by Nicole Bea
“Already digging into the traditional campus food, huh?” She scribbles something down on her notepad and turns to Lux before I can reply. “You’ll have the chicken parm, I presume? Or do you want to know the specials?”
He shakes his head. “Chicken parm is fine. Easy on the sauce.”
“Got it. What’s your student ID number, Chelsea?” Jenn looks over at me again, her pen poised over the paper. “It’s on your card.”
I grab my lanyard and flip the card toward Jenn so she can write down the number I notice is listed on the bottom above the bar code. She gives us another quick smile with her crimson lips before she takes off.
“You come here a lot?” I ask, breaking the silence between Lux and me. “You seem to know everyone here so far.”
Lux bobs his shoulders, stretching the fabric of his shirt tight over his biceps. “After nearly four years of meals with the same people on campus, you get to know them pretty well. There’s only a few thousand of us here, and though I like cooking, I find I still eat here a couple of times a week. At least, I used to the last couple of years with my friends, but they all graduated last year. I’m kind of alone until I graduate and hopefully move back home with my potential job offer.”
I’d be more than willing to offer myself up to be Lux’s friend for the rest of the year, but I’d never say that out loud. I mean, I’m sure he’s just being nice to someone new on campus like everyone else I’ve met today has been. There’s a little sense of relief. I was worried that I’d be stuck with a bunch of rude academics who didn’t want to engage with a freshman, but maybe I was wrong about that.
“A quoi penses-tu?” Lux’s French words make my heart jump a little in my chest—what am I thinking? French, now that’s something I can talk about for a long time, but his accent is so perfect I feel awkward with my textbook sentences and somewhat broken comprehension. The French program in Patrick’s Cove wasn’t all that great, but Mom always said knowing a second language would put me in a better position for a job.
“Rien du tout.” Nothing at all. I’m thinking about nothing. If I keep saying it, maybe I’ll believe it. I’m definitely not thinking about my anxious mind, that’s for sure.
“Menteuse.” Lux calls me a liar, but the tone is playful, accented by another gulp of his half-empty beer and a smile.
We banter back and forth until our meals arrive, the tortellini overcooked and Lux’s chicken parmesan looking a little worse for wear. He did warn me that the food might not be as good as I’d expect from a restaurant in town, but this is sadder than even I thought it would be. It still tastes decent, a little mushy, but lots of cheese covers the taste of the falling-apart pasta and fills my suddenly growling stomach. Jenn’s just taken away our dishes and brought us another round of drinks—Lux is on his second beer and I’m nursing another Pilson’s root beer—when I lean back in the booth and take a breath.
“So.” Lux toys with the rim of his glass, drawing a line around it with his pointer finger.
“So?”
“What’re your plans for tomorrow? Going to participate in any of the activities?”
“I honestly can’t remember what’s on for tomorrow. I’d have to look it up in the orientation pack. I think there was something about sign-ups for extracurriculars? I’d be interested in seeing what’s available on campus to keep me occupied other than studying.”
And apparently running into attractive guys.
“Yeah, usually that’s on the second day. People feel braver about interacting with strangers after they’ve run around on the football field shirtless playing Clothesline.”
I let out a little giggle that’s halfway crossed with a snort and take a drink from my root beer, washing the sound down. “I suppose that makes sense. What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I’ve got some more people to meet about books, an appointment here on campus for some after-class stuff, then I’m free for the rest of the day.”
Neither of us says anything for a moment after that, and I wonder if Lux is waiting for me to ask him to meet up again. Then again, I’m sitting over here on the other side of the booth sort of hoping that he’s willing to visit the extracurricular booths with me, so I don’t look like an idiot wandering around by myself with no friends.
Instead, he sips his beer again. “The tables are usually set up out front of here, so maybe I’ll run into you again if we’re around campus at the same time.”
“Are you in a dorm or are you living somewhere nearby?”
“Stayed in Harris during my first three years. Got to overlook the grove. It was pretty nice, actually, but I like having my own apartment this time around.”
“You’re nearby though, I take it?” I barely get the question out before my phone starts ringing. The tone is the one I set for Mom when I first got the device back in July after I smashed my old one on the rocks when Brandon finally admitted to what he’d done. “Sorry…”
I push the button on the side of the phone to silence it, but Lux shakes his head. “It’s okay if you need to get that.”
The thought of Mom thinking something has happened to me because I haven’t answered the phone at —wait, we’ve been here two hours already? Shit.
“I’ll only be a minute, I promise.”
“Take your time.”
Sliding out of the booth back toward the entrance of the lounge, I hit the redial button next to Mom’s name. The phone barely rings once before she answers, her voice loud even over the 90s music playing on the overhead speakers.
“Chelsea! What’s that noise? Are you in a bar?”
“Hi, Mom. No, I’m at the campus restaurant. It’s just the music playing.”
“Are you there all by yourself?”
I pause, thinking of what might be the correct answer to her question. If I say yes, that’s going to seem a little odd. If I say no, that’s also going to be question worthy. However, I take so long in deciding what to say that Mom discerns what’s going on before I even have an opportunity to deny it.
