Seamless Forever (Sleepless November Saga Book 3)

by Kelsey Clayton

  “No, that would be the morphine and your body finally relaxing from the pain you were in earlier. Take a nap. You’re going to be here a while.”

  My eyes drift closed as he talks to Caleb about what to look out for. The only thing on my mind right now is wishing Holden were here. Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple.

  I WAKE, ONCE AGAIN, in horrible pain. I’m already screaming before I even realize I’m awake. Caleb is trying to get my attention but the feeling in my stomach overpowers every part of his voice. He rushes over to the door, yelling for a doctor or nurse – anyone to help. Several people in scrubs come running into the room.

  “What’s going on, Kayleigh?” The doctor from earlier addresses me.

  “P-pain.” I manage to choke out.

  He lifts the blanket and spreads my legs before turning around and addressing the nurse. “She’s bleeding and the baby’s heart is showing signs of distress. Call the OR and tell them we’re coming up for an emergency C-section.”

  “What?! N-no. The baby’s lungs. Holden. Y-you can’t.”

  “Mrs. Rivers, I’m going to need you to calm down.” He disconnects my IV and the monitors, then raises the rails on the bed. “Trust me, we will do everything we can to make sure your daughter is as healthy as can be.”

  “But my husband!” I turn to Caleb. “Have you heard from him?”

  He shakes his head. “Not yet.”

  Tears spill from my eyes as they start pushing the bed out the door. The pain is unbearable but the panic is worse. There’s a whole team of medical professionals rushing with me towards the elevator. Caleb stays behind, watching me from the doorway.

  We get to the elevator and wait for it to open. When it does, I sob even harder. Holden is standing on the other side of the doors. He’s shocked when he sees me and the many nurses.

  “Sir, I’m going to need you to move out of the way.”

  He steps back into the corner of the elevator. “That’s my wife.”

  The doctor looks to me for confirmation and I nod. “Holden.” I breathe.

  They push me into the elevator and he’s next to me immediately, holding my hand and looking around for someone to fill him in. “What’s going on?”

  “Your wife is experiencing placental abruption. It just became more severe, so we need to deliver the baby as soon as possible.”

  “Is she ready for that?”

  “The timing is less than ideal, but we have a fantastic NICU and all the required tools to give your daughter the best chance at survival.”

  Holden looks at me, and I can see the terrified look in his eyes. He bends down and kisses my forehead, promising me that everything will be okay. Just knowing he’s here helps, but I’m so worried about my daughter that I can’t seem to process anything.

  We get to the OR floor and they push me to a door. The nurse places her hand on Holden’s arm and instructs him to come with her.

  “What? No. I want to be in the room.” He tells her.

  “Please don’t take him.” I beg.

  She smiles softly. “I’m just taking him to get into scrubs. The room needs to be sterile.”

  “And then he will be with me?”

  He watches her nod and then turns to me, placing his hands on my cheek. “Every step of the way, remember?”

  “Not going anywhere.” I confirm.

  My husband walks away, following the nurse. The others push me into the cold, bland room. This is not the room I imagined my daughter being born in – completely bare of any emotion or warmth. It’s terrifying.

  An anesthesiologist comes in to give me an epidural. I’ve seen videos and pictures of the large needle, but nothing is like seeing it in person. However, compared to the intense pain I’m in, it’s as insignificant as a pinch.

  As soon as he’s done, they lie me down on the metal table. Holden comes in dressed in blue scrubs. I’m not going to lie, if he wasn’t a hockey player, I’d want him to become a doctor. He can make anything look good, but those scrubs look hot.

  The nurses set up a large blue sheet, hanging it so I can’t see what they’re doing near my stomach. I hold my husband’s hand, frightened of what’s to come next. My daughter is about to be born seven weeks early.

  Please, God, let her be alright.

