by Aly Martinez
We both went back to packing boxes.
Holiday music was playing through the speakers in my room while I meticulously folded my underwear, matching them with my bras, when a loud curse caught my attention.
I spun and found Quarry reading papers I immediately recognized.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he boomed, murderous eyes jumping to mine.
My chest tightened, but my pulse spiked in anger. No one got to read my letter from Mia. Not even him.
“What the hell are you doing?” I stomped toward him and tried to snatch it from his hands, but he lifted it over his head, holding it out of my reach.
“Please, God, Liv. Tell me this is a fucking joke,” he snapped.
I stared at him in confusion. What was he mad about? He was reading my letter—not the other way around. I never would have done that to him. Never.
“Did you seriously just read my letter from Mia?” I yanked at his arm, but it was useless. He was too tall and strong for me to do anything about it.
“I damn sure did,” he sneered, storming out of the room.
“Give that back to me. You have no right to…” I rushed after him but paused when I reached his room.
The muscles in his neck were straining, and his nose was still buried in my letter, but his other hand was outstretched, offering a hot-pink envelope my way.
“Why the fuck have we never traded letters?” he asked without looking at me.
“Uh, because they’re private,” I said, lunging forward and trying to snatch my papers from his hands.
He backed out of my reach.
After tossing the envelope on the bed, he started counting something on the paper.
“Damn it, Q. Give that back to me!”
He finally looked up—a mischievous smile softening his irate face.
“Twenty-seven,” he stated in an eerie whisper. “Twenty-fucking-seven, Rocky.” He took a dangerous step in my direction.
I instinctively backed away. “W-what?”
He passed me by and snatched the envelope off the bed. “Read it.”
I shook my head. “She wrote that for you. It’s none of my business what it says.”
“You aren’t even the tiniest bit curious?” He quirked his lips, incredulous.
I glanced at the envelope and lied. “If she’d wanted me to read it, she’d have addressed it to me.”
Groaning in frustration, he looked back down. “Right. Loyal to a fucking fault. Okay.” He laughed without humor. “Quiet, quick, quilt, quirk, quaint, quizzical, queasy, quality, quill, and quasi.” His eyes flashed back up. “And that’s only the first paragraph.” He dragged a frustrated hand through his hair. “For fuck’s sake, Liv. Please tell me you are not this blind.”
Clearly, I was, because I had no clue what the hell he was ranting about. I did know he had my letter and was acting like an asshole for no reason. I focused on that.
“Give me my letter!” I shrieked, losing all patience.
Quarry had already lost his though. He picked his letter up off the bed and made a dramatic show of opening it and then reading. “‘I love you, Quarry Page. And I know you loved me too. But, if you’re reading this, I’m past tense. You can’t be afraid to move on. Live, Q! Love. In the present! Go! Like, right now! Put this letter down.” He paused and lifted his eyes to mine before finishing. “‘And live.’” He dropped his paper back on the bed and then flipped to the back of mine. “‘You can’t be afraid of the quiet, Liv. The only thing hiding in the silence is the loneliness in your heart. Quell the silence and find a way to move on. Quit living in fear and quench your thirst for life the way you’ve always wanted to. You deserve it.” He stopped and looked up, unimpressed. “Please fucking tell me that you realize that bullshit makes no fucking sense.”
I reached forward and snatched my letter from his fingers. “What I know is that you had no right to read that. Those were her final words to me. They don’t need to make sense to you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, and I watched his anger disappear right before my eyes. A small humor-filled smile crept across his face.
“So you think it’s completely coincidental that she used twenty-seven words that start with the letter Q in your letter? And I’d like to point out, while I didn’t go to college, I’m pretty sure she spelled quintessentially wrong and I don’t even think qat is a real word.”
