by David James
Sarah decided to carry on the pretence 'They can be unreliable can't they.'
Jane looked appreciative and then said, in what sounded like a pre-prepared routine 'Got anything planned today Sarah?'
Sarah looked straight at Jane. When she had met her before she had identified her as being slightly separate from the group. The rest of them had seemed self-assured, of one mind on things. Jane had seemed apart from them, less sure of her place. Sarah had thought then that this could be useful to her. Now she wasn't so sure, she suspected that Cynthia had sent her.
'Oh, just the usual. How are the others?' replied Sarah.
This made Jane look even more uncomfortable. 'I haven't really seen them since last night.'
Sarah was enjoying feeling in the ascendancy for a change. 'Cynthia is certainly a character isn't she?'
Jane nodded.
'Has she always been in charge?'
Jane now looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but here. 'How do you mean?'
'Well, you know, she does seem to run things.'
'I guess she is just used to it. What with her background,' said Jane.
'Background?'
Jane's discomfiture increased 'Well, I just meant, she used to be in charge, of…' she seemed incapable of completing the sentence.
Sarah didn't help her out. She just kept looking at Jane, forcing her to complete the sentence.
Jane now had a pained expression on her face. But Sarah wasn't about to let her off.
'I never did learn what exactly she had been in charge of,' said Sarah.
'Research,' said Jane, a pleading look in her eyes.
Sarah maintained her gaze. She knew there was more Jane knew, and perhaps wanted, to say.
Jane opened her mouth to speak.
'Are you ready to order madam.'
Sarah had been so transfixed on Jane that she hadn't noticed the waiter arrive inconveniently to rescue Jane. It was as if a spell had been broken. Jane was visibly relieved, Sarah was annoyed, she wasn't sure if she would get another chance to discover something.
Jane said 'Yes, thank you' to the waiter.
Sarah was left with little option other than to say 'Well, I'll leave you to your breakfast, nice speaking to you.'
'And you,' lied Jane, and Sarah sat down at her usual table.
Sarah ordered a big breakfast, she wasn't sure when she might get to eat again today. She studiously avoided meeting Jane's eyes as she ate.
Sarah finished her breakfast, stood up and left the dining room as quietly as she could, avoiding walking directly past Jane's table. Her car was parked in the official parking for the guest house and was located behind the front entrance.
She opened the front door and turned sharp left towards the car park. She was relieved to see that her car was sitting there patiently waiting for her. She opened the car and put her bag on the seat next to her. As she settled into the driver’s seat and put the key in the ignition, she hesitated. She had the vision of her car exploding in a ball of flame. She had been watching too many late night crime dramas, she was being silly. Even so, she turned the key slowly and was relieved as the car burst into life and not flames.
The notes she had made were on the seat next to her. They weren't exactly detailed, but considering she had recalled them using snippets of what she had seen in the darkened room, they were as good as she could manage. The car started straining as the road climbed upwards. In her mirror she could see the village disappearing in the distance. She was already beginning to feel a weight lifted the further she drove away from the village.
She leant forward to switch on the radio. She wanted to check if Ben had betrayed her yet.
She switched between several channels, but there was nothing about the children. Sarah felt relieved. She wondered what effect the new treatment was having on them. Were still the same children she had left behind? The lack of mention of the children on the news showed that nothing had been accomplished so far. Unless the institute had made a breakthrough and were just waiting for the right time to announce it? She had a pang of regret that she was no longer involved in their treatment.
After the breakfast chance meeting with Jane, Sarah found herself looking in the rear view mirror for the umpteenth time, half expecting to see a car following her. But the road remained quiet.
And then as she looked back at the road in front of her she slammed on the brakes.
It was unmistakeable. She recognised it from the photo that Cynthia had, possibly inadvertently, showed her. There was even the shape of an emblem that she remembered and it was directing her to follow the next turning.
As she drove slowly along she realised how easy it would have been to miss the turning. The road was much narrower than the main road and looked little used.
As she drove along she glanced down at her notes. The rough drawings that she had made and that looked so clear to her last night, now seemed more like the drawings of a five year old. And of about as much use.
She drove slowly for another few minutes, until she was well away from the main road. And then, just as she was about to despair, she saw something that she recognised. She stopped the car.
She picked up the notes, looked at them and looked up ahead of her. The resemblance was clear as she looked at the strangely fashioned writing on the small sign.
She drove the car slowly towards the small clearing that was across the other side of the road and turned in. The clearing had enough space for approximately five cars and was partly overgrown. Sarah parked the car and turned off the engine.
She sat there trying to gather her thoughts. She began to wonder how she had managed to get to this point; sitting in the middle of a seemingly deserted wood looking for, what exactly?
Before the children had arrived she had a reasonably stable existence. She had a regime that she lived by and it served her passably well. She had the occasional relapse, but it was all manageable because she controlled her environment. As she looked out at the seemingly endless and deserted woodland, she felt anything but in control.
