by Jill Shalvis
“I can promise I feel something for you,” he said slowly, stroking her back, his voice rumbly and deep against her ear. “I can’t imagine that changing.”
She closed her eyes, breathing in his wonderful scent, and wished with all her heart she didn’t have to do this.
“Tell me, Cindy.”
“For starters,” she said, lifting her head and straightening away from him to see his face. “That’s not my real name.”
He shifted, his shirt stretching over bunching muscles. His voice was carefully patient, as though he refused to jump to conclusion. “You mean it’s short for something?”
This was so desperately hard. “No. I mean Cindy isn’t my name at all.”
Silence. He didn’t move a muscle. Then, very quietly, “What?”
“I’m not...Cindy.” She grimaced. “Much as I spent most of my life wishing I was.”
“Then who are you?”
“That’s the...tricky part.”
“I see.” His eyes narrowed speculatively. “Now I understand why you don’t always answer to your name.”
Her face felt hot. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Why don’t you tell me the rest of it before you go apologizing for something I don’t understand?”
“All right.” She stood, and swiped her wet palms down her pants. Lifting her hands to her eyes, she prepared to remove the dark contacts, wanting Stone to see the real her.
The doorbell rang.
Stone swore and Jenna froze. “No,” she whispered. “Not again. Fate really has it in for me.”
“Tell me,” he said. “Just tell me.”
Jenna stared at him, unable to believe they were going to be interrupted again. It was just too much. “But the door—”
“It’s a salesman.”
“At eight o’clock at night?” Jenna shook her head, frustration so strong she nearly choked on it. Truly unbelievable! “Stone, you’ve got to get it.”
“Fine.” With one lithe motion he rolled to his feet. Looming over her, he looked powerful. Intense. And very annoyed. Unconsciously she stepped back from him.
Jaw tight, Stone reached out and touched her, just a light brush on her shoulder, but it was enough to remind her that his superior strength would never be used against her.
“Don’t forget where we were,” he demanded softly, reminding her that she wasn’t done here tonight, not by a long shot.
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
The bell rang again, a harsh ugly sound echoing in the room.
With a choice expletive, Stone moved toward the door, equal parts anger and frustration making his movements jerky. He nearly tore the hinges off the door as he yanked it open, and then he went still.
From her perch near the couch, all Jenna could see was his broad shoulders blocking the opening. She heard him murmur something in a surprised voice and a woman murmur in return.
Then Stone stepped back, his face pale. Jenna realized why when his mother, Lara Cameron, stepped over the threshold.
The woman had once hated Jenna with all her might, which made it more than mildly disconcerting to have her smile politely at her. Without any sign of recognition.
Looking shocked to his toes, Stone started to introduce his mother, but stopped suddenly and flashed Jenna a disarming but decidedly shaky grin. “Would you like to tell my mother your name, since at the moment I don’t seem to actually know it?”
Jenna’s mouth opened, but all that came out was a short desperate laugh. “Cindy will do for now,” she managed, covering her mouth.
“Nice to meet you,” Lara said formally, gripping her purse close as she made an obvious attempt to remain polite and true to her status. But her gaze kept falling back to her son, wonder and regret filling her eyes.
It was a big moment for Stone. Having stood between them once, Jenna had hoped never to do so again. “I’d better go,” she said quietly, her throat tight with the need to scream in frustration. Surely this was Fate’s idea of a joke, interrupting them continually before she could tell Stone the truth.
“No,” Stone said. “Wait.”
Jenna walked to the door.
“Cindy.”
God, that name! Tears filled her vision, her hands clenched tight. She had no choice, no choice at all, but it was going to drive her crazy. She moved faster, stepping around his mother without meeting her eyes.
“Just wait, dammit.” Stone stopped her, his voice low, urgent. “We were in the middle of something important. You wanted to tell me—”
“It’s not as important as this,” she said, even though with all her heart she wished it could be.