  Chapter 30

  My eyes blink open, feeling the throbbing ache in my lower stomach. It’s nothing like the pain from earlier, but it’s not comfortable. I turn my head to see Caleb, Jason, and Jo all playing on their phones. I groan slightly as I try to sit up.

  “You’re awake.” Jo acknowledges as she looks up at me. She pockets her phone and comes closer. “How are you feeling?”

  “Sore.” I glance around the room. “Where’s Holden?”

  “He’s in the NICU with the baby. I’ll text him and let him know you’re awake.”

  “Do you know how she is?”

  She shakes her head. “He’s been in there since I got here. You’re not allowed to touch your phone without having to wash your hands after, so he hasn’t been texting much.”

  Memories of her being born flood my mind.

  “Are you ready, Mrs. Rivers?” The doctor asks.

  I stare into my husband’s eyes and mumble out a yes, squeezing his hand as tightly as I can. The doctor starts to poke around, asking if I can feel it but I don’t feel anything anymore. Everything is completely numb, even my legs. The smell of the room is nauseating, but all I’m focused on is waiting for my daughter’s cry.

  “Almost there.” He tells me, lowering his voice to address the other doctor and nurses. I can hear metal tools moving around and asking for things – none of it matters though.

  “Mr. Rivers, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

  Holden looks to me and I nod, releasing his hand so he can follow their instructions. When he comes back to me, he smiles with tears in his eyes. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Why is she so quiet?” I ask.

  “Wait for it.” The nurse assures me calmly.

  A few seconds later, a soft cry fills the room. My heart grows ten sizes just at the sound of my daughter’s voice. I can’t fight the tears that release like a waterfall. They clean her up and wrap her in a light pink blanket before handing her to Holden.

  “Say hello to your baby girl.” He whispers as he brings her closer to my head.

  Her big blue eyes stare back at me. She’s completely angelic and so very small. I kiss her forehead as I peek up at Holden. The way he looks at her is the same way he looks at me but more. I find myself instantly falling deeper in love with him. The bond between us only intensified with the birth of our daughter.

  “We need to take her to the NICU now.” The woman breaks the news as lightly as she can manage, waiting for Holden to hand the baby back.

  I kiss her one last time and he pulls her away to give her to the nurse. I grab his hand to get his attention. “Go with her.”

  “Are you sure?” He asks.

  I nod. “If I can’t be with her, I want you to be. Go.”

  He bends down to press his lips to mine. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  As soon as they leave the room, I find myself drifting to sleep – completely exhausted from the events of today.

  “Your niece is stunning.” I tell Jo.

  She grins widely. “I’d expect nothing less.”

  Caleb gets up and comes to stand next to me. “You win the award for having me the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life.”

  I chuckle. “And you win the award for being the best friend to have in a crisis.”

  He tilts his head to each side, pondering it. “Sounds like a fair trade to me.”

  A few minutes later, Holden comes into the room. He basically ignores everyone else and comes straight over to me. Now that the chaos of everything is done, I can finally relish in the feeling of having him here.

  “Is she okay?”

  He lights up like nothing I’ve ever seen. “S
he’s perfect.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. They had a breathing machine ready for her in case she needed it, but she’s doing just fine without it. She’s a little small at only four pounds, but that’s the only thing keeping her in there.”

  A rush of relief floods my entire body. “Oh, thank God.”

  The tears are flowing down not only my cheeks but Jo’s as well. Being born so early, all of us were afraid she would have so many issues. However, I should have known she would be a rock star. After all, she is Holden’s daughter.

  “When can I see her?”

  Holden looks at Jo and she understands without any words needed. “I’ll go check.” She tells us and leaves the room.

  A nurse ends up bringing me a wheelchair. It takes both her and Holden to help me into it. I may have downplayed it earlier when I said I’m sore. It’s a bit more than that.

  The walk from my room to the NICU is short. My husband pushes me, gushing about how gorgeous our baby girl is. I can’t wait to get another look at her. He presses the button for them to buzz us in the door.

