Breaking Free: A Colorado High Country Crossover Novel

Home > Romance > Breaking Free: A Colorado High Country Crossover Novel > Page 23
Breaking Free: A Colorado High Country Crossover Novel Page 23

by Pamela Clare


  This felt wrong. Leaving her felt wrong.

  She stirred, opened her eyes. “Jason?”

  “Hey. I need to hit the road.”

  It was a fifteen-hour drive to Sells.

  She sat up. “I’ll make you coffee.”

  “I already did that. You can stay in bed.” He sat beside her. “This is for you.”

  She looked at him, surprised. “Thanks.”

  She opened it, drew out the silver pendant on its silver chain. The wolf track was cut out of polished sterling silver, abalone shell beneath it, giving it a shimmer. “It’s beautiful. Is it from Naomi’s store?”

  He nodded. “It’s a wolf track from a humble Wolf tracker for the beautiful Wolf Whisperer of Scarlet. Let me put it on you.”

  She turned, lifted her hair out of the way, while he fastened the clasp.

  He kissed her nape. “Let me see.”

  She ran her fingers over the pendant. “Thank you.”

  “It looks good on you.” There was one other thing. “It will be hard to manage on your own here. You should call Chaska and Naomi. Now that Doug and Star are gone, they have room. You can stay with them for a while.”

  “They’ve got Shota, and Naomi isn’t healed yet. I don’t want to bother them.”

  “I’m sure they wouldn’t be bothered. Promise me you’ll think about it.”

  “I will think about it.”

  He started to rise, but she stopped him.

  “I don’t know when I’ll see you again. I don’t know how to be without you now. But I do know one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  She touched a hand to his cheek. “Tecihila. I love you, Jason.”

  Her words put an ache in his chest. “I love you, too, Win. Te amo con todo mi corazón.” I love you with all of my heart.”

  “Say it in O’odham.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “We don’t have a word for ‘love’ in O’odham. We try to show our love through actions.”

  “You’ve done that.” Her smile couldn’t quite hide the anguish in her eyes.

  This was hell.

  Reluctantly, he stood. “Stay in bed. Stay warm.”

  “I’ll walk you to the door.” Winona reached for her crutches, stood, followed him to her front door, where his duffel waited. She disarmed the security system. “Do you want to pack a lunch or something, take an apple, some carrot sticks?”

  “I’ll be fine.” He drew her into his arms, held her close, savoring the feel of her. “I don’t want to go, Win. You feel like a part of me in a way that no woman ever has.”

  “I’m going to miss you so much.” She held him tight, finally breaking down, her body shaking as she wept.

  He held her for a time, then drew back, tilted her face up to his, kissed her tears away. “Don’t give up on us, angel. We’ll work this out somehow.”

  She nodded, smiled through her tears. “Text me along the way. Let me know when you’re home again. Good luck tomorrow. I’ll pray for you.”

  “I will.” He willed himself to let her go. “Goodbye, angel. Tom ñei.”

  She smiled again, laughed. “There is no word for ‘goodbye’ in Lakota.”

  Jason laughed, too. “Then let’s just say, ‘until I see you again.’ Stay safe. I’ll let you know when I’m home.”

  He must have been stronger than he knew—or incredibly stupid. In the next moment, he did the impossible. He turned away from her, shouldered his duffel, and walked out into the cold, snowy morning.

  Winona watched Jason’s truck disappear down the street as he made his way toward the highway, her heart feeling like it had been ripped in two. When he was gone, she shut the door, made her way back to her bed, and sobbed into her pillow. But there was only so long a person could cry.

  She made herself get up, take a shower, brush her teeth. Then she went into the kitchen to make breakfast. It wasn’t easy to do when she needed both hands on her crutches to move around.

  A knock.

  “Chaska?”

  He stood at her back door, concern on his face.

  She made her way over to him, checked to make sure the security system was still disarmed, and opened the door. “Hey.”