“Thank you,” Lara said. “You’re right, this is very important. I’ve waited too long as it is.”
But Stone was having none of it. “That you’ve waited at all is not my fault,” he told his mother, “nor at the moment, my problem. This,” he told Jenna firmly, “comes first.”
Lara pressed her lips together, but then inclined her head and said, “As you wish.”
Stone sighed, his brow deeply creased as if he had a headache. “Mother—”
“He wanted to talk to you, you know. Richard.” Lara nodded. “He wanted that more than anything.”
His face grim, Stone shook his head. “No, he didn’t.”
“It’s true,” his mother insisted.
“The hell he did,” he said in a carefully controlled voice.
With his innate courtesy gone, Jenna knew he was near the point of exploding. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let go.
“He...he didn’t because he thought he’d disappoint me. I think he was afraid to hurt me more than I’d already been hurt.” Lara shook her head. “The only problem, Stone, is that you were hurt too, more than any of us, and you were all alone. Richard realized that. He thought about you a lot, especially... recently, almost as if he’d known... He started talking about you. I think he was trying to get me to—” She broke off suddenly, covering her mouth with her fingers.
Stone looked out the window into the dark night, his eyes suspiciously bright. Jenna felt tears well up in her own eyes. Tears for a man who’d given so much and received so little. Tears for a man who wouldn’t let his own fall.
Nothing could have kept Jenna from taking his hand. He strung his fingers through hers and held tight, still staring out the window.
I love you, she wanted to tell him, the words nearly bouncing off her tongue with an ease that startled her, for she’d never, ever, said them before.
He whipped his head around to face her, and for a horrified second, Jenna feared she’d spoken out loud.
“Excuse us,” Stone said politely to his mother, and taking Jenna’s hand, he practically dragged her into the kitchen.
“Stone, you’re going to have to talk to her. I’m not nearly as...important”
“Don’t do that,” he said, touching her face gently and stopping her words. “You’re as important to me as she is.”
“But—”
“No buts.” He rubbed his forehead, reminding her how tired he was. “I have no way of knowing how serious she is, or if this is just a passing phase because she lost Richard. But you...yoa’re not a passing phase.”
“Stone—”
“I mean it,” he said gruffly, sinking his fingers into her hair, holding her head. “I know it hasn’t been very long—”
“Do this first,” Jenna said shakily. “Do this with her, then we’ll talk. Then, if you still mean it...” Please let him still mean it. Her voice cracked.
With a low sound of concern, Stone dipped his head and kissed her softly. “Tell me now.”
Jenna glanced at the kitchen door. “No,” she whispered. “Not like this. Not in a hurry. I can’t, I just can’t. God, Stone...I’ve been trying to tell you forever. It has to be right. And most certainly it’s not right now.”
“Okay.” He sighed and straightened. “I’ll talk to her first, but
don’t you dare leave. Promise you’ll wait this out, no matter how long it takes. That we’ll finish this once and for all.”
“I’ll wait.”
His eyes never left hers. “Promise.”
“I don’t go back on my word.”
He didn’t smile—there was too much heart-wrenching tension in them both for that—but his gaze said it all. And suddenly she wanted to hug him tight.
He beat her to it, wrapping her in his arms and rocking her against him, where they stayed for a long moment
“Oops.”
Jenna jerked out of Stone’s arms at the sound of his mother’s exclamation.
“I’m sorry,” Lara said calmly, chin up, cheeks bright. “I was just checking to see if everything was okay.”
Stone didn’t let go of Jenna. “You were appeasing your curiosity.”
Lara looked startled at his frankness, but then smiled. “Yes. Can you blame me?”
“No,” said Jenna quickly. “Of course not.”
Lara beamed at this support, although her smile turned a bit shaky when she turned to her son.
They all stood there, staring at each other with an awkwardness that deepened with every passing second.
This couldn’t get worse, Jenna assured herself. It couldn’t.
