying to read since it released last week. Who needs men when you have book boyfriends? I try to settle in with my book, but I can’t really focus; I keep thinking about the man who had my toes curling at least three times in the last week. Then the man that crushed me.

  “Rosealy, I love you more than I could ever love anyone. You were my first love and will be my last love. Will you marry me?”

  “Yes! Yes, I will. I love you so much, Lucas,” I say between kisses.

  “You make me so happy. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Fuck! Thinking about that ass, my Kindle slipped out of my hands into the tub. At least the case protected it some. Hopping from the tub, I blow out the candles and head toward the kitchen, grabbing a dish towel as I strip my Kindle from its case. Thank God, it still works. I look at my phone and see I have a missed call and a few missed texts from Kole.

  Should I text him, or call? Hearing his voice would be better.

  “Hey, I was thinking about coming back over there when you didn’t answer.”

  “I was in the bathtub.”

  “Oh, I like that image,” he teases.

  “You’re more than welcome to come back over. That is if you want,” I quip.

  “Don’t tempt me. You hungry?” I hear him shuffling the phone.

  “Not really, we just ate less than three hours ago. What about you?”

  “Hmm. No, I’m still full from lunch. I just want to see you. How about I pick you up, and we grab some coffee?”

  “It’s almost nine, and you want coffee?” I laugh, but he doesn’t reply. “Okay, come back.”

  “Already in the truck. I’ll see you soon. Oh, and wear something comfortable.”

  “See you soon. I’ll unlock the door, so just come in when you get here.”

  “Don’t you do that. I’ll let you know when I get there. Never leave your door unlocked, babe.”

  Shit, he has a good point.

  “Okay, I’m getting dressed.”

  “See you soon.”

  What am I doing?

  The things he makes me feel aren’t normal. Well, okay, it is normal for a girl to want to be swooned and feel all warm and fuzzy. But I don’t want to feel that. I’m not ready for a relationship.

  But being fucked raw against the wall? That’s what I want. I think… Hell, I don’t even know what I want.

  “Get it together, Roe,” I scold myself as I gather some clothes. I opt for a pair of printed navy blue leggings with a long navy top. Grabbing my black sweater boots, I slide them on before brushing the hair that fell from the messy bun on top of my head. Fixing the bun once more, I’m touching up my makeup when I hear Kole’s truck pull into my driveway. “Shit, he’s fast.”

  Unlocking the door, I see he changed clothes. He’s in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, wearing a Cleveland Indians baseball cap. I smile as he approaches me, walking through the door to meet him on the porch. “You changed too.”

  “You look good. Yeah, I just went home and changed then realized I needed more time with you. You ready?” He steps closer to me, wrapping his hands around my waist.

  “Yes, just let me grab my purse.” I sling it over my shoulder and slide my phone in the side pocket. “So, coffee at this hour?”

  “Yes, why not? Oh, how would you feel about coming to my place? After the coffee, of course.” He opens my door, and I slide into the truck as he rushes to his side.

  “I don’t mind. I can meet Brutus.” I smile at the thought; I love dogs.


  “Yes, he’d like that.” After buckling his seatbelt, he turns the radio down.

  “You can leave it on.”

  “You sure? I think I’m just going to run through Tim Horton’s drive-thru and get us some coffee.”

  “That sounds great. I could go for some Timbits.” I love the birthday cake ones.

  “What the hell is a Timbit?” He scrunches his face.

  “They’re mini doughnuts. You’ve never had them?” My mouth drops open.

  “No, babe, I haven’t.”

  That’s the second time he’s called me ‘babe.’ Shaking away the thought, I continue. “Well, you’ll have to try them. So yummy.” I lick my lips. He pulls in the drive-thru, only a few cars in front of us.

  “Do you want hot or iced coffee?” he asks, grabbing his wallet from the console. “I think I’m in the mood for an iced.”

  “That sounds good. Small iced vanilla-flavored. And a family pack of Timbits.”

  “You got it.” He pulls his credit card from his wallet, and I catch a quick glimpse of a picture. A woman.

  It’s the same woman I saw in the picture at Kathy’s; I remember looking at it and wondering who she was. She was with Lopez, Kathy and… Oh. My. Gosh… It was Kole. I know it was him in the picture.

