Long-Lost Mom

by Jill Shalvis

  “Cindy.” It was as if she’d forgotten her name, which was ridiculous of course. Finally he reached across the table and removed her sunglasses, smiling when she seemed to nearly leap out of her skin. “You okay?”

  She blinked and flushed. “Your daughter’s remarkable.”

  “Yes, and expensive,” Stone said dryly, hoping to tease her out of whatever had disturbed her.

  “She’s worth it.”

  Her eyes were very dark, almost black, their rims reddened. “Are you a mom?”

  “I...no.” Shaking her head, she said more firmly, “No. I’m not.”

  The crazy urge to wrap his arms around her was strong, but it was far too soon for that. She didn’t wear a ring, although he knew that was no guarantee she was single. “Is there...someone...?” Lord, he felt awkward. He’d been off the dating track too long.

  “There’s no one,” she said softly, staring at her hands as if they held the greatest interest

  “Me, either,” he said, smiling when she shot him a look of profound relief. “And you have plenty of time left to have a child when you’re ready.”

  Her smile turned rueful. “Am I that obvious?”

  “Not at all. I just saw a flash of longing... Well, it takes a parent to recognize it.”

  “You make a great father. I mean—” clearly embarrassed, she clenched her fingers together on the table “—you must be so proud.”

  He was, but he refused to get caught in the easy trap of light conversation. Not when he was brimming with curiosity he couldn’t seem to ignore. “So, what is it that brings you to San Paso Bay?”

  Again a quick flash of unease, almost fear, crossed her face. “I’m going to start a temp agency.”

  Automatically reacting to her fear, Stone’s gaze scanned the crowd until he found Sara, safely playing, then he gave his attention back to Cindy. “In this little town?”

  She lifted her chin, looking touchingly haughty and uncertain at the same time. “You don’t have one yet, you know. And neither Morro Heights nor El Tara, the two neighboring towns, have one, either. Which means there’s plenty of business.”

  She spoke as if she had to convince him. “Okay.”

  “I’ve researched carefully, and all three towns have plenty of growing industry. Actually the want ads are overwhelming. There’s enough to keep me busy.”

  “I think it sounds good.”

  “You do?”

  He had no idea why that slight wobble in her voice so touched him. “You’ll do great.”

  “I want to settle here—permanently.”

  “It’s a nice place to live.”

  “And raise kids?”

  “Yes. Definitely. It’s a quiet safe town.”

  “So safe you have to warn your daughter to stay in sight in a pizza joint filled with people you know?”

  Damn, he hadn’t expected to be faced with his own fears, fears that went back ten years to a woman and to an event so horrifying it still dictated how he treated his daughter’s safety. “Maybe I’m just an overprotective parent.”

  She gave him a long look. “The sad fact is, no town is completely safe.” Her weary tone said she knew that all too well. Her hands, active only a moment before, settled on the table. “There’s always trouble,” she said quietly. “And it can happen anywhere.”

  Of course it was true, and how well he knew it. Even in San Paso Bay, bad things happened. It’d been a while since he’d dwelled on the scandal that had nearly destroyed him, that had driven the only woman he’d ever loved right out of his life. The circumstances had been out of their control, a cruelty from a most unexpected place, but it had happened and nothing could change it.

  Jenna was long gone now. She’d not had enough belief in justice to see the crisis through. That, combined with the problem of getting pregnant too young, had made her fall apart.

  Stone didn’t blame her for getting pregnant or even for the need to run. But he did blame her for not trusting him or herself enough to let their love prevail.

  “I think it depends on your attitude,” he said carefully, “and how hard you try. If you’re looking for a new start, this is a great place to do it. Do you have family?”

  She dropped her gaze, studied the tabletop. “Family?”

  “As in people related to you?”

  “Not really.”

  “You’re so talkative,” he said, grinning.

  She looked at him, startled, and finally seemed to realize he was teasing her. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “Okay, let me rephrase that,” she offered. “Yes, technically I have family. But we don’t act like family. Does that clear things up?”

  If she’d asked him the same thing, his answer wouldn’t have been much different. Yes, he had family. But they didn’t want to be part of his life.

  Simple as that.

  “Clear as mud,” he said. “Where do you come from?”

  She crossed her arms. Then, as if realizing what that gave away, she uncrossed them, making him smile sympathetically. She frowned at him in response. “You’re full of questions. And I don’t like to talk about myself.”

  Maybe she’d been alone all her life, which would account for the way she protected herself. By keeping people at bay, she couldn’t get hurt.

  He understood the philosophy. At one time, deserted by everyone he’d ever cared about, he might have gone down that same path. He hadn’t, partly because he was an innate people person. But mostly, despite what had happened to him, he believed people were basically good.

  Maybe Cindy hadn’t learned that, and at the thought of someone hurting her, his chest tightened. He wanted her; he had from the first moment he’d seen her. But now that wanting changed, deepened into something else. Something sharper and more defined.

  He wanted to protect her, and the fierceness of this desire was startling. Oh, he’d wanted women before, lots of them; it was just that never, since Jenna, had he felt it quite so piercingly. He didn’t stop to think about the significance of that; he simply absorbed it with his usual acceptance of change.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.

