by D. J. McCune
Adam’s heart accelerated slightly. What does she know? Had Auntie Jo managed to put two and two together? Had she somehow figured out that he had returned to the Realm of the Fates? Did she suspect Darian of some kind of mischief making? What was he going to do? Deny everything or come clean and blurt the whole truth out?
Auntie Jo smiled, then winced and clutched her head as though she were trying to hold it in place. ‘You needn’t look so frightened. It’s perfectly normal at your age to be thinking about these things.’
Now Adam was confused. ‘Yeah, I guess. Only … what things do you mean?’
Auntie Jo snorted. ‘It’s fine if you’re not ready to tell us who she is. Just rest assured, whatever might have happened in the past the Mortson name is as proud as ever. Whoever she is, she’ll be lucky to have you. When you’re ready just have a quick word with your father and he’ll start arranging a meeting. Of course it’s unusual for a younger brother to go down this road before an older, Marked brother – but not totally unheard of. You’ll be fine. Forget everything I said last night.’ She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go back to bed and die quietly.’
Adam blinked and stared at her bedroom door as it swung closed, his brain trying to process what he’d just heard. Finally a slow grin spread across his face. She thinks I’ve picked a wife! He put a hand over his mouth, trying to hold back a snort of laughter as he scuttled downstairs to the kitchen. This was perfect. For a moment he’d thought she’d figured out the truth or at least part of it. Now he was off the hook.
He was still chuckling as he headed for the bus stop. He’d got away with his interrogation and now he had a cast-iron excuse for snooping into family history. Adam had a feeling it was going to be a good day.
It wasn’t just a good day; it was an awesome week. For once everything seemed to be going Adam’s way. As he wandered the corridors at school there was just a hint of a swagger in his step. It was like somebody somewhere was watching out for him.
The number of sudden deaths had plummeted to lower levels than ever before. Nathanial and Aron spent a day catching up on sleep, then spent the rest of the week bemused but happy. There was something about Nathanial’s presence at home that cast an aura of calm across the whole household. Adam had never realised before how much they all relied on his father to soothe frayed tempers and keep the peace. Auntie Jo even cut back on the whisky for a few days, possibly because of the legendary hangover she’d had after Uncle Paddy’s visit.
Nathanial’s presence at home had another bonus effect: making it harder for Luc to slip off unobserved. Adam had worried about going to school and leaving his brother unguarded, even though for now he should be safe. If Morta was waiting for the rogue to strike she would be waiting a long time. Adam was determined not to do anything stupid for the time being which meant Luc was probably safe enough – but it helped having more people at home to look out for any unusual visitors. Tall, gorgeous, crazy, knife-wielding brunettes were at the top of the list …
As a bonus, Melissa had almost finished her coursework. Adam still hadn’t seen it but Melissa bubbled with excitement every time she talked about it. Ms Havens loved it and thought it could be entered for competitions after it had been submitted for moderation. She’d even hinted that the mystery guest – some kind of artist – would love it too. The visit was scheduled for the art show at the end of the following week.
Adam was torn between bursting with pride and nervous terror. What if he was butt naked in the picture? What if it ended up winning something and getting plastered all over the news for his family to see? And even worse: what if it was a true likeness and ended up on the web for Spike’s facial recognition software to find and identify? Thinking about this gave him a sweaty half-hour of panic until he reasoned that a painting didn’t exactly count as evidence of being present at a crime scene. He took some deep, calming breaths and pushed such negative thoughts from his mind. Things were going his way. He might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
His friends were in a good mood too. On Friday they got a rare chance to hang out in class time. Their whole year group was dragged off timetable and called to the assembly hall for a careers guidance session. Their form teachers had cunningly failed to mention this, knowing that some people wouldn’t have bothered getting out of bed that morning.
Adam spent a hurried ten minutes with Melissa in a dark corner of the art store before scuttling off to join his friends in the assembly hall, still wiping lipgloss off with the back of his hand. Since he’d started going out with Melissa his lips had never felt so supple – a combination of friction and her various pots of goop getting transferred onto him. He was still grinning when he joined Dan and Archie. ‘Where’s Spike? Don’t tell me he managed to get out of this?’