  Even though I’m dying to ask, I push the questions to the back of my mind, staring out my window while he pays for our food. I’m sure he isn’t involved; he would tell me if he was. Wouldn’t he?

  “You okay over there, sweetheart?” He hands me the box of Timbits and my coffee. I nod without speaking.

  “You sure?” he asks for reassurance as he pulls forward.

  “I’m fine,” I say. “Just tired, I guess. This coffee is so good.” I give him a thumbs-up.

  “My place isn’t too far from here. We can watch a movie if you’d like. You’d be surprised to know that I’m a sucker for a good romance or drama. What’s your favorite movie?”

  “Hmm, let me think about that.” I take another drink of my coffee and grab a Timbit. Thank goodness the first one I come to is the infamous birthday cake. Score! “Okay. No laughing and no judging. Promise?”

  “I can’t make any promises that I won’t laugh.” He smirks. “Lay it on me, babe.”

  “Sweet Home Alabama,” I rush out.

  “Sweet what?” he questions.

  “Sweet Home Alabama, with Reese Witherspoon and Patrick Dempsey.”

  “Never heard of it,” he says, and I just stare at him, jaw almost to the floor. “What? I haven’t! Don’t forget I am quite a bit older than you.”

  “The movie is old! It was released in 2002, I think.” Hang on. Grabbing my phone, I do an Internet search. Boom. I was right. “Yep, 2002. You’ve never heard of it?”

  “No, we’ll have to watch it. I have Netflix.” He turns down a street that looks familiar; I believe I’ve been in this area before. “This is my complex. It’s not much, but I’m okay here,” he says as we park in front of the large building. He rushes to my door and helps me out.

  Walking hand in hand, we pass a few buildings before heading up to one. There are three doors, and when he unlocks the third one, we’re greeted by loud barking. “Brutus,” I greet, bending down to pet the chubby little dog. “What does your daddy feed you?” I’m now fully on my knees on Kole’s floor, rubbing his dog’s belly.

  “He loves treats. I keep telling my sister not to feed him every time he does his business, but he tricks her. He knows she has treats for him when he does. I honestly think he fakes her out.”

  “Are you saying this cute little dog is tricking your sister in order to get extra treats?” I raise my eyebrows.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He laughs. “Outside, Brutus?” he says, and the dog launches himself at Kole, who snaps a leash on him. “Watch,” he tells me, and I follow them out. “Go potty, boy, and you can have treats.” Brutus runs around the small courtyard and does his business, then walks as close to the door he can being on a short leash.

  “He’s done already?” I ask as we walk back toward the entrance.

  “Yes, but just wait until you see what he does,” Kole says.

  Walking back in, he grabs some treats and Brutus sits for them. He gives him a few, and I stand there watching the cute chubby dog scoff them down. He eats what looks to be at least three. Kole smirks then takes my hand, leading me to the couch. I keep my eyes on Brutus, who’s watching us. He follows us, and as we sit, he scratches at Kole’s legs. He ignores the dog and flips on the TV. Just as I’m about to speak, Brutus runs to the door, barking.

  “Now, this is where he’ll trick us.” Kole chuckles then stands, and I follow him. He snaps the leash back on the dog, we walk outside, and sure enough, it’s only two seconds before Brutus pretends to do his business and is ready to go back inside. “See, told you. Kathy falls for it every time.”

  “Wow, he is a smart dog. He just wants more treats?” I ask as we walk back into the small apartment. Brutus runs in front of us and straight toward the box Kole had retrieved his treats from earlier.

  “One more, boy, but that’s all for tonight,” Kole says, tossing another treat to the dog. “Now, you and I have a date. Sweet Home Alabama?” He reaches for my hand, and I take it, grabbing my snack and coffee with the other.

  “Sit and I’ll grab some chips.” He goes back into the small kitchen area, opens a cabinet, and pours some chips in a large bowl. “Now, let’s see if we can find the movie on demand.”

  “Okay.” I kick my boots off and bring my legs up and under me. I pop a Timbit in my mouth and moan around the sugary goodness.

  “Did you just moan?” Kole asks, settling in next to me.

