Swiping at her wet cheeks with the back of her hand, she released another sigh. “She saved my life. And now she’s gone.”
After several seconds passed by in silence, it became clear to Will that Mila had said all she was going to say for the moment. Stepping forward he reached for her, sliding his palm up her bare arm. Moving away from the door, she came forward and into his waiting arms. As he folded her into his embrace, she seemed to sink into him, and as her body molded against his, the tears began to fall faster and harder, until she was sobbing more than she was breathing.
He still had so many questions. Who was this friend? And how did she die? And where had Mila been going? Back to Tennessee? To attend the funeral? Or had she been leaving for good? By the weight of her heavy suitcases, he had to believe it was going to be a permanent move. But he knew better than to ask his questions now, to interrupt her grief.
While she clung to him, nearly choking on her own sobs, he led her slowly back into her bedroom, settling her gently into bed before slipping in beside her.
“Shhh,” he soothed, running his hand over her wet hair, smoothing it away from her face. “Breathe, Mila, just breathe…”
Eventually she calmed, her cries turning into hiccupping sniffles before she drifted off into a restless sleep. Will lay beside her for a long time, ignoring the incessant vibrating of his cell phone, ignoring his growling stomach, in favor of remaining by her side.
It wasn’t until he heard the apartment door open that he decided to finally move.
Walking into the hallway he found Nikki closing the door behind her, looking curiously at Mila’s stacked luggage beside the door. Her eyes found his, and she gave him a questioning look.
“What’s going on?” Nikki asked, sounding hesitant and concerned.
Will’s eyes narrowed in confusion. So she hadn’t even told Nikki, her best friend and roommate, that she’d been leaving.
“I was just going to ask you the same thing,” he said.
Chapter Fifteen
Nikki’s high-pitched laugh was what woke me, and for a second I just lay there, listening to the soft voices coming from the living room. The light laughter, the deep laughter, her high voice, his deep voice.
“Oh shit!” I hissed, jumping out of bed. Realizing I was still in a towel, I grabbed my Tennessee sweatshirt and stepped into some jeans, and then was jogging down the hallway toward their laughter while simultaneously dragging fingers through my tangled mess of hair.
“Morning,” I declared loudly as I rounded the corner.
My eyes grazed over the two of them, both sitting on opposite sofas, coffee mugs clutched between their hands.
“Morning, Mila,” Will’s deep voice greeted me. Getting to his feet, he came toward me, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on my lips. Everything about him—the look on his face, his body language—appeared relaxed. But his kiss had been tense. “Coffee?”
I nodded, and after placing another soft kiss on my mouth, he moved to the hallway, and disappeared into the kitchen. I turned back to Nikki, who silently mouthed something I couldn’t quite make out, and I quickly joined her on our small, chintzy sofa.
“What, is going on?” she whispered. “You were leaving? And, Mila, who died?”
I glanced toward the hall, making sure Will was still in the other room. “I can’t say anything, not right now. But we need to talk.” Gripping her hand, I gave it a squeeze, hoping she’d understand.
“Mila! We need to talk now!” she whispered angrily. “I’ve been dodging Will’s questions all morning!”
“Not now,” I mumbled, eyeing Will as he walked back into the room.
“Milk and sugar, right?” he asked, handing me a steaming mug.
Taking the cup, I inhaled the coffee-scented steam before taking a quick sip. “Yes, perfect,” I said, smiling lamely as the room lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
Nikki was antsy and agitated, and I could sense her practically willing Will away so she could grill me on what had happened, and Will… He seemed oddly stoic for a man who, just last night, had declared his love for a woman and had that love reciprocated.
Over the rim of my coffee mug, I studied his chiseled features, taking in his downturned mouth and mentally tracing each furrowed line indenting his forehead. It didn’t take me long to realize that overnight his confusion had turned to mistrust, frustration, and possibly anger as well. Not that I blamed him; I hadn’t been truthful with him, and clearly my attempts at placating him hadn’t been at all convincing.
My God, I hated lying to him, especially after he’d been more than honest with me, baring his truths to me, no matter the consequences. I owed him the same respect, though I couldn’t fathom this ending well, once he knew who I really was and what that would mean for him.
“I should get to work,” he suddenly muttered. Running his hand through his hair, he attempted a smile, though the gesture was strained at best. “I’ll call you tonight,” he said.
Setting my coffee down, I rose to meet him and reached for his hand, giving him a small squeeze and equally strained smile. “I’ll be here,” I whispered, realizing too late that I should have chosen my words more carefully.
His eyes subtly flared, yet he said nothing in response.
Dropping my hand, Will started for the door and, after shooting Nikki a worried look over my shoulder, I hurried after him.
“Will?”
In the middle of shrugging on his still damp jacket, he turned, his blue eyes finding mine, his features creased in an unreadable expression.
“Are we…” I started to say, and then decided to rephrase my question. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good,” he answered as he rubbed a hand across his jaw. “And we’re good, too. Go talk to your friend, Mila. I can tell she’s anxious to get you alone. If you can’t talk to me about how you’re feeling, then I hope she can help in some way.”