I opened my mouth to reply then quickly closed it. I’d actually never thought of it before. Mia had been crazy. Her letter might not have been a work of art by Shakespeare, but it had comforted me on many nights over the years. I’d never once questioned her motives when she’d written it. Now…
Quarry slowly approached, pinning me against the wall with his hard body. Tenderly cupping my cheek, he whispered, “I suppose you also think it’s a complete coincidence that my letter clearly states that I should ‘move on and live.’ Again, I’m not nearly as well educated as you are…but after seeing your letter, it’s not fucking lost on me that your name happens to be Liv and my nickname is Q.”
My breath caught, and my eyes began to sting. I had no idea what to say.
Quarry did.
“We’re not wrong, Rocky. I have no idea what the fuck kind of game she was playing. Or why she would have even attempted to play it. But I’m sorry, it says something that, even in her last days, she gave that to us. I know you, and while I can tell you’ve put that guilt aside and committed to me, I’d bet my fucking bank account that it’s still hidden inside that beautiful mind of yours somewhere.”
At that, my eyes didn’t just burn—they leaked. He knew me well. No matter what the price, I’d decided I was going to be with Quarry. But there was always going to be a tinge of guilt over the fact that a part of me had wanted him even while she’d been alive. I was suddenly realizing that it wasn’t nearly the betrayal I’d made it out to be. Mia had obviously recognized it, and better yet, she’d known I’d loved her enough that I never would have made a move on him. She’d trusted me. That alone set me free. I should have known she hadn’t been stupid. No, Mia March had been an incredible—albeit slightly twisted—person. This stupid letter crap was merely her way of giving me permission to have the one thing I’d always wanted.
Him.
“Why was she so freaking weird?” I asked through tears. “She couldn’t just say, ‘Hey, it’s okay if you two want to hook up.’”
Quarry chuckled, pulling me tight against his chest. “No, because I’m pretty sure she would not be okay with us hooking up. She’d find a way to cut my nuts off from the great beyond if she thought I was just fucking you.”
I laughed through tears. “She totally would.”
“She wanted us to be happy, Liv,” he whispered, brushing his lips against mine. “And she knew that, after she was gone, you were the only person who would ever be able to give that to me.” He released me and crouched down so we were eye to eye. Holding my gaze, he swore, “She was right. No one in the world could have pulled me out of the darkness, time and time again, the way you have. I don’t know why you and I had to suffer to get here, but this right here is how it was always supposed to be. I’ve never been able to find a purpose in her death before, but those letters, the way I feel right now, knowing I can finally have all of you… I can’t help but feel like maybe this was her purpose. This was the madness we had to overcome in order to finally realize we were meant for each other.”
Staring into the hazel eyes that had always owned my heart, I couldn’t help but agree with him.
I sniffled and dropped my forehead to his chest. “Qat is a word.”
He chuckled. “Learn something new every day.”
After gliding my hands up his chest, I circled my arms around his neck, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Rocky. Every. Single. Day.”
“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” I bit out, pacing a path into the manicured grass. Considering I was alone and standing in front of Mia’s grave, my questio
n went not surprisingly unanswered.
It had been a while since I’d been out to the cemetery, but after dropping Liv off at the new house, I knew that it was time for a special trip.
“Those letters were the most ridiculous play I have ever seen. Do you have any idea how hard I’ve had to work to convince her that we weren’t having an affair on you? For fuck’s sake, Mia. You really could have saved me a lot of trouble if you’d stopped with the mind games.” I stilled, glancing down at the small stone that marked her final resting spot. At the sight, the pain still sliced through me, but a smile grew on my face. “Thank you,” I whispered into the cold, dark night. My breath formed a puff of white, and as it dissipated, it took a lifetime of pain along with it. “Thank you so fucking much for her.”
I stood there for a few minutes longer, trying to find words to express my gratitude for the way Mia March had touched my life.
For keeping me in line as a teen when I’d thought that, at any minute, the world was going to crumble at my feet.