“Daddy?”
At the soft hesitant voice, Jenna closed her eyes and groaned.
Of course it could.
“Come here, Sara,” Stone said wearily. “Before you trap your nose in the door.”
The girl bounded toward them, her cheeks red, her eyes bright with excitement.
A second wind, Jenna thought dully. Sara would never get back to sleep now. “I should really go...”
“No,” Stone said. “You stay here.” Jenna pulled away but kept holding his hand.
“Grandma?”
With the obliviousness of the young, Sara ran up to Stone’s mother and threw her arms around her. “I knew you’d come, I just knew it! I told Daddy you would, but he said not to hope because he didn’t want me to be disappointed.”
Stunned, her arms hovering uncertainly in the air, Lara Cameron stared down at the dark head pressed to her middle.
Sara squeezed.
Closing her eyes with a soft exclamation of emotion, Lara wrapped her arms around the child. “Well, hello, there,” she whispered. “Oh, you feel good.”
“You do, too,” Sara said. Then she wrinkled her nose. “But you don’t smell good. Icky.”
To Jenna’s astonishment, the woman laughed.
Stone gave a little gasp, and Jenna’s heart went out to him. If she was surprised to see the woman smile and laugh, Stone must be near heart failure.
“That’s very expensive perfume, darling.” Lara tipped up Sara’s chin. “It’s an acquired taste.”
Stone shoved fingers through his already tousled hair and shot Jenna a helpless look before turning to his mother. “Why are you here?”
Lara lifted her head, her eyes as bright as her granddaughter’s. “I...” She laughed again, nervously this time. Jenna couldn’t blame her, for Stone was staring at his mother with a probing suspicious look. “I don’t know exactly,” she said finally. “I couldn’t think after the service, then at the house there were so many people, I just got in my car to take a drive.” She lifted her shoulder in a perfect echo of both Stone’s and Sara’s shrug. “And I ended up here.”
Stone didn’t relax, just regarded her with an inscrutable expression. “That’s not good enough,” he said finally.
Jenna shifted uncomfortably. “Stone—”
“Daddy!”
“No,” Laura said to her granddaughter. “He’s right, darling.” She met Stone’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Stone. I came to tell you that. I know it’s not worth much in your world, and—” she swallowed hard and hugged Sara close “—I can see why and what you’re protecting.”
“Can you?”
“Oh, yes.” She smiled down at Sara with wonder and joy. “And believe me, I understand. She’s...priceless.”
Stone let out a deep breath. “Yes, she is. And she’s ten. Ten times around the calendar without you giving a damn.”
“I gave a damn,” Lara whispered. Her gaze fell to Sara’s fascinated one. “I gave a lot of damns. But pride is a horrible thing, Stone.”
“A couple of visits and some expensive presents aren’t going to cover this one, Mother. It’s not going to be a quick fix.”
“I’m not looking for a quick fix.”
“No?” He arched a brow. “What are you looking for?”
For a minute her chin trembled, as if she was about to cry, but then she stiffened it and said bravely, “Forgiveness.”
“Because of Richard.”
“For Richard. I should have done it sooner, I know that. I shouldn’t have ignored your attempts to communicate over the years.”
Stone didn’t appear moved. “It took a long time.”
“Maybe I’m a slow learner. Maybe I had to suffer great pain first.”
At the unmistakable reference to his brother’s death, Stone relented. “I’m sorry. I’ll never stop regretting that we never spoke again. But quite honestly it doesn’t solve anything. Up until just a day ago, you were still refusing to accept my calls.”
Lara glanced down at Sara, then over at Jenna. “Would you mind terribly...?”
“Not at all,” Jenna said, relieved. “Come with me, Sara, into the living room. We’ll stoke the fire.”
“I want to stay here and listen.”
“Sara...”
At the warning in her father’s voice, Sara rolled her eyes and went with Jenna.
