Long-Lost Mom

by Jill Shalvis

  “Yeah.” His eyes were warm and full of things that suddenly didn’t terrify her so much anymore. “I’m damn proud of you.”

  “Okay,” she said, clutching at him a little because she had to know this was real. “Here it goes, then. Trust and honesty. Are you sure you’re ready?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m staying forever and I want you and Sara in my life. For always.”

  His eyes glittered. “Come on,” he said suddenly, taking her hand and pulling her toward the door.

  “Where?”

  “To Sara.”

  Panic and hope warred within Jenna, and panic seemed to be winning. “But...”

  Turning back to her, Stone stared deep into her eyes. “It’s simple, and it shouldn’t have taken me so long to see it. You want her to know. She needs to know.”

  Chapter 15

  Stone tugged Jenna out of the office toward his vehicle.

  “Stone—”

  He opened the passenger side of his truck for her. “She can’t wait. She shouldn’t wait. I realized that this morning.”

  He drove with his usual intense single-mindedness, and Jenna found herself staring at his strong profile in wonder. He seemed relaxed, driving with calm skill. The strength she always sensed in him was there, an innate part of the man. But she could see beyond that strength now to what lay beneath.

  He wasn’t sure of himself at all, at least not in this circumstance, not when it came to possibly hurting Sara. But he believed that his daughter deserved to know, and that was enough for him. Never mind how difficult or painful it would be for him. He didn’t look at it that way.

  What mattered was doing the right thing by Sara.

  Same thing with allowing his parents back into his life. They’d deserted him when he’d needed them most, yet he’d done everything in his power to ensure he made Sara available to them. Because it had been the right thing to do.

  Just looking at him humbled her. He was strong and wonderful and compassionate and caring, and she knew the truth—whether or not he loved her, she loved him with every fiber of her being.

  All this time she’d been busy trying to prove her worth to him, yet that hadn’t been the answer at all. He already knew her, and he’d told her how he felt without hesitation.

  In return all he’d wanted from her was two things. One, for her to be happy in her own skin, and two, he’d asked for trust. It was terrifying.

  She glanced upward at the mirror over the passenger seat. She’d already fulfilled his first request—in spite of the flaws, she’d accepted herself.

  And she didn’t need to look at Stone again to feel that warm fuzzy burst of emotion she knew had to be love. She felt it just sitting next to him. Hell, she got it from just thinking about him.

  It was almost too much, knowing Stone and Sara were within her grasp, knowing she could have everything her heart had secretly desired, if she just believed in herself enough to take it.

  The school loomed in front of them. No panic this time, Jenna thought, not even a little bit. She and Stone got out of the truck and he reached for her hand.

  With an ease that no longer startled her, Jenna took it, squeezing his big hand with hers.

  They waited outside Sara’s classroom for the recess bell. When Jenna pressed her fingers to her nervous stomach, Stone reached for her. “It’ll work out,” he promised. “Just believe in yourself.”

  “I do.” Surprised, she looked at him. “I really do.”

  “I know.” He shot her an approving smile. “It’s nice to see.”

  But still, when the bell rang for recess and the kids poured out of classrooms, surrounding them with laughter and shouts, Jenna had to remind herself to breathe.

  With the practiced ease of a dad used to such things, Stone nabbed Sara as she ran by. Snatching her close in a quick hug, he grinned at her squeal of delight. “Thought I’d come in person to buy you a snack today,” he told her.

  Sara beamed—until she saw Jenna. But she went along willingly enough while they bought doughnuts. The three of them sat on a relatively secluded curved concrete bench beneath a cluster of trees. Stone sat in the middle, but because of the arch of the bench, Jenna and Sara faced each other, their feet practically touching. With the sun shining in her eyes, Jenna watched Sara wolf down two doughnuts and two chocolate milks down with practiced ease, and her heart swelled with love.

  “Sara,” Stone said gently, sending Jenna a quick glance of silent support, “we need to talk to you.”

  “You and Cindy?” Sara gulped down her last bite and dusted her hands off on her jeans, making Jenna smile when Stone rolled his eyes. “Why?” she demanded. “You guys getting married?”

