by Rye Hart
Oh, sorry, back to me…
My likes are quiet moments alone, having enough money in the bank account to cover the rent, and long walks on mountain trails where nobody is screaming my name or telling me how much they hate my guts.
My dislikes are pretty much everything else in my life.
Oh, and I’m a virgin… so, yeah, there’s that.
Thank you, America. Good night.
* * *
The tip of my nose was nearly frozen by the time I walked across the rickety front porch attached to our rickety house and made it inside. Even with the front door closed, I could feel the icy winter wind blowing through the cracks around the doorframe.
I picked up the heavy blanket that I tacked over the door to keep the wind out. I had to stand on my tiptoes to hold the blanket up and secure it to the doorframe with push pins. I built callouses on my thumbs every winter from pressing push pins into the walls trying to keep Old Man Winter out.
Jackie was sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. There was a cigarette burning in the ashtray in front of her and a cup of coffee sitting under her nose. She was breathing in the strong aroma and letting the steam warm her face.
It was cold as fuck in the house because our heat only worked when it felt like it. I kept saying that we needed to get it fixed, but the money was never there. One more time, welcome to Maggie’s world.
“Long night?” I asked, dropping the mail on the table and refilling my coffee cup. It was a little past eight in the morning. I’d been up since six, prying my brothers out of bed and getting them off to school.
I didn’t really have to ask the question. I could tell by looking at her that she’d had a long night. Jackie worked as a waitress at The Classic Cat, a strip joint on the edge of town that was open 24/7. She worked third shift, so she’d just gotten home about the time the boys were leaving for school.
“Three bachelor parties last night,” she said, staring at me from under her hands. “I’ve never been groped so much in my life.” She nodded at the wad of crumpled one dollar bills she had dropped on the table. “Tips were good though. Maybe now we can get some heat up in this place.”
I gave her a smile and sipped my coffee as I let my eyes wander over her face. Jackie wasn’t much older than me, but life was weighing heavily on her. She had dark curly hair and a pretty, round face. She was full-figured, with big boobs that poured out of the bikini top and a big ass that barely fit into the short-shorts she had to wear to work.
I always made her wear a coat when she got home and the boys were here. I know how teenage boys think and I’m pretty sure cousin Jackie was the star of most of their wet dreams.
Jackie’s ex had beaten the shit out of her one night about six months ago and she showed up on my doorstep. Thank God, she never left. She kicked in money for bills and helped wrangle the boys. If she wasn’t here, I don’t know what I would have done.
“You need to spend some of this on yourself,” I said as I took the dollar bills and smoothed them out on the table with the back of my hand.
“There is nothing I need,” she said with a tired smile. “Other than a good night’s sleep and a good long fuck.”
“You’re terrible,” I said, frowning and smiling at the same time.
“And you need to get your cherry popped,” she shot back. “Come to the club tonight. I’ll get you laid and paid before happy hour is through.”
“Uh, thanks, but I’m going to pass.”
“Okay, but don’t say I never offered to help.”
“If I ever need help getting my cherry popped, Jackie Dean, you’ll be the first person I call.”
“Well that’s depressing,” she said with a tired smile. She picked up the cigarette and took a long drag off it, then waved the smoke away. She nodded at the stack of mail on the table.
“Anything from Publisher’s Clearing House in there? Please tell me we’re millionaires so I don’t have to serve drinks to douchebags anymore.”
“Afraid not this month,” I sighed.
“Too bad.” She took a slurp of coffee and licked her lips. “How are things at the restaurant?”
The restaurant Jackie was referring to was Robert’s Steak House. It was a local, family restaurant in downtown Mountain View owned by Carl and Doris Roberts. They had been my mom and dad’s best friends when they were alive. They took me and the boys under their wing and helped us when they could, but they weren’t rich, and every dime they had was tied up in the restaurant.
When I had to drop out of culinary school in Denver to come home after mom died, they gave me a job as a chef-in-training at the restaurant. It was just a fancy title for kitchen helper. It was hard work and long hours and shit pay, but I was working in an industry I loved and hopefully someday I would have a restaurant of my own. That was my dream anyway. I was pretty sure that would never happen, but I had to have some bright light at the end of the tunnel that hopefully wasn’t a train for once.
“The restaurant is good,” I said with a nod. “Business seems to be down, but Carl and Doris don’t seem too concerned.”
Jackie picked up her coffee cup and eyed me from over the top. “Have they said anything about selling out?”
I blinked at her. “No, why do you ask?”
Her round shoulders went up and down. “The rumor floating around the club is that some big company is trying to buy that entire city block where the restaurant sits so they can tear it down and build a hotel or something. The City Council is going to vote on it next month. Something about imminent domain, where the fucking city can just take the property and sell it to someone else if they think it will increase the tax base.”
“Such big words,” I said with a smile.
“Yeah, well, Ted likes to talk while I’m blowing him in the back of his car,” Jackie said wryly.
I smiled at her. Ted Reed was the married City Council President who frequented the club and screwed Jackie whenever his wife was out of town. Jackie didn’t know the difference between imminent domain and a Dunkin Donuts, but I did. I’d paid attention in high school government class while Jackie was off having sex with the captain of the football team.
