by Rye Hart
I went back to my office and Amber followed me in. She closed the door behind her. “Why didn’t you tell me about the food critics coming in?”
She didn’t seem upset. Just curious.
“I just found out myself this morning.”
She shook her head. “That’s a lot of critics for one day. Are you freaking out?”
I leaned back in my chair, studying her. “We have a good team. Everything’s been running smoothly since you showed up. And our food is excellent.”
She grinned. “You didn’t answer my question.”
I laughed despite myself. “Okay, yes. I’m freaking out a little bit.”
I was surprised to hear the words come out of my mouth. It wasn’t the kind of thing I’d ever admit to anyone, but this wasn’t just anyone. This was Amber. My woman.
“I’m not worried about the food, really,” I said. “I won’t let anything go out that isn’t top quality, critics or not. It’s just having them here all at once. One slip up, one mistake, and it’s not just one critic giving us a bad review, it’s three of them. If they slam us, it could put the restaurant out of business.”
Amber came over to me and gave me a reassuring squeeze on the arm. It was the most physical we’d ever gotten at the restaurant. Both of us made it a point to act purely professional when we were there. It would be too easy to get caught, even behind closed doors.
Still, I appreciated her comforting touch.
“We’re going to kick ass tomorrow,” she said. “You know I have your back. Anything that needs to get done, I’ll be on top of it.”
“I need to get done. Will you get on top of me?” I took another risk and reached up to touched her face. She had my body burning with desire, and I knew my heart was hers too. There was no denying it, I was falling in love.
She laughed, the sound filling up the office. “It’s cheesy, but I love it.”
I looked up at her, my eyes locking with hers. The steady confidence in her light blue eyes filled me with optimism. “Thank you, Amber. It feels good to know you’ll be at my side tomorrow.” She swelled with pride. “But don’t let it go to your head.”
She smiled and nodded. “Of course not, Chef.”
“Now get back out there before people start talking.” I let my eyes move across her as I took a shaky breath. “Before I close the door and give them plenty to talk about.”
***
I was in a million places at once during the day. As smoothly as things had been running, there was always room for improvement. I stalked from chef to chef, reminding them of little details about each dish, making sure they were ready for the following day.
When the dinner shift was over, I sent them all home early, telling them to get some rest for tomorrow. Amber offered to stay and help me clean up the kitchen but I insisted she leave, too. She begrudgingly agreed.
That left me alone in the kitchen. My kitchen. I loved that place almost as much as I loved the little girl it was named after.
I’d started Emery with no money and no idea what I was doing. Cooking in a kitchen was one thing, but running an entire restaurant was a whole different animal.
Somehow, I’d figured it out and built things up to where they were now. It was crazy to think that it could all go away tomorrow.
Working in a kitchen was a form of controlled chaos. Anything could go wrong on any given day. All I could do now was make sure everything in the restaurant was in good shape for tomorrow.
I got home a few hours later, tired from all the extra work I’d put in. It was a good kind of tired, though. Things were as ready as they could be.
Emery was asleep but I sat in her room and watched her. She looked so peaceful, sleeping the untroubled sleep of youth. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept like that.
Things with Emery had been so different recently. She’d stopped acting out, stopped being so defiant. Marla had said she was just going through a phase, but I knew the real reason her behavior had improved.
It was Amber.
Whenever Amber was around during the day, the two of them were almost inseparable. I loved watching them together. Amber seemed to be exactly what Emery needed. And she was exactly what I needed, too.
I thought about calling her, but the smart thing to do was let her rest. I would need her firing on all cylinders tomorrow. My needs could wait.
I stood up to leave and the bed shifted. Emery blinked her eyes open.
“Hi, Daddy.” She gave me a sweet smile.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“That’s okay. I’m not tired.” She yawned.
“Sure, you’re not.”
“No, really. You should invite Amber over and we can all play.”
I shook my head. “Not tonight, my little munchkin.”
“Okay, but soon?” she whined softly.
“Yes, soon. Now try to go back to sleep. Just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should be up too.”
She looked up at me, her little face concerned. “Why can’t you sleep, Daddy? Did you have a bad dream?”
I sat back down on the bed beside her and stroked her hair. “Oh, no. Nothing like that. Daddy just has a big day tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” She rolled over to face me.
“Some people are coming to the restaurant. Important people. And if they like Daddy’s food, they’re going to tell everyone how good it is.” I paused. “And if they don’t like it, well, they’ll still tell everyone.”
“They’ll like it. Everyone likes your food.”
I smiled, wishing I believed in myself as much as she believed in me. “I hope so. I really do.”
I couldn’t tell her just how much was at stake tomorrow. Not that she wouldn’t understand, she was a sharp kid. But there was no reason to make her worry about it. I would worry about it enough for the both of us.
Damn. I shouldn’t have brought up the critics with her, at all. It was a sign of how anxious I was. I couldn’t help myself.