  We’re both instructed to wash our hands and put yellow gowns on. Once we’re done, he walks me over to the incubator our daughter is in. She’s sound asleep and looking like the definition of perfection. I reach in and place my finger in her hand. Her reflex causes her to grab it. I feel like my heart is going to explode.

  “She’s amazing.”

  Holden places his hand on my shoulder. “She gets that from you.”

  “Do you want to hold her?” The NICU nurse asks me.

  “Can I?!”

  “Absolutely. She’s doing so well.”

  We move out of her way and she flicks a few latches to open the incubator. Sliding a couple of the wires out of the way, she lifts my sleeping daughter and places her in my arms. I hold her close to me, completely sucked into everything she is.

  “Have you held her yet?” I ask Holden.

  He nods. “She slept in my arms for a couple hours while you were in recovery.”

  We spend the next few hours taking turns with cuddling her. Holden ends up feeding her a small bottle of formula, which she takes surprisingly well for her size. The nurse explains to us that as long as she thrives, she should be able to leave the NICU when she reaches five pounds. I don’t know how long that could take, but she only has one pound to go. Hopefully she gets there quickly because the thought of being away from her physically hurts.

  MY MOTHER IS THE first of our parents to arrive. I’m already back in my room when she walks in, looking like she’s aged five years within the last day. I guess that happens when you find out your daughter needs to be rushed into surgery. John follows in behind her.

  “I’m so glad you’re alright.” My mom tells me, placing her things on the table and taking a seat next to my bed. “What happened?”

  “I had placental abruption. The placenta detached from my uterus and the baby’s heart was showing signs of distress. They needed to get her out.”

  “What could have caused that?”

  I frown. “I’m not sure. I haven’t gotten a chance to ask. The doctor should be coming around soon.”

  Holden comes back from the NICU, greeting my mom and John and showing them pictures of the baby. They both coo at how adorable she is and congratulate the two of us on becoming parents. I watch lovingly as my husband gushes about our daughter.

  When the doctor arrives at our room to check on me, my mom immediately starts barraging him with questions. I try to stop her, but she doesn’t listen.

  “How did this happen? She was completely healthy and the pregnancy was going well.”

  “Well, ma’am, there are numerous causes for placental abruption. There could be too much amniotic fluid, or an infection within the uterus. Smoking or recreational drugs such as cocaine could also be a cause but…”

  My mom’s head whips toward me. “Kayleigh Madison Jacobs.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Okay one, it’s Rivers, and two, I haven’t used drugs.”

  “So, you just happened to have a rare complication that can be caused by your previous drug of choice?”

  “Ma’am.” The doctor interrupts. “It’s protocol for us to drug test all patients who are admitted to our facility.” He turns his tablet to show my mother. “Kayleigh’s came back completely clean.”

  She exhales a long breath and smiles sadly. “I’m sorry sweetheart. I just worry so much about you.”

  I take her hand in mine. “I know, Mom. I never used to understand it, but when I held my daughter today, it all made sense. You need to trust me, though. I’m never going to go back to that.”

  BEING AWAY FROM MY daughter is extremely difficult, but it hurts to stay sitting up for long. Holden can tell I’m upset every second that I can’t be with her. To make me feel better, he brings me back one of her blankets. It smells like her and I cuddle with it like it’s the most cherished thing in my life.

  An idea seems to spring to his mind and he jumps up, telling us all he will be right back. I watch as he runs out of the room with his phone to his ear.

  “I don’t think the adrenaline has fully drained from his body yet.” Jo remarks, making us all laugh.

  While he’s gone, Heather, Dan, Emily, and Brandon all arrive. They come in with presents and balloons, but all I care about is my best friend. I didn’t know how much I needed her here until she walked in the door. Without a care in the world, she demands I scoot over and climbs into the bed with me.

  “Are you okay?”

  I snuggle into her side. “I’m better now.”