Dan was rooting through a plastic bag of yoghurt-coated nuts and dried fruit, picking out the raisins so he could flick them at people during dull moments. ‘He had a breaktime detention. Something about pointing out that Mr Rooney had added twelve and fifteen together and got thirty.’
Adam rolled his eyes. Rooney was a joke. He glanced round the hall, waiting to see Melissa sneak in late so he could grin at her, when to his dismay he saw a familiar figure. ‘Oh no. It’s Mrs Gollum. She’s taking us today.’
There was a collective groan and a chorus of muttered complaints, quickly picked up by other tables. Mrs Goldrum was sent out from the Careers Service into local schools. Unfortunately for her she resembled Gollum from the Lord of the Rings films, earning her the nickname Bride of Gollum – or Mrs Gollum for short. She was painfully thin with straggling hair, greyish skin and large sweat patches beneath her arms. Before and after any talk she could be found in her car in the car park chain-smoking hand-rolled cigarettes. She was pretty well-intentioned but she was possibly the most boring speaker ever to tread the polished floors of the various schools in her area.
Mrs Gollum had all the authority of a tadpole so it was no surprise when The Bulb stalked into the assembly hall, looking very much like a man who wanted to wrestle someone to the floor and gouge their eyes out. ‘Settle down!’ he bellowed and quiet was miraculously restored, broken only by a few nervous titters. Having paraded through the school in high heels a few weeks earlier, The Bulb was a man with a mission: to restore terror into the hearts of everyone he came across. ‘Mrs Goldrum will be speaking to you for a few minutes and then you have to fill out the forms she’s left on your tables. Not a sound!’
Adam heard as far as ‘Thank you, Mr Bulber’ before tuning out every word Mrs Gollum was saying. Judging by the vacant expressions of everyone around him he wasn’t alone in this. Only Archie was staring at her with an expression of profound concentration which baffled Adam until his friend picked up his pencil and started sketching on the back of his Career Assessment Test. A minute later he slid it across the table and Adam only just gulped back a snort of laughter at the sight of Mrs Gollum hunched on a rock with a fish in one hand and her careers manual in the other.
Eventually movement rippled through the hall Mexican-wave style. The talk was over and they were free to answer the questions on the sheets in front of them. If Adam had hoped these would be exciting he was going to be disappointed. He studied them and imagined writing honest answers:
1. Are you cool under pressure?
Not when guiding the dead or dodging giant tornado-shaped predators in the Hinterland.
2. Are you creative?
Creative with the truth.
3. Are you a risk-taker?
You could say that …
Dan gave a heavy sigh. ‘You know school is so crap that I spend my whole life waiting to get out of here so I can get a job, some money, an amazing flat and a fast car. And then they give you a sheet like this and try to make you think the rest of your life is going to be this boring too.’
Archie yawned and added the words My preciousssssss to Mrs Gollum’s careers manual. ‘I already know what I wa
nt to do. I want to draw cool stuff and get paid loads of money for it. Does that mean I can go back to art?’
Adam grinned, then realised Mrs Gollum was bearing down on them. ‘Just tick some boxes,’ he hissed. Conscious of The Bulb’s louring presence in the hall, Dan and Archie did some rapid scribbling.
Mrs Gollum appeared, wafting in a gentle cloud of violet perfume and stale cigarette smoke. ‘Now, boys, how are we getting on here?’ She took their sheets and pored over them, frowning slightly. ‘Now, which of you is Dan? Ah, now Daniel, your answers are rather inconsistent. You see, here you have ticked that you are good with your hands but here you have ticked that you are clumsy. Which is it dear? What do you want to do when you leave school?’
‘Be a dentist,’ Dan answered stolidly.
‘Dark Lord & Son Dentistry. Your pain is our gain,’ Archie muttered, sniggering to himself. His expression changed to one of alarm as he realised Mrs Gollum was about to turn over the page and discover her less than flattering portrait. ‘No miss! Don’t look at that! Look at my sheet! What should I do?’
Mrs Gollum was delighted to be asked for an opinion. She beamed at Archie and scrutinised his questionnaire. Her smile faded a little as she took in his answers. ‘Well, I have to say these are a rather … unusual set of skills.’ She shuddered and handed back the sheet.