  Chaska stomped the snow off his feet and walked inside. “How are you holding up? I was out shoveling and saw his truck drive away.”

  Winona shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “I miss him so much already.”

  Chaska drew her into his arms and held her, comforting her like he’d done a thousand times before. “He loves you, Win. It will work out.”

  “That’s what Jason said.”

  “Come. Sit.” Chaska pulled out a chair for her, poured himself some coffee, and sat across from her. “Do you remember when Naomi went to live on the reservation with Doug and Star? She and I were apart for what felt like an eternity, and now we have a new baby boy.”

  “I remember.”

  “It was hell. I knew she needed to live with her family, to learn about her heritage. But living without her was hard.”

  “How did you get through it?”

  “One day at a time.” Chaska stood. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re on medical leave. It can’t be easy to manage alone with crutches. Naomi and I are on parental leave. You’re going to pack a few things. Then we’ll lock up your house, and you’ll stay with us for now. You can keep Naomi company, listen to Old Man’s stories, and cuddle Shota when Naomi needs to rest.”

  “I won’t get in the way?”

  “You’re my sister, Winona. You’re never in the way.”

  “Thanks.” She sniffed back her tears. “I would like that. That’s what Jason wanted me to do, too.”

  “He’s a smart man.”

  While Chaska packed up perishable food and carried it to his place, she threw clothes on the bed and gathered her toiletries. By the time Chaska came back, she was more or less ready to go. He got out one of her bags, helped her pack, then carried the bag outside. “I brought my truck. It’s slick out there. I don’t want you falling.”

  He helped Winona into his vehicle, drove around the corner, and walked beside her, carrying her bag, as she slowly made her way to the front door.

  Grandpa was there, waiting. He held the door open for her. “Come in out of the cold and have some breakfast with your family. Coffee is on the stove.”

  Jason waited outside the hearing room for the decision, his Wolf brothers with him—at least the ones who weren’t on duty. Even Ren, who hadn’t yet returned to duty, was there. They’d come to show their support and offer their testimony on his behalf about his work as a Shadow Wolf.

  “You’re one of the best. There’s no way they’re going to terminate you, man.” Ren rested a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “This is just a formality. When you pulled that trigger, it was either kill or be killed.”

  “We’ll see.” Jason had expected to be nervous, but he wasn’t. Some part of him had already accepted that this was his last day in uniform.

  His mind was fixed on the future—and Winona.

  She had sent him a text message wishing him luck. It had included a photo of her blowing him a kiss, her hair tousled from sleep.

  If he got fired, he’d pack up, head to Scarlet, and sort out his life from there.

  “You seem worried, brother.” Ellio cracked open a can of soda. “But you know we’ll stand with you, no matter what happens.”

  “It’s not that. I’m not worried.”

  “Then what is it?” Dale asked.

  Jason knew he shouldn’t tell them. They were his brothers, which meant that they could be true pains in the ass. But some part of him couldn’t hold back. “I met someone in Colorado, a Lakota woman. She’s special.”

  That shut them up—for a moment.

  Six sets of eyes stared at him, blinked.

  Then they all spoke at once.

  “You got pictures? I want to see.”

  “Yo, man, I knew you’d get over Elena.”


  “You think she’s the one?”

  “You in love again, bruh?”

  Jason shook his head. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

  “Come on. Just show us a photo. You took photos, right?”

  Jason knew they wouldn’t give up. He took his phone out of his pocket, scrolled to his favorite photo, and held it up for them.

  Ren leaned closer. “Whoa. She’s … hot.”

  Ellio grabbed his phone. “Does she have a sister?”

  Milo took the phone next and began to scroll through Jason’s other photos. “She is fine. What’s her name?”

  Jason took back his phone, locked it. “Winona.”

  He was saved from further idiocy when the door opened, and he was called back inside. He drew a breath, got to his feet, and went to face his fate, the Pack following him inside and taking their seats, while Jason remained standing.