“I saw you hugging my daddy,” she said the instant the doors shut behind them. “I don’t want you to do that again. My mommy’s going to come home and he’s hers.”
Jenna nodded seriously, although her heart began to race. Everything she’d ever wanted was standing right in front of her, and she didn’t want to ruin it. “I’m glad your mommy is coming home. Have...” Her voice started to crack and she cleared her throat. “Have you missed her?”
“Yes.”
Jenna took a big chance and kneeling before the stubborn wonderful child of her heart, whispered, “She missed you, too. And I bet she’ll tell you that real soon.”
They were playing cards by the fire, with Jenna losing badly at a game of Go Fish, when Stone and Lara came back into the room. Looking stressed out and exhausted, Stone went directly to his daughter, pulled her close and said, “Would you like to go spend the night at your grandma and grandpa’s house?”
“Oh, boy! Really?”
“Really,” Stone told the bouncing grinning girl. “Can you be good?”
“Yep!”
Stone helped Sara pack, then walked both her and Lara to the car. Jenna sat in the kitchen, her heart pounding. By the time Stone came back in and looked at her, she thought for sure he’d be able to hear it from across the room.
She was about to lay her life and heart and soul on the line. There was nothing and no one to stop her this time, and panic nearly overwhelmed her.
“Just us.” Stone came right for her, lifted her out of the stool and against him.
He felt so good. Warm and hard and strong and capable, so very capable. How long had it been since she’d had someone like him in her life, someone she could depend on?
She knew the answer to that all too well. He’d been the last person. The one and only.
“Oh, Stone,” she whispered, clinging for just another minute. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry in advance for—”
“Just tell me, sweetheart.” Stroking her sides, her back, his big hands were everywhere.
Because she couldn’t help herself, her hands slid under his T-shirt, traveling slowly up the sleek bunched muscles of his back. Stretching beneath her roving fingers, he made a noise like a big cat on the prowl; a deep husky half-purring sound that had her body reacting in a thousand ways.
When she arched against him with a
soft needy murmur, he lowered his mouth to hers.
“Wait,” she gasped.
“Cin—” he started, only to break off with a little laugh. “Okay, you’re right. This before hormones, because I just remembered—I don’t even know your name.” Still standing, still holding her, he looked down into her face. His eyes had a suggestive gleam. “Besides, we have all night now.”
She was desperately afraid it wouldn’t take that long.
“So...tell me.”
“Okay.” But she couldn’t speak past her fear.
Gently he set his forehead to hers, then punctuated each word with a hot kiss. “Tell me why you had to lie to me. Tell me your real name.”
Swallowing hard, she barely managed to speak. “It’s Jenna.”
She felt the shock go through his body, vibrate through hers. Lifting his head, he stared at her with eyes gone cold as ice. “That’s not funny. How do you know about her?”
Before she could answer, he withdrew his arms from her and stepped back, leaving her feeling colder and more bereft than at any time in her life. “I never told you her name.”
“I know.” Her heart was racing even faster. “That’s why you have to believe me. I’m really her.” He just stared at her, frozen in disbelief. “It’s me, Stone,” she whispered. “I’m back.”
Chapter 10
Jenna licked her dry lips and forced herself to look him in the eye. “I had to—”
“No.” Shaking his head, Stone backed away another step, banging into the counter behind him. Swearing, he turned around in a slow circle before whirling on her. “Dammit, why are you saying this?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
He stared at her, furious and confused. “Your eyes, they’re different—yet the same.” He shook his head again as if clearing it. “God, I’m losing it.”
“No.” She very carefully took out her contact lenses. With a precision she didn’t feel she set them on the table, then blinked a couple of times in the harsh kitchen light. She opened her purse, fishing out her wire-rimmed prescription glasses—similar to the ones she’d worn ten years ago.
“Look at me,” she ordered softly, her eyes misting over with the glare of the light and the emotions heavy in her heart. “Really look at me.”