Before I could respond, he was leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my cheek. I leaned into his embrace, reaching for his waist, needing to touch him, to feel his warmth and his love. Wrapping his arms around my back, he pulled me closer, aligning our bodies, and buried his face in my hair.
I wanted to tell him that he had done a great job of caring for me. I wanted to tell him that the problem wasn’t how I was feeling, but was who was searching for me, putting my life—and now his—in danger.
“Call me if you need me?” he murmured.
Pulling away from me, he glanced down and, biting down on my lower lip, I simply nodded in response.
I was still staring at the door long after it had shut behind him, wondering at these recent events. I’d never expected to find love again, much less know what to do with it now that I had found it. Forget that I’d made a mess of it so far—what the hell was I going to do now?
“Mila?”
I turned to find Nikki standing in the hall, watching me expectantly.
“Monica’s dead,” I whispered, not wanting to say her name too loudly. “Her body was found in Pennsylvania. It was all over the news.”
“Oh, Mila,” she whispered, her eyes wide. “Oh, God… are you sure it was…”
“Yes, and I don’t know what to do,” I continued. “And last night, I was just scared, and I panicked. I packed up everything and was just trying to get out of town to protect you and Will. But as I was leaving, Will showed up.”
I thought back to last night and tears filled my eyes. “I can’t stay here,” I mumbled, “We’re all in danger if I stay here.”
“I’ve always known the dangers, Mila, and I accepted them—you, and everything that came with it. I’m a grown woman, and I can take care of myself.”
I stared at her, awed by her strength but also knowing that she really had no clue what she would be up against. And if something happened to Nikki, my savior, the kind stranger that had opened her home and heart to me, kept me safe, and had supported me through it all…
If anything happened to her, I would never fo
rgive myself.
“I don’t know what to do,” I said. “Everything has changed now. I don’t want to leave, but the longer I’m here, the more danger I could be putting you in.”
Before she could respond, I pushed past her and headed back toward the sofa. Feeling weary, I sat down and placed my head in my hands. Moments later the cushions dipped as Nikki took the seat beside me.
“Yet you didn’t leave,” she said softly. “You’re still here, Mila.”
Lifting my head, I looked over at her. “He loves me,” I whispered.
“And?” she said, prompting me.
“And I love him.”
The corners of Nikki’s eyes crinkled as she smiled brightly. “I know,” she said, giving me a mocking-incredulous look. “That’s pretty obvious.”
More tears formed as I nodded, unable to stop them from spilling forth. “I’m so selfish,” I cried softly. “I shouldn’t be here, putting you both in danger, but after he told me how he felt, how could I leave? How could I just walk away from everything I’ve ever wanted? I just want to be happy. It’s not fair.”
An angry sob broke free and, feeling drugged and heavy, I reached for Nikki. Scooting closer, she enfolded me into her arms and hushed me.
“None of this is your fault, Mila,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down my back, “None of this has ever been your fault, and you can’t keep shouldering this all by yourself. I think it’s time to go to the police. I really do.”
I could hear the sadness in her tone, but more prevalent was the worry—she sounded more worried than I’d ever heard her before. Yet, even knowing she was right, that I most certainly should go to the police, I couldn’t. I’d never been able to trust the police before. To me, they had always been as bad, if not worse, than the people they were supposed to protect us from.
“You’re not in Tennessee anymore, honey,” she continued, already knowing what my argument would be, having heard it many times before, “and this isn’t a small town. They’ll help you, Mila, I promise. No one here is going to hurt you. I won’t let them.”
Her last words were spoken with true conviction. Nikki, little thing that she was, was a scrappy New Yorker, and ready to fight for the people she cared about, no matter who the enemy was. And I loved her for that.
“I’m scared, Nikki,” I whispered hoarsely.
“I know,” she whispered back. “And I’ll be honest, I’m scared too. But you can’t live like this—always running, always afraid. You deserve to be happy.”
I clutched her tighter, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to envision a world without fear, a world where I could be honest about who I was and everything I’d endured.
A world with Nikki, and with Will. A world where I was finally able to put myself first.
“Okay,” I mumbled, swallowing hard. Forcing my tears back, I let out a shuddering breath before pulling away from Nikki. “I’ll do it. I’ll go the police. But…”
“But what?”
Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s stupid. I was just thinking that I’m going to have to tell Will everything, and then I remembered that this charity thing he’s taking me to is this Saturday. He was going to introduce me to his family…”
Already feeling the weight of what was to come, I trailed off. I couldn’t know for certain, not until the revelation actually occurred, but I had a sneaking suspicion that once Will learned the truth about me…
“You’re worried he might walk away, aren’t you? Once he knows?”
Feeling a fresh wave of fear, one that had nothing to do with my past and everything to do with my future, I nodded.
“Mila…the man already admitted he loved you. He’s not going to abandon you now.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, but it’s too soon to lay all my baggage on him. Can you imagine what he’ll think of me…?”
Because oh God, once he learned the depth of it all, all the gruesome details, I could only envision him feeling exactly one thing toward me: disgust.