  “Like what?”

  “Like...you care.”

  They stared at each other. “Because I do,” Stone finally said. “I look at you and I feel... something. I didn’t like it at first, which is why I took off on you at the beach. But now—now it makes me want to keep caring.”

  Her mouth opened, then slowly closed. “You’re scaring me.”

  “Well, that makes two of us,” he said.

  Chapter 3

  “I don’t want this,” Cindy told him, shifting nervously. “I don’t want you to think I matter.”

  “But you do matter.”

  “I don’t...I shouldn’t,” she said, sounding a bit desperate.

  “Of course you should.”

  She stared at him, soaking it in. A disparaging sound escaped her. “Stone...”

  He loved the sound of his name of her lips. Loved it, and wanted to hear it again. “What?”

  “What am I doing?” She looked lost, confused. “I just came to watch a basketball game. Just wanted to acclimate myself, and now look at me.” She lifted a bewildered hand. “I’m...”

  “You’re what?”

  “I’m doing something I shouldn’t, that’s what.”

  “Which is?”

  “Wanting you.” As soon as the words left her, she slapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide and wild. She shook her head violently, as if denying what she’d just admitted. “I didn’t mean... I just meant... I’ve got to go.” She leaped to her feet. “I... Bye.”

  Stone caught her just before she would have disappeared into the crowd. “Don’t.”

  Her chest rose and fell as if she’d just raced a mile uphill. She glanced down at his hand on her, which he slowly ran down her forearm until their hands met. Hers was slender, delicate, easily swallowed up by his. Entwining their fingers, he squeezed gently. “I di
dn’t mean to scare you off. You came here to start over, and you’re doing fine. Don’t go yet.”

  Her gaze jerked to his. “I never said I was starting over.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “Well, yes, but—”

  “And now we’ve met and you’re nervous. It’s sweet,” he said, smiling when she blushed. “But you’ll be okay. I know it seems unreal, but you’re not alone. Already you’re not alone.”

  She stared at him with something akin to marvel. Again, just looking at her tugged at his heart, made him want to take her in his arms and never let go.

  Which made no sense, none at all.

  A waitress tried to move past them. Stone sat and pulled Cindy back down, this time in the same side of the booth as him. Their thighs brushed, and he felt his body react at just that innocent touch.

  “I’d be okay alone, you know,” she said, not sounding nearly as confident as she clearly wanted to. She was nervous and frightened, a combination Stone could never fully resist because he knew well what it felt like.

  “I’m used to it,” she added.

  “Yeah. You’re fine.” He smiled. “You’re going to be okay. But you don’t have to be alone.”

  “I don’t know what to say to you.”

  “Say nothing.” He ran a thumb over her knuckles, enjoying the softness of her skin. “Just know I’m here if you need me and you’re going to do great.”

  “I am.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s not going to be nearly as hard as it sounds.” Some of her enthusiasm came back. “I’ve had a lot of experience. I’ve worked temp jobs for years. It was a great way to travel and still have money. And I did some college at night, took some business classes. Plus, my initial investment is minimal and—”

  “Cindy.”

  “It only takes a small office and some know-how—”

  “Cindy—”

  “So I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

  “I’m sure, too.” He narrowed his eyes, taking in the strain so evident on her pale face. “Hey... are you okay?”

  “I...” A puff of air escaped her as she deflated. She set her forehead on the table. “I’m fine. Feeling stupid, but other than that, just fine.”

  “Stupid?”

  Pulling her hand free, she shot him a sheepish smile. “I don’t often unload on strangers, then admit to...well, you know.”

  He grinned. “Wanting me?”

  “Yes, that,” she said, rolling her eyes and looking away as a flush crept up her cheeks.

  “Then, thank you.”

  She gave a surprised little laugh. “I’m not sure what overcame me, telling a stranger...”

  “I’m not a stranger anymore, not really.” He hesitated, wondering why he wanted her so much. It increased every time their gazes met, every second he spent with her. “Strange as it sounds, I never felt like we were strangers at all.”

  She went still. “We should order the pizza. Now.” Managing a weak smile, she held up the menu.

  Stone took it from her. “So, you want it all?”

  Her bravado faltered. “Excuse me?”

  He grinned. “On your pizza. You want everything on it.

  A smile curved her lips then, the first genuine one he’d seen, and man, it was a stunner. It made it easy to throttle back and enjoy the evening, for although he hadn’t planned on becoming interested in a woman he suspected was chock-full of secrets and surprises, he also didn’t want to turn and walk away.

  “Yes, everything,” she said, amusement in her eyes. “On the pizza, that is.”

  And in that moment Stone knew that he wanted this woman in his life. It wasn’t wise, or even practical, because she wasn’t like his usual “safe” pick—a woman he couldn’t possibly fall for.

  Truth was, for the first time ever he just might have found a woman to make him forget Jenna once and for all.

  Several days went by before Jenna felt settled enough to face the task she’d been putting off since she’d arrived back in San Paso Bay.