“Oh, honey—you did get that boy’s number, didn’t you? He was handsome. One day on campus and you’ve already met someone. When I met your father, we were both in our freshman year… but promise me that you’ll take things slow, okay? It’s only your first day there.”
“Mom, I’m kind of in the middle of dinner.” I interrupt her gently, waiting for a natural pause in the conversation that only comes when she trails off, thinking about my late father.
“Right. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were all unpacked and settled but I don’t think you really need me to check in on you. I’m sure you’re doing fine.” Her voice has a little crackle to it at the end of the sentence, and I realize that she’s calling more for her benefit than mine.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Chelsea. I just… just make sure you have a good night, okay? And be careful!”
I choke back a laugh that’s mixed with tears that are springing to my eyes at the sound of Mom forcing herself to sound excited and happy when she’s probably lonely. “I’ll be careful. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Sounds good.” She sniffles. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye, Mom.”
Tapping the call end button, I wipe at my eyes with my finger, trying to be mindful not to smudge my mascara, even though it’s waterproof and hard as hell to get off. I can’t help but feel a bit bad that Mom’s spending the night alone, but I’m sure the first evening is the hardest, especially when you’re used to having people around.
Satisfied that I won’t look too much like I’ve been crying, I step back inside, returning to the table where Lux is sitting, tapping away on his phone.
“Everything okay?” His voice is filled with concern.
“Fine, just my mom. She’s having a hard time being alone in the house.” I try to make my voice sound casual, but I can tell it’s still a little wobbly around the edges from hearing my mother cry.
“And are you okay?”
I nod, grasping my root beer, gulping down the remainder of the bottle as I attempt to force the tears on my eyelashes to disappear. “I’m fine too.”
Lux looks me over, his pool blue eyes giving me a careful glance before he changes the subject. “Want another drink?”
Setting the empty bottle down on the table, I give him a small smile. “I’d like that.”
Chapter 3
Lux and I swap stories and drink our various beers until another few hours later, a point at which I swear I’m going to only have root beer flowing through my veins. Jenn stops by to check on us a couple of times throughout the evening, and there are a few pauses in the conversation as Lux hops up from the booth to fetch more drinks from Laury. He must be on his fifth or sixth draught by the time I check the clock on my phone and realize that we’ve been sitting here for four hours and that my back is getting stiff from the moderately hard cushioned seating. I can’t tell if Lux is drunk or not because he seems to be holding his liquor better than the boys in Patrick’s Cove, though I suspect they liked to play drunk more than they actually liked drinking.
“Do you think they’re going to eventually kick us out of here?” I ask Lux, toying with the label of my newest empty Pilson’s bottle, peeling it off the glass. It’s something to do with my hands since the drink is gone, anxiety coming into play again as I realize the dinner crowd has well past emptied out.
“Maybe.” Lux downs the dregs of his beer, flipping over his phone to look at the time. “I should probably let you get going. I’m sure you have other plans for tonight, getting settled and all that. I honestly didn’t mean to take up so much of your time.”
“I didn’t mind. I mean, I don’t mind. I wasn’t planning on doing karaoke anyway, especially not after seeing the chaos of Clothesline.”
Lux chuckles. “Want to get out of here? I’ll go with you back to Harris so you’re not walking around alone in the dark. If you want me to, that is.”
“That’s… that’s really kind of you.”
“We’ve been talking for four hours, Chelsea. You’re not exactly a total stranger.”
He makes a valid point, and I gather my new-to-me textbook and other items off the tabletop before the two of us give a wave to Jenn and Laury and head off through the back doors into the student parking lot. The night air is warm and the sound of lounge music clashes with the screeching and laughter of the few people left in the cafeteria area doing karaoke, though it fades quickly as Lux and I walk around the building under the lamp posts. The moon is only a sliver overhead, punctuated by stars, blinking city lights, and a light coming from the dorm room windows.
We walk along in a comfortable silence all the way to the Ross Building, which joins on to Harris Hall’s pedway and backs onto the cobblestoned lot where Mom dropped me off earlier today. I don’t know why Lux and I don’t talk the whole way there; maybe because we’ve spent four hours in each other’s company and we don’t have anything left to say, or perhaps because Lux is a little wobbly with a stomach full of beer. I can’t be sure, but all I know is that when he holds the door open for me to enter the building, I realize we’re going to have to say goodbye. I’ve learned students at Bedford greet one another with their name and year and major, but how do they end a night like this one?
“It’s so quiet right now,” Lux finally says, looking around the foyer of the building as we walk through, like it’s the first time he’s seen the interior. “Just wait until next week when everyone has moved in and classes finally start. This place is packed from one painting to another.” He gestures casually from a red and white abstract piece to a more modern interpretation of a field.
“Even at night?”
“Maybe not this late, but during the day. I’m never here this time of night, not in these buildings anyway.”
Our footsteps echo along the exposed brick walls and up the staircase that leads to other classrooms. We pass underneath and toward the back doors, which adjoin to the pedway corridor and residence services, making a misshapen triangle. Lux stops at the edge of the hallway, and I follow suit.