She sat there for a while, toying with the idea of just turning around, going back to the guest house and going home to a warm bath and a drink. She could feel the smile beginning to form on her face and she reached forward to start the engine.
But she took the car keys out of the ignition and with a force of will, reached down to grab her notes, opened the door and stepped out.
She briefly looked around to see if she was alone, but it was just a force of habit. It was clear there was no one around and equally clear that there hadn't been anyone around for a while.
She locked her car, but she wasn't sure why. Who exactly did she expect to steal the car out here?
The partial clearing ahead of her was surrounded by the encroaching woodland, the only gap was at the far end and it looked as if it was being rapidly reclaimed by the undergrowth. She decided to head this way. As she approached, the clearing seemed to narrow. What had looked like an obvious place to walk through seemed barely different from what was surrounding it now.
She pushed at the undergrowth. There was definitely the remnants of a path of sorts there. Taking a deep breath, she pushed forward. If she had hoped that it would be easier once she started she was sadly mistaken. The path seemed to disappear and reappear at will. It was also now surprisingly dark under the trees. Moments earlier she had been in bright sunshine, it was as if someone had switched the light off.
As she walked there would be a slight clearing and the light would suddenly reappear. It was as if she was walking through a room with someone switching the light off and on at random intervals. She was concentrating on looking at the path under her feet, which only made things worse. But she had no choice, if she took her eyes off the path, it would either disappear or a stray branch or root would trip her up. It meant that she wasn't really actually looking where she was heading.
She looked behind her, but the path seemed to have closed behind her.
She began to feel uneasy and wondered if she should turn back. But what would be the point, she had to know where the path led.
Living in a city, she craved quiet; it seemed like the most important commodity nowadays. But here the silence was oppressive and bizarrely felt somehow unnatural to her. She was aware of the irony that she was describing nature as unnatural, but shouldn't there be some sound? As if in answer, there was a loud crack from behind her. She stopped and stared at where it had come from. Probably just a falling branch. Or something. She started to trudge forward again.
She was beginning to get thoroughly disorientated now, the endless tree stumps became mesmerising. At what point did she turn back? She couldn't just trudge around all day. The air under the tree canopy seemed somehow heavier and harder to take into her lungs.
She had to stop walking again. She took out the notes she had made.
Sitting in the comfortable guest room, it had all seemed quite clear. But out here they began to resemble the scribblings of some mad woman.
She knew what she was looking for, she just didn't know if she would be able to actually see it in here.
Crack
Her head jerked in the direction of the sound. She thought about calling out; but quickly realised this would just draw attention to herself. But whose attention? She was sure she was alone. She was beginning to long for the silence again.
She looked at her notes again and in the dimmed light they just looked like gibberish to her now. And what did they really represent? Just half remembered images and detail from a folder that she half saw in the dark of a room. The more she thought about it the more ridiculous it seemed that she had ever entered these woods.
She turned around and started to walk back.
It was the cowardly thing to do, she knew that. But she really wasn’t cut out for this. She worked in an institute. She was an indoors person.
She set off again at a slightly quicker pace trying to retrace her steps. But it wasn't that easy. The path seemed to look different going back along it. It wasn't possible, but it did.
But she was now committed to this path. If she tried to find another way, she may never get out of this place.
There was a sound coming from over her shoulder; but she dared not turn around, she began to quicken her pace. This had the effect of making her stumble each time she caught her foot on a root. She was now more stumbling forward than walking, but she knew she wasn't imaging the sound behind her.
And then she was reminded of the walk she had gone on in the wood near her home and how that had ended. She stopped to listen. There were mercifully no sounds of voices unlike then.
She set off again, keeping her head down, crazily thinking that if she couldn't see whatever it was, then it couldn't see her. She had seemingly regressed to being a child. She looked up briefly, but ahead was as impenetrable as ever.
Crack.
There was no mistaking that the sound was closer now. She quickened her pace to the point that she was on the verge of falling as she half walked, half ran. She looked up again, and there it was. The woods began to clear slightly, there was no mistaking the path there. She was now attempting to run, but each time she tried she pitched forward until she was now running forward in a stooped position. She reached the end of the path and the inevitable happened. She pitched forwards and fell head first onto the ground. She could feel that she had hurt herself, but she didn't care, she looked up frantically and could see to her relief the wood had cleared and there was a car parked across the far side.
She slumped forward until she was on her hands and knees. With the last of her strength she rolled over onto her back to look upwards. And then she saw a face form out of the gloom.
The blurred face looming over Sarah became clearer.
'Are you alright? Can I help you?' said the voice emerging from the blurred face.
She screamed. The voice stopped.
Surely it couldn’t be the same person as before? He must have been following her, even to here.