For loving such a broken boy who had been so angry that he couldn’t even figure out how to love himself but had somehow found a woman who would love him anyway.
For accepting Liv and healing her timid soul in a way I never would have been capable of doing.
For being so strong in the face of death that she’d still had the foresight to offer Liv and me peace in a world where she no longer existed.
And, most of all, for just being the type of woman who loved with wild abandon even in the middle of utter chaos.
She’d been gone for almost five years, and I could have stood there for five more, trying to find those words of gratitude, but that wouldn’t have been living. Right then, the woman Mia had all but given to me was at home, curled up next to a fire, waiting for me to come home, so that’s what I did.
With a simple nod, I signed the words I love you and then headed back to my car.
“Leo, come on, man!” I complained.
Liv shifted in my lap, passing me her empty wine glass to set on the end table. “Let him talk,” she scolded, burrowing into my side.
It was Christmas night, and we were all over at Till’s house, relaxing after a huge dinner. Slate and Erica had come over with their kids, and Leo and Sarah had driven down the night before with Liv’s little brother, Ty, so we could all be together on Christmas Day. I had personally invited Leo with one thing on my mind, but as he stood in front of my entire family, preparing to tell this story, I knew I’d made a huge mistake.
“Jesus, how old were you, Q?” Leo asked, but I refused to answer.
“Thirteen!” Till called out with a huge smile from the couch, his arms securely anchored to Eliza’s thigh. His other was wrapped around a beer.
“Right. Okay, so he was thirteen. You have to remember Quarry didn’t look anything like a kid back then. I knew grown men who would have cowered if he’d approached them in a dark alley.”
“Damn right!” I yelled, causing the whole group to laugh.
“So there I was, doing some paperwork in Slate’s office, when the door swung open, and lo and behold, there stood this mutant teenager. I shit you not, the light flowed in from behind him like he was the grim reaper coming to take my soul.”
I groaned, knowing that, if this was the sensationalized spin Leo was giving it, this story was going to get a whole lot worse in a few minutes.
Liv looked back at me and giggled. I found not one thing funny, but her exuberant reaction still made me chuckle.
Leo continued. “When my eyes adjusted, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The Great ‘Stone Fist’ Page, king of amateur boxing, was standing in front of me with tears streaming from his eyes.” He raked his fingers down his face to exaggerate the tears.
“It was, like, one tear!” I shouted.
“Bullshit! I’ve seen rivers that contained less water.”
I cursed under my breath, and Flint decided to chime in.
“Little baby Q always has been good at the waterworks.”
I flipped my brother off before turning my attention back to Leo. “Can you just fucking get on with it?”
“Language!” Sarah yelled with a grin, tossing an empty water bottle at me.
I quickly caught it and then hurled it at Flint. He easily caught it and acted like he was going to retaliate, but I ducked my head behind Liv.
Erica scowled and then confiscated the bottle like we really were the kids we were acting like.
Leo started up again. “You should have seen him. His chin was quivering and everything. I’d heard all the trouble he’d been in since coming home from Till’s fight in Vegas. Hell, I think it’s safe to say we were all having trouble adjusting to life after that.”
A solemn air blanketed the room at the mere mention of that day. We all recognized it, and Liv went stiff in my arms at the memory.
Flint decided to lighten the mood. “Not me,” he said. “I had a blast in Vegas. Came home with a set of new wheels and everything.”
Ash tapped her foot against the bottom of his cane and shuffled under his arm, tossing him a glowing, white smile that visibly eased him.
A warmth washed over me when my kiss on Liv’s temple seemed to have the same effect on her.
“Right. Well, at this point, Quarry had been skipping almost every day at school, and the few days he did attend, he’d somehow managed to get into so many fights that he’d gotten expelled. Oh, and even though he seemed to truly love brawling, he’d decided to quit boxing. He was one step away from being a juvenile delinquent, and there he was, standing in front of me, begging me to let him see my daughter.” He laughed, but the humor fell from his voice as he swung his angry gaze to mine. “The same daughter who was never the same after that day in Vegas, either.”
