by Simone Elise
“Want a line?” Bear offers me and I look at my father.
“Are you testing me?” I snap at him. “So what I use once, and you think I’m back to being a junkie?” And my yelling causes people to glance at me. I’m withdrawing and it sucks and I’m angry because of it.
Dad was right. I was wrong. But I was going to pretend he wasn’t right.
“Question is little one,” Dad takes the cigarette from his mouth. “How long you were using for before the accident.”
“Once.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“This isn’t like last time.”
“Damn straight it isn’t, because I won’t let it get that bad.”
I look at Bear, and pick up the roll hundred dollar bill standing up, I snort it before Dad can react and then I look at him. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. When I want. I’m not a member. I don’t answer to you.”
Dad rises up, ready to be yell to at me, but mom spots us.
“Both of you calm down.” She said but Dad’s a second away from exploding. Then his expression drops.
“What happened at Tyler’s chapter?” he looked between Tyler and I. “Because both of you won’t give me a straight answer.”
I go tense and the cocaine I just snorted doesn’t help me.
“Nothing.” I replied. “Though Tyler got engaged. That’s something.” And I rip my eyes off my father looking at Tyler. “When is the wedding?”
Tyler stood up. “Alexis you and I need to talk.”
“Talk?” I scoffed. “Every time we talk, we end up fucking.” And the words just come out. Dad’s now glaring at Tyler. Perhaps his life is on the line because I said that. “Come off it Tyler, you had an affair with me. But you stayed with her.”
“And now I know what the mother fucking problem is.” Dad growls, and stops glaring at Tyler to look at me. “You risked your heart and got burnt. So now you want to numb it. But the drugs aren’t taking the pain away.” Dad nailed it on the head but I didn’t say anything. “Tyler, Alexis my study. Now.” And that’s Dad’s way of saying this is going private. And there is a fifty, fifty chance that Tyler will end up in a body bag. He wouldn’t be the first man I had fucked that ended up dead because of it.
I follow Dad to the study. So does Tyler. Dad opens the door, I walk in, Tyler follows then the door slams shut and I hear the lock click. Oh. Fucking. God. I grab the handle. Only dad would have a lock on the outside!
“Open the door!” I shout but I could already hear Dad’s large foot steps head in the other direction.
Oh. God. I’m locked in a room with Tyler.
22
Alexis
I pull on the door handle, over and over, banging on it. I refuse to be in the same room as Tyler. I refuse! I continue to bang on the door.
“Don’t think he is coming back in a hurry darling.”
I throw a look over my shoulder. “I am not your darling.” And I want to make that clear and then groan pushing away from the door. Looking at Tyler. “Why the hell are you so calm!” I shout at him.
His steady eyes are lock on to me. “Perhaps because I didn’t just do a line of cocaine.”
My fingers are twitching, and I know Bear always had the good stuff, but the line I just did was too strong for me.
Tyler takes a step towards me and I take one back, hitting the door with my back. “I’m not above grabbing something and belting you to death with it.” I said.
Tyler smirks. “Guess I’d deserve it.” Instead of backing away from me, he takes another step towards me. “You asked about the wedding.”
I want to groan. God me and my big mouth. If I had kept it shut I wouldn’t be locked in here!
“Yeah tell me all about it.” I grind my teeth. “Knowing Danni you’ll be having one hell of an event. Ten bridesmaid and groomsmen. Hell, I’m sure it will be at one of her family’s properties.” Tyler doesn’t correct me because I’m right. I scoffed. “Did she like the ring? Or was the diamond not big enough? Cause god knows you’ll never please her.”
“Why didn’t you tell your dad, she was the rat?”
“Because I’m mean but I cared about you. She made you happy. Thus I kept my mouth shut.” If only I had done the same tonight. I groan and slide down the door, sitting on the floor. “How did you get out of witness protection?” I might as well ask the question that I had been thinking since I heard he was here while I was in hospital. I look up at him. “Surpised you didn’t elope into witness protection together. God knows she will never accept the lifestyle. Or is that why you are here?”
He frowns.
“To give Dad notice?” I added.
He goes and sits beside me on the floor. “I accepted my relationship with Dani.” He said something that confuses me. “I accepted I’d led two lives. One with her. One with the club.” He turns his head to the side and looked at me. “Then I met you, and you showed me I could combine the two.”
“What did Dani finally see the club as part of you?”
“No.” He brushes a stray hair off my cheek. “You did.”
I swallow sharply. “You can’t have me and her. Just like you can’t be an informer and a member.” I look away from him. Because I’m unsure what hurts more, the fact he is lying to Dad, or me or maybe the whole mess together, is what is hurting me.
His hand goes to my thigh and I glance at him, to see him staring at me “I just want you Alexis.”
“I can’t be the girl on the side.”
“Danni left. Took a one-way ticket. Which I forced her to take.” He revealed. “She’s not in the picture.”
“Did you end it or her?”
“I ended it the same night you came to the house. I told her I didn’t want to marry her. I never proposed.”
And his words, lift the bricks off my heart but stir a feeling I didn’t want to feel in my stomach.