Archie shrugged. ‘I’ll find my niche.’
Mrs Gollum was reading Adam’s sheet now with an expression of profound relief. ‘Well, this one seems much better. You want to be a doctor. Excellent, Adam!’ Her brow furrowed. ‘Although it does say here that you don’t do well with blood.’
‘My own blood, that is. I’m fine with other people’s,’ Adam said without thinking. ‘Most of the time anyway.’
Mrs Gollum blinked. ‘Do you see a lot of people bleeding, Adam?’ She hesitated, chewing on the end of her pen. ‘Do you enjoy seeing people bleed?’ As Adam struggled to find some way of explaining what he meant she gave a very forced smile and said, ‘Not to worry, dear,’ before scribbling something on her clipboard. She seemed to be underlining it a lot.
It was at that moment that Spike finally made an appearance. ‘Sorry I’m late.’
Mrs Gollum frowned. ‘Well you’ve missed out on the careers questionnaire now.’
Spike appeared unruffled. ‘Don’t worry. I know what I’m going to do.’
‘Really? And what’s that?’
‘I’m going to be Batman.’
A long silence followed this pronouncement. Mrs Gollum frowned. ‘I mean a proper job dear. Let’s not be silly.’
There was a collective hiss of indrawn breaths around the table before everyone looked at Spike. Adam winced. Spike made a point of not being bothered by name-calling – but calling him stupid, silly or anything similar was like a red rag to a bull.
Sure enough, Spike’s eyes had narrowed to slits. His mouth was a tight, twisted line in his face. Adam braced himself, feeling sorry for Mrs Gollum. She didn’t mean to be an idiot, she just couldn’t help it. Now Spike was going to give her a verbal flaying that would leave her in pieces and Spike in big trouble.
However, after a pregnant pause Spike surprised them all. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth. He repeated this several times while the rest of them watched him in bemusement, not excluding Mrs Gollum. At last his eyes snapped open and he gave the teacher a level gaze. ‘It’s not silly miss. It’s an excellent idea. Being Batman.’
Mrs Gollum seemed to be torn between irritation and fascination. Maybe she thought she had another dangerous lunatic on her hands. She stood with her pen poised over her clipboard, quivering with nervous tension. ‘But dear, he’s not real, is he? It’s not a real job. We’d all like to be a superhero sometimes but alas, most of us end up doing something rather more prosaic, don’t we?’ She gave a titter of laughter.
Spike’s expression was one of superhuman calm. ‘He isn’t a superhero, or at least not in the conventional sense. There were no radioactive bites or space rocks involved. I prefer to think of him as a self-made man.’
Mrs Gollum cleared her throat. ‘I’m not really sure what you mean –’
‘Batman was just really rich and then he used his money to become Batman. It’s basic economics. He had the money to invent cool stuff and learn his ninja moves. So, I’m going to be a hacker first to get the money and then I’m going to use it to become Batman. Only not Batman obviously because he’s old school. Maybe Eagleman or Cobraman.’
‘You could be Porcupine Man,’ Dan said helpfully. ‘You know, going with the Spike thing? Spiky? Porcupines?’
‘Yeah, don’t be Cobraman. Too much Lycra. I can sketch you a few costume ideas,’ Archie said with a totally deadpan expression.
Adam bit his lip to stop himself grinning. Mrs Gollum was looking from face to face, uncertain how best to proceed. Eventually she decided to cut and run. ‘Well, there are some very interesting ideas at this table boys. You all seem to have your future careers in hand. I don’t think you need me any further.’
They didn’t laugh until she was a safe distance away. Dan grinned at Spike. ‘That was brilliant. I wish I’d said that. Anyway, what does she know? Why would you have to be good with your hands to be a dentist?’
Adam raised an eyebrow but said nothing, fervently praying that he would never have to let Dan anywhere near his teeth. He turned his attention to Spike. ‘You didn’t flip when she said you were silly. I’m impressed.’
Spike shrugged. ‘I meditated. It’s what Batman would do. Mindfulness. Zen. I’ve been reading up on all that stuff. If it’s good enough for Batman it’s good enough for me.’