“Daddy,” Liv warned when Leo’s glare lingered for a few uncomfortable beats.
It sucked, but I deserved far worse, so I squared my shoulders, held Liv on my lap, and took the heat.
Still holding my gaze, Leo puffed his lip out in an exaggerated a pout, “‘But…but, Leo,’” he mimicked in a baby voice. “‘I…I love her. I’m a Page man… We know love.’” His scowl turned into a grin as the room started laughing.
Liv quickly looked at me. Her eyes were wide and downright hopeful. “Did you…” she trailed off.
I didn’t want this story to be told at all, but that look on her face made every second of the embarrassment completely worth it.
I confirmed with a nod. “I wasn’t wrong.” I lifted my chin to Till and Eliza then to Flint and Ash, “We do know love.”
She sighed like it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
Leo silenced the room with a hand and pushed further. “You should have seen his face when I wrapped my hand in his shirt, snatched him off the ground, and pinned him against the wall.” He scratched his chin and asked, “How’d it go after that, Q?”
I cleared my throat and lied. “I can’t remember.”
“Luckily for you, I do.” He smirked. “I said, ‘Well, marry her, then.’ You all should have seen his face as it morphed into absolute terror. I swear, right then and there, he developed a stutter.” Again with the baby voice. “‘L-l-like right now, Leo?’”
I dropped my head and laughed right along with everyone else, including Liv. “Yep. Laugh it up! Hi-larious!” I said, tickling her.
“Poor kid looked at me like I was about to force him to the altar.” Leo barely managed to get the words out around his laughter. “After that, ‘The Stone Fist’ was more than willing to listen to anything I had to say. The first thing I told him was that I would never allow him near her again if he didn’t get his shit together. This included, but was not limited to, studying hard, making good grades, being the decent human being I knew he was capable of, treating Till and Eliza with respect, and securing his future by getting back in the ring we all knew he was born for.”
The laughter quieted.
“The second thing I told him
was that, if he was man enough to know that he was in love with her, he was man enough to realize that she deserved better than him. I stand by that opinion too. But you see, Quarry caught me on a loophole. My daughter was twelve, so, Sarah, you’ll have to forgive me here.” He looked back at his wife, who was all but glowing. “I told him if and when he accomplished all of that, I would personally walk her down the aisle to him one day.”
The women all swooned.
Liv’s hand found mine and intertwined our fingers.
Oh, but Leo wasn’t done yet. Not even close.
“You know, Liv, I wasn’t around when you were born. I’ve always regretted that. I missed so much of your life in those early years, and your mom can attest to this. But I vowed shortly after you came to live with us that those days were over. So I’m real sorry if I ruin this for you, baby, but you have to realize Quarry has made good on his promises to me.”
My entire body went on alert as Leo’s face softened while looking at his daughter.
“He’s a good man, Liv. He can more than provide for you and whatever family you decide to make in, say…twenty years. While you two haven’t been ‘officially’ together for a long time, I’d have to be blind not to see how much he loves you.”
I pushed to my feet with Liv still in my arms. “Leo,” I said, attempting to cut him off as Liv slid to her feet.
He kept right on talking. “There is not a doubt in my mind that he would lay down his own life to protect you from even a second of harm. And, for those reasons alone, I gave him my blessing to ask for your hand in marriage not even an hour ago.”
Son.
Of.
A.
Bitch!
The room broke into a mixture of gasps and loud laughs. I, however, closed my eyes and cursed under my breath as Liv turned rock solid in my arms.
“Sorry, son. She’ll like this better. I promise. That quiet proposal around the Christmas tree wasn’t going to cut it for me.” Leo chuckled before walking over to grip my shoulder.
“Wow. I was unaware my proposal had to cut it for you at all,” I growled, pinching the bridge of my nose.