Emery patted me on the hand. “Don’t worry. You’re going to be the best tomorrow. I know it. And if you get worried or scared, just go to Amber. That’s what I would do.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - AMBER
I hated to leave Luke to do all the clean up by himself, but he’d all but tossed me out of the kitchen. I got the feeling that he needed some alone time, like he needed to center himself for tomorrow.
Having three notable critics in your restaurant at the same time was not a common occurrence. Maybe that was why they’d given him the heads up that they were coming. Still, it didn’t change the fact that it was a huge deal.
Tomorrow would be an all or nothing day. Either they’d be happy, and Emery’s reputation would be golden, or they’d hate it and trash the place. I would do everything in my power to make sure things went well.
It was still early, but I threw on my pajamas and started winding down for the night. That’s when I heard a knock at my door. The only person who’d be knocking was Luke. Maybe he needed a little more comforting about tomorrow. I could think of a few ways to do that.
I opened the door and Jamie was standing there. I tried to hide the disappointment on my face. Jamie didn’t seem to notice.
She held a bottle of wine in one hand and a movie in the other. “Ready for movie night?”
Shit, I had forgotten. We’d made plans a week ago. In all the excitement today, it had totally slipped my mind. “Damn, Jamie. I’m sorry. I think I’m going to call it an early night.”
“Bullshit!” Jamie exclaimed happily and walked past me into my apartment. “I only get to see you like once a week these days. Tonight, it’s wine and McConoughey.”
I shut the door and followed Jamie to the kitchen. She was already grabbing glasses out of the cabinet. I was about to tell her to leave, but a little wine was exactly what I needed to take the edge off.
“Seriously, I have a really big day tomorrow, but a glass of wine sounds pretty g
ood.”
Jamie nodded. “Damn right. I need a drink after the stressful week I’ve had.”
I arched an eyebrow at her. “Really? At the nail salon?”
“Yeah. Cassandra was all like, ‘get off your phone. You’re using up all the internet’. And I’m like, that’s not how the internet works. Or at least, I don’t think that’s how it works. Anyway, I’ve been bored as hell.”
I shook my head and laughed. “Bored isn’t the same as stressful.”
“Pfft. For me it is.”
“You and I are very different,” I said, grinning.
“Yeah, well. At least we’ve got one thing in common.” She handed me a glass of wine. “We both love dick. Cheers.”
I took a sip, feeling it warm my insides almost instantly. I knew it wasn’t just the wine. It was impossible to be in a bad mood when Jamie was around.
She looked at me. “So, this is the part where you tell me how your week was way more stressful than mine.”
“Actually, this week was fine. It’s tomorrow I’m worried about.”
Jamie leaned forward. “Tomorrow, huh? What happens tomorrow?”
I told her about the critics.
She responded like only Jamie could. “Critics shmitics. You’re gonna blow their cocks off with your food.”
I laughed. “Well, two of them are women.”
She rolled her eyes. “How patriarchal of me. Fine. You’re gonna blow their tits off. Better?”
I shook my head and laughed. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Seriously,” she said. “You’re going to kill it tomorrow. I know you’re a bad ass in the kitchen.”
“Well, whatever happens, it’s going to be a long day for sure.”
“You’ve got this. Between you and Chef Sexy, you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not calling him that.”
“Maybe you should. He might like it. How are things going with you two, anyway?”
“Pretty awesome, actually.”
“Really? Tell me everything. Then maybe we don’t even have to watch the movie.”
We moved over to the couch and settled in. “I don’t really know where to start,” I said. “Things are just good with us. Like really good.”
“Even though you two work together?” Jamie asked, frowning. “That seems like a recipe for disaster.”
I shook my head vehemently. “Absolutely not. One more food pun and I’m kicking your ass out.”
Jamie’s mouth dropped open. “What? That wasn’t even on purpose. You know I only make dirty jokes on purpose.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“To answer your question, working together hasn’t been an issue yet. We keep things totally professional at the restaurant, like we might as well be strangers.”
“Oh, come on. You’re telling me you two never sneak off to the supply closet for a little quickie?
I shook my head. “Nope. Not a quickie, not a kiss, not even a touch.”
“Seems like a missed opportunity to me,” she said, taking a sip of wine.
“You have to understand, there’s no privacy in the restaurant. People are running around constantly, getting into everything. We’d get caught for sure.”
“That’s part of the thrill, isn’t it?”
“Not when you’re sleeping with the boss. If everyone knew, things would get complicated for the both of us. We have enough stress as it is.”
Jamie lifted her eyebrow. “Well, you know there are these new things I’ve heard about called locks. You could try that.”
“If someone needs something in the restaurant, a locked door isn’t going to stop them. They’re either going to find a way to get in or they’ll wait. It just wouldn’t work.”
Jamie shook her head sadly. “That’s a shame. So, if you keep things professional, does that mean he’s still a total ass to you at work?”
I bobbed my head back and forth. “Kind of. I mean, he’s still a perfectionist. If I mess something up, he has no problem telling me. But it’s not nearly as bad as when I first started. I think I might be a good influence on him. He’s been a little nicer to everyone these days.”