  Cal Milford, their division director, sat, hands folded over Jason’s file, looking grim. Jason’s supervisor, Resident Agent-in-Charge Mick Nez, sat beside Milford, his expression giving nothing away.

  It was Milford who spoke. “Agent Chiago, we’ve carefully reviewed the details of this incident, along with your service record. Crossing the border while on duty and in uniform was a clear violation of our regulations and resulted in considerable and avoidable risk to your life. Further, this infraction caused conflict with our neighbor and ally, the United Mexican States.”

  Yeah, this was it, his last minutes as a Shadow Wolf.

  Milford went on. “However, there are several mitigating factors that we took into consideration. In light of years of meritorious service, this committee has decided that you be reinstated to the Shadow Wolves at your current paygrade.”

  Jason stood there for a moment, stunned, the Pack cheering behind him.

  Nez stood, a broad grin on his face. “It’s good to have you back, Chiago.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Jason knew he ought to be smiling like everyone. Instead, he felt … disappointed.

  You honestly thought it would be this easy, that they’d fire you, and you’d have an excuse to pack up and go back to Scarlet?

  Now he would have to make a choice—keep a death-bed promise to the grandmother who had raised him or claim happiness with the woman he loved.

  Remember that Creator doesn’t lead us to dead ends. We do that to ourselves. Creator gives us choices.

  Sometimes Jason hated it when elders were right.

  Ren slapped him on the back. “Come on back to my place. Have a beer and join us for supper. Teresa is making cemait and stew for dinner. You look like a man who needs to talk.”

  Jason tossed back his fourth and final shot of whisky. “Then her grandfather held a sweat lodge to pray for her and Naomi, her sister-in-law.”

  “The one who had the baby.”

  Jason nodded. “He said, ‘A promise is a sacred thing. So is the love of one’s half-side.’ Then he said it was time for me to break free from my anger toward my sisters so my resentment toward them wouldn’t color my decision.”

  “He sounds like a wise man.”

  “What does that even mean? How does the fact that my sisters left their people and their culture behind influence my decision?”

  “Maybe they hurt you, and you’re just determined to show them that you’re not like them.”

  Well, that made too much sense.

  “Have you prayed about it?”

  “What do you think? Of course, I have.” Jason knew he’d had a bit too much to drink, but that was no excuse for snapping at Ren. “Sorry, man.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Ren took a sip of his beer. “Help me understand. Your grandma made you promise not to abandon your O’odham people, and you think that means you can’t leave Sells to go live with your Lakota hottie. Am I right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How does living in another place mean you abandon the O’odham?”

  What was Ren’s problem? What didn’t he understand?

  Jason spoke like he was talking to a child. “I wouldn’t be here, on the reservation.”

  Ren laughed. “Being O’odham isn’t about where you are. It’s who you are. You’re an O’odham man through and through. If you leave, you won’t be abandoning us. You’ll be taking us with you. We’re inside you. We’ll always be a part of you.”

  “That’s just semant… seman… just word games.” Jason wished there was more whisky in his glass. “What about the O’odham kids I coach in basketball? What about the Pack? What about passing on our himdag to the next generation?”

  Then Teresa stepped out of the kitchen, corn flour on her hands. “You’re like a brother to us, Chiago. You know that. You’ve always had Ren’s back. So listen to your sister’s advice. You met the woman you believe is your soul mate, and you’re going to throw away your happiness and hers to keep a promise.”

  “It’s a promise made on my grandma’s death bed.”

  “Yeah, I got that part. Look at your arm. Does the Man in the Maze stay where he started? Does he just stand there, looking confused like you do right now?”

  “Um…” Jason was actually drunk enough to look at his tattoo.

  “Life isn’t about standing still or staying in one place. It’s a journey. Your grandmother knew that. I don’t think she meant you to promise that you wouldn’t leave the rez. She wanted you to promise to hold onto our ways. Besides, what would she want for you now? She would want the grandson she loved to be happy.”