His hand goes back to my cheek. “I thought I loved her. But I didn’t know that love is unconditional. She never really loved me and I never really loved her.” And his eyes locked with mine. “That was all casted in the dark, when I realized I felt something for you, and that feeling. This feeling, it fucking chokes the life out of me Alexis, and you cause it.”
I don’t know what to say. So I don’t say anything.
He thinks he loves me. He doesn’t realize, something and I’m about to tell him that one thing.
“Tyler?” I said, and he is still looking at me. “You can’t love me. You’ll just get hurt. I destroy everything that is good.” I drop my eyes. “I’m self-destructive and I don’t want you being caught up with that.”
“You talking about your drug history?”
I nodded my head, leaning my head back against the wall. “I was using non stop for a month before the accident. I’m more hooked on it now then when I was sixteen.” Saying that is massive, it hurts me to know I had slipped that far back. But admitting it, that causes tears to come to my eyes. “You don’t love me Tyler. What you felt was lust. So do yourself a favour and jump ships before I sink.”
His hand is still on my thigh, and his other wraps around me, and he forces me to straddle him. Looking down at him, I don’t see a man that is running.
His hand cups my cheek now, and tears form in my eyes.
“The ship won’t sink darling because I’ll be making sure of it. This problem you have, I made it come back and I vow to get on top of it with you.”
I just stare down a him. “I don’t expect that of anyone. Not even my family.”
“Well you can expect it of me.” He then leans forward brushing his lips against mine. “Because I’m your man, one that will stand by you in the light and dark.”
His words break me, and the emotions I had been feeling tear through my body. I never let anyone see me upset and perhaps me being upset now, instead of rude, was a sure sign, that Tyler, had indeed gotten into my heart.
23
Alexis
Dad let us out one hour later
. Mostly in that time, Tyler comforted me as I face the reality of getting clean again. And the fear that would drown my body every time I thought about giving up the drugs.
The club handles things within the club. You don’t go to an outsider for an insider problem. Last time I got clean, it was by my father’s orders and direction. I didn’t go into rehab. No I went into a hell worse than that. I was faced with seeing the drugs, every day, not being able to use. I was faced with cold showers, every time the twitches would come. Exercise was my outlet, enforced by my father.
The club was buzzing, the party was still in full swing when Tyler and I were let out. Dad just gave me one hard look when he saw Tyler’s hand wrapped around my waist.
He knew and I knew, I didn’t do relationships for a reason. Because they always crash and burn, look at Vex and me, I fucked that up all by myself. Because he cared for me, so what do I do? Push him away. What do I do with anyone that shows a slight bit of care for me? Push them away.
So right now as Tyler, pulled me down on his lap, while he spoke with a member from the mother chapter. I was struggling. Because I wasn’t used to being that girl. The girl on a biker’s lap. I was used to be the girl that was across the table from them, matching drink for drink.
I felt the mother chapter members looking at me. A few odd looks, and then they would glare at Tyler. Most likely blaming him for my derail—that everyone knew about.
God how was I going to get through this night? My hands were shaking from the cocaine and I couldn’t sit still. My hands twitching in my lap. Then Tyler’s hand wrapped around my twitching ones.
He told the mother chapter member to leave, and he listened. Why I don’t know. Though Tyler does have some ranking power. Perhaps that was why?
Tyler’s eyes locked with mine and he threw back his beer, while staring at me. “Show me your room Alexis.” He said that like he knew it was killing me sitting still. I swallowed sharply and he leans into my ear. “We are going to get this built up frustration out of your body and come tomorrow, you getting sober.”
I blinked and can only think of one thing that would burn the energy from my body and it involved Tyler, and a bed.
I stared around my room, and I was still feeling the high of the drugs. I didn’t want to think of the battle that faced me tomorrow. I heard the bedroom door close behind me, and then felt Tyler stand behind me, brushing my hair to the side, as he planted a kiss on my bare shoulder.
He pushed the straps of my dress down my arms, and I knew where this was going and I wanted it; nearly as bad as him. I turned around, just as my dress hit the ground and my lips land on his. I’m kissing him like he’s the other half of my soul, and I’ve never kissed anyone like this before. Fear creeps through me, as I thought that but I knew in order to love, I had to be Fearless.
Could I really give Tyler my full heart? His hands run over my bare hips, while my hands go to his belt. He doesn’t push my panties down, no he tears the side of them, just as he did that, I had undone his belt.
Lifting me up, he brings me down his cock, and moves us towards the bed, while I cling on to him; our lips not parting. My arms are wrapped around his neck, and as I kiss him, I feel myself getting off the drug high and getting addicted to another drug; that could kill me. Tyler Hunter.
Lowering me to the bed, he thrusts into my sharply, while taking his lips off me, kissing along my collar bone.
“Alexis?” He murmurs near my lips; his eyes lock with mine. “Don’t ever run from me again.”
My hand goes to his cheek, it’s the first time in my life I feel it; love and it terrifies me. I kiss his lips at first soft, then I build up the speed, My hand pushing his vest off, and he knees up; still deep inside me as he rips his top off.