  “I got here as soon as I could.”

  “I know. Thank you.”

  “Always.”

  Holden’s parents ask me questions, most of which are answered by everyone else. H comes back a short while later. He barely greets his family as he pushes through everyone to get to the TV remote.

  “What are you doing weirdo?” Jo asks him but he ignores her.

  He turns on the television and flicks it to a certain channel. It’s password protected, but he enters the code. Seconds later, a video feed of my daughter appears on the screen. Everyone gasps as they see her. All I want to do is cry and kiss my husband.

  “You did this?”

  He nods. “It wasn’t easy, but one of the Kappa guys is a computer nerd. He helped me set it up.”

  I wipe the tears from my cheek. “You’re the best.”

  “You just went through hell to give birth to our daughter. You’ve given me the most amazing gift in existence, and nothing I do will ever compare to that.”

  He pulls a chair next to the bed and holds my hand. I’ve got Emily on one side and Holden on the other. The rest of the people I love fill the room, with Dawson, Skylar, and Bree coming soon. We all watch the screen, softly talking about how beautiful the baby is. I couldn’t be happier.

  THE NEXT MORNING, A nurse comes into the room with paperwork. It’s just Holden, his parents, and I. She has a few things for me to sign and then gets to the birth certificate.

  “Have you thought of a name yet?”

  “No.” Holden answers, at the same time I say yes. He looks at me strangely. “If you name this child Gertrude, I’m getting a divorce.” He jokes.

  I shake my head. “Charlotte Heather Rivers.”

  Both Heather and Holden stop breathing. It only takes half a second before his eyes are filled with tears. The nurse looks around, confused, but I can’t look away from my husband.

  “Y-you’re naming her after both of my mothers?”

  I nod slowly. “Is that okay?”

  “It’s more than okay.” He comes over and grabs my face, kissing me in a way that displays every single one of his emotions.

  When he’s done, I look over at Heather to find she’s crying just as much as Holden is. I chuckle and try to keep myself from tearing up, but it’s no use. Even Dan is having trouble holding in his feelings.

  “Are you alright?” I questi
on.

  She keeps her hand over her mouth and sobs. “Thank you so much.”

  I shake my head. “No, thank you. What you did for Holden after his parents passed away, it’s something that can never be shown enough gratitude. You more than deserve this and if I can be even half the mother you are, I’ll be happy. I hope she grows up to be just like you.”

  Heather is overwhelmed by the sentiment and comes over to give me a hug, squeezing me as tightly as she can without causing pain. The nurse writes the name and address onto the paper, and excuses herself from the sob-fest that my room has turned into. Once she’s gone, Holden climbs into bed next to me and pulls me close. I lean my head against his chest and sigh happily.

  “I was thinking we could call her Charlie for short.”

  Epilogue

  Three Years Later

  Iwalk across the sand toward my husband. He’s sitting on the beach, watching as Charlie chases the seagulls. As soon as I get close enough, I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. He’s startled for a minute but then smiles.

  “There you are.” He says happily.

  I move around to sit next to him. As soon as Charlie sees me, she comes running back to us.

  “Mommy!” She yells, jumping into my lap and covering me with sand. “I scared all the birdies away.”

  “I see that, baby. Are you having fun?”

  “Yes! I love the beach! Can we move here?”

  I wipe her dirty blonde hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. “Maybe someday. For now, we have to stay where we are for daddy’s work.”

  She giggles sweetly. “Daddy plays hockey. That’s not work. Work is boring.”

  He laughs and reaches over to grab her. As soon as she’s on his lap, he tickles her. She twists and turns in his arms until he stops. Once he does, she kisses his cheek and goes back to running around.

  “I will always wonder where she gets all her energy from.” He remarks.

  I hum. “She took it from me while I was pregnant and stored it all away for later.”

  “Sounds accurate.”

  Looking out at the ocean, I think about how far we’ve all come.