  “Err, yeah?” It comes out more as a question. He stares at me. “I told you these things are delish.” I pop another in my mouth and put one to his lips. “Try this one,” I say as he opens his mouth.

  “Damn, those are good.” He leans back, sipping his coffee. “These are the only chips I had. Hope this is okay,” he says as I see a bowl of sour cream and onion floating in front of me.

  “I love this kind,” I tell him, popping a few in my mouth. “You never did tell me what your favorite movie is,” I mumble around a mouthful of chips. I feel my stomach bubbling, and realize that, sour cream and onion doesn’t mix well with vanilla coffee and doughnuts. I need to remember this.

  “Hmm, let’s see. I have a bunch of movies I could re-watch. But my all-time favorite is Scarface.” He grins—typical man.

  “I love that movie!” I say, probably a little too excitedly.

  His face goes soft. “Really? You do?”

  “Hell yeah, I do. Now, let’s find my movie so you can see how great it is.” I look over and see that Brutus is curled up on a small blue bed next to the door. Glancing around, I see that there are no photos of people on the walls, only a few paintings. But most people don’t like people photos, so maybe it’s not so weird.

  “We’re in luck. Both movies are on Netflix. Which one first?” He crosses his left leg over his right, and I lean into him. “You cold?” he asks, as he grabs the throw from the back of the couch.

  “A little, thanks. You choose!” I pop another doughnut in my mouth. “I’m down for either.”

  “Okay, since I haven’t watched yours, we’ll go for that one. Sound good?”

  “Sure.” I snuggle closer to him as he drapes the blanket over my legs. “I like your place. It’s small and cozy. You’ve been here a couple years?”

  He tenses a little but then relaxes. “Thanks. Yeah, I sold my house and moved in a little over two years ago. Look, I never talk about this with anyone, but I like you, so here goes. I was married before. Then she was killed two years ago, so I sold our house and left the force.” I watch as his jaw ticks, and my heart breaks for him. He turns his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  Tears well in my eyes, “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “How long were you married?” I ask, the tears spilling down my face.

&n
bsp; He doesn’t look at me, just stares at the TV. “Five years. She had just taken a job at Cleveland Memorial as a lead nurse practitioner. The bullet was meant for me; she was just bringing me coffee. Some kid was working for a drug lord I’d arrested two months before. Shot her dead in front of me,” he says, and I see his face turning a deep red.

  Gasping, my hand tightens around his. “God, Kole. I’m so sorry.”

  “You are the first woman outside of my family that I’ve opened up to, about my late wife, or the life we had. But I feel a connection with you that I haven’t felt with anyone, and it fucking scares the shit out of me, Roe.”

  Clearing my throat, I add, “I feel the connection too. I haven’t been with anyone since Lucas, until you.”

  “It’s been rough. I started drinking the day she died and hooking up with a different chick daily. I’m done with that. Will you be my girl? When I saw you at Paula’s with that dude, I was so fucking pissed. I wanted to punch him. Then you left with him, and I was angry. I knew then that I need you. That I crave you. I don’t think… Fuck, I know I don’t want to see you with anyone else.” Once the words leave his mouth, I feel a sense of relief; I don’t want to be with anyone other than him either. My heart is breaking for him right now. The things he’s been through…no person should witness that.

  “Matt is a really good friend. And he’s gay, by the way.”

  “No way? He is?” I smile and nod. “You didn’t answer my question. Will you be mine? Please say yes. God, please say yes.” He pulls me onto his lap, hugging me tight to his chest.

  “Yes. Under one condition,” I say, placing a kiss on his lips.

  “What’s that, babe?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

  “You’ll cook me breakfast in the morning.” I wink.

  “Damn, that’s all? I could grab more doughnuts,” he teases.

  “Nope, I want you to cook for me. French toast and bacon.”

  “Deal,” he says, his lips lightly pressing against mine before pulling back. “Come on, the movie can wait.” He sets me on my feet then stands and walks me into a small bedroom, consisting of a large bed, a dresser, and nightstand. “I need you in my bed.” He slides his sweats off, and I see he’s going commando. And ready for me. Grabbing the neck of his shirt, he slides it over his head and throwing it to the floor.