My eyes dance over his tattoo skin and all I can think is; I don’t want to fuck him. I want to prove to him, that I’m not the failure that I am. We don’t fuck, no we make love; and it terrifies me. But to love Tyler, I had to be fearless.
Epilogue
One Year Later
TYLER
As soon as I got the phone call, I rushed here. I sped past camera cars, so I was expecting my license being suspended in the near future as I rushed through the hospital. Already got the room number from the nurse, as I jogged up the hallway.
I kept telling her over and over; I’d be here for it. Yet, I hadn’t been. The one fucking day that I step up as Rev’s Vice, is the same day, Alexis goes into labour.
I once thought I didn’t want roots. I learnt quickly that I just needed the right woman to convince me to put down roots. That woman was and would always be Alexis. I had her engagement ring in my pocket, as I pushed open the delivery room door; my eyes land on her.
“I’m here,” And I rush to her side.
“You’re late,” She gritted out, and her hand clenched mine right away. We hadn’t planned on having a family but it happened; just like her and I. I didn’t know if I was going to be a great father, but I knew with Alexis by my side; I’d be the best version of myself possible.
Alexis had me stepping up as Vice for the Mother Chapter. She had me prepared to take over from Rev, like I was expected to. I knew without her, I wouldn’t be me. Which was why as soon as our baby came into the world, I was proposing.
I actually had the proposal set for tonight, but she had gone into labour early; and now, I thought it sort of worked out perfectly. She was already going to be the mother to my baby boy, and I was going to make sure, as soon as Jed, our son was in the world; I’d be proposing to Alexis.
The End.
Ivory
There were two types of racers. The cautious ones and the thrill seekers. My brother was the thrill seeker type. He lived his life at one speed, fast; and I loved him for that. A lot. I was the closest to him out of all my brothers, Gabe and I just were connected. We knew most of the time what the other was thinking, and we could usually predict each other’s moves.
He however liked to play with fire, me, however? Well I would like to say I live life risky, but I didn’t really. I still kept to my safe box. I knew my limits and my biggest weakness—being to love someone or anyone really.
I loved family, but that was a different type of love. It was expected and also, just taken for granted and mostly, it was received back. I knew my other brothers didn’t get why I didn’t encourage and support Gabe from the stands.
However, love where someone else has to risk their heart, well I hadn’t mastered that. I couldn’t give someone that power over me. To love is to lose a part of yourself and give it to someone else. Or at least that was how I looked at it.
I was smoking a joint around the back of the garage when I heard a clearing of a voice.
My head snapped up, hoping it wasn’t my brother as he always frowned upon me smoking on my own.
“You sure a girl like you should be smoking that?” It wasn’t his deep dark voice that scared me. Nor was it the tattoos that ran up his arms, across his fingers and up his neck— showing loyalty to something I would never understand. What scared me was Kace’s eyes. Wasn’t the shade, they were a vivid blue, captivating and alluring. However that wasn’t the case tonight. Instead they looked hollow, like he had lost the piece that was keeping him alive.
I wondered for a minute if he had learnt my lesson regarding loving, that when you do it, you give a part of yourself to that person. For them to destroy or love back—however in this day and age how many people do you know love each other back?
After all, every woman has a lion inside ready to rip a man’s heart to shreds. Just like every man has a beast within him, ready to unleash on the woman that dares says I love you to them.
I don’t run like I should. Instead I extend my joint to him. He looked at it and then me before taking it.
“Do I wanna know what has a girl like you smoking a joint?” he says and I pick up on his tone this time. Like he is frustrated and needs someone to take it out on. Perhaps that was why he was on our side of
the practice course. He came looking for a fight with Gabe. Little did Kace know that Gabe took after Kace’s woman moments ago.
“A girl like me?” I say and he looked back at me, like my words had captivated him. “You keep saying that, but I have no idea what you mean by it.” I add.
He looked me in the eyes, and again I see hollowness. “A pretty, perfect Henderson.” He spits the words out and still has my joint between his fingers, looking at it, he then looked at me. “Who dealt you this?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes it fucking does.” He throws my freshly lit joint on the ground, stomping on it. “Because if it was one of my dealers, I’ll fucking cut your supplier.”
“Because I’m a pretty, perfect, Henderson?” I quote his words and turn to face him fully, pushing myself away from the garage wall. “Kace.” I say his name and his eyes snap to mine. “Grow the fuck up.” I then go to walk around him, only for him to grab my arm.
“What did you say to me?”
“Grow. The. Fuck. Up.” I speak each word singerly and loud. I pulled my arm from his grasp. “God you would think no one has said that no to you before.”
“No one has.” And why did his eyes just darken and it wasn’t with rage? His eyes drop to my lips. “Do you know how many times your brother has kissed my fiancé?”
I frown. “So? Have a word with Gabe not me.” Just saying Gabe’s name, sends rage across his face.
He gripped my hips, and backed me back against the garage wall. His eyes still on my lips.
I know where this is going and I need to be the one to remind him of what is happening. “What about your fiancé Kace?” I said, and his eyes darted off my lips and on to my eyes. “You thinking of Olivia right now? Because she sure as hell won’t take too kindly to you kissing me.”