  Jason struggled to think this through.

  But Teresa wasn’t finished. “Ren is right. You can’t abandon your people by moving away. Who gives a damn what your sisters did? That’s their choice, their journey. As long as you hold true to our beliefs, to our values, you’ll carry us with you wherever you go—and pass what you know on to your children. And why do you have to be here or there? Can’t you go back and forth? Isn’t that what roads are for?”

  Teresa threw up her hands and walked back to the kitchen, muttering to herself and leaving Jason to stare after her.

  Ren cleared his throat. “Brother, I think you’ve just been told.”

  Winona woke to a buzz from her cell phone. She rolled over, picked it up, read Jason’s text message.

  Good morning, angel.

  Along with the text was a photo of him sitting in his pickup at a gas station, either at dawn or dusk.

  Her heart swelled to see him. She saved it to her photo app and replied with a selfie she’d taken with the bear cub yesterday.

  Good morning, my love.

  This was her new morning routine. Every day began and ended with a text message from Jason, most of them accompanied by selfies or beautiful pictures of the desert or wildlife—roadrunners, a desert tortoise, an elf owl peeking out of a giant saguaro. He also sent emails when he could, and, on his days off, they chatted on the phone or online, sometimes for hours. And still, it wasn’t enough.

  Jason had been gone for a little more than five weeks now, but it seemed like an eternity since she’d watched him drive away. She missed his face, the sound of his voice, his touch, his scent. She missed sharing meals and unhurried conversations. She missed falling asleep beside him and waking up in his arms.

  She missed the sex, too, of course. God, yes, she missed that.

  Worse than missing him was the niggling fear that he’d get back into his routine in Sells, surrounded by his Pack and his people, and lose interest in her.

  Grandpa had told her to give Jason space. “Let him find his path back to you.”

  But it was hard to live every day not knowing when they’d be together again.

  Jason had told her he was working on their situation. When she’d asked what he meant, he’d said he didn’t want to get her hopes up and had kept it to himself.

  Long-distance relationships sucked.

  Winona sat up, reached for her boot, and slipped her Frankenleg inside. She’d been off crutches and walking for a little more than a week now
. Though each step had been painful at first, she was grateful to still have her leg and be more mobile.

  She walked to the bathroom and brushed and braided her hair. It was a Saturday, but she wanted to get her rounds at the clinic done early so she could help Naomi at the shop. Shota was almost two months old now and went to work every day with his mother. But when Naomi needed to breastfeed him or work on jewelry or even eat her lunch, someone needed to take care of the baby or cover the sales floor and the register.

  Her phone buzzed again.

  How is your morning going?

  She typed a reply.

  It would be better if you were here.

  Still in her bathrobe, she started toward the kitchen to make breakfast when her phone buzzed again.

  Then open your door and let me in.

  “What?” His message made no sense, so she read it aloud. “Open your door and let me … Oh, God!”

  She hurried to the door and looked outside. “Jason!”

  He stood there, handsome as sin, huddled against the cold in a denim jacket, a smile on his face.

  She punched in the code to deactivate her security system and opened the door.

  He stepped inside and drew her hard against him. “God, Win, I’ve missed you.”

  She held on tight. “I can’t believe you’re really here. Am I dreaming?”

  He stepped inside, closed the door behind him. “If you are, then we’re both having the same dream.”

  He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her, deep and slow.

  Five weeks of longing flared into sexual need in a heartbeat.

  “I want you, Jason.”

  He scooped her into his arms, carried her into the bedroom, then set her down beside the bed and began to undress. Winona let her robe fall to the floor and removed her boot, then lay back on her bed, feasting on the sight of him.

  He stretched out above her and kissed her, the two of them rolling in a tangle of limbs, hands moving hungrily over soft skin, seeking to arouse and please. After so many days apart, there was no need for seduction or finesse.

 

‹ Prev