“Mila, how many times do I have to say it before you start to believe me? You did nothing wrong. You didn’t know. And when you did know…” Stopping, she grabbed my hands with hers and squeezed. “And when you did know, it was too late. And if Will is worth a damn at all, he’ll realize that.”
“But—”
“No buts, Mila. The man adores you. He’ll do everything he can to protect you, and so will I. But you have to try and protect yourself, and that means more than just running and hiding.”
A tiny smile curved my lips. “I’m so grateful for you, Nikki.”
“So you’re going then,” Nikki said, suddenly smiling brightly. “You’ll go to the charity thing, have fun with Will, meet his family, dance and drink and forget about everything else. And then afterwards, you’ll tell him everything.” She shrugged. “And if he bails, he bails, and it’s his loss for missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him. But regardless of what happens with him, come Monday morning we’ll go to the police, together. Okay?”
Holding tight to Nikki’s hands as if she were my lifeline, which at the moment she was, I took a deep, shuddering breath and released it. “Okay…” I said, and attempted another calming breath. “Okay.”
* * *
Will walked quickly down the sidewalk, buttoning up his coat. He’d yet to call Richard to come get him, needing some time to think, to clear his head, to simply just wrap his mind around everything that had transpired since last night—hell, since he’d met Mila.
Something wasn’t adding up, he knew that for certain, yet considering Mila had just lost a friend, he knew now wasn’t the time to bring up the oddities of her reaction to her loss.
Though people tended to act irrationally in the face of grief, didn’t they?
And when it came down to it, he really didn’t know Mila all that well. How could he? They’d only been dating a couple of weeks—hardly enough time to know a person inside and out.
Still, something was nagging at him—although it could have just been the fact that she’d packed all her earthly belongings and was ready to jump ship without even bothering to tell a single soul. What would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? Would she have ever called? Ever come back?
Was this how she handled stressful situations? Was this something he needed to be concerned about? He had a feeling it was, yet he couldn’t walk away from her, or this, even if he wanted to.
Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, Will frowned up at the sky. Yep, that was precisely the root of his discomfort. But then again…maybe his concerns were just that. After all, she had since told him that she’d loved him. And maybe that changed everything. Maybe now when something awful happened, instead of running, she’d reach out to him.
Slowing his pace, he took a quick look around before zeroing in a nearby coffee shop. Looking both ways before crossing, he stepped off the curb and jogged across the street. Pulling open the door, he was greeted by a welcome blast of air along with the heavenly scent of freshly roasted java.
Taking a seat at the bar, a barista on her way over to greet him, he felt his phone begin to vibrate. Sighing, he dug it out of his pants, and sighed again seeing who the caller was. He gestured for a coffee, pointing to a nearby sign that boasted Americano espresso shots before pressing accept, and brought the phone to his ear.
“Mother,” he said flatly, not at all in the mood for whatever she wanted to discuss.
“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” she demanded, and in that way that always made him feel like a child. “I’ve been calling and calling.”
“Because I’m a grown man,” he replied, “who has a life outside of answering my phone and explaining myself every five minutes.”
To my mother, of all people, he silently continued.
There was a sharp tut on the other end of the line, and he knew he had offended her. He sighed, feeling guilty alongside his impatience. It wasn’t her fault that he was in such a foul
mood. For once.
“What can I do for you?” he asked, trying to soften his voice and get rid of the edge that his family seemed to always bring out in him.
“That’s better,” she crooned. “Your sister’s gala is this weekend, and I’m calling to make sure you have your plus one. If not, no need to fret, I have a date for you.” She sounded as if she were smiling now. “She’s fabulous, has been living in Europe for a year. And she’s perfect for you.”
The barista set the coffee down in front of him and Will mouthed her a silent thank you. “Perfect for me, huh?” he asked, stifling a laugh.
His mother was still talking, describing this woman’s family, and how good it would be to have their names connected. She paused on his last comment, completely missing the sarcasm in his comment.
“Well, of course, Will. Only the best for my boys.”
Will rolled his eyes. “Mother, no. I have a date. No need to worry.”
She continued to talk, either choosing to ignore his comment, or possibly not hearing it above her own voice.
Will raised his voice and said it again, hoping this time she’d take the hint. “I have a date, Mother.”
“Nonsense.” She tsked him again. “Who?” she then added, sounding irritated.
“Her name is Mila,” he said, unsure where else to start or what to share about the woman he had so quickly fallen in love with.
“Her last name, William. What is it? Who is her father? Do we know them? I’ve never heard of a Mila.” She sounded curious now.
“No, you don’t know her, or her family.” Will inhaled noisily, readying himself for the barrage of complaints that would no doubt follow. “She’s from Tennessee, she works as a waitress, and I love her.”
There, he’d said it. Gotten it out of the way. Deep down, his mother had to have known that he wasn’t going to ever settle for some upper-class woman that only wanted to marry him for his family name and his bank account. At least, she’d know that if she’d been paying any attention to him at all for the past thirty-plus years…
Shut Up and Kiss Me Page 15