“Did Ted say the name of the company that wants the property?” I asked.
She stubbed out the cigarette and shook her head. “Nope. Oh, shit, I almost forgot.” Her purse was on the table and she pulled it into her lap and rummaged a hand around the inside. She handed me a bent business card.
The card read: Charlie Prescott, Executive Vice President, Jenner Investment Group, Denver, Colorado.
I held up the card. “Who’s this and why should I care?”
“This guy came into the club last night with Tyler Jenner.” She paused for my reaction. I didn’t have a clue who she was talking about, so she held up her hands and swirled them in the air. “Tyler Jenner? Billionaire mountain man? Lots of muscles, long beard, shit loads of money? Just built that huge fucking log cabin on the side of the mountain west of town?”
“Okay, so?”
“Jesus girl, you’ve got to get out from under your rock,” she said, huffing at me. “Charlie Prescott is Tyler Jenner’s right hand man. They were both in the club last night and I heard them talking about staffing up the house he just built.”
I bit into my lip to keep from smiling at her. I swirled my hands in the air to match hers. “So, you were eavesdropping on them as you served them drinks?”
She made a funny face. “Do you wanna hear this or not?”
I hid my smile behind my coffee cup and gave her a nod.
“Anyway, I heard this Charlie guy say that they needed to find a local chef to work at the house or they would have to fly somebody in from Denver.”
“A chef?” I said, leaning in as if the word was drawing me across the table.
Jackie gave me a satisfied smile. “I happened to mention that my best friend and cousin Mags was a local chef who had gone to culinary school in Denver and might be interested
in the gig.”
I felt my heart sink. “Jacks, I went to school for six months. I barely got past boiling water.” I sat back in the chair and felt the fleeting moment of hope fly away.
Jackie narrowed her dark eyes at me. “You can grill a steak and bake a potato, can’t you?”
“Of course.”
“That’s probably all this mountain man eats,” she said. “Look, you can follow directions in a cookbook, can’t you?”
“Yes.”
She gave me a satisfied smile. “Good, because you have an interview this morning at eleven.”
My mouth literally dropped open and my eyes blinked like a slot machine. “What? Are you serious? I can’t interview for a job like that. Oh, shit, Jackie, what have you done?”
“I’ve gotten you the interview that could change your life,” she said seriously. “All you have to do is say ‘yes’ when he asks if you can cook something.” She smirked at me. “Trust me, if he ain’t impressed with your cooking, he’ll be knocked out by your boobs. Wear something tight. I’ll pick it out for you.”
“I’m not going to do that,” I said, giving her a scolding look. “If I can’t get the job on my cooking skills…”
“You’ll do fine, Mags,” she said. “Just be yourself. Everybody loves you. All you have to do is get the job, then you can figure out how to do it.”
“I don’t know, Jacks,” I stared at the business card in my hand.
Jackie reached across the table and put a hand on my arm. “Mags, people like us don’t get too many chances at grabbing the brass ring. This is your chance. You can do this. I know you can.”
I smiled at her. Jackie was always my biggest cheerleader.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go.”
“Good,” she said, squeezing my arm. “And Mags?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t fuck this up.”
CHAPTER TWO: TYLER JENNER
I always meditated for thirty minutes in the morning, no matter where I was or what I was doing. It was my way of reconnecting with a higher sense of my internal self and realigning my psyche with the nature and the cosmos. It was like fucking oxygen for me.
I would find a quiet place where I could strip off all my clothes and be stark-naked and alone, then spend the next thirty minutes just breathing and thinking of absolutely nothing.
It was hard to clear my mind sometimes. Especially now that my outdoor sporting goods company had shot into the stratosphere and made me a billionaire at age thirty-five.
Shit, I just wanted to sell hunting and camping equipment like my dad did out of his little shop in Denver before he died. Now, Jenner Outdoor has become one of the largest conglomerates in the world.
Jenner Investment Group, the parent company, not only had major holdings in retail, but also in tourism, real estate, hotels, travel, communications, and technology.
I didn’t understand half the shit we did anymore.
I just let my right-hand man Charlie Prescott handle the business side of things so the money would keep flowing into my bank account and I could hang out in the woods doing what I loved; hunting, trapping, fishing, traveling, and fucking – and not necessarily in that order.
I stood on the balcony off of the master bedroom of the log cabin that I had built on the side of a mountain overlooking the tiny town of Mountain View, Colorado. I spread my legs and stretched my arms toward the clear blue morning sky. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly as I brought my arms down in an arc to my sides, then inhaled deeply as my arms swept up again.
It was fucking freezing outside, but that was all part of the process. I meditated outdoors as much as possible to be close to Mother Nature. I longed to become one with nature and the cosmos, and the best way to do that was to meditate outside.
Standing there on my balcony at 5,000 feet above sea level, I didn’t think anyone from below could see me, not that it mattered. I ran around naked most of the time when I was home. I wasn’t a nudist, per se. I just felt that clothing was a way of hiding one’s true self. With me, what you see is what you get. So if you’re afraid of knocking on my door and being greeted by Mr. Cock & Balls, don’t come a’knocking.