“Yeah, girl. Tame that stallion.”
I laughed. “He’s not even close to tame. But he’s not a nightmare anymore either. And when we’re spending time together outside of work, he’s so different. It’s like he can let his guard down and just be a regular guy.”
“That’s good. Sounds like you’re getting through to him.”
“I think so. I just know I like spending time with him. Still, sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I mean, because of his daughter.”
Jamie cocked her head to the side. “I thought you liked his daughter.”
“Oh, yeah. She’s a total sweetheart. I love spending time with her. It’s like, she already feels like family to me.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
I stared down into my wine glass, trying to find the right words. “Emery clearly needs a mother in her life. And I know she’s starting to kind of think of me that way. Which would be great, but I don’t know if I can be that for her.”
“Because?” Jamie prompted.
“Because I don’t know what’s going to happen with Luke and me. Things are amazing now, but I have no idea what’s going to happen a month from now. Or a year from now. And if things fall apart with Luke and I, I’d hate for Emery to be too attached to me. She’s already lost one mother. She doesn’t need to lose another.”
She nodded. “That is a problem. But I think the bigger problem is that she’s you.”
“What do you mean?”
Jamie looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on. She’s you when you were growing up. You were like her age when your father passed away. And how old were you when your mother died?”
“I was twelve.”
“Yeah, so when you look at Emery, you’re seeing a younger version of yourself. You don’t want her to go through what you went through.”
“Well, yeah. I don’t know how she can make it without a mother in her life. No child should have to grow up that way. ”
“The problem is that you’re focusing too much on your past and not enough on your future. It’s okay to be worried about how your relationship will affect her, but don’t let that ruin this thing between you and Chef Hottie before it even has a chance to start. Maybe things will work out. Maybe they won’t. But you’re setting yourself up for failure if you’re holding back.”
She made me think about the fact that I refused to stay the night at Luke’s house. That was definitely me holding back. I didn’t want Emery to wake up and see me there. It would just cement the idea that I’d be her new mother.
But the truth was that I wanted to stay over. I wanted to sleep in Luke’s arms and wake up next to him in the morning. I wanted to be there for family breakfast and hang out with Emery and to head off to the restaurant together. I wanted all of it.
Fear was holding me back. If I couldn’t find a way to overcome that fear, there was no way Luke and I could be together.
“Anyway,” Jamie said, interrupting my train of thought. “I think it’s time to forget about our own complicated bullshit for a bit and watch someone else struggle with their love life.” She held up the movie. “What do you say?”
“Sounds good to me.”
***
It was fun hanging out with Jamie, but I was ready for bed by the time I made her leave. Tomorrow was going to be a tough day for everyone at the restaurant. I needed my eight hours if I was going to keep it all together.
I flipped my laptop open on the bed. Listening to something that always helped me drift to sleep. I could focus on the show instead of wrestling with my own thoughts.
I noticed I had an email. It was from the head chef at Halcyon, a ritzy place across town in the rich area of the city. I had to read it a few times before I was sure I understood what they were asking.
T
hey were offering me a job.
In all the excitement of the past few weeks, I’d forgotten about sending out my resume. Obviously, it hadn’t gone unnoticed. At any other time in my life, I would have jumped at the chance to work at a restaurant like that. Three Michelin stars. A world famous chef. Top tier everything. It was a dream job.
But now, there was no way I could accept their offer. Even though I didn’t know what would happen with Luke and I, I desperately wanted to find out. I couldn’t leave. I wouldn’t.
I deleted the email without giving it a second thought.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - LUKE
I awoke to the feeling of something pressing against my side. For a second, panic flared in me. Something was wrong. Today of all days. Then I looked down, my eyes still blurry with sleep, and saw Emery curled up next to me, sleeping soundly.
I hadn’t noticed her come in last night. Probably because I was so tired from getting things ready at the restaurant. It was a nice surprise to see her there, like a reminder of what today was all about.
It wasn’t just about my ego and my reputation. It wasn’t about being a superstar chef. It was about making sure my family was taken care of. The thought gave me a renewed sense of purpose. Today would go well. It had to.
I looked down at Emery’s peaceful, slumbering face. I couldn’t remember the last time she’d crawled into bed like this. She’d been so distant and standoffish lately until Amber showed up. It felt like she was turning back into her old self, affectionate and sweet.
There was no way for me to get out of bed without waking her up. I needed to get moving, but I paused and allowed myself to enjoy the moment. I tried imprinting it in my mind, so that I would never forget it.
With a sigh, I turned to her and placed my hand on her tiny back. “Time to wake up, little one.”
She groaned sleepily. “Good morning, Daddy.” It was more of a mumble than an articulate sentence, but I understood.
“Good morning. Did you have trouble sleeping? Is that why you came to sleep with me?”
Emery sat up beside me, wiping the sleep from her eyes. “No, I wanted to be here to tell you good luck today.”