  Jenna held her breath, meeting Stone’s gaze.

  “Or are you gonna live together?”

  Stone let out a short laugh at Sara’s words. “Well, that’s not quite it. Honey—”

  “I thought you were going to tell me about Mommy today.”

  “I am,” he said patiently. “At least I’m trying. Sara, Cindy’s name isn’t really Cindy.”

  Sara stared at Jenna. “Why not?”

  “Well, it’s complicated.”

  “Why?”

  Stone looked at Jenna. “When she was young, a bunch of bad stuff happened to her.”

  “Like what? Someone stole her report, too?”

  Stone’s smile was sad, but his gaze never left Jenna’s face. “Worse,” he said, holding the connection with such easy warmth Jenna was overcome with emotion. “Lots worse,” he added quietly. “And she went away because of it, although a part of her, the very best part, stayed here.”

  “What part?”

  “Her heart and soul.”

  Jenna swallowed hard, her love for him so strong she thought she might die of it. “Stone,” she whispered, “tell her the rest.”

  Stone reached for Sara’s hand. “Cindy’s name is Jenna, sweetheart. And Jenna is—”

  “My birth mother.”

  Both Stone and Jenna blinked at the flat grown-up term.

  “I knew it,” Sara whispered, her eyes huge and focused on Jenna. “I didn’t want to know it, but I did.”

  Jenna couldn’t keep silent. She reached for Sara’s free hand. “I’m so sorry for keeping it from you, Sara. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I think a part of me wanted to make sure you liked me first.”

  “Or maybe you wanted to make sure you liked me,” Sara responded in a tiny little voice.

  God, she looked so young, all bravado gone. Jenna shook her head. “That was never it. I knew I would love you on sight. And I did. Oh, God, I did...” Her voice hitched, caught on a sob she couldn’t contain. “I’ll never forget that first time I saw you.”

  Sara’s head whipped up. “Really?” The word was torn from her in a sudden burst, as if she didn’t want to show interest but couldn’t help herself. “I mean, I bet it was no big deal,” she said with a shrug.

  “Oh, it was a big deal all right.” Jenna smiled even as a few tears fell. She looked at Stone, who was smiling, too, with both acceptance and assurance, giving her courage. “You were this tiny little thing—” she lifted her hand from Stone’s to show Sara how big “—and you were the most precious baby I’d ever seen.”

  “And red. You were really red,” Stone added with a wide grin. “And ugly.”

  “Stone!” Jenna gasped, but Sara laughed.

  “And you squalled,” he went on, unconcerned with Jenna’s growing horror. “Holy moly, could you yell. You practically brought the hospital walls down.”

  “Stop it,” Jenna interrupted him with a laugh that helped dissolve some of her tension. She tore through her purse and pulled out the picture she’d treasured for so long. “Here. I look at this every day.”

  Stone drew in a surprised breath. “You kept it.” A wealth of emotion weighed down the words.

  “Yes,” Jenna said, meeting his gaze. “It’s my most prized possession.”

  Sara sta
red down at herself as an infant. “You...really looked at this every day?”

  “Yes.”

  After a moment she handed it back. “You left me.”

  The bell rang and Sara leaped up, but Stone stopped her with a gentle hand. “Honey, you wanted to know, and I felt you deserved that. I felt you were grown up enough to understand.”

  “I am grown up enough.”

  “I know it hurts,” he said with a tenderness that tore at Jenna. “It’s hard, it’s unfair, but everything we’re going to tell you is the truth. Don’t you want to hear all of it?”

  Around them the school bustled with life as students wound their way back to class. Sara stared at Jenna.

  “Do you love my dad?” she demanded.

  Jenna was startled at the unexpected question. Both Sara and Stone’s gazes fell on her. Silent and waiting. So easy, but she’d never ever said those words out loud to anyone, not even to Kristen.

  And yet she felt them. Oh, how she felt them.

  She glanced at Stone, saw his heart and soul open to her, vulnerable, just there for the taking, and she suddenly understood what made him hold back.

  As far as he knew, she was still unable to completely trust him, unable to allow herself to love him the way he needed to be loved.

