“Huh? Why?”
She turns to face me and I can see the pain in her eyes. “I have a crush on Caleb.”
“Caleb?!” I shout. “No. No, no, no. You can’t. Jo, they’re best friends.”
“You think I don’t know that?!” She throws her hands in the air frustratedly. “It’s not like I wanted this to happen. I never thought it would, but then they started living together and I spent so much time around him. It just, happened.”
If Jason knew she broke up with him because of Caleb, he would be devastated – more so than he already is. He trusts that guy with his life, and even though this isn’t necessarily Caleb’s fault, he would never be able to look at him the same way.
“Did your feelings for Caleb just replace your feelings for Jason?” I inquire.
She shakes her head. “Not at all. I still really like Jason, but me having feelings for Caleb isn’t fair to him. He deserves someone who only has eyes for him.” A tear slips out of her eye and slides down her cheek.
A part of me considers telling her what Jason said, but I don’t think it would help at all. I reach over and put my hand on her shoulder, showing her I’m not mad and that I’m here for her. “What are you going to do, love?”
“Focus on myself and try to get over it, I guess.”
“So, you’re not going to act on it?”
Her eyes widen. “No, of course not.”
I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Okay good, because I don’t think I can handle seeing their friendship crumble.”
“I’d never do that to them. They’re practically brothers.”
“The most obnoxious kind of brothers.”
She smiles sadly. “Obnoxious, but adorable.”
I’M LYING IN BED, trying to fall asleep but having no luck. Even cuddling with the teddy bear isn’t helping. I turn my head and look at the alarm clock. 2:37 AM. I’ve been tossing and turning for over two hours now. I never realized it would be this difficult to sleep alone.
I grab my phone off the nightstand and compose a quick text message.
Me: I miss you.
Within a couple of seconds, I’m startled when my phone rings – a video call from Holden flashing on the screen. I answer it, and use the bear to prop my phone up on the bed. My fiancé’s face appears. He’s lying in bed as well, looking just as awake as I am.
“Can’t sleep?” He asks, smiling as soon as he sees me.
“Not even a little.” I answer.
He nods slightly. “I guess we should have expected this. We haven’t slept in separate beds since April.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Me either.”
The two of us talk about Jo, Jason, and what Boston is like. Within minutes, we’re both yawning and finally tired enough to sleep. We end up staying quiet, just looking at each other through a screen and watching the other’s eyes droop closed.
“Should we hang up?”
He tiredly shakes his head. “No. I want your face to be the last thing I see tonight.”
And just like that, we fall asleep – together in the only way we can be right now.
AFTER CLASS THE NEXT day, I come home to my apartment and instantly feel uncomfortable by the vacancy of it. I try to immerse myself in wedding plans, but it’s too soon. The only thing it does is make me upset and miss Holden even more. Frustratedly, I grab the softest blanket I can find and snuggle into it on the couch.
I’m watching a re-run of Gossip Girl when there’s a knock at the door. I’ve finally gotten comfortable and really don’t want to get up, so I opt for yelling instead.
“Come in!”
The door opens and Caleb steps inside. I smile politely, though a part of me is wondering why he’s here.
“Hey you.” He greets me.
“Hey.”
A part of me feels a little awkward, knowing what I know now about Jo and Jason. Still, this is Caleb. We’ve been friends for two years now, and I shouldn’t hold something against him that he has no control over.
“I just thought I’d come check on you. See how you’re holding up.”
I tilt my head to each side. “Been better, been worse.”
“Understandable.” He nods. “Well, I’m right across the hall if you need anything.”
“Thank you.” I say honestly. As he goes to walk back out the door, the idea of being alone again has me stopping him. “Caleb?”
He turns back around. “Yeah?”
“Do you maybe want to stay and hang out for a little? It’s kinda lonely in here.”
A smile spreads across his face and he shuts the door, coming over and sitting down on the couch. He places his feet on the coffee table and looks at the TV.
“Gossip Girl?”
“You know it?”
“Y-yeah, uh,” He stutters. “My sister made me watch it all the time.”
My eyebrows furrow. “Caleb, you don’t have a sister.”
He smirks guiltily. “Alright, enough from you. Shut up and watch Blair put Georgina in her place.”
I giggle and turn my attention back to the TV, grateful to have some company – even only for the time being.
Chapter 14
I’m sitting on the counter with my feet dangling. Dawson is putting away mugs while I’m texting Holden. He’s been gone for over a week now, and the amount I miss him is immeasurable. Thankfully, he’s coming home for the weekend – finally having time in between training and preseason.
“I just don’t understand why he’s constantly at your apartment.” Dawson remarks, talking about Caleb.
Rolling my eyes, I hit send and put my phone down. “We’re friends.”
Since the day after Holden left, Caleb and I have been hanging out almost every day. At first it was just nice to have some company, but over time I’ve really gotten to know him. We’ve surprisingly become close, but in a strictly platonic kind of way.
“Kayleigh.” He says, blankly. “Do you not remember when him and Holden used to all but piss on you to claim territory?”