She rolled over and could see a car in the distance. She was about to open her mouth and shout for help when she recognised the car and knew there were no occupants to come to her aid.
She had no choice, she had to look towards the face, and she knew it would be the same man as in the woods at home.
‘Are you alright Sarah?’
How did he know her name?
She resisted and started struggling as she felt herself being lifted up, but it was no use and she was forced to confront the face of her assailant.
Chapter Forty
She could feel the arms restraining her and she gave up struggling. What was the use? She was too exhausted to resist anyway. She slowly opened her eyes and initially all she could see were her own tears. But reluctantly her eyes began to clear.
‘Who are you?’ she said fearfully.
‘Sarah? Are you okay?’
And then her vision cleared enough for her to see a face she recognised.
She felt a surge of relief.
‘Ben?’
'Who else did you think it might be?'
Sarah was reluctant to answer so she just laughed. Too loudly and too long, it made her sound a little mad, but she didn't care, the release of tension was palpable.
'Was that you, back in the wood?' she said, beginning to recover her composure a little.
'Yes, I’m sorry I couldn’t say anything,' his voice lowered and became more serious as he said 'I had to check you weren't followed.'
'Followed?' said Sarah.
Ben looked a little puzzled. 'You have been staying in the village haven't you?'
He seemed to think that this would be enough explanation for what he had said.
Sarah nodded.
'So you know what it's like then,' said Ben.
Sarah stood up and dusted herself down, suddenly aware that she must look dishevelled and said 'How long have you been here?' she said.
'I just saw you arrive earlier, my car is just around the corner. If you are up to it you can follow me. There is a place nearby we can stop and talk.'
Sarah and Ben turned away from the wood.
As they began to walk away Sarah heard another loud crack, followed by another.
Sarah turned to Ben and said 'Did you hear that?'
'What?' said Ben, who stopped walking.
'That sound. I heard it before, just before you appeared.'
'I didn't hear anything Sarah. Probably just the wind and the trees, if you spend any time in that wood it can do strange things to you,' said Ben.
Sarah nodded. 'You’re probably right,' she said.
They walked back to her car and she got in and watched Ben disappear around the corner. When she judged that she had left it long enough, she started the car and drove around the corner. Sure enough, there was Ben sitting in a modest blue car.
Sarah followed him down roads that she would never have found by herself, until he pulled in at what she assumed was some sort of tea room, which she definitely wouldn't have found on her own.
Ben got out of the car and beckoned her to follow him and she caught up with him at the doorway.
'This is a little place I found,' said Ben opening the door.
Sarah was tempted to ask him 'How?' but she kept quiet and followed him.
They sat down at a small table and someone came to take their orders. Ben looked at Sarah and said 'Two teas okay?'
Sarah nodded and the woman left them alone.
'Where to start,' said Ben. 'How have you been Sarah?'
Sarah wasn’t sure how honest to be with him.
'Well, I've been away from the institute for a few days now. Been staying at home,' she said.
Ben nodded.
'I've been staying in the village, but you probably worked that out,' she said.
Ben nodded again and said 'How are you finding it there?'
'Erm, well, strange,' said Sarah.
Sarah leaned forward until she was only a
foot away from Ben. 'I have to ask you, and I know it may sound odd, but you did stay at the village didn't you?'
Ben looked perplexed. 'I thought you knew I did?'
'It's just that when I mentioned you there, they denied any knowledge of you.'
'No one remembered me?'
'No one that I spoke to.'
Ben seemed to look disappointed. 'Maybe they wanted to forget about me. I did start asking some interesting questions.'
'But you said they were all fine when you first arrived, I remember your emails.'
'They were all friendly, at first. But I don't think they believed my book writing story after a while and they sort of clammed up. Which had the effect of making me ask much more blunt questions to get a reaction. And then it all started to get a lot less nice.'
'How so?' said Sarah.
Ben seemed to be weighing up what he should tell Sarah before he lowered his voice and said 'Well, it all got a bit bizarre. People wouldn't meet my eyes. In fact they seemed to be purposefully avoiding me.'
'Are you sure?,' said Sarah, 'I mean, it is the sort of place that makes you feel quite isolated.'
'I know what you mean, I wondered that myself. But then there was the car.'
Sarah was intrigued and also glad to be talking about someone else's problems rather than her own.
'It was when I was driving up towards here. And it was dark you understand, so I couldn't see much. But, well, I'm sure this car tried to run me off the road.' Ben paused and looked at Sarah.
Sarah wondered if she wasn’t the only one feeling paranoid.
'You can see the scrape marks down the car where I had to take evasive action,' said Ben defensively.
'And what about my room mysteriously suddenly becoming booked up. Did it look all that busy when you were there?' said Ben.
Sarah thought about the half empty dining room.
'No, not really,' she said.
There was an uncomfortable silence as Ben tried to compose himself before speaking. 'Did you meet Cynthia?'