“Well, I suppose you can probably make it from here,” he notes, his voice soft. “Thanks again for taking that textbook off my hands. And for hanging out with me for dinner. I had a good time.”
“Me too.” My fingers tighten around the spine of the French 100 class book, and I can feel my heart palpitating. The way Lux is wording things almost makes it sound like we had a date, but it wasn’t a date, it was just two people eating and talking. I mean, he didn’t ask me out, he just suggested we talk in the restaurant. That doesn’t equal a date, or does it? Did I accidentally go on a date with a senior on my first day at Bedford?
“Chelsea?” Lux saying my name breaks the train wreck smashing into my brain. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I give my head a little shake, trying to loosen the thoughts running through it. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”
“Did you not want me to?”
Uh-oh, Lux must have asked me a question while I was spaced out, and now I have no clue what he’s talking about. Come on, Chelsea.
“Not want you to what?”
“I asked if I could get your number to text you some time. I normally wouldn’t ask but I thought we got on well tonight… but I understand if it’s too weird or you’re not comfortable.”
I shake my head a second time, almost not believing what I’m hearing. This tall, extremely handsome senior wants to keep in touch with me? He must be drunk from all that beer. But I kind of do want him to have my number, and I kind of want his back. There’s a tingling sensation in my toes that tells me the degree of my own excitement, but I try to keep it hidden as much as I can. I don’t want it to be too obvious because what if it doesn’t turn into anything? I suppose, if nothing else, he can maybe connect me with some more textbooks in the future or teach me how to attain that perfect French accent.
“Of course it’s okay. I’m 555-0202.”
Lux pulls out his phone from the pocket of his jeans with a little grin, tapping away on the screen. After a second, my phone dings from my shorts pocket. I give him a funny look as I take it out and look down at the message.
Unknown name: Hi.
“I had to make sure it was really your number,” Lux notes with a soft laugh as I look up at him. “I didn’t want to chance losing you in the incoming crowd of freshmen.”
Grinning, I add his contact info to my phone and tap out a quick note. My fingers trip over the screen like I’ve had too much beer as well, but I think I’m wired on sugar.
Chelsea: Hello.
Lux peeks down at his phone with the same smile I’ve come to recognize from our dinner—a little mischievous, a little playful, and a whole lot attractive. It’s almost enough to make me forget about Brandon, though I can’t help but think of the fact that I never had my heart rise into my throat with him like I do when Lux grins. Of course, Brandon’s face has to come in and ruin my thoughts, but my frown is quickly rectified before Lux’s gaze sweeps back to me.
There’s no need to get into a conversation about Brandon and my history, not tonight anyway. Not my first day here. I came to Bedford to forget about his cheating self, not to live by the memory.
“Well, Chelsea, I guess this is where we say goodbye.”
“Again,” I add. “We already said goodbye once today. And for some reason I’m getting the feeling that it’s not going to be the last time we say it to one another either.”
“Oh?” Lux raises an eyebrow, and suddenly I’m surprised at my words as well. I’m not really sure what it is that I’m trying to imply, but what I intended to say was that the campus is small and I’m sure we’ll run into one another again. However, the tired tone of my voice seems to give a sort of interested impression I didn’t think I was even capable of.
“I mean, it’s tiny here in comparison to the other universities, right?” I try to backpedal anyway, hoping that maybe I ha
ven’t shown my interest way too much already. Biting at my chapped bottom lip, I hope that my damaged skin isn’t too obvious.
“Yeah. Pretty small.”
We’re stalling now like we don’t want to leave one another. I can recognize it and I’m sure Lux can too because he’s actively taking part in our small talk in between the walls of the empty pedway. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do in this kind of situation; I’m way out of my element with someone like Lux. The rhythm keeps beating in my head that he isn’t like the guys in Patrick’s Cove, the ones that I’m used to.
“I’d ask if you want to come up for a drink or something, but my room isn’t exactly put together yet and I think we’re probably both full of various kinds of drinks at the moment…” I trail off, incredulous at my offer. It’s something I’ve seen women say on television after a date, asking the man to come inside for a drink which usually leads to something more. It’s not to say that I’m aiming for something more with Lux immediately, but, oh shit, what if he gets that impression? I’m just trying to be nice. Mom did say to take things slow…
“That’s okay, I should get going. You’ve had a huge day and probably need some time to unpack and get yourself sorted. I’ll text you later.”
“Sounds good.” My brain rolls over the words ‘I’ll text you’ and tells me that he’s probably never going to message me. That’s my anxiety speaking now, the fight or flight response kicking in before it gets too awkward. “Thanks for the book.”
“Night, Chelsea.”
Neither of us moves for a moment, and I realize he’s waiting for me to go. I turn slowly, tucking the textbook hard against my chest along with my wallet, grasping them for dear life as I walk down the pedway and through the smell of the cleaner that I’m sure is going to eventually become as familiar as the ocean. I get halfway toward Harris Hall before I peek over my shoulder to see if Lux is still there, but he’s gone.