“That was different. I’m engaged now. He knows nothing’s ever going to happen between us.”
“Are you sure about that?” He asks, nodding toward the door.
I turn around to see Caleb just coming in. Flipping off Dawson, I smile as he approaches the counter. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He greets me. “You almost ready to go?”
“Yeah.” I nod and go to grab my jacket. I have class in twenty minutes, so Caleb is giving me a ride to my apartment to get my books, and then to campus. “I’ll text you, Daws.”
“You better.”
POPCORN LIES SCATTERED ALL over the couch and the floor. I clutch my stomach from laughing so hard, making fun of Caleb for being horrible at this game. He glares playfully and tosses one at me.
“Come on, try another.” He pleads.
I snicker and grab another piece. “Fine, but you’re cleaning all this up.”
“Deal.”
The popcorn flies from my hand in the perfect toss, yet he still can’t manage to catch it in his mouth. The hilarious part isn’t that he misses it. It’s the way he looks as he does it. He sticks his tongue out and closes his eyes, looking like some kind of stoned frog. It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with your face?”
“You mean it’s not cute?”
I chuckle. “Sure, if you think an amphibian with a twitch is cute.”
His jaw drops. “Are you calling me a frog?”
“Yes.”
“Damn, you really know how to deflate a guy’s ego.” He jokes.
“I know. It’s a gift.”
A knock on the door tells me our Chinese is here. I grab the money off the table and pay the delivery guy, bringing our food inside. As soon as the bag is on the counter, Caleb starts raiding it as if he hasn’t eaten in weeks.
“It’s amazing to me that you’re not 700 pounds.” I comment, watching him ho
ld his egg roll in his mouth while he finds the rest of his food.
“Who, me?” He replies with a muffled voice.
I shake my head and laugh softly.
The two of us sit on the couch, eating and watching an episode of Prison Break. He got me hooked on this show and we’ve been binging it on Netflix. When Wentworth Miller comes on the screen, I groan.
“The fact that he’s gay is a disappointment to all womankind.”
Caleb cocks his head to the side. “It’s the tattoos, but they’re not real.”
“Eh, maybe. I still think it’s more than that though.”
A COUPLE HOURS LATER, we’re just about to start another episode when the door opens and Holden walks in. My eyes widen and my heart starts to pound as I stare at him in shock. His flight wasn’t supposed to be until tomorrow morning. He looks at Caleb confused, but then turns to me.
“Don’t I get a hug?”
I jump up and run to him, not caring as the plate tumbles to the floor. He catches me with ease and breathes into my hair.
“I thought you’d get home tomorrow!”
He pulls away and kisses me softly. “I got an earlier flight, wanted to surprise you.”
A broad smile stretches across my face. “Best surprise, ever.”
Holding me close, he finally acknowledges Caleb’s existence. “Hey man. How’ve you been?”
“Pretty good. How’s hockey?”
“Exhausting and incredible all at the same time.”
Caleb nods, understanding exactly what he means – after all, he did play soccer for all of college. He gets up and takes his plate into the kitchen, putting it in the sink before coming towards the door.
“Well, I’m going to go. I’m sure you two want to catch up.”
I grin at him, grateful that we don’t need to kick him out. However, if it were to come down to it, I wouldn’t hesitate to. It’s been way too long since I’ve gotten my hands on my fiancé. He pats Holden on the shoulder and leaves. Once he’s gone, Holden eyes me carefully.
“Does he spend any time at his own apartment?”
“Yes.” I answer. “He’s been good company though, and besides, Jason is still in mourning. Caleb said if he hears Jason whine about Jo one more time he’s going to lose it.”
“Should I be worried?”
“About Jason?”
“No.”
I giggle at his jealousy and kiss his cheek. “Not at all. Now come, if I don’t get you in our bed within the next twenty minutes, I’m going to combust.”
He drops the topic immediately, lifting me up and carrying me into the bedroom.
AS MUCH AS I love these parties, I hate not having Holden’s attention. All night he’s been getting bombarded with people wondering what it’s like to be in the NHL. I guess I should have expected this, but that doesn’t make it suck any less.
“Well don’t you look happy.” Caleb quips. “What’s up?”
I glance over at my fiancé, seeing him happily rambling on about training. “He hasn’t even noticed I walked away yet.”
“Aw, don’t stress about it. He loves you.”
“I know he does. I’m not doubting that.” I take a sip of my beer. “I’m just being selfish.”
“What else is new?”
Lightly hitting his chest with the back of my hand, Dawson watches us intently. I know he cares, but he really needs to chill. There is nothing going on between Caleb and me. When I roll my eyes, he comes over to us.
“Having fun?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
Caleb nudges me with his elbow. “She just needs a few shots.”
“No.” Dawson answers firmly. “I think shots are the last thing she needs.”
The tension between them is thick, and it doesn’t surprise me when Caleb excuses himself. I glare at Dawson. Instead of saying anything, he just smiles triumphantly and gets me another beer. When he gets back, he sits down beside me.
“You didn’t have to scare him away like that.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Does that bother you?”