  Leaving her old life had not been much of a problem. For ten years she’d avoided emotional attachments like the plague because she hadn’t been able to trust anyone. No way would she risk her heart ever again, although now that vow made her angry at herself. She’d wasted so much time.

  No longer.

  Given the ridiculously huge amount she’d been awarded in her settlement, she didn’t have to work again a day in her life unless she wanted to—which she did. It had become vital to her mental health that she completely change her lifestyle. Not only did she want to face her past, but she wanted to settle here and earn her way.

  And more than anything, she wanted Sara back in her life. She’d be lying if she didn’t also admit she wanted Stone in that life, as well, but just remembering what she’d blurted out at dinner had her face heating in mortification all over again.

  She knew she couldn’t tell him who she was—not yet. Not until he knew she’d changed, that she was indeed a good person, though she herself was still working on really believing that.

  While recuperating from that first meeting with her daughter and the man she’d never forgotten, Jenna enjoyed the wonderful cozy new house she’d purchased. It was on top of a hill overlooking the bay. Far below she could hear the ocean roar, watch the sun set on the water. It was a place that had represented happiness to her when she’d been a girl on the other side of the tracks, and it was still a comfy old elegant neighborhood.

  While getting her life together, she planned to slowly furnish and decorate the house in hopes that someday Sara would want to visit her regularly, or even live with her part of the time—although Jenna was almost afraid to have hopes for that far in the future.

  Today was the first day of the rest of her life, she decided. And to prove it, she was going to call her sister. Then she would go to the office she’d leased and set up her business, which she’d rented because it was in the same industrial park as Stone’s workshop.

  Before she could lose her nerve, Jenna picked up the phone and dialed the number the detective had given her, her pulse beating hard in her ears.

  Her palms went sweaty. Her stomach hurt.

  By the time she heard the soft-spoken hello, Jenna’s heart was pounding so loudly she almost couldn’t hear herself think.

  “Hello?” Kristen repeated, clearly annoyed. “Is anyone there?”

  “Hello, Kristen. It’s me...Jenna.”

  “Jenna?” She heard the audible click of a breath being caught. “Really? Jenna? Oh, my God—” Kristen broke off so abruptly it was as if she’d covered her mouth to hold all noise in.

  Jenna squeezed her eyes shut as pain sliced through her. She’d known, hadn’t she? She’d known she wouldn’t be welcomed back with open arms.

  Two years older than she, Kristen had run in a completely separate circle. They’d never been close, mostly, Jenna realized now, because she had done everything in her power to push her perfect older sister away so that she could wallow in self-pity—self-pity over never being able to please her mother.

  Jenna truly regretted that now, for Kristen could have been an ally in those terrible times, but it was too late. Far too late. Kristen didn’t want to talk to her.

  “I’m sorry,” Jenna whispered. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, about how things used to be.” She couldn’t even hear Kristen breathing. “I... I remember telling you I hated you.” The shame nearly killed her, but she had to say it quickly before Kristen hung up. Even if they never spoke again, Jenna had to get it out. “I didn’t mean it, Kristen, I didn’t. It’s just that I was so angry... I took it out on you.”

  A pained sound came over the phone.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Jenna said, closing her eyes. “I never meant to.”

  Another indescribable sound. A muffled sob?

  Jenna’s throat burned. Her eyes stung, and dammit, she shouldn’t have put in her contact lenses, should have wo
rn the thick glasses she kept in her purse for emergencies. “I shouldn’t have called—”

  “No,” Kristen finally managed. She gulped, sniffed and then gulped again.

  Her sister was crying. Damn, she was no good at this. “Kristen.” What else could she say? What? “Please, oh, please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Jenna.” Kristen sniffed and sighed. “Oh, honey, I’m glad it’s you. I’ve been wanting...” She drew a ragged breath. “I’ve been hoping you’d call me someday.”

  Jenna’s head swam as spots of relief blurred her vision. “You’re...glad? You’re sure? I thought at first, when you didn’t say anything... I nearly hung up, I’m so nervous.”

  “No, oh, no,” Kristen said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel... God. I’m just so relieved, so happy, I couldn’t talk for a minute.” Apparently she no longer had that problem. “Where have you been, Jenna?” Kristen’s voice gained momentum as she regained her power of speech, though she still spoke in a tear-filled shaky voice. “And why haven’t you called before? I’ve been looking for you. For years. Years.”

  “You have?”

  “Yes. Say something else, just so I know I’m not dreaming.”

  The fist around Jenna’s heart loosened. “You sound the same. Perfect.”

  “You don’t sound the same at all.”

  Jenna would never sound the same again, thanks to the accident, but she didn’t want to talk about that now. “You’re sure? You’re really glad I called?”

  “Yes! Where are you? Don’t you dare hang up until you tell me, okay? Please, Jenna, let me see you.”

  Jenna hesitated, not because she didn’t want to see her sister, but because she was so stunned.

  “Jenna! You are going to let me see you?”

  Jenna opened her mouth, uncertain how to prepare her sister.

  Kristen started to cry. “Please?”

  “Kristen,” Jenna whispered, blinking hard as her sister’s soft sobs sounded in her ears. “Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. Oh, God, I’m sorry.”