So, here I am out on the balcony, as naked as the day I was born, breathing in and out and swaying my arms. My nipples were hard as diamonds and my balls had literally crept up inside my body to stay warm.
My poor cock had drawn up like an accordion and I was counting down the seconds in my head. Thirty minutes is eighteen-hundred seconds. I counted backward as I meditated. I was at three… two… one.
I let my arms fall to my sides and blew out a final deep breath, clouding the air in front of my face, then hurried back inside. I closed the patio doors behind me and paused at the foot of the bed to stare at the naked woman who was sleeping there.
She was a redhead, with big tits and a shaved pussy. I could tell she was a natural redhead by the day-old stubble on her cunt. There was a butterfly tattoo on her right hip. I couldn’t remember her name, but I vividly remembered everything we had done. Tanya maybe. Or Tammy. Did it really matter? I had picked her up at the strip club last night and brought her home to christen the new house. And we had christened from every possible position.
I found my phone on the dresser and carried it with me into the bathroom. I turned on the shower to let the room steam up. I pressed Charlie’s number. I could hear his phone ringing in the bedroom across the hall. He answered on the third ring, as usual. I could tell by his voice that I had woken him up.
“What?” he asked. He still sounded drunk from the night before. “What time is it?”
“It’s eight in the morning and there’s a woman in my bed,” I said as I checked my reflection in the mirror. I turned my back to the mirror and looked over my shoulder. There were scratch marks trailing down my shoulder blades. Ah, Miss Redhead had claws.
“So, what do you want me to do about it?”
“I want you to get out of bed and make sure she gets home alright. You know how much of a dick I am with mornings after.”
“Fuck you, you asshole,” Charlie said. “Why is it I always get charged with sending them packing? Don’t forget, dick head, you’re interviewing that chef this morning.”
“I won’t forget,” I said, reaching in to adjust the water. “I’m going to take a shower. I’d like for the woman in my bed to be gone by the time I get out.”
“Yes, your highness,” Charlie said. “Shall I send a slave in to wash the royal dick for you, sir?”
I grinned as I reached down and tugged my cock back to life. It was still cold, but filled quickly with warm blood as it grew in my hand.
“No, I can handle that on my own. Just take out the trash please.”
“Yes, Mr. Jenner, sir. Have I failed to mention what royal asshole you are?”
I grinned as I tossed the phone on the counter and stepped into the steaming shower to wash the stain of the previous night away.
CHAPTER THREE: MAGGIE
I could barely believe my eyes as my decrepit Honda Civic finally reached the driveway to Tyler Jenner’s ‘little log cabin’, as Jackie had called it. This little log cabin looked more like a resort lodge that had been built into the side of the mountain.
It was humongous, built from large logs that had been perfectly rounded and milled to a high sheen. The front of the cabin that looked out over the town of Mountain View was shaped like the letter A and made entirely of glass. Wherever you were standing on that side of the house, you had a magnificent view of the valley and town below.
There were several Hummers parked in front of the cabin, all dark green, with the white Jenner Outdoors logo on the side. I parked my shitty little Honda next to them and shut off the engine. I was freezing without the heat blowing, but I took a moment to check my reflection in the rearview mirror.
Because I didn’t have time and money to spare, I kept my blond hair cut short and didn’t wear much makeup. Chap Stick was my only luxury because the cold
mountain air wreaked havoc on my lips.
I was wearing a pair of jeans and a heavy sweater that hugged my neck. Over that I wore a parka and a wool cap over my head and a scarf wrapped around my nose and mouth. I tugged the scarf down and checked my teeth in the mirror.
Good thing I’m not being interviewed for my looks, I thought with a sigh. It was no wonder I was still a virgin. I spent most of my life bundled in parkas or wearing an oversized chef’s jacket. A man would have to unwrap me like an artichoke to have sex with me. And I doubted that I’d be worth his while. There were too many other girls in Mountain View that wore far less and would do far more. Like my cousin, Jackie, whose favorite saying was, “You gotta use what the good Lord gave you.”
And use it, she did. I lived vicariously through Jackie. I’d learned more about sex from just listening to her exploits than an entire year in high school health class. And Mrs. Edgar, our 70-year old health teacher, did not offer descriptive advice like “cup his balls” and “swizzle the head” and “practice your gag reflex.” I may have never had my cherry popped but it wasn’t because I was against sex before marriage. I just never found the right guy. I guess I never really had the time to. Most of my adult life was spent worrying over or taking care of my mom, who came in and out of cancer. She was the most important thing in my life and it left little room to fill my mind with extracurricular activities. I didn’t mind it. I at least had Jackie’s wild sex stories to keep me entertained.
I got out of the car and hunched my shoulders against the freezing wind. I felt small as I looked up at the massive log structure before me. This was no log cabin, this was a log mansion.
I rang the front door bell and shoved my hands into my pockets to wait for someone to answer. I stood there with my shoulders hunched against the wind and my nose hidden behind the scarf. I was about to ring the bell again when door finally opened and there stood the most magnificent specimen of the male species I’d ever seen. I recognized him from the Google search I’d done before coming for the interview.