  Taking the biggest plunge of her life, she reached out for Stone’s hand and felt him grab on without hesitation. “Yes,” she told Sara proudly through a haze of tears. “I love your dad. With all my heart.”

  Stone’s smile was dazzling, and the best reward she could have hoped for. “And you, Sara,” she said, turning to her daughter. “I love you, too, so very much.”

  “You probably have to say that,” Sara said, shrugging.

  “No.” Jenna grasped the girl’s shoulders, bending down a bit and holding on until their gazes met. “I’ve never said those words before.” She felt the resistance in the thin shoulders. “Never, Sara. I’ve saved them for you and your dad, and I’m sorry it took me so long. But I promise I’ll never stop telling you. Will you try to believe that?”

  Another shrug, but something in the girl’s eyes was different. An awareness...and hope. “I suppose,” she muttered.

  “Thank you,” Jenna said softly. “You’ve given me more than I could ever have hoped for.”

  “I gotta go back to class now.” Sara tried to look nonchalant and failed miserably. “So...are you gonna, you know, like be around?”

  “Yes,” Jenna replied. “I’ll be around. Every day of your life.” The tears she’d been trying to hold back fell freely.

  “Mom!” Mortified, Sara glanced around to see who was watching them. “You can’t cry here!”

  Jenna and Stone both burst into laughter as Jenna did her best to wipe away her tears of relief and joy. “Sorry!” But it was hopeless. She couldn’t control herself. The more she tried, the more she cried.

  “Dad!” Sara pushed Stone toward Jenna. “Do something. Make her happy. Quick!”

  Stone hugged Sara fiercely, his own eyes suspiciously bright. “She is happy, honey. And so am I. I’m so proud of you.” Sara squirmed in the tight embrace. “And I love you.”

  “Just don’t kiss me,” she begged. “Not here in front of everyone.”

  “You’re really okay with all this?” Stone pulled away to peer into her face. “You’re going back to class?”

  “Yeah.” Sara stared at Jenna as she left her father’s arms. “I’ll...see you later. Right?”

  “Right.” Jenna held her breath, didn’t dare ask for the hug she was dying for.

  Sara looked carefully over her shoulder. Coast apparently clear, she shrugged again. “You can, you know...hug me. If you want.”

  “Oh, I want,” Jenna whispered, pulling Sara close. Closing her eyes, she savored the feel of her daughter in her arms at long last. She was thin, smelled like soap and dirt and peanut butter, and she felt like the most precious bundle on earth.

  Over Sara’s head she looked at Stone. And there in his gaze, she found all the love and acceptance she could ever need.

  Sara pulled back, shot her a shy smile and ran off to make her class, leaving Jenna alone with Stone.

  “I didn’t imagine this happening here, in a schoolyard,” he murmured, reaching for her.

  Feeling his strong arms enclose her in his warmth, Jenna sighed with pleasure. “What? Telling Sara?”

  “No. Telling you I love you.” He kissed her, a light sweet kiss filled with promise. “Have I told you how wonderful you are?”

  Her heart filled, overflowed. Never had she felt such contentment. “Maybe you could tell me again?” Her voice caught on her happy tears.

  “I’ll tell you every day of your life if you’d like. I love you, Jenna. Only you. Always you.”

  Had she ever felt so wanted? So needed? So loved? “I meant what I said to Sara. I love you, Stone, so much. I think I always have.” Hugging him close, she promised, “And I won’t ever leave you again. We can be together, forever.”

  “There is one thing.”

  Butterflies ravaged her stomach at his serious tone, and she froze in his arms. “What?”

  “How do you feel about changing your name one more time?”

  Startled, she pulled back, but his hooded expression gave nothing away. His arms were banded tightly around her as if he was...uncertain. “Change my name?”

  “To mine.” Lifting a hand, he slid a callused finger over a lingering tear before he bent and kissed her again.

  Off guard, she still just stared at him. “Are you...asking me to marry you?”

  “Yes, I am.” A grin tugged at his lips. “You sound so shocked. Is it that big of a surprise?”