“Yes, but only because he’s my friend. I wouldn’t let someone push you away from me.”
“That’s different. I’m married, and have zero interest in getting in your pants.”
“Well that’s good to know.” Holden remarks, coming around the couch to sit on the other side of me. “You okay?” I look down at the floor and Dawson walks away to let us talk. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
When my eyes meet his, I can see he’s genuinely worried. I half shrug and frown. “I’m just in my head. Don’t worry about me.”
He places his hand on mine. “I’m always going to worry about you. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Anything that bothers you is not stupid.” He stands up and pulls me with him, leading us outside and into the backyard. As soon as he finds a secluded spot near the fire, he sits down and pulls me onto his lap. “Alright, spill.”
“I’m just jealous.” I answer shyly, realizing how ridiculous that sounds as soon as it leaves my mouth.
“Of?”
“Anyone who has your attention that isn’t me.”
Understanding washes over Holden’s face and he nods. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t expect all of this, or I would have opted to stay home. Do you want to leave?”
“No. I’m just being clingy.”
He nuzzles his face into my neck and kisses my collarbone. “Well, lucky for you, I happen to like it when you’re clingy.” I giggle as his breath tickles against my skin. “I won’t leave you alone for the rest of the night. I promise.”
For the remainder of the party, Holden keeps his word, keeping me close to him and even blowing off a few people who come up to us. For once, it feels like old times – before my fiancé became a big-shot and my best friend turned into the bodyguard I didn’t ask for.
TWO WEEKS PASS BY. Holden is supposed to come home again for a couple days, but ends up having to stay for extra practice. I try to play it cool, but I’m breaking inside. I mean, it’s hard enough being without him for the expected amount of time. Anything more than that is practically unbearable.
“Are you alright?” His smooth voice echoes through the phone.
I sigh. “I just miss you.”
“I know. I miss you too.”
We get off the phone a few minutes later, him needing to attend the team meeting this afternoon. I’m crying softly into my blanket when Caleb walks in the door. He’s holding two drinks from Starbucks and pauses when he sees the condition I’m in.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, concerned.
I wipe the tears away with my sleeve before taking the cup from his hands. “Holden isn’t coming this weekend.”
“But you had that date planned.”
“He doesn’t know that. Besides, it’s not his fault. Coach says jump, he has to say how high.”
He sits down and pulls me in for a hug. I go willingly, glad for the comfort. After a minute or so of consoling me, he hums. “Why don’t you go to him?” He suggests.
I back up and look at him as I ponder the idea. “You think I should? I mean, Holden didn’t ask me to.”
“Nonsense.” He waves me off dismissively. “You know he wants you there. Go surprise him.”
I’m not going to lie, the thought of having Holden all to myself in a hotel room is very enticing. After thinking about it for another moment, I grab my phone and book a plane ticket to Boston. I get up to pack, telling Caleb I leave in two hours and thanking him when he offers to drive me to the airport.
NEARLY FOUR HOURS LATER I’m walking down the hallway of the hotel. I’m practically shaking, nervous that he won’t be happy to see me. With perfect timing, he initiates a video call as I’m standing outside of his door. I smile and answer it.
“Hey you.”
“Hi.” He sounds relieved. “I thought you would be a wreck. I’m glad you’re not.”
I shake my
head. “It happens. What matters more is how we handle it.”
He’s lying on his bed, and I can hear his voice through the closed door. It isn’t until he gets a better look at me that he narrows his eyes. “Wait a minute, where are you?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Why does that look so familiar?”
Finally, it dawns on him. He lights up as he drops his phone and runs to the door, opening it to find me standing on the other side.
“Surprise.”
Pulling me into his arms, he lifts me up and carries me into the room. We kiss deeply before he leans his forehead against mine. “What are you doing here?”
“You couldn’t come to me, so I did the next best thing.”
His grin is enough to tell me it was the right move. “I can’t believe you’re actually in Boston right now.”
“I can leave if you want.” I joke.
He tightens his grip around me. “Don’t even think about it.”
HOLDEN SKATES AROUND THE rink, running the drill exactly how the Coach instructed. By the time he’s finished, it’s obvious how drained he is. However, he still wants to go shower and then set out to show me the area.
“Babe, we really don’t have to.” I tell him.
He leans over and kisses me. “I want to, so shush.”
When we get to his back to his room, I sit on the bed, waiting for him to rinse off and get ready. Suddenly, my stomach starts to feel queasy. I don’t know if it’s something I ate or nerves, but I don’t have much time to think about it. Within seconds, I’m lunging off the bed and running over to the trash can – emptying the contents of my stomach into it. Holden’s just coming out of the bathroom and sees it unfold.
“I guess we’re staying in after all.”
Chapter 15
The sound of flights being called for boarding echo around the airport. I rest my head on Holden’s chest, not wanting to leave yet. We had one good night together, and the rest of time was ruined by my vomiting. He, of course, was the perfect gentleman – taking care of me and holding my hair back as I retched into the toilet.
Seamless Forever (Sleepless November Saga Book 3) Page 10