Archie snorted. ‘Yeah, whatever. Where were you? How come you got out of the first bit?’
Spike smirked. ‘I was busy. I had more interesting things to do.’
‘Did the Beast make contact?’ Dan was twitching with a mixture of eagerness and terror. ‘Is he still searching for the Wonderfish?’
‘Yeah, he’s still invested.’ Spike narrowed his eyes. ‘So I sent some gushy emails – I weally, weally wuvs you I do blah blah blah – and then I told him no more naked-ass pictures. I mean I thought about getting a few extras and plastering them round the toilets but he’s such a freak he’d probably be happy about it.’
‘Well he is pretty buff,’ Dan said wistfully. His eyes widened as the other three turned and stared. ‘What? He is! He’s still a psycho but he must go to the gym every night. If I looked like that I wouldn’t bother wearing clothes. Well, maybe some pants. But that’s all.’
Spike shuddered. ‘Forget about the Beast. He’s a footnote. The real reason I was late was because of something much more important.’ He waited till he had their complete attention, then lowered his voice dramatically. ‘I was making contact with my source. My CIA guy.’
‘I thought he’d vanished?’ Archie stopped drawing and put down his pen, a sign that he was giving this his complete attention.
Spike rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, he’d gone to ground for a couple of weeks. He reckoned something was coming to get him. As in, something from the stars. I’m pretty careful myself but this guy has turned paranoia into an art form.’
Dan flicked a yoghurt raisin at a neighbouring table and grinned at the hissed chorus of rage from the girls sitting there. ‘He sounds like one of those tinfoil-hat types. I saw a programme about them. They’re all like, “Help! They’re coming to take me back to the mothership! Save me!” I mean, seriously, if you think a tinfoil hat stops aliens stealing your thoughts, the real question is: why would the aliens want you?’
Adam was watching Spike and holding his breath, desperate to hear what he said next. He tried to sound only casually interested. ‘And what did he say? I mean, apart from the alien stuff?’
Spike whipped out his portable hard drive. ‘Oh, nothing much. Only that he’s sending me his facial recognition software tonight.’ He grinned at them. ‘And luckily I’ll have a whole weekend
to play around with it. By Sunday night I’ll have it crawling the internet for our mystery bomber and his mate.’
Adam stared at him, hoping that the colour wasn’t draining from his face. ‘Do you think you’ll find anything?’
‘Dunno. It’ll probably take a while. I’m going to put in a few faces I know to test it out. Then I’ll let it loose on the web. See what it comes up with.’
Dan looked sceptical. ‘I know you’re going to be Porcupine Man one day but seriously, why do you think you’re going to have more luck than the police?’
Spike smiled coldly. ‘Because unlike the police I don’t quit. Batman always gets his guy – and I will too.’
Adam swallowed hard. Things had gone his way all week. Somehow he felt like his luck was running out.
Chapter 18
Over the weekend Adam should have been relaxing. He knew his classmates would be having long lie-ins, demanding breakfast, playing computer games and hanging out with friends. He tried to imagine what it would be like if this was his life. Instead he was on guard duty, watching over one of the most slippery characters in London – namely his brother Luc.
Adam didn’t believe that Morta would strike just yet. Yes, she may have had Luc in her sights and Adam was going to have to come up with some way of distracting her. For now though the sudden deaths were staying low, which meant she was giving Darian time to snoop. Adam still felt a pang of guilt at not saving people but it was way too dangerous. It was bad enough risking the wrath of the Concilium on his own, never mind risking his whole family because a Curator had a grudge against his father.
Still, Adam couldn’t help worrying that Luc would do something stupid. It didn’t help that his brother was still besotted with the Fate. Saturday was wet and cold and Luc obviously had nothing better to do than stay at home for the afternoon. Nathanial and Aron were taking it in turns to do the handful of call-outs, leaving Luc free to mooch into the den, where Auntie Jo and Adam were watching Zombies vs Hitchhikers. Auntie Jo was already getting stuck into the whisky. Adam and Luc exchanged glances. It was an early start even by her standards. ‘Having a private party, are you?’ Luc said from beneath a raised eyebrow.