  “No. No, it’s just that I...” More tears, unstoppable this time. “I’d hoped,” she managed before flinging her arms around his neck. “Oh, Stone, how I’d hoped.”

  “Is that a yes? You want to be mine?”

  He asked so solemnly it brought fresh tears. “Yes,” she whispered. She’d never felt so right anywhere else as she did in his arms. The pure sense of sweet homecoming made it difficult to speak. “Yes to everything. But as for being yours, I already am. Forever.”

  Epilogue

  “Wow! Mom! Come look quick! He did it again, I swear!”

  Jenna, who, even after two years still thrilled to hearing Sara call her Mom, came running, for the little he in question could have done anything from throwing up his carrots on the den rug—again—to eating the dog food.

  Unfortunately Chase Cameron, ten-month-old tyrant of the household, had already learned that people took one look at his pudgy adorable self and turned to mush.

  Jenna skidded into the room as fast as her eight-month pregnant body would allow. She eyed her son first, taking in the cherubic expression, the light blue eyes and dark curls almost too pretty to be wasted on a boy. “Did he tear up your book report again?” she asked Sara.

  “Ah...no, but hey, that was a good one. I should have saved that excuse,” her daughter admitted.

  “You haven’t even started it yet, have you?” Jenna sighed. “You’re supposed to be—”

  “I know, I know.” Sara straightened, and in a perfect mimic of Jenna’s voice said starchly, “Studying. It’s the concrete paving the walk to my future.”

  “Well it is,” Jenna insisted, with a laugh.

  “I know, Mom,” Sara moaned, dragging the last word out.

  Sara seemed to think she knew a lot lately, something that Jenna and Stone attributed to her new teen status. They considered themselves lucky they’d gotten married, settled in Stone’s house and had the baby before facing the new challenge of living with a twelve-year-old.

  “Watch,” Sara commanded. Turning to the toddler in her lap, she smiled down at him as he happily chewed on his fist. At the sight of Jenna, Chase shot her a slow crooked toothless grin that reminded her very much of Stone. She sighed in contentment.

  “Chase! Pay attention now,” Sara admonished, ruining it by kissing him sloppily
on the cheek. Reaching around her brother, she picked up her basketball, which had suspicious-looking drool marks on it, and set it in Chase’s lap. “Do it again,” she urged, their two dark heads bending in concentration over the ball. “Show Momma.”

  Watching Sara lavish attention on Chase brought a lump of pure joy to Jenna’s throat. Then strong warm arms wrapped around her from behind, and with a watery smile, Jenna leaned back into them.

  “She’s so good with him,” she murmured.

  “And you’re so good with both of them.” Slipping his hands around to support her bulging belly, Stone kissed Jenna, chuckling when, beneath his hands, the next Cameron baby stirred and kicked. “Ready for yet another, Mrs. Cameron?”

  “Who would have thought?” she whispered dreamily, watching Chase lean forward to gum Sara’s ball with his very wet mouth, much to his older sister’s disgust. “Who would have thought I’d be a mom to two-point-five kids, a driver in the carpool and live in a perfect house with a white picket fence—”

  “It’s not white.”

  “—and be this happy,” she finished on a sigh of contentment.

  Stone stilled, then hugged her fiercely, careful to take care with the unborn baby. “Any regrets?”

  Before them, on the rug, Sara took the ball away from her brother, turned him in her arms and hugged him with the same fierce love that Stone was hugging Jenna.

  Jenna’s heart squeezed tight with love, and in Stone’s arms, she turned to face him.

  She kissed him with all her heart, then cupped his face, pulling back so she could see into his eyes. “No regrets. I have everything I ever dreamed about, all because of you.”

  “Nothing missing?”

  “Weeell...” She’d caught the teasing light in his eye, and knew he was referring to the way her hormones had reacted to this pregnancy.

  With an eager grin she pulled him closer so she could whisper in his ear, telling him what was missing and exactly how he could fix it.

  “Shame on you, Mrs. Cameron,” he whispered in mock shock. A wicked gleam lit his face. “But let’s hurry and put everyone to bed so I